Chapter Twenty-Nine

There is only one stranger – relative stranger, really; she's heard so much about Jonathan Kay at this point – but still, the lanky blonde hovering in the doorway immediately makes an awkward silence spread around the flat.

"Anybody want tea?" Bodhi asks hopefully and Kay turns his attention to him, apprehensive.

"What kind of tea?"

Bodhi looks somewhat affronted anyone would question his stock of tea. "We have Ceylon, Assam, Earl Grey, Sencha, Darjeeling –"

"Sounds like they will get along," Cassian mutters under his breath and she smiles to herself. And maybe when she passes him her hand brushes against his, because apparently she is now a person who allows herself that kind of indulgence. Besides, this whole gathering already seems so absurd and so completely and utterly unreal to her – it's like a dream, right, what she does right now doesn't really count.

"Guys? Tea?"

Cassian shakes his head and takes a seat – the one facing the door that doesn't have the window right behind it, and Jyn wonders what it says about her that she notices.

It takes Kay another full minute to decide whether or not their Darjeeling is worth his while, and another two for Bodhi to sort them all out with steaming hot drinks, the only sound the kettle and the soft clanging of teaspoons.

She catches Cassian's gaze across the small table. He looks tired again, tired like when they first met. That's on her, now… God, what is she doing? She should've just got a car and left, and left everyone in this room well out of it. What right does she have to ask them for favours? She doesn't know Kay, and Bodhi – Bodhi doesn't owe her anything. He's put up with her, hasn't he, all those years; if anything, she owes him a favour. A million favours. After everything he's done for her, is she really going to drag him back into everything he's just struggled free from, guns and adrenaline and war? What does that say about her?

And Cassian… he would do this without her, no doubt, or something else that could get him killed. If he saw the slightest chance of that helping his cause, he'd do it. But that's not what scares him, is it? That's something he's lived with for a long time now, and it's almost like putting his life on the line is making him feel better. No, that bright spark of fear in his eyes certainly isn't for himself, and that is somehow worse. It's for her.

How the hell did you spin that one, Jyn?

She watches him watching her, and thinks how wonderful a patient he must be for Mothma, compared to her. Not that either of them is particularly forthcoming, of course, but he's so aware of himself, every emotion, every thought neatly labelled and filed away. She's just scared, and has no idea for whom, or even of what exactly, and she's not even sure if any of the possible consequences have sunk in at all.

"Jyn?"

She gives a start, eyes flickering up to Bodhi who is holding out a cup, a shaky smile on his face.

"We can… come back later, if you two are –"

"Haha," she mutters and wraps her fingers around the cup. "Cheers."

Kay folds his long limbs onto one of their small chairs, suspiciously sniffing his tea; Bodhi takes a seat next to him and watches her with dark, expectant eyes, distantly worried. God, has she seen him not look worried all year, really?

Next to her, Cassian shifts in his seat ever so slightly, just enough to draw her attention to the gun in her peripheral vision, which doesn't do much to relax her. Bodhi sits up a little too straight, the stance painfully reminding her of their army days. (Kay too looks like he swallowed a steel rod, but she imagines that's just who he is as a person.)

"You're caught up, right?" she asks in Kay's direction, and he bristles.

"Cassian told me what you intend to do, but I'm still failing to see how exactly this is an actual working plan, so by all means, go over it again," he gives back, causing Cassian to sigh softly.

Jyn turns back to Bodhi and begins, with a little too much force:

"I'm gonna go to El Paso. The…" She takes a breath, resumes. "My father. He said he left something for me. I have to see if it's still there."

"Like money?" Bodhi asks slowly, and she shakes her head.

"Evidence."

Bodhi frowns, then casts his eyes down to his teacup. "Won't… won't that be dangerous?" He turns to Cassian and Kay and adds in a voice that somehow manages to sound confused and quietly reproachful: "Shouldn't the DEA do that?"

She sighs, and meets Cassian's dark eyes for a moment. There's a grim little smile sitting in the corner of his eyes.

"It's too thin. Our bosses don't trust a source like that, they won't risk it. So we're on our own." He looks at Bodhi and his expression softens slightly. "I'll go with her. It's still… it's not ideal. If they find out what we're there for, it will be dangerous."

You had to say it, she thinks darkly, throwing him a dirty look, then adds towards Bodhi:

"But they might have never even known what exactly my father took, and they have no idea we're coming for it now."

Bodhi's frown doesn't vanish. "Do – do you really think… do you think your father would want you to do that, Jyn?" he asks very hesitantly, and Jyn feels her jaw tense.

I doubt they wanted any of this for me.

"No. But they killed my mother," she replies flatly. "And him, too. And I'm not the only one they did this to, not by a long stretch," she adds after brief consideration, forcing herself not to look at Cassian. "So if I can help stop that, then I will."

Bodhi nods very slowly and is quiet for a while, stirring in his cup. He hates it, of course, that's not exactly surprising.

"Bodhi, it's my choice, I'm –"

"I know," he says in a quiet, firm voice, looking up at her. "I'm not arguing, I get it."

She blinks, thrown off. In the millions of versions of this conversation that she's gone through the previous night, staring at the ceiling in the dark, there wasn't one where he didn't argue –

There's something sitting in his dark eyes beneath the fear that she was expecting, something stubborn and wounded, and suddenly, she feels like an idiot. Of course he gets it. Who knows more about being thrown into a fight you didn't want by people who were supposed to protect you, and being too afraid to do anything but cower and take it, than Bodhi? Bodhi, reprimanded half his life by everyone around him for something that was a part of who he was, that wasn't up to him; Bodhi who'd only ever wanted to fly and still had the scars to show for the price he paid for that?

"So I can do something to help, right?" he asks, before she can open her mouth to say anything. "That's why we're sitting here."

Cassian throws her a glance, then nods. "Kay could use help."

"Our colleagues aren't entirely reliable in this scenario, seeing as we're going directly against our boss's orders," Kay says pointedly, throwing Cassian a dark look.

"I don't know if we could trust Antilles with this," Cassian explains in an even tone.

"We could really use Dameron," Kay gives back, in a tone that tells Jyn they've had this argument before.

Something sparks up in Cassian's eyes at that. "We're keeping him out of this, Kay. He's not a very good liar and besides, he's… He'll have a son in a few weeks. We can't get him in trouble."

"Okay, so…" Bodhi frowns. "So you're gonna go to El Paso and… and what? Do you even know where to look, or…?"

"He had a vault in a bank there. He left me the account number," Jyn says slowly.

"Do… do they just let you see in there if you have the number?" Bodhi asks, still frowning. His tea, half finished, is growing cold on the table. "Because… because you can't prove that you're, like… your passport doesn't even have the right name in it."

She's thought about that too, and then decided she won't think about it again. That's a bridge to cross when they get there, hopefully.

"His letter said I can open it."

"Like I said, it's…" Cassian sighs. "It's not ideal."

"Okay, but… so you just have to go to the bank and ask to see the vault? And then… take whatever's in there and leave?"

It sounds so simple, she thinks with a sigh. That's always a good sign for a stupid plan.

Cassian grimaces. "In an ideal world."

"What does that mean?"

"Well, El Paso is very decidedly Tarkin's turf. Krennic's turf. So if we ask for Galen Erso's account… chances are there'll be an employee calling Krennic the next minute."

"They might not, though," Jyn adds quickly, attempting a small smile towards her best friend. "Maybe Krennic never found out about that account, and then they won't know to look out for anyone asking about it."

"Well, the odds of that are extremely low. If Krennic was that stupid, he'd have died a long time ago," Kay says flatly and Jyn throws him a dark look.

"Thank you. Helpful."

"I've done more stupid things, if you remember," Cassian adds quietly, looking at his friend who returns his glare, unperturbed.

"Maybe, but that was before you were out of it for so long. And you're not going in alone this time, Cassian, you're going in with an untrained civilian –"

"A civilian who was groomed for guerrilla warfare since she was about twelve, completed over two years of infantry training in the British Army and has a very realistic shot at killing my martial arts obsessed boyfriend with her bare hands," Bodhi suddenly says in a matter-of-fact kind of tone, cutting them both off. "So not untrained. Or civilian, for that matter, I don't think that really applies."

Jyn is slightly taken aback; Bodhi has been against her threatening to beat people up since day one, but this almost sounds like he's taking comfort in the fact that she could. She is, however, a little flattered, too.

"Well, be that as it is, she's still not trained to run this sort of –"

"I am, actually," she says with a sigh. She didn't think she'd have to wait for Kay to get with the program here. "I've snuck stuff I wasn't supposed to have out of places before, alright, so can we maybe focus on how we won't be noticed by the cartel that runs the neighbourhood, because that's where I see the problem."

Kay raises a brow at her, then looks at Cassian and sighs. "You know, I can't tell if that's at all reassuring."

"So you're going into the bank. What do you need us to do?"

"I have some old CIs in the area," Kay replies with a look of resignation on his face. "If we ask them the right questions, hopefully we can get them to tell us when the coast is clear without ever telling them who we're looking for. The more we can be in direct contact with while they're inside, the better. That way, we might be able to warn them if anyone important is coming."

"If we can map out where Tarkin, Krennic and their underlings are before we go in, we'll know how much time we have to get back out," Cassian adds. "We can't just go on what we know when we leave here because these guys move around all the time. We'll need someone to keep the information updated."

"And I also need to go in to work for as long as possible so Draven doesn't realise Cassian is ignoring direct orders and common sense until it's too late to stop him," Kay adds sourly. "Which I can only repeat I will do under protest."

"I don't like it either, Kay," Cassian replies in a tired voice, and she isn't sure how true that is. She isn't sure he knows how true that is, either. "I'm not enjoying going behind his back, but if there's a chance to get this kind of evidence, we have to go for it and you know that," he adds, with some more vigour to his voice this time. "Besides, we'll have a perfectly valid excuse for my absence."

"I know all that, but I don't have to like it," Kay says flatly and takes a sip from his cup.

Bodhi sighs. "This really doesn't sound like a… good plan."

"Well, the facts are we have no reinforcements and it relies mostly on things we can't know beforehand, so it's…" Cassian sighs and trails off, and Bodhi throws him a pointed look.

"I was hoping you would reassure me here, mate, not tell me it basically all rests on blind luck."

"It's not the dumbest thing I've ever done," he gives back with a shrug. "That's what I can offer."

He's never really spoken about his work in Mexico, but even from what little she knows she can tell that statement offers even less reassurance than the first one.

"I've definitely done more stupid things," she adds tersely, attempting a smile towards her flatmate that doesn't have the desired effect. "You should know."

He scoffs and drops his gaze on his cup, stirs in his tea for a while, then asks: "So, when?"

"We're leaving Saturday."

His eyes flicker back up in alarm. "This… this Saturday?"

"Krennic is usually in New York in the first week of the month at least for a few days, so Monday afternoon is our safest bet that he won't be there," Cassian says and Bodhi frowns.

"Well, if everyone knows he isn't there, his people will have their guard up, right?"

Cassian nods. "They will, but Krennic handled Galen Erso himself, he hardly allowed contact to anyone else, and if he knows that Galen hid something that could hurt him, Krennic definitely won't have told his men about it, not if they could use it against him. So at least they won't know what exactly we're coming to get."

"Great," Bodhi mutters sardonically, and a small smile flickers around Cassian's lips.

Kay sighs and turns to Bodhi. "Do you know how to operate a computer?"

"I… can use google?"

Cassian's colleague throws him an exasperated look. "I'm not optimistic about our odds."

"Yes, I heard that the first twenty times," he mutters. "We'll just have to hope it goes okay. Wouldn't be the first time."

"We could go with you," Bodhi argues quietly, and Jyn feels her throat tighten, but Kay shakes his head.

"We would just draw additional attention, and I have more resources at my disposal here at the office."

"That, and Kay was stationed in El Paso a few years back, somebody could recognise him. They keep very close tabs on the local DEA."

"Okay, but I could –"

"No," Jyn says flatly. "Kay can use a second pair of hands, and I'm not going to drag you back into…" She trails off and shakes her head, caught in his dark eyes that are looking at her defiantly across the table. "No, Bodhi. Besides…," she adds with a feeble attempt at a grin, "Chirrut would kill me."

"He'll kill me if I let you do this," he gives back darkly.

"Not if you let him sponsor the operation with free tea," Cassian says quietly, and she feels her smile turning a little more real.

"Actually, he'd probably be delighted to call in at the bank and distract the employees."

"You don't really mean to include the blind martial arts teacher from down the street, do you?" Kay asks in an exasperated tone, and Cassian shrugs.

"Realistically, how much worse would that make it?"

Kay gives a weary sigh. "Well, you're right. It probably wouldn't decrease your odds by more than one digit."

The faint grin on Cassian's lips stays for a moment, then he wipes it off. "You can say no," he says softly. "If you don't want to help, say no, walk away. You don't have to do it."

"That would just decrease your odds even further," Kay says indignantly, "and as I keep saying, they're not exactly high to begin with."

Cassian sighs. "Kay. You'd be a huge help, that's why we're asking. But if we're asking too much –"

"Well, we're still sitting here, aren't we," Bodhi says in a quiet, flat voice, cutting him off. "And I don't know, I kind of feel like I have to do it. Like he said, you really think we'll opt out of trying to get you out of there alive?"

"Besides," Kay adds, still in his slightly peevish tone, "I suppose I still owe you."

Cassian scoffs and looks down on his hands. "You don't owe me your job, Kay."

"I agree. So I hope you're sure there is a realistic chance this will pan out."

Jyn glances at Cassian, not quite sure what reply to expect, but he just throws his colleague a terse smile.

"There is. It's risky, but what we have to gain – We'd get Krennic, we could realistically make a strong enough case against Tarkin to get him extradited…" He gives a short, humourless laugh and adds in a quieter, less firm voice: "Kay, this could uproot most of the Juaréz cartel. This kind of thing – this is what we've worked for for years, and – God, it… It would effectively make all my problems in Mexico just go away. That's… I think that will motivate me to make this work, right?"

"They're not expecting us. Even if they're tipped off, what are the chances there's even a plan in place for this?" Jyn adds. "The chances aren't that bad, really. Everything we're discussing right now is a failsafe."

Cassian's eyes flicker towards her, for just a moment, trying to gauge if she really believes that. The answer is, she doesn't know, and it doesn't matter, because she has to do this, and he has to do this, and that's the end of that.

.

The daylight is starting to fade, but she doesn't bother turning on the lights. She opens the window and lights a cigarette.

"Cassian's not staying?"

She shakes her head and takes a drag. "Shooting range, I think."

Bodhi is quiet for a while and pours himself another cup of tea. "You're scared."

She scoffs. "I'd be stupid if I wasn't."

"True." He sighs. "It has to be… it has to be this Saturday?"

"No point in waiting another month," she answers softly, staring out at the fading blues and yellows over the buildings outside.

She can't help but wonder if there's some other argument for the date, though, something Cassian hasn't told her about.

Besides, we'll have a perfectly valid excuse for my absence. Out of all the things endlessly rotating in her head, that remark is what's taken hold – probably because this seems the least unsettling to think about. The rest just makes her chest all tight.

September. Not my lucky month. That has to be it, right? What else would Cassian label a 'valid excuse'?

She takes another drag of her cigarette, then flicks it out of the open window and gets out her phone.

There is a public library three blocks away, open for another two hours. For a moment, she stares at the screen. He wouldn't want her to know – if he did, he would have just told her, right? But if it is, shouldn't she know? Wouldn't it affect him, if it's his family?

He never has to know she found out, does he, she should just make sure. If it is what she thinks it is, it'll be safer, won't it, if she knows what's going on…

She stuffs her phone back into her pocket, her mind made up; then grabs the fags as well after brief consideration. "I'm heading out for a minute. I can bring back dinner?"

Bodhi throws her a very strange look, and she suddenly realises this could be one of the last –

Don't, Jyn.

"Pizza?" he asks quietly, and she attempts a smile.

"Yeah, sounds good."

The library could use some more windows and is stuffed to the brim with students bent over textbooks, positively reeking of desperation. She makes her way past the rows of books and the tables and sits down at one of the computers at the back.

Apparently, Cassian's paranoia is rubbing off. She spends twenty minutes randomly googling Mexican journalists, cartel members and memorable historical events, deciding she wants the browser history to look like someone was doing a school project, before she actually starts looking. Entering a name would make it look too much like she is researching a single event, so instead, she adds 1995 to her query and scrolls down a list of journalists killed in Mexico City, clicks a bunch of them for good measure, until she finds the right name.

And there it is. There it is.

September 4th. Javier Andor Vélez and family.

September. Not my lucky month.

She stares at it for a long time. So on Sunday, it will have been – twenty-one years. Jyn swallows with some effort, and stares and stares. A valid excuse.

She finds a newspaper article from the day after, a short and sober report of the killings of the three journalists, their families that died with them hardly more than a footnote, no explicit mention of children at all.

Still it seems so real, suddenly, seeing it there in print. She wonders if that's what it felt like for him, when he read her father's file. If that is why he chose to help.

Marco… my brother, he'd be twenty-six now, she thinks, and feels her heart clench just at the memory of how he says that name, if he ever does – with a little wince, a little annoyance, and that helpless, endless affection that she remembers all too well, that love towards a family member you never knew long enough to ever have a real fight with.

She takes a few deep breaths and tries to collect herself. She clicks around the list a bit more for good measure, adds a few different years to the browser history, pulls up the article on Sicario and a few other movies, searches for a few published works on the subject until she's satisfied with the false trail she's laid. But then, just when she's getting ready to leave –

It's not even an obituary, not really, just a handful of lines published a few days after the murders, and she doesn't understand half of them, but she gets the gist. For a while, she just stares at it, then she gets to her feet and walks to the front desk.

"Can you show me where I can print something?"


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