Love the Unloved
Chapter 27
A week went by and school resumed as usual, but Hermione wasn't there. She was still in the hospital and for the most part unresponsive, despite the fact that she had woken up. Harry was cold to the majority of the student body and even the teachers and the people who tried to ask him how Hermione was, received a verbal thrashing from the young boy. It was now Friday afternoon and he was sitting at the table with Ginny and Neville when he saw Remus coming up to him.
"Harry…Hermione is being brought to the castle by Tonks," he whispered. Harry and his two friends were instantly on their feet and following the man out the doors. The Professors had caught the exchange and felt their stomach's knot.
They raced out to the grounds and looked toward the gate to see Tonks holding the very frail arm of Hermione Granger as she slowly walked her up to the gate. Harry carefully approached Hermione and gently reached out and touched her hand.
"Hey, Hermione…" he said softly. The girl looked up and in her eyes there was no light and Harry felt his chest tighten.
They all walked around her as if to shield her from everyone. Hermione was slowly led down the corridor and several students stopped to stare, but she didn't look at any of them. She was lost. Hermione vaguely heard some of her other teachers around her, but Professor Lupin and Tonks kept them from approaching her.
Hermione glanced up and her eyes immediately landed on the dark form in the otherwise brightly lit corridor. When she looked up at his face, there was an expression she was not very familiar with when it came to him. Remorse? She couldn't be sure, but then again at the moment she didn't really care. Her breath suddenly shortened when he slowly approached her.
Severus didn't care that the students were all around, watching with baited breath as he approached her. He was supposed to be staying away from her, but he felt the urge to tell her that he was sorry, but stopped short when Hermione backed up and stood behind Tonks with a look of fear in her eyes. He felt his heart clench painfully and pain flashed across his features for a brief moment before he straightened up and masked his expression to one of indifference. His eyes narrowed and without a word, he turned and stalked off.
Once Hermione was in her room, she sat down quietly on the sofa and stared at the wall while her friends sat around her. She felt oddly empty. No one would really tell her what was going on or what had happened and she was still confused about what she had been told. Kingsley had told her that her parents had been killed and that she had been found with them, but she didn't believe him. She had just been at her parent's house and they had enjoyed a picnic together and she stayed up with her mother, reading. They weren't dead, but for some reason, she still felt like there was an empty void inside her. She remembered that Severus had left her because of the rumors that had been going around about him and she had heard a few things about Ron being the start of it. Hermione felt a soft nudge against her hand and looked down to see Crookshanks looking at her with a solemn expression. Reaching down, she gently pet his head listening to him purr softly.
Her mind wandered to the look on Severus's face. He looked as though he was sorry and tried to approach her, but she believed he was playing a cruel trick on her. Why did he want to hurt her more? Hadn't he done enough? She was sure that he was playing the part of someone who still loved her, if he ever had, only to bring her down again for something he thought she had done. She had hidden behind Tonks because she couldn't stand the thought of being hurt again and she was sure that she would fall for his trickery.
"Hermione?" She looked up at Ginny. "We are here for you, alright," she said softly. She nodded and looked at the clock.
"I need to go to class," she rasped softly.
"No, I think you should take the rest of the day," Harry cut in with concern.
"I missed a week…I'm behind," she argued quietly.
"You're getting an extension in all your classes."
"I don't want an extension," Hermione said.
"Hermione, I think it's best that you rest. Your next class would be potions," Remus said.
"I know…and that's the one class I don't have to use magic," she said in a dejected tone. There was silence for a moment before Harry sighed.
"If you think you can handle it…but Hermione…if you need us…let us know," he said, wishing she would just stay in her room.
Hermione found herself slowly walking to Potions class, avoiding everyone who tried to talk to her. She ignored the sympathetic looks and walked into the dim classroom, finding a seat in the back away from the other students. Pulling out her potions book, she halfheartedly flipped through it and waited. The students came in and sat down, most of them looking back at her curiously, but when the classroom door banged shut, she visibly jumped, but refused to look at Professor Snape.
Professor Snape was about to start his lecture when his eyes landed on the frail Gryffindor in the back of the classroom. His eyes widened a fraction, but he quickly masked his face again.
"Miss Granger, what are you doing here?" he asked.
"I'm enrolled in this course, Professor," she replied emotionlessly.
"I am aware of that, but you are supposed to be resting," he replied tersely.
"I've been resting in a hospital for a week," she retorted, this time with a little more edge to her voice.
"Do not talk back to me," he sneered.
"Why don't you just not talk to me at all?" she snapped, finally feeling the anger boiling through her like a hot flame that she couldn't control. The students gasped in shock and looked at the Professor who stared at her in anger and surprise. It was an awkward silence before Professor Snape's deep voice resounded throughout the classroom.
"As you wish, Miss Granger," he replied and caused everyone to gape at him. Professor Snape then turned and began lecturing, trying his best to ignore her presence.
Hermione was quietly tending to her potion once Professor Snape had allowed them to start and she heard whispers about her all around. She wished that they would all shut up. She sniffed softly when she heard some of them talking about her parents. Why do people keep saying that they are dead? Her hands trembled as she added the next ingredients. Hermione tried her best to ignore those around her and as she went to cut the fig root, but she was so distracted that she was shaking as she tried to slice it.
Suddenly, a large hand covered hers to steady to knife and helped her cut through the root. She turned her large brown eyes toward the figure and found herself staring into the obsidian eyes of Professor Snape. The electricity that shot up her arm from his touch took her breath away.
"Be careful, Miss Granger. If you do not feel well enough to work, you are permitted to go to your rooms," he said quietly.
"Stop pretending like you care," she whispered. She was not going to fall for it. She couldn't. Severus tightened his hand a little around hers.
"I do care," he replied softly.
"You didn't care when you put me down in front of everyone. You didn't care when I begged you to believe me when I said I didn't tell anyone about your secrets. How could you possibly care?" she asked, tears filling her eyes.
Severus felt his stomach twist in pain as he looked into the pain filled eyes of the woman he had come to love. Love? His heart nearly stopped when he finally let it really set in. He loved her, but he couldn't bring himself to admit it.
"Hermione…"
"Go away…" she whispered painfully and turned her back on him and continued to work on her potion. Severus felt a dead weight drop in the pit of his stomach and couldn't find the words to describe the despair he felt. Swallowing, he stepped away from her and noticed the other students staring at him.
"What are you looking at?" he snarled viciously. "Get back to work!" Everyone immediately went back to work.
Severus sat angrily behind his desk, his eyes scanning the classroom bitterly and resting on the Gryffindor longer than anyone else. She looked so desolate as she added her ingredients and followed the instructions. She looked as though she barely had the strength to lift the stirring rod into the cauldron. Severus felt pity for her, but he was also angry. He made a mistake, he knew that, but what did she expect? How was he supposed to know that the Weasley kid got into his rooms through hers and stole his journal?
Another week went by and the tension was high in the potions classroom. Everyone could see that Hermione was deteriorating but she refused help from anyone. She didn't really eat much anymore and the Headmistress was close to putting Hermione on suicide watch and forcing Poppy to giving her food supplement potions.
Hermione was lying in bed, sweat covering her body as she tossed and turned, the images of her parents bloodied bodies burning into her mind. Her eyes flew open and she screamed a terrible scream, unknowingly causing Severus to startle in his lab. He had heard it even down the corridor. The frail Gryffindor scrambled into a sitting position and looked around her room.
"They really are dead…" she gasped and jumped out of bed. She didn't care that she was in nothing but her knickers and a camisole as she bolted from the room and raced down the corridor trying to get out to the grounds as fast as she could. There were no students out so there was no one there to stop her as she made her way to the Astronomy tower. It was a snow storm outside, but she barely felt the cold as she trudged through the snow.
Severus had avoided really speaking to her, but after hearing her scream he felt unease and decided to check on her. Walking to her room, he noticed that the portrait door was still open. Quickly, he searched her rooms and felt his stomach churn uncomfortably when he saw her wand sitting on the nightstand. He grabbed it and hurried out of the rooms and down the corridor, not exactly sure where to look for her.
Hermione was standing on the edge of the Astronomy tower looking out at the castle grounds with tears streaming down her face. The bitter cold nipped at her frail skin painfully. Thoughts of her parents kept filling her mind and she kept wishing that she could see them again.
"Mum…Dad…I miss you so much…nobody loves me here…nobody wants me…"
"You will always be welcome with us, dear" her mother said softly.
"I…I want to be with you…but…the Dark Lord…is still alive…and…" she sobbed and then trailed off.
"And what, darling? Your father and I miss you," her mother replied.
"I still…I still love him…Severus…I still love him…but he doesn't want me…and I don't know what to do…"
"Are you sure he doesn't want you?"
"I am pretty sure…I think…"
"You're not sure…"
"He was so mean to me…he didn't trust me…" she cried into the wind.
"It's difficult to trust anyone when you've grown up around such torment and hatred," her mother said pointedly.
"I know that, but have I not proven that I am trustworthy?"
"Like I said, it is difficult."
"I am so lost…" Hermione sobbed, her body trembling from the cold.
Professor Snape walked around the castle, his mind in turmoil as he searched for the young woman that had stolen his heart and whom he had hurt dearly. He was beginning to get frustrated until one of the portraits caught his attention.
"If you are looking for the young lady, she ran by here not too long ago. I dare say she was severely under dressed for this weather," the old man told him.
"Which way?" Severus asked. When the portrait pointed in the direction he went, Snape bolted and ran down the long corridor. He wondered what the portrait meant when he said that she was severely underdressed. Did she not have her cloak or a sweater on? It was freezing outside and in her condition it could be fatal for her.
He cursed himself again for not believing her. He couldn't believe that Ronald Weasely of all people had gotten the best of him. The young man had discovered his secret and flaunted it to the entire school and then was cunning enough to make everyone believe that it was Hermione who had done it. It was because of that, that the Dark Lord targeted her parents because like Harry Potter had said, hurting her would hurt him and he was right. Severus was ashamed that his association with her had led to the deaths of her parents and he had alienated her when she had needed him most. He had never been more disgusted with himself until then.
Severus wrapped his cloak around himself tighter and huffed, his breath coming out in a white mist from the cold. Growing frustrated, he looked out to the grounds in despair, scanning the area as the wind whipped his cloak around violently. His eyes then narrowed on the ground.
"No…" he whispered. There in the snow was what remained of small footprints which were quickly being swept away by the fresh snow falling to the ground. His eyes widened and he quickly stepped out into the cold and followed the footsteps the best he could.
Hermione felt herself begin to lose feeling in her body and her teeth were chattering uncontrollably, her lips were blue, and she could hardly feel the tears freezing on her face. She didn't know what to do anymore. The more she stood there and thought of the terrible things that had happened to her the more inclined she was to jump.
"Tell me what to do, mum," she sobbed.
Severus found himself running towards the Astronomy tower, a sinking feeling in his gut. Quickly, he made his way up the stairs, feeling his heart beating wildly in his chest. She wouldn't do something stupid, would she? He made it to the top of the stairs and gasped as he saw the young Gryffindor seemingly give up and lean further over the edge.
"HERMIONE!"
