I opened my eyes, glad for the first time in my life to see the familiar stone ceiling of the tower above me. "Thank the Maker," I sighed, looking around. "Is everyone all right?" They were all starting to sit up as well, looking no worse for the wear. Injuries in the fade weren't real injuries since your real body wasn't there. They went away when you woke. The only time they were a problem was if you were killed in the fade; that was just as fatal as being killed outside it.

Which would be exactly why Niall's body remained lying still on the floor. The demon had been drawing his power off Niall's life, using him to create the worlds we had all been trapped in. By the time I managed to defeat all the minor demons and our group took down the sloth demon it was too late to save him. I tried to argue that we could try but really, deep down I knew he was right. All I could do was hold his hand, reassuring him that his mother would be proud, until his spirit faded away.

I was first to my feet. Before anyone else was up Alistair grabbed me by the arm, dragging me into an empty room. Shouting "Warden business" over his shoulder he gave me a murderous glare. Dane slipped in after us, just before he slammed the door closed.

"What was that?" Alistair demanded. Dane planted himself at my feet protectively. He made an unhappy whimper. But then, if it was anyone but Alistair yelling at me he would be growling and bearing his teeth by now.

"You know exactly what it was," I replied, refusing to yell.

"Are you insane?" he said, still yelling. "How long has this been going on? Is this just the first time I've caught you?"

"It's the first time I've actually used the spell," I said. "I just learned it."

His eyes narrowed. "Jowan."

"Yes," I agreed.

"You bitch!" he screamed. I took a step back. Alistair looked like he wanted to hit me or, well, much worse. "I felt bad for you. I thought you wanted to say goodbye to him in private. Everyone else questioned why we were waiting for over an hour, but I defended you. 'He's the closest thing she has to family,'" I said. "Looks like I was the fool. You just sent us away so… what? He could teach you to use blood magic?"

"No!" I said quickly before realizing he was at least partially right. "Well, that wasn't all of it," I said. "I did want to say goodbye to him. I'll probably never see him again."

"Oh, so you made sure to use those last moments to become a maleficar, then? Fantastic. The darkspawn and Loghain aren't quite exciting enough for you? We need every templar in Ferelden trying to kill us, too?" He was glaring at me, but thankfully not yelling.

"Screw the templars. I'm not a Circle mage, I'm a Grey Warden and you know damn well it's allowed. What, are you my commanding officer now? Are we rewriting our rules to suit the Chantry?" I ran a hand through my hair. "Damn it, Alistair, would you rather we all be dead? Zevran was bleeding so much I was amazed he could stand, Wynne and Leliana were unconscious, you got picked up and thrown and no one's neck should ever be at that angle, and I was choking to death on my own blood, I could barely even get the spell out since I couldn't breathe, and I was too damn tired to cast any more spells the normal way. You know what happens if you die in the Fade? You die! We had to end that fight or we would never have made it back."

"Maker's breath," he groaned, putting his face in his hands. "Why would you want something like this? I won't argue it's allowed for you, but templars don't care. They find out and you're dead, Grey Warden or not." Alistair stared at me. "Look around you. This is all because of blood magic! Look at all the harm it's caused!"

"I refuse to believe that," I said. "I can't believe a spell has its own morality. People caused this destruction, not some mindless spell. A spell can't force someone to cast it, it can't force them to turn it on another person. Those decisions were all made by people. A spell just exists, it doesn't think. I have morals, and I'm using the spells for good, not evil." I sighed, leaning against the wall. "Really, by blaming the spells you're just removing the responsibility from Uldred here.

"How can you ever think good will come of this?" he said, shaking his head. "It's… it's evil. Maggie, you could end up damned. I'm not what anyone would call religious, but even I'd be worried about that. 'They shall find no rest in this world or beyond.' I'm sure you've heard that as many times as I have. Why aren't you the least bit concerned?"

"Because I want to win," I snapped. "I want to win, and I want to live. I want all of us to live!" I tugged at my hair, wishing I could somehow just dump out my thoughts so Alistair understood. Words were proving fairly inadequate for the task. "And if it costs me my soul to make sure that happens, well… I'll worry about that later. Right now I'm more concerned with keeping myself alive long enough to actually make it to face the archdemon, since at the rate we're going it won't happen otherwise." I leaned against the wall and slid down it. "Look around, Alistair. They were all so damned helpless. They were just… slaughtered. Like animals, or worse. Once we run out of energy… without lyrium…" I suppressed a sob, my reaction to the entire day threatening to pour out of me. "I don't want to end up like them, and I've come close to that so many times. I'm no warrior. I can't use a sword, I can't even throw a decent punch. But I get too much lyrium in me and I suddenly seem to think I can run right at some giant monster like I was actually wearing armor. Magic is all I have. I'm always so terrified of what will happen when I just can't go on in a fight. I will not die just because I was tired!"

"Hey, hey," Alistair said, kneeling by me. "Don't cry, since if you start I'll start, and then Dane will start, and then everyone will come look and there goes our reputation. And really, it's not in the best of shape as it is these days." I managed a smile at that. "Look, I'm not happy about this, but… I shouldn't have yelled at you, not after everything you've been through today. And I really can't argue with your reasoning. I still wince when I think about the way you got addled and charged the broodmother." He sighed, putting a hand on my shoulder and meeting my gaze. "It's not about me being a templar, I swear it. It's not the Chantry rules I care about, it's what could happen to you. I'm scared you'll end up like Connor. I know you think I'm exaggerating the danger, but it can't be pure coincidence that most maleficar end up becoming possessed. And… I'm bothered that you didn't tell me. We're supposed to be working together." He made a sad face. "I thought we were friends."

"I am going to kill you," I said to him. "We're really going to play the Why-didn't-you-tell-me-I-thought-we-were-friends game? Since I think I'll win, Your Royal Highness." I rolled my eyes. "I kept this from you for a couple days, how long were we friends before you let that little secret free?"

"Ouch," he said, rubbing the back of his neck. "I… suppose you may have a point."

"Oh, you think?" I made a face at him. "Now quit with the puppy-dog look, I'm not Leliana, that shit won't work on me. Like I can't tell you're just trying to guilt me now."

Alistair offered me a hand and pulled me back onto my feet. "You are so wrong, it always works on you. Didn't you notice you ended up making breakfast on my day and Zevran's day last week?"

"Oh, now I'm really going to kill you," I said.

"I'm sure you will," he said. "Come on, we can talk about this another day. I shouldn't have even brought it up now. I was just…"

"Angry? Enraged? Furious?"

"Let's go with enraged," he said. "But the moment has passed. Now I'm… more 'vaguely uncomfortable' and 'slightly hungry.' But we still have to kill Uldred, save the First Enchanter, and redeem your good name in the eyes of the Circle before we can eat."

I snorted. "My name has never been good."

"Why am I not surprised by that," Alistair mused.

"Because we didn't just meet this morning?"

"Riiiight," he said, grinning and messing up my hair as we left the room to rejoin the others.

After grabbing a spell from Niall's pocket that would be able to counteract any attempts at mind control, and trying to at least fold his hands on his chest and close his eyes so he didn't look quite so gruesome, we pressed on.

"How did this happen?" I said not long after. "Where did these even come from? Seriously, did Uldred will them into being?" I chewed a fingernail. "Is that possible? Can a maleficar will something into being?" That would certainly solve our 'never enough money for food or supplies' problem if I could just magic us up a nice deer. "Did he bring them with him to set free in the tower? Could he smuggle in almost half a dozen drakes without anyone noticing?" I looked around at the bodies of smaller male counterpart of dragons, which still meant they were twice the size of my two hundred pound dog, and shook my head in absolute bafflement.

"Perhaps they were in the cavern storerooms under the tower?" Wynne suggested.

"No," I said. "The door was still locked, I tried to get in for lyrium when we went past. Also blocked by, um, a large number of corpses. I think some people hoped to hide in there."

"So… I take it the tower was not always crawling with drakes?" Zevran looked up from where he was skinning one of them. Their scales were, apparently, extremely valuable for armor.

"You don't think I would remember something like that?"

"Ah, you know how the mind is. Memories fade with time… we forget the stain on our clothing, the hair out of place, the bad joke someone made, the drakes roaming the halls…"

I snorted with laughter and helped him to his feet.

"Well, nothing we can do about it," Alistair said. "Asking him 'where did the drakes come from' isn't on my list of what we should do when we finally find Uldred." I nodded and walked on.

"There's someone alive in here!" Leliana called. I ran ahead, skidding to a halt.

"Cullen?" I said, seeing the templar kneeling in some kind of force field.

"It may be a trap," Zevran said.

"We have to go this way," I said. "There's nowhere else besides the Harrowing Chamber."

He looked up as I walked in. "This trick again?"

"Trick?"

"I know what you are," he said. "It won't work!"

He wasn't making much sense. "Don't you recognize me?"

"Only too well," he snapped. "Filthy blood mages, sifting through my thoughts… tempting me with the one thing I always wanted and could never have."

"Um… should I be hearing this?" I said, stepping back. Maybe he couldn't see through the force field from his side?

"Someone was quite the heartbreaker as an apprentice," Zevran said, poking me in the back.

Cullen was muttering something about his 'ill-advised infatuation' with a mage. The way he said mage made my skin crawl.

"Begone!" he said, raising a hand. I felt my shield spell flicker and dissipate. I recast it and looked at him in confusion.

"Cullen, we're real," I said.

Once he managed to accept that I listened with horror as he demanded we go into the Harrowing Chamber and simply kill everyone. I finally gave up. "Just… wait here," I said to him, not wanting to continue the 'discussion.' He wouldn't have been happy unless I agreed to rampant slaughter, and even thinking about it made me feel sick.

"As though I had a choice," he snapped. "Maker-turn-his-gaze-on-you," he rattled off quickly, sounding not in the least bit sincere. "I hope your compassion hasn't doomed us all." Hm, now that part did sound sincere.

Climbing the steps to the harrowing chamber, I shoved the heavy door open, Alistair reaching over my head to help me. I could see the First Enchanter lying on the ground, obviously in pain, and several others around him. As I watched, Uldred did... something to one of them. Horrified, we stared as the mage screamed in pain, distorting wildly into an abomination.

"Maker's breath," Alistair gasped. That got Uldred's attention. Or, more specifically, the attention of the demon currently inhabiting his body. Great. He wasn't a blood mage anymore, he was an abomination. Well that would certainly make things more exciting. Unfortunately not in a fun way, either. And just give Alistair more fuel for his 'you'll become an abomination' fire.

"Oh look," he said. "Irving's star pupil. Uldred didn't think much of you then, and I certainly can't see the appeal now."

"Your loss," I shrugged.

"Yes, so the graffiti in the men's dorm would imply," he said. Dane growled at him.

"Oh, very clever," I said, rolling my eyes. "That's the best you can do? That means you're just as clever as the girl who bunked across from me that failed basic entropy three times. Impressive."

"You're right," he said. "That was rude of me. We don't need to be enemies." I raised an eyebrow. Was he really expecting me to fall for this? "I can't help but imagine what you will be able to do when we combine the power of a demon with your raw potential. You have so much in common with Uldred, after all."

I narrowed my eyes, stepping back. I couldn't help but notice Wynne staring at me. "I'm nothing like him," I snapped, attacking before he could say anything else. Thankfully the others followed my lead, pausing only as he roared, taking on the form of a pride demon.

"Wow," Alistair muttered. "That's…"

"Really, really big," I finished.

"Everything can die," Zevran said, darting past us with both blades drawn. "Just a matter of finding the weak spot." He laughed, and I heard the demon howl as Zevran's assassin training guided him to a tendon.

Alternating between reading the litany whenever Uldred attempted to turn more of the mages into abominations and keeping him immobilized with ice, stone, even the occasional crushing prison spell, I did the best I could to stay out of reach of the demon and his minions.

One managed to throw me to the ground. I made a sound of relief as Dane leapt towards me, knocking the demon away so I could recover my footing.

Although it took a long time, and Wynne was kept busy running between each of us to cast healing spells almost nonstop, we finally managed to kill him. Helping the First Enchanter down the stairs, I listened to him complain about the circle being housed in a tower the entire time.

I was relieved to see more survivors in the lower hall. The blood mage looked at me and nodded. I returned the gesture. Maybe people heard us pass through and came downstairs when we had already left? In either case, it was welcome. "How many are with the Templars?" First Enchanter Irving asked me.

"None," I said quickly.

"Pardon?"

"None," I repeated. "They only saved themselves. And the Templars who tried to save others were locked in here to die with everyone else."

"I'm sure it's not as bad as you make it sound," he said.

"Five of us and a dog were able to take care of it. There are more than twenty Templars out there who claimed it was too much for them to handle." Cullen, whose prison had vanished with the death of Uldred, made a noise of protest. I turned to stare at him. "They left you to die, too."

He didn't say anything else to me, but I could hear him muttering under his breath. "I would watch my words, were I you," Zevran said in a cold voice. Whatever Cullen had been muttering ceased, I looked back in time to see him giving Zevran a wary glance.

Alistair pounded on the large front doors. "Open up," he shouted. "The First Enchanter is with us."

They swung open, and I saw the Knight-Commander's shocked face on the other side. "Told you," I muttered, helping the old mage to a chair.

Once Irving had sat down I kneeled, checking on Dane. He whimpered nervously, looking back at the doors. "Don't worry, we're leaving soon," I promised him. "You've been very brave." I dug a treat from my pack, listening to Irving and Greagoir talk with one ear. After reassuring Dane that he was the absolute bravest dog to ever live and giving him his treat I stood up, wiping dog slobber off my face with a sleeve.

"They could have demons in them, lying in wait," Cullen was saying to the Knight-Commander.

"Are you kidding me," I snapped. "You wanted me to kill everyone without even going in the room. When did you get so bloodthirsty, Cullen? This isn't like you!"

"I used to think we were too hard on you," he said. "I know better now. Only mages have this kind of power, only mages are so weak in the face of a demon's promises."

"I think you mispronounced thank you for saving my life," I sneered. He gave me a dirty look right back.

Greagoir looked appalled, all but telling him to shut up. Announcing he was satisfied that order had been restored, he began issuing orders to his men to start sweeps of the tower for survivors and any demons we might have missed the first time through.

After getting the First Enchanter's promise of aid against the archdemon, I asked him about the boy in Redcliffe.

"So… you mean to confront the demon in the Fade?" he said.

"Hopefully," I told him. "It may be a wasted trip, though." Wynne was standing very close to us, obviously interested in the conversation, but I dropped my voice so Alistair and Leliana couldn't hear. "Half of our group remained behind. If the demon gets out of control again…" I sighed. "They know what they have to do. He could have killed everyone in that town. No one life is worth a whole village."

The First Enchanter nodded. "That was the smart decision. I don't see why we shouldn't at least try, though. Perhaps we can even bring the lad back with us immediately, depending on his health after the ordeal. The Circle needs new blood, now more than ever."

I didn't respond. I hated condemning that little boy to a life here, but it was better than simply being killed.

"Are we all ready?" I asked the others. They nodded in agreement.

"Before you go, there is something I must bring up," Wynne said. I stared, waiting for her to go on. "Some of the spells you used… they're unfamiliar. Disturbing and powerful, and not taught by the Circle. Where did you learn them?"

I froze. I could hear Alistair's chainmail clicking together as he stepped closer to me. "From… the Grey Wardens," I said quickly.

"There is only ever one mage Warden at any time, and that is you. So who taught the spells to you?"

The First Enchanter replied before I could, which was great since I hadn't the faintest idea what I would say. "The Wardens have many books reserved for themselves alone," he said. "They include all the wisdom of Wardens past and present, among them the mages."

"You're not kidding," Alistair spoke up from behind me. "I swear, half the Denerim library was nothing but dusty old spellbooks none of us could even read. We used to joke that Duncan would never notice if we replaced them all with Navarran romance novels…" he drifted off, sounding more miserable with every word. I turned around to make sure he was ok and Alistair met my eyes briefly. I was almost sure he… winked. Before giving a loud, dramatic sniffle. I put my hand on his shoulder and, a moment later, Alistair quickly looked past me before saying. "I'm sorry… I'm fine now."

Turning back to the First Enchanter and Knight Commander I said "Duncan was at Ostagar… he…"

"Of course," Irving said quickly, giving us both a sympathetic look.

"The Grey Wardens methods may be questionable," Greagoir said finally. "But I must believe that their intentions and goals are, ultimately, good."

I relaxed, feeling my heart return to my chest from the spot just behind my teeth it had jumped to. Wynne said something in apology which seemed fairly hollow considering she could have gotten me killed, and then all but announced she would be joining us. Not just that she would be joining us, but that she would be joining us because I was "brave and good and capable of great things." What? Funny, she didn't seem to think that when she just accused me of being a maleficar in front of the head of the templars not thirty seconds ago. The four of us turned to stare at her in shock, she didn't seem to notice.

One thing kept me from strangling her right there.

Wynne was a healer. One of the best healers in Ferelden.

"Fine," I said through clenched teeth.

She walked ahead of our group as we left. "You owe me," Alistair said.

"I know."

"No, I mean it," he said. "You should… wash my socks."

"Fine," I said.

He stopped and looked at me. "Fine?"

I shrugged. "You saved my ass back there. I had no idea what to say. So yeah, I owe you." I looked up at him. "I thought she was unconscious. She certainly wasn't doing anything to heal any of us. I wouldn't have done anything if I knew Wynne could see me!"

"Honestly?" Alistair said. "All your spells have been a bit off today. I noticed something earlier. Not… wrong, just different, and they do seem a bit more powerful. So maybe it changes more than you realized." He sighed. "And you know we wouldn't have let them kill you. I'm mad at you, but you're still my friend. Besides, I'm not going through this as the only Grey Warden in Ferelden. It's bad enough with twice that many!"

"You know," Zevran said. "I thought she was a horrible liar. You are even worse, Alistair. I don't know how any of them believed a word either of you said, stumbling and red faced as you were."

"Yeah, well, let's not question our good luck," Alistair said. "And you knew about her… new hobby?"

"I don't think hobby is the right word," I said.

"Well, whatever. You know what I mean."

Zevran snorted. "I could tell the moment she returned from the dungeon. As I said, she was the worst liar I'd ever seen… until I saw your attempts at deception." He paused. "I've often heard of the honor of your order. Perhaps that is simply because you are all too inept at falsehood to manage anything else?"

"Ha ha," Alistair said to him before looking back at me. "I'm really hurt now. You told him and not me?"

"I didn't tell him," I said. "He figured it out on his own."

"Is it really such a terrible thing?" Zevran asked. "Compared to the alternative we faced today... it seems rather reasonable to me."

Alistair sighed. We were standing on the shore. Wynne was chatting with the templar at the dock while we waited for the boat to arrive from the other side. They kept it docked on the far side all the time now, apparently someone stole it once in an escape attempt and rowed themselves all the way to Redcliffe.

"I just don't like it," Alistair said.

"There's no going back now," I replied.

"I am well aware of that," he said drily. "Have I ever mentioned I was training to be a templar for oh… eight years?"

"Were you now?"

"I'm being serious," he said.

I sighed. "I know. I just… I really don't want to talk about this now. I want to crawl into my tent and cry."

"Sorry," he said. "I'll drop it for now." Alistair squeezed my shoulder before walking off to check on the boat. I sat in the grass and Dane put his head in my lap. Scratching behind his ears I started chattering away at him mindlessly. Calling him a good dog, making funny noises so he would wag his tail… I had no idea why, but whenever he sat with me I couldn't help it.

Zevran sat next to me, looking over with obvious amusement. "What?"

"Nothing," he replied.

"And you say I'm a bad liar?"

He laughed at that. "I am only amused watching someone call her warhound, which I saw take down an abomination with one snap of his jaws no less than two hours ago, 'the bestest bravest puppy in the whole world.'"

I giggled. "Wow, I suppose I do sound pretty dumb when I'm taking to Dane."

"No, no… not at all!" He chuckled. "I've never had a pet. Dogs in Antiva… they are not like dogs here in Ferelden." Dane made a noise and Zevran nodded. "No, very true. In Antiva dogs run through the streets eating trash. Not like here. You're very lucky," he told Dane. Dane barked in response. "But, you still smell like a dog. Actually, you smell like several dogs." Another bark. "Yes, yes, huzzah," Zevran deadpanned, petting my dog.

Dane made a snorting noise at Zevran.

"So… why is she coming with us? I thought I was the only person who tried to kill you that was accepted into this merry band. I'm not feeling very special now."

"She's a healer," I said.

"That's it?"

"That's it. You think I trust her? She let Brennan die, she accused me of being a maleficar in front of the Knight-Commander…" I made a face.

"Well technically you a—"

"I know!" I said. "Don't say it out loud. I swear, the walls have ears in this place."

"They would have killed you?"

"Without hesitation."

"You could fight. We were all prepared to. Alistair had his hand on his sword the moment the old bat spoke."

I shook my head. "I could try. But one mage in a room full of Templars? The only chance I'd have would be a spell so big it would kill all of us at the same time. I'd be useless and powerless in seconds."

"The rest of us don't have that worry," he reminded me.

Finally the boat arrived. Zevran and I took one bench, Alistair and Wynne another, and Leliana sat with Carroll, distracting him with stories so he wouldn't give us a hard time.

"You are glaring at me," Wynne finally said.

"Oh, you noticed?" Zevran snickered next to me, Alistair shifted uncomfortably in his seat. "You could have gotten me killed. I think I've got every right to glare."

"You know the penalty for blood magic, it is—"

I cut her off. "No, let me rephrase. You could have gotten one of the two living Grey Wardens in Ferelden killed in the middle of a damned Blight. Which would have actually meant killing every single Warden since you must realize we would stand together. So… the penalty for blood magic is what? The damnation of an entire country? Allowing the archdemon to lay waste to Denerim? Letting the darkspawn drag off all the women of Ferelden to be raped and corrupted into broodmothers? Since that seems… oh, I don't know, pretty damned excessive if you ask me."

"So you are?" she gasped, moving back.

"Did I say that?" I asked her. "I didn't say that at all. I simply told you what would have been the result of your accusation if they had believed you instead of me." Of course, I didn't tell her I wasn't, either.

Zevran snickered next to me. I looked over at him. "My dear Warden, you're being quite irrational."

"Thank you," Wynne said to him.

He smiled cheerfully. "You and I both know, should they have tried to attack you, we would still be on this boat. There would simply be more corpses left in our wake."


In game, voiced and everything, is a scene where Wynne will accuse you of being a blood mage at the end of the Circle Tower quest (well, if you have that specialization), even if you never used those spells while in the tower. But they took it out since, unless you had medium persuasion, everyone there will attack and you get neither mages nor templars for the final battle. There's an add on to the dialogue tweaks mod that puts it back in, though. Or you can see it in her dialogue tree of the toolset.
Sorry for the delay on the update. The Massively Huge Drama that was AOA's last couple chapters has been monopolizing my muse's time.
Thanks so much to everyone who reads and reviews!