Chapter 29

The Proof is in the Proving

The magic washed over him in a warm soothing wave. It felt like he was wrapped in a soft blanket, a babe in his mother's arms. His head cleared the shakes that had been the bane of his existence ceased. Maker help him, he felt like he could stay in this state forever. It was euphoric.

Then it was gone.

In the magic's absence the craving began anew, it was not as sharp or intense as it had been previously. His body wanted more, it demanded lyrium. Yet, he felt strong enough now to resist that desire. His need for lyrium was a weakness, and he intended to master it, regardless of the pain.

Bradley opened his eyes regarding Bethany as she removed her hands from his temples. She seemed better today, stronger. She assured him that the spell she used did not tax her overmuch, still he was concerned, and he did not want her to suffer needlessly over him.

"How are you feeling?" she asked him, sinking into a plush arm chair.

"Better," he answered, and surprisingly it was not a lie, "my head is clearer than it has been in days. The sweating and shakes are almost gone too. I…I don't know how to thank you."

She gave him a tired smile.

The Proving was today. Justin had said he wanted their little group visible for all of Orzammar to see. Their need to convince the dwarves of the righteousness of their cause was too important.

Seemed like a lot of trouble just to mingle with a bunch of pampered nobles, Bradley thought.

Still one did what one must.

"I'm curious Mistress Bethany," the mage regarded the Templar with a raised eyebrow, "the spell that you are using to help me. Did you learn that in the Circle?"

Bethany nodded.

"One of the Lucrosians came up with it, about five years ago," she admitted with a sad sigh, "He had hoped to create an alternative to lyrium for the Templars, to make our relationship with your order more…symbiotic, he had claimed that this spell could save the chantry much in the way of coin. He presented it to the Knight-Commander a few days later."

Bradley's brow furrowed in confusion, he had never heard of this, "What happened?"

Bethany pursed her lips.

"He was found dead. Apparently he slipped going down the stairs to the enchanters quarters, broke his neck poor man." The bitterness in her voice to him what she thought had happened to the unfortunate mage, "he left a copy of the spell with the head of the loyalist fraternity, my mentor Tobrius. He taught it to me, I taught it to a few others, just in case."

Bradley shuddered. He knew how ruthless Meredith could be. The thought of Templars becoming dependent on anything a mage could offer would have fueled her paranoia. Did she have the Lucrosian killed? Possibly. It was ironic that a spell the knight-commander rejected was now being used to help bring down her successor.

"Would you be willing to present this discovery to the Divine? Her perfection may find it very interesting."

Bethany gave the Templar a bitter chuckle, "I'm sure that she would love anything that might loosen her grip on the Templars messere," her face then turned thoughtful, "plus, there is the matter that I am an Apostate, an annulled mage who should be dead. I would be lucky to leave the Divine's presence alive. Of course all this is moot, it is far more likely that we will all die trying to stop Delance."

"We will stop him," Bradley assured her, "the Maker will aid us I'm sure of it."

Bethany sighed; she wished she still had that kind of faith. She had told Mari in the Gallows that she had come to accept that her magic was a gift of the Maker. She had meant those words, but after seeing the thing that Orsino had changed into, and then seeing Meredith's mad fury first hand she was no longer certain.

The door opened, Serene came in, an excited Milady in tow. The Mabari bounced happily before her mistress, Bethany scratched the pup behind the ears.

"How are you feeling handsome?" the bard asked shyly.

"Much better," the young man grinned, "Would you like to check?"

I…I will take your word for it," the elf said dismissively, moving away from him, ignoring the hurt look on his face, "We leave for the proving in the hour. Justin wants us all to be ready."

The elf left without another word. Bradley gave Bethany a confused look.

"Mistress…have I done something wrong?" she could tell his feelings were hurt. Serene had pursued him for over a month, now she backed away, "She barely looks at me now."

Bethany knew it was none of her business, but she knew she had to try. Bradley had saved her life once, she owed him.

"I will talk to her," she said rising from the chair, motioning for the dog to follow, "It has been a long time since I have engaged in any…girl talk."

"Thank you Bethany." The Templar said with a short bow.

Nodding she followed the elf into the hallway; this would be an interesting conversation.

IOI

A string of Orlesian curses sprang from the elf's mouth as she muttered under her breath. Maker help her that had been stupid. If she was going to end things with Bradley she should do it swiftly, less pain for either of them that way…

…but she couldn't.

"Serene?"

Bethany's voice stopped her in her tracks. Of all the people in their little group she found it easiest to talk to the mage. Every time she had tried to talk to Merrill the Dalish had ended up rambling on about nothing, and Serene ended up fleeing, but with Bethany…she could talk with Bethany.

"Are you all right?"

The bard almost laughed at that…no she was not all right.

She turned to the mage, putting on her best false smile, "Never Bettair," she said, "why?"

"Bradley is worried about you. He said you have been avoiding him outside, of normal business."

"Eet is bettair for heem," damn it her accent was out of control, anyone could tell she was upset. She had used to be able to control her emotions better, but that was before the joining…

…the joining.

Even thinking about that night now made her want to weep. Andraste have mercy, what had the wardens done to her, what had she done to herself?

"Serene," Bethany looked at the elf with a look of pure concern and friendship, "if you want to talk, please feel free."

She wanted to leave. She wanted to tell the mage to mind her own business. She wanted to…

She wanted to talk.

"Bradley, he deserves bettair than I," she said fighting back hot angry tears, "I…I am a monster."

"Serene, you're not a monster. You have had a difficult time, but."

"I am a monster," she cried angrily, "Maker help me Bethany, I…I don't feel elven anymore. I have more in common with zee darkspawn. I…I hear them in my sleep. The taint eet…it is changing me. Bradley does not want to be a part of zis."

Bethany wasn't sure how to comfort the elf. True, she did not understand everything about being a grey warden, but Anders had assured her that whatever the warden went through to become what they were did not change who they were at heart, the taint did not make them monsters.

Anders had had Justice to do that.

"And even eef…if that did not bother him," the bard continued, "what I have done before. It never bothered me… I accepted who I was, people, friends, lov…lovers they were toys, it was all a game you see. After I have played for so long, I don't know how to be honest with a man, I don't even know where to begin."

Bethany found herself remembering her Mother's words; it had been right when Marian had first started to pursue things with Anders. She had found herself wondering if she could truly stay with him, knowing he was an abomination. It was her Mother's advice to Marian that she repeated now.

"If you truly care for him then you should let him be a part of this decision as well. Giving your heart to someone is hard, but it is worth it. So, go to him, tell him your fears, let him tell you his, and if you realize that it is not going to work end it, but if there is a chance, don't run away from it."

The elf considered her words her ears twitching nervously.

"I…I will try tonight," the elf said with a shy smile, hope shining in her red eyes "I shall put my cards on the table, and see how they fall."

Bethany tried not to look pleased, one way or another, the two would have the answer they sought.

"Thank you Bethany, it will be good to see this through." The Bard left then, leaves Bethany to ready herself for the proving. That had been difficult; hopefully convincing a King to aid them would be easier.

IOI

The proving arena was packed.

Dwarves of all castes flooded the stands, ready to cheer for their champions. Anticipation was high; the scent of blood it seemed had driven the crowd into frenzy.

Justin and company headed for the box reserved for the Grey Wardens. The dwarves whispered while they passed, many of the fight fans had seen wardens in combat before, some of them wished that they would see them again today.

Bethany gave Justin a concerned look, "They don't actually kill people in these fights do they?"

"Sometimes," Justin said with a shrug, "death matches are uncommon, but not taboo. The dwarves usually save them to settle disputes between noble houses, but sometimes the warriors may request one if there is a large enough grudge."

"There is a lot of love in this chamber," Wren said sarcastically, "I can feel it, it is a beautiful thing."

"Love of carnage maybe," Bethany said shooting the healer a disapproving look.

The Orlesian wardens had already found their seats by the time the group had arrived. The warden knight Leonie rose and embraced Justin as they entered, Bethany felt a surge of dislike as she regarded the woman, did she have to touch Justin every time they were in the same room?

The mage settled down between Merrill and Bradley. Justin excused himself saying he wanted to try to catch the King before the first bout.

Bethany had never seen so many people crammed into such a small place before, true the proving arena was huge, but the dwarves had filled it to capacity. The crowd was eager, excitement galvanized the crowd, they wanted to see blood.

Bethany fidgeted in her seat; she was uncomfortable with such violence.

"I wonder if we will see any death matches today," Wren said hungrily.

"Would that please you serah?" Bradley asked with a disdainful glare.

"Death is part of life Templar," Wren shrugged, "I'm just curious how far the dwarves are intending to go to…honor our warden friends."

Bethany wondered that herself, she was uncomfortable with the fact that dwarves may lose their lives simply to entertain.

A loud bell sounded in the arena, the crowd quieted as the proving master stepped up to the dais,

"This is a glory proving, fought under the gaze of the paragons of Orzammar to honor our city's greatest allies, the famed Grey Wardens!"

The crowd erupted. All eyes fell on the warden box, every warden their rose and bowed to the cheering throng.

Bethany sank further down in her chair, force of habit of being an apostate on the run, not wanting to draw attention to herself.

Maker where was Justin?

The first fighter was announced, a dwarven woman from the order of the silent sisters. Bethany had heard of the orders fighting prowess, she was curious to see if it was true. She wondered which brave warrior would face her.

"Challenging her," the proving master announced, "A member of the famed Grey Wardens…"

Bethany's eyes widened.

"…Ladies and gentleman, may I present Justin of the Grey Wardens!"

"What!" Wren sputtered his eyes wide.

Of all the stupid, irresponsible…

Bethany was furious, what in the name of Andraste did Justin think he was doing.

Do as the dwarves do. That had been her advice; Bethany had never assumed that Justin would take it so literally.

"I should get down there," Wren rose quickly, anticipating that his friend might need his services before too long. Bethany followed her brown eyes bright with fury.

Maker help you Justin, she thought angrily, if one of the dwarves don't kill you I just might.

She prayed that he would be alright, but that did not stop her from fantasizing about strangling him.

Brave, stupid man that he was.