Began chapter: June 22, 2012
Posted: June 25, 2012
Rating: This entire fanfiction is rated K+
Other notes: This is officially the last chapter-chapter of The Passionflower. I say that because it has an epilogue left. Totally not a legit chapter. It turns out that this story ended up a lot shorter than I'd expected, because my chapter outlines were totally not right and I just…ugh.
Well, the content is still the same, it's just reduced to less chapters. Even if it had gone to Chapter 30, you guys wouldn't have gotten anymore content than you already have. XD
Be sure to read, enjoy, review, and share, okie-doke? :)
Chapter Twenty-Seven
"Come on, you stupid head," whispered Alfie, pressing her cold palms together and leaning forward so that she was closer to the television screen. As she watched, her eyes grew increasingly rounder. "To the left…no! Not to the right, my goodness. Now, use your Sludge Bomb! Oh, of course you would miss. Argh! Stupid Ghost-boy!"
Ethan, from the spot on the couch next to her, gave her a strange look. "Gosh, Alfie, I can't even focus on the battle with you trying to be the announcer next to me," he said. His brows creased at the center. "It sounds like you know more about Pokemon battling than I thought you did. Maybe they should hire you to televise this or something."
Alfie was barely listening to him. How could she, after all, while she was watching the televised battle between Lyra and the Pokemon Champion Lance? The moment that she'd seen the dragons appear on the screen, she had adopted the new habits of biting her nails and bouncing up and down on the couch.
So far, the battle was a close tie. Etoile had almost been knocked out by an unexpected Thunder, coming from one of Lance's Dragonites. Even though Alfie knew that Etoile also, very unexpectedly, had the power of lightning up her sleeve, the dragon had been much faster than she. Ever went against the Aerodactyl (which, Alfie thought, wasn't very smart of Lyra in the first place) and lost, so it was only Epsilon, Feilong, and Yami left in the game.
At that moment, it was Yami against the Charizard, whose powers of fire and flight were putting up a difficult match. The fire-type Pokemon was one of the only remainders, next to another Dragonite. The battle was long and difficult, even when Alfie was only watching. And still, she wished she could have been there, pushing herself to blood, sweat, and tears.
"Use your Shadow Ball! What, no!" Alfie wrung her hair and screamed into a pillow in protest, and then she slumped forward and began to complain, "That Charizard is totally cheating! He knows that Yami can't float that high. He's staying out of his reach. Just like that stupid Pidgeotto during that battle with Falkner! Agh!"
Ethan gave her another look, nibbling his popcorn. "How would you know that? You haven't stepped foot into a Pokemon gym in your life."
"I, uh…" Alfie searched her head for an explanation, temporarily detached from the television. "Lyra told me all about it when she, er, came back for Christmas. Told me that it was one of the most frustrating battles she'd had all year. That's how I know."
Ethan bought her explanation immediately. Of course he did, thought Alfie sourly. How could he not? It's not like he could ever suspect that I was actually one of the Pokemon watching that battle. She sighed and returned her attention to the fight, her face between her hands, and then she looked at the clock.
"I'm not even going to get to watch the whole thing!" she wailed, realizing she had to be at school in ten minutes. She gave another loud groan of frustration, and then she pushed herself from the couch and went to retrieve her bag. Just before she left the house, she looked pointedly at Ethan and said, "You can stay here as long as you don't eat all my food. Oh, and be sure to tell me everything when I get home."
Ethan grinned and leaned back, his hands behind his head. He teased, "You're going to leave me here to starve? At least you get some cafeteria food. Your parents aren't even home today. How am I supposed to feed myself?"
"I'm not the one who got lucky and got some internship with the Professor," grumbled Alfie, walking out the front door and shutting it loudly behind her. Before she leapt from the porch and onto the earth, she straightened her bag and tidied her hair. As she ran off towards the school, she added to herself, "And I'm not the one who's traveling across the land with my Pokemon."
Even though I should have been, she thought as she sprinted. I should have been in that battle. I should have been the one on television, supporting my friends and battling for my trainer.
Lyra had not replaced her, so Alfie had noticed. There were only five members on the team, just like it had been before her transformation. Lyra had ended up losing at the third Elite Four member, so she had disappeared from the radar for some time to do some training. And then, out of nowhere, Alfie had seen her on the television, going for the championship a second time.
Hopefully, she would win this battle and become the Pokemon Champion, and then she could finally come home to New Bark Town. Even though Alfie had settled into life as a human again, she so desperately wanted to at least speak once with Epsilon. And if that opportunity never came, she would be happy to just see them happy.
As she arrived at the school, she thought, Seeing them happy. Would I be fine with that? Would I be fine, watching them enjoy life without me?
Then again, those thoughts were based on speculation only. She had put two and two together, and through her careful investigation with her therapist work, she learned that some of the attentive Pokemon remembered the girl who saved the overlord – her conversation with Dahlia provoked the detective work. Then again, she wasn't sure how history could have been rewritten in the human world if it wasn't in the Pokemon world.
Alfie had spent many sleepless nights, trying to figure it all out. She wondered how Arceus could have pulled that off. It just doesn't seem possible that history stayed the same in the Pokemon world but changed in the human world. It just…it's just not possible.
She was in the middle of a regular, school morning – crowded halls, yelling teenagers, scolding teachers. It seemed that she would have been thinking about everything else other than an unsolved mystery.
Lyra knows that I'm alive. But so do the Pokemon. It's not possible that I've been alive in both worlds this entire time. How can a person with one body accomplish things in both worlds simultaneously? Even for the overlord, that would be tough. Maybe I've really underestimated him.
The line "It's not possible" was becoming a part of her daily routine. Between exercising, schoolwork, and her job with Professor Elm, she had forced in time to mull everything over. And the worst part was that she had nobody to discuss it with. She couldn't just walk up to Ethan and tell him everything, and she couldn't just yell at the sky to call up Arceus.
She collapsed into her seat in her math class, burying her head beneath her arms. Too much to think about, she mentally whined. Her brain felt like it was going to short-circuit and explode. Either way, I'm going to look like a mental patient. Then Elm will have to get therapy for ME.
"Alright, everyone, remember that today we were going to be working on the assignment in class…"
Alfie, lost within her thoughts, vaguely remembered taking out her notebook and her pencils. She barely registered anything as she opened the textbook and began to diligently work, despite her mind being in other places. Every now and then, her thoughts would recognize a written word or two. And then, that was when someone's finger tapped her desk, and she met eyes with Henry.
"Hey, Allie, can I copy that?" he asked. He raised his eyebrows at her paper, which she thought was ridiculous, because it wasn't even finished yet. "I would it myself, but—"
"Yeah, yeah, you have a track meet after school," said Alfie, sounding bored. She looked back down at her paper, thoughtlessly pushing her curls behind her ear. "I've heard it all before. Let me guess, you have a science packet to finish too. What else do you have to do? Save the world from ultimate disaster?"
She might as well have slapped him in the face, because his expression couldn't have been more flabbergasted. All of the other girls sitting around him stared at her, as if they couldn't believe what she'd just dared to do. And Alfie, because she was feeling particular smart mouthed, went on very loudly, "Maybe you could meet up with Clair sometime. I'm sure she could help you with all of this, since you're such good friends and all."
There were whispers. What happened to HER over the summer…Whoa, she just verbally destroyed Henry…I never thought that she was that type…Well, the dude had it coming anyway…
At that moment, the bell rang. Alfie stood up and turned in her paper, not even looking at Henry as his eyes trailed it all the way to the finished works basket. She returned to her seat and picked up her backpack. Just before she walked out the door, she added, "By the way, it's Al-fie. Not Al-lie." And then she was gone.
"Lyra!"
"Alfie!"
Without further delay, the girly screams commenced and the bystanders on the street moved over to make room for the two girls that were rushing at one another, arms spread wide. The friends immediately embraced one another, bouncing up and down as their words began to overlap.
"Oh my goodness, I can't believe you won—"
"I know, I know! I'm so—"
"You're like the Pokemon Champion, and—"
"Eep! It's just unbelievable, I mean—"
Once they finally managed to settle down and allow the tentative (and very frightened) Ethan to join the group, everything was just the way it used to be – three friends together, as they had been since children. Even though they were standing in the middle of the street, they hardly bothered to pay any attention to the bicycles and the rare vehicle that would drive past them.
"Good job, Lyra," said Ethan, who was giving the mentioned girl his usual grin. He gave her a forceful pat on the back that nearly sent her to the pavement, and when she yelled at him in response, he winked at her and dodged her punch. "It just seems like this summer is full of surprises. You becoming the Champion, Alfie getting into Pokemon therapy…"
"What, what's that now? Pokemon therapy?" asked Lyra, smiling wide. Alfie's stomach began to ache when she saw her friend pulling at her pigtails the way she always did. When Alfie gave her a nod, Lyra waved her hands excitedly. "Oh my gosh, Alfie, that's great! I thought you would never get over your fear!"
"It's just something that I started doing in my free time," said Alfie, not wanting to draw any more attention to herself than she already had. She began walking towards the path to their twin homes. "Enough about me, though. What about you? Let's go home and make some cookies like we used to, and you can tell us all about it."
As Lyra launched into a full synopsis of her Pokemon adventure, Alfie's heart began to hammer fiercely at her chest. Everything that she's saying, I've been there for, and she doesn't even know it. Her eyes drifted to the five Pokéballs strapped to her waist, each warm with life and love that she wanted to have. They're all in there right now, so close but so far.
She felt so tempted to reach out and touch one of them, just so she could be close to them again. However, even though she had to exert more willpower than she thought, she managed to keep her hand steady at her side. If they're like all of the other Pokemon, they remember me. They know I'm here. They know the choice that I made.
"Hm, what was that?" she asked, looking up at the two others.
Lyra smiled, as if asking what she was going to do with her. "That's Alfie for you, always in another world," she said, more towards Ethan than anybody. Alfie thought it humorous how true that statement really was. "I was asking how your therapy work is going. What's all of that about? Do you rehabilitate abused Pokemon, or…?"
"No, not really," said Alfie, forcing her eyes from the Pokéballs. "It's more like a communication thing. Whenever they have something wrong with them, something that their trainers can't really understand, I'm like the translator. I talk to them, find out what's wrong, help them through it. That kind of stuff."
"Wow, that's amazing!" exclaimed Lyra, who looked genuinely happy. "If you can understand them unlike their trainers can, you must have some magical talent inside of you. That kind of gift doesn't come easily. You must have been born with it." She nudged Alfie. "See, I told you that you had something great in store for you."
"I guess you did."
Lyra's eyes lit up. "Hey, I have an idea." Alfie's heart leapt into her throat as Lyra reached for her Pokéballs, saying, "Since you're the supposed Pokemon whisperer slash translator and all, maybe you can tell me what my Pokemon are saying! Like if they're happy that we won or if they secretly hate my guts."
"Wait, it doesn't work like that—"
"You act like she's a fortune teller or something," said Ethan, rolling his eyes.
Lyra took out one of the Pokéballs on random, giving Ethan an expression that looked both sweet and scathing. "Oh, hush," she said. Without another moment's hesitation, she tossed the Pokéball into the air, her eyes following it as it fell to the ground. "Come on, this will be fun. Maybe she can do the same for yours too."
"But…" said Alfie weakly. "Maybe this isn't such a good idea…"
She watched helplessly as from the Pokéball formed a blue-snouted canine, who had eyes like glass fire and a stare like steel. The two stared at one another for a long time, and even though Epsilon didn't do anything like jump for joy or embrace her, which she didn't expect him to do anyway, she could still see the recognition in his gaze.
"So?" asked Lyra impatiently, glancing back and forth between the Lucario and her friend. Her look was so intense that Alfie could feel the pressure, working at the side of her head. "Work your magic then! Tell me what he's saying, or at least, what he wants to say."
Why do you not tell them, little lady?
Alfie's throat locked. "He, uh…" She could practically see Epsilon's beautiful smile, the confident way that one corner of his lips lifted and how his brows arched so subtly. His voice sounded like arrogance, but it was really a gentler form of teasing. "He's, um…saying…"
Tell them that Lyra needs to cook more homemade meals for us. It is difficult staying fit when the only thing you can eat is fried beans and canned macaroni. And tell her that Pokemon need to do their laundry too. They do not always run around naked. Not most of us, anyway. I bet they would not like it if we assumed they went around in the nude.
Alfie stifled a laugh, hoping that her friends hadn't noticed her. After not hearing Epsilon's voice for so long, everything that he said, whether it was humorous or not, made her want to burst into laughter. She felt it, deep within her, like a spring bubbles water. "He's not much a talker," she said. Then, because she wanted to keep the Lucario out for a moment longer, she lied, "But he seems pleased with life. Content, really, like he couldn't ask for anything more."
Epsilon gave a curt nod, as if agreeing with her, and Lyra was in awe. "All you did was look at him and you knew!" she gasped. Her eyes widened with amazement as her voice lowered to a playful whisper, "You really are magical."
A magical thing you are, little lady. I see the magic inside of you now. I can see your golden eyes. You may not know you have them, but they are shining so wonderfully. Anyone who is not overwhelmed by their brilliance must be blind.
Alfie was submerged in the middle of Lyra and Ethan's conversation.
"There's this awesome restaurant in Cherrygrove, about ten minutes from the fork in the route," said Lyra, who was preoccupied with adjusting her white bonnet. "We could go there to celebrate. They even have a buffet setup for Pokemon, and they just have the best desserts—"
You are a human, and yet, you still shine like the sun.
Alfie couldn't be anywhere near Epsilon anymore, not while she was with her friends. She feared that she would begin to cry or say things that she regretted. So, she pulled out her phone and excused herself, "Hold on, I just got a message from Professor Elm. I think he says that I need to come in as soon as possible. I'll have to go to the lab."
"But, wait, aren't you going to come with us?" asked Lyra, her face pleading. "It won't be any fun if it's just me and Ethan."
"Hey!"
"N—no, I'll go," said Alfie, looking away from Epsilon's steady stare. She started backing away from the others, almost desperate to be distanced from them. Really, it was unfair. She was driving a hole in between her and her friends, when it was the Pokemon that she didn't want to be around. "Before you go, I'll be in the back pasture. If…if you don't see me, just call, okay?"
"Well," said Lyra, disappointed, "all right then. We'll see you later."
Alfie ran, far from her problems and those who were closest to her, and she didn't mean Lyra and Ethan. She meant the Pokemon – the man – who had said she shined like the sun, and the four others who were waiting inside of their Pokéballs, so near her that she couldn't stand it anymore. Even though she hadn't specifically asked Arceus to bring her to the human world, she still felt like she had betrayed them.
She sprinted until her breaths stopped and her screams built up inside of her throat, and she realized that if she didn't find safety and privacy, she was going to collapse to the ground and tear the earth apart. Choosing to take the long route to the laboratory, she mechanically ran through alleys and forest and parking lots.
I didn't think that he would make me break down this fast. Everything felt like rain – cold and gray, smudged along the lines and present even though the sun was shining. Blurs of colors rushed past her head as Alfie ran. I was fine until I heard his voice, until I was reminded that they still exist. I was fine, I was fine, I AM fine!
She finally stopped at the gate to the back pasture, and then she collapsed to her knees, gasping for air and shutting her eyes so she didn't have to look anywhere but the back of her eyelids. Breathing, she pressed her forehead to the steel latch, hands shaking at the handle. And then, before she could be anymore pitiful, she let herself in and, for the first time, she closed the gate behind her.
I'm fine, she thought, sliding against the fence at the same spot she and Dahlia had spoken many weeks before. The Chikorita had left with her trainer, but in her head, Alfie could still recall her spring smells. Her eyes lifted as a concerned looking Furret approached her. "Oh, hey there Fernando," she said.
"F-uuruurrr-et?" The furry Pokemon planted itself next to her.
"Oh, it's nothing," said Alfie, who hadn't begun to cry yet but feared she eventually would. She forced a smile onto her face. Even though she wanted to pet him, she hadn't really enjoyed humans disheveling her hair either. "What, you think I'm upset or something? Where did you get that idea?"
"Furret."
"Is it really that obvious?" That was when Alfie realized how awful she must have looked. She had run so hard that her endurance had ultimately failed her, which was a rare thing for her. Her hair was blown back and her cheeks were wind burned, and her breaths were so shallow that she sounded like asphalt. "I guess it is, then."
She sighed and ran her hands over her face, stopping at her eyes to block the evening sun again. "It's not like I mean to think the way I do," she said, and she looked at Fernando. "You must love your life so much as a Pokemon." She groaned and slammed the back of her head against the fence. "It was stupid of me. Stupid, stupid, to think that I was cut out for the human world!"
Fernando sat so close to her that she felt his fur brush her bare arms. "F-uuuret, fu-ururu-ret."
"Why was I such a dummy?" Alfie groaned into her palms, muffling the noise of her frustration. "I've always been such an idiot! I didn't trust Yami with my secret, I was so blind that I couldn't even see how he really felt about me! And my parents, the people at school – I couldn't even tell them who I really was, because I was so scared and just…agh."
The Furret gave her an empty stare that said, "You look like you're a very troubled person." His ears suddenly twitched, and he turned towards the gate of the pasture. When he saw who was coming, he gave a high-pitched purr and darted away.
"Alfie?" asked Lyra, her voice tentative. She kept one hand on the gate and one close to her heart, clutching at the fabric of her overalls. "I came to see if you were all right."
Alfie cleared her throat and tried to make it seem like she hadn't been spilling her innermost thoughts to a Pokemon. "Turns out that the special patient wasn't here after all," she said, nervously laughing. "He won't be here until tomorrow morning. Looks like it was just a false alarm, then."
Lyra wasn't to be fooled. She tightened her lips into a straight, red line, and even though she looked like she wanted to step further into the pasture, she kept her distance, as if she realized that Alfie had built a protective wall around herself. "I guess so," she said. "Well, Ethan's waiting by the front of the lab. We're going to Cherrygrove now. I wanted to see if you were still coming."
"Oh," said Alfie emptily, and then she was brought back to life. "Oh! Um, no, I'm not sure about that actually. I might have caught something from one of the other researchers." She weakly laughed again. "The stomach virus. I'm really not feeling like eating anything rich. See, this is all of the good stuff that you've been missing."
"We could stay in New Bark and—"
"No!" exclaimed Alfie, a little too fast. She coughed so that she had time to figure out what else to tell her friend. "I mean, please, don't restrict yourselves from fun because I'm being the usual bore. I would go if I could, but I'm afraid that I'll start getting sick and then we'll have to leave early or something. Please, just go. For me."
Lyra still looked hesitant, but she was slowly beginning to step backwards, towards the gate. "Should we just meet you at your house afterwards? For movie night, maybe? We'll let you pick, since you aren't going to come and all."
Ethan will be ecstatic to be alone with her, thought Alfie, feeling chills run down her neck. "Yep, that sounds good." She nodded towards the gate, encouraging Lyra to leave. It took several reassuring smiles and meaningfully widened eyes to get the girl out of the pasture, and when Alfie was on the verge of lonesomeness again, she felt like there was something she had to do. "Wait, Lyra!"
When her friend's head reappeared around the corner, Alfie pushed herself from the gate and walked towards her. The words came out before she could think them. "I get paid to do therapist work," she said, her voice frail. "And I haven't filled my quota today. Do you have a Pokemon I could borrow, just for a moment? I'll tell you what they're thinking, see if they have any issues."
Lyra took a moment to register what Alfie had just said, and then she went, "Oh, yes!" and glanced down at her Pokéballs. "I guess you just pick one at random. Whichever one you want."
Alfie's hand hovered over the capsules, and for a second, she felt like a trainer going into battle. Her fingers touched them individually, feeling their warmth. Each one felt like an imprisoned miracle, something waiting to burst into life, but there was one particular Pokéball that felt different from the rest. I don't hear anything coming from this one.
"This one," she said, sure of her choice. "I want to see who's in here." Just before Lyra reached for the Pokéballs, Alfie added, and "I think this one is different from the others. I think it would be best if we were left alone for a second. I'll call you back when we're done."
And when the rose light appeared, so did everything that had ever mattered to Alfie. They were suddenly alone, and human and Pokemon – girl and boy – stared into each other's faces for so long that their eyes were forced to blink. The silence was not awkward or uncomfortable, but understood, as if they preferred it like that.
"Don't I wish I could see you again," said Alfie softly. She smiled, mocking herself, and then she lifted the ends of her hair with one hand, leaving the other hand to rest by her eyes. "I told you that I looked boring as a human. There's nothing special for you to see now, nothing extraordinary about me. I'm just Alfie, aren't I? That's how it should be."
Alfie's brows lowered over her eyes, forcing the tears behind her eyes again. "But she and the girl you knew can't be the same," she said, trying to make her words sound harsh. When it came to Yami, however, she could never be like that. "The just Alfie wouldn't have fallen in love with a Pokemon, and the just Alfie wouldn't have thought about him since the day she left him."
For once, the Gengar registered strong emotion. As usual, he appeared more angered than anything, but Alfie knew he was shielding himself from her.
"There's a lot of things the just Alfie wouldn't have done that the Pokemon did," she said, her shoulders slumping. Her tone sounded like she was folding in on herself, like she was giving up. "And I guess that's the most frustrating part about it. Sometimes, I don't even know if I want to be just Alfie. I want to be Alfie the brave, or Alfie the strong. There's no such person here though. Not with the humans."
She rubbed her arms, isolating herself in a world far away from the only two she had ever known. "I know you're not mad at me, Ghost-boy," she whispered, and his eyes narrowed with recognition. "I can tell already. Even though I would have been mad at myself, you aren't. That's why you were my best friend, my battle partner, and the only boy I've ever trusted to know the real me."
The sun was beginning to set, and Alfie knew that her friends still had to get to Cherrygrove. She gazed at Yami, and she forced herself to see beyond the Pokemon disguise. She saw a handsome boy, who was thin but muscular and terrifying but so beautiful that it hurt. Someone who was rude and condescending, but someone who was also the kindest person she'd ever met.
I see his white shirt and dark button-down, the black jeans and the silver chain around his neck with the small pendant. I see the hair, just long enough for me to run my hands through but short enough to show how good looking he really is. Red eyes, deep set and cat-like. His smile, which could either mean he's just played a good prank on you or fallen in love with you.
"I hope the Pokemon world remembers me," said Alfie. "I hope you remember me." And then, before the Gengar could panic, she called, "Lyra, I'm done now!"
The trainer appeared again, smiling at the forlorn Pokemon. "Well, how did it go?" she asked, more towards Yami than anyone. Then she glanced at Alfie expectantly, awaiting the repot.
"It looks like there's something missing from his life." Alfie attempted to ignore the pained expression on Yami's face. Instead, she just focused on her cuticles and how much she had worn down her nails in the last few hours. "Almost like he's lost something and is really upset about it. I don't know what it is. A friend of his, maybe."
"Oh, really?" Lyra inspected her Pokemon. "How on earth would you know something like that? I've seen him every single day for the last year and a half and I wouldn't have discovered that. What are you, the Pokemon guru?" She raised her eyebrows meaningfully at Yami. "Whatever you've lost, friend or not, I hope you haven't been hiding anything from me."
"Don't worry, Yami," said Alfie. "I'm sure she's missing you too."
Lyra looked mystified by the offhand remark, but she said nothing about it. Instead, she recalled the Gengar, back into his Pokéball, which she dutifully strapped to her belt. "You've filled your quota," she said, half-smiling, half-wondering. She turned away to go, but before she did, she added, "Someone special, you are. I keep telling you that. I'm just waiting for you to acknowledge it."
Alfie watched her friend leave. With each step, another tear formed along the curvature of her eyes, and then, as soon as she knew she was alone again, she choked herself with a sob and fell to her knees. "I'm not fine, I'm not fine," she sobbed, her trembling hand hovering over her mouth. She shut her eyes and clutched at herself, continually repeating, "I'm so stupid, I'm so stupid!"
She cried to herself until the sun was just a dim light along the horizon, until the trees and the mountains cast a darkened shadow over her rocking figure. Pokemon looked upon her in worried awe, wondering if they should step nearer and fearing that she might lash out at them. The pasture was filled with the sounds of her strangled cries and the words that she kept saying, "I'm not fine, I'm so stupid!"
Like she knew she would, she dug her fingers into the soft earth and pulled out the grass, hoping to find some way she could express her pent up sadness. And, when she was done, she buried her screams in her throat. "I'm so sorry," she whimpered, unable to say anything else. "I'm sorry that I chose this world instead, I'm sorry that I didn't know what I wanted…"
From desperation, she craned her head back and yelled at the sky, "Arceus, I made a mistake! This isn't what I want, this…this isn't what I…" Her voice hitched, and she melted beneath another wave of tears. She leaned against the ground again, as if praying for help. "I never wanted this from the start. I didn't want this to happen…I don't want to suffer anymore…"
When the clouds spoke back, everything inside of her lit up, all at once.
Your cries are louder than they ever have been. Even though she couldn't see him, Alfie knew that he was right there with her, protecting her from the hurting. I have always been here, my divergent one, listening to you. I have been here since the day you were reborn. You only needed to find me for yourself.
"I…I…" Alfie couldn't speak for much longer, because her own words were being overridden with hiccups. "Arceus, I made a terrible, terrible mistake. I threw away e—everything! The people who cared about me, the life that I loved so much, all for parents who still don't appreciate me and friends I've never really belonged with!" She pinched her eyes shut again. "I just don't…I just don't know anymore."
Arceus did not speak for a moment. I understand your pain, he said at last. Sometimes, even the strongest of us make mistakes. When I looked into your heart, searching for the place you wanted to be, I saw our world in your future. And yet, there was still doubt inside. You doubted us, doubted your own desires, and doubted yourself, and that it why you are here now.
"I didn't mean to," said Alfie softly. Her will had diminished to nothing but a shred of light, one of the only pieces of herself she never wanted to give up. "I should have known that everything would just go back to the way it was. I got out of the house for once and got a job, and still everyone is treating me the same way. Nobody talks to me anymore than they used to. The only people I know are the Pokemon, and still I feel so far away from them."
Fernando approached her again, even more hesitantly than the last time. "Fu-uruu -ret?"
"Before, I wanted everything," she said, sighing. She almost felt the overlord's company behind her, but still he was only a presence. "But to me, this world is nothing. I have nothing here. As a Pokemon, I did have everything. Etoile, the mother figure whom I can tell anything. Ever, the sister whom I have a love-hate relationship with…" She trailed off, unable to continue.
It sounds as if you left that family for one you did not need in the first place.
"I wouldn't say I don't need them." Alfie creased the space between her eyebrows, using her fingers to massage her temples. When she spoke again, she sounded like she'd just reached a realization. "Just that…I don't belong with them. They aren't my people, and I'm not theirs. Ever since I was a child, I knew that there was somewhere else I needed to be."
Alfie could see the overlord's smile in his voice. Let me tell you something, divergent one, he said. One year ago, I was searching for someone who could save me, for someone who could find out the answers that I was too blind to see, someone who could have the courage I never had. I found that person in you. There were hundreds of other humans I could have chosen, other humans who had a great destiny in store for them. There were only two differences between you and them. One, they did not have the will to learn to love or to be brave. And two, they did not belong in our world.
"Belonging in your world," echoed Alfie, who wanted to hit herself for being so ignorant. "Epsilon told me that he knew that he was meant to be a Pokemon from the very start. I only wish that I could have known that from the beginning too. I don't even know why I thought that I could be happy here again. It's just that…" And again, realization struck her. "I just thought that maybe…maybe since I'd changed, everyone else had too."
That is not always the case.
Alfie was more miserable than ever. "Oh, goodness," she said, beneath her breath. Under the setting sun, her hands looked tanned against the grass. "What have I done? Yami probably is going to hate my guts from now on, and Ever is going to talk so much smack about me while I'm here—"
I have made many mistakes throughout my lifetime as well, said Arceus. I had fear when I was supposed to have courage, doubt when I was supposed to be a leader. I may have been distanced from my people for the last thousand years, but there is one thing that I am sure of, and that is that they will forgive me. Their parents and their parents before that have grown up thinking that I was nothing but a sorry excuse for a ruler. But now, this generation has a new light to look towards, and it is because of you that they can.
"Well, I'm glad I could help," said Alfie bashfully, warmed by his tone. She should have, but she hadn't thought much about her doings in the Pokemon world for the last few weeks, just what she had left behind. She forgot that she had accomplished something, at least.
And it is because of you and Epsilon that they will be able to teach their children about the great and heroic deeds that the divergent one did, continued Arceus. No longer will my protégés be ridiculed and forgotten. It is Pokemon like you and Epsilon who will be written in the history books, told during the stories at night. I have much to owe you, and yet, I feel like I have only unsatisfied you.
"Oh, Arceus, it isn't your fault!" She suddenly felt awful for acting like such a baby in front of the overlord, when all he had done was try his hardest to reward her. Slumping against the ground, she tried to lighten her words. "I'm really sorry, I am! I'll just have to make the best of it, I suppose."
And it is Pokemon like you who belong with us. Arceus felt so close then, as if he was standing right beside her. It is Pokemon like you who deserve to stand proudly at my side with the rest of the higher-ups, smiling down at those who will be forever indebted to you. But, there is a problem that I am having now. Perhaps you can assist me with your judgment?
"My judgment?" Alfie couldn't help but be suspicious at the tone of his voice.
Now that the world has been saved and his fair maiden has been saved, began Arceus, I have been considering freeing Epsilon from his position as my seeker. I think it is only fair that I give him time to settle with his love, give him the opportunity to begin something new. But, if I were to do that, I would have nobody to take his place. Nobody that lives up to my expectations, at least.
Alfie furrowed her brows. "I don't really understand what you're getting at here, I…" Her heart jumped from its place, it was beating so hard. She trailed off, wondering if she was assuming too much. "Wait, Arceus, do you mean that—?"
You see, the seeker is a job that is to be taken very seriously. The seeker is required to keep on constant alert, should there be any more of my protégés…'falling' into our world. He or she acts as my representative, the one who spreads my word and acts as my most trustworthy subject. Arceus really did smile then, because there was one last beam of light shining over the faraway hills. When I confided with my people, there was only one small girl that came to mind.
"Wait, you—"
We all came to a consensus, said Arceus. We agreed that we needed someone who fitted all of the requirements that the seeker needed. Our only other option was Epsilon, but we have also agreed that his retirement has come. None of us were biased against the thought of a child taking his place. After all, this certain child has exhibited some exemplary behavior over the last year. And so, I extend my hand to you, Alfie. Will you be my seeker?
"Y—your seeker." Alfie was at a loss for words. "I…Arceus, of course I will be!" And then she paused, because as usual, the horrors of doubt were still lingering in her heart. She didn't want to take this position so hastily, all because she was looking for a way to be close to Pokemon again. "But, my Lord, I'm not so sure if I really qualify, I…"
I only require four traits in my seeker. She must be brave, willing to learn, compassionate, and… Arceus paused. There was something hiding behind his voice, as if he was keeping something from her. And then, the most wonderful words he could have spoken – at last – arrived. She must also be a Pokemon.
Everything was alive again. "What?"
I cannot exactly have a human knowing all of the secrets behind the doors to the Hall of Origin. Alfie, like she had seen his smile, saw the winking of his eye. There is confidential information, meetings with the higher-ups, all of that hub. So you see, I think it would be in my right to make a special exception for you, an exception I have never made before. The public would be outraged if I did not do this…
"Arceus!"
And I am sure that they would be simply furious if I decided to close my eyes to this matter. My people have spoken, Alfie, and I would not be in my right mind if I were to ignore them…
"You…" Alfie had never been more speechless in her life. Every rational thought had left her mind, leaving her with pictures of the past and of the future she wanted to have. Her heart was beating so fast and so hard that she could feel it all over her body, and the smile she was suppressing was slowly beginning to spread. I'm going home.
When you awake, the world will be as it was. To the humans, you will be dead. Your pictures will always line the halls of empty houses, always missed and never to be forgotten. But to the Pokemon, you will be a hero. The lives that you touched as a human will remain the same, and our world will rejoice in your name and celebrate the day you found your way home.
The blackness that followed was not from her nightmare – it was like moonlight, like dark hair and the short moments before the sky lit up with a thousand different colors. She did not shy from the coldness or the emptiness of her world. Instead, she let herself be embraced, only waiting for her eyes to reopen and her life to begin all over again.
Your friends will be at path in the road when you awaken, the one at the far end of the forest. You know where I am referring. They have three roads to choose from and not much time to spare. If you do not hasten, you may miss them to the paths. Good luck on your journey, divergent one. I will see you on the other side.
She was not dying, but being reborn.
The instant that Alfie opened her eyes, she knew that she'd returned.
An excited shiver ran through her body. Before she dared to look downwards, she tentatively reached down and felt the fabric of her clothing. She knew, without even looking, that she was wearing the short, lime-green dress with the fluffed skirt. She was even wearing the tall brown, feminine combat boots she'd grown so accustomed to. Oh, if you knew how glad I am to wear you!
Unable to stop grinning, she pushed herself up from the damp grass and inhaled deeply. From her perspective, everything – the summer sunshine, the smell of rain, and the even the sound of solitude – felt better than it ever had. She blinked back tears, stretched her arms out, and yelled at the sky, "I'm a Pokemon again!"
As she wiped her eyes, she laughed to herself. Even when she'd quieted, little giggles managed to escape past her hiccups as she pulled at her curls. Her hair was back to its bright green shade, and she already knew that her eyes were no longer brown, but golden. At that moment, she felt like the prettiest girl alive – she was a Pokemon, and so she was beautiful.
"Oh my goodness, oh my goodness," she whispered to herself.
It was too much. One month without her powers, without her friends, without her family. . . She inwardly gasped, and her eyes flew to the edge of the clearing. She didn't have much time – Lyra and the others would be leaving soon!
Alfie ran. From a complete stop, she launched into a hurdling sprint. Her adrenaline pumping, she pushed herself faster across the clearing. Once she reached the forest, she bolted into the trees without fear or hesitation. Nothing stopped her. She leapt – almost flew – over fallen branches and uprooted weeds, as if she could see every obstacle.
Like lightning, Alfie raced the clock. She knew that, in mere minutes, the team would be departing from the route and moving onward. From there, she had no clue which direction they were headed in. She just couldn't miss them. I am NOT going to miss them to some stupid fork in the road.
Her heart hammered her chest as she tore through the woods. With each step, more thoughts flooded her mind. Lyra. Friends. Family. Love. Yami. They were all waiting for her. Whenever her breath waned and her pulse quickened, she forced herself to remember that they were just around the corner, most likely standing at the fork and wondering which direction to go.
Voices. She heard voices! She ignored her aching legs, and she put on a last burst of speed. As she ran past, she grabbed onto the trunk of the large oak, skidding to a sudden stop on the dusty road, and there they were.
Everybody was there. They all paused, obviously surprised by her appearance. The only one who didn't look startled was Epsilon, and he instead wore a knowing smile. "I—I'm here," Alfie panted. She breathed laboriously, and then she put her head down, gulping for air. When she lifted her head again, new tears sprung into her eyes, her hand trembling against the oak.
"Oh, Alfie, there you are!" said Lyra, in a very scolding manner. She sighed exasperatedly and asked, "Seriously, what am I going to do with you? Come on, hurry up, we're about to leave."
Alfie approached the others, who couldn't take their stares from her. The first one to speak was Ever, who chuckled to herself and said, "And just when I thought I'd gotten rid of you." When met with criticism from the others, she shrugged, and then she gave Alfie a wink. "I suppose that I can get used to you again."
Epsilon put his hand on her forehead and closed his eyes, humming to himself in a joking manner. When he pulled his hand away, he cracked a smile. "This one seems very pleased with her life. Content, really, as if she could not ask for anything more."
"That's real funny, Epsilon." Even though Alfie attempted to uphold a serious demeanor, she too had to smile. As Etoile finally let out a shriek and suffocated her in a motherly embrace, Alfie squeaked out, "But that's true. It's very true. Ow, Etoile, that hurts!"
As she was let down to the ground, her eye caught a certain someone, who was lingering at the very edge of the circle with his hands in his pockets and his gaze fixed on her. "It's nice to see you too, Ghost-boy," she said jokingly, but her tone was gentle. "I don't get a welcome insult or anything?"
"How can I?" said Yami, who looked down at her. He approached her, slow and deliberate, and then he suddenly hugged her. With his face in her hair and his arms so tight around her shoulders that she couldn't budge, he asked, "How can I when I don't know you?"
"Of course you know me, I—" Alfie stopped herself, making sure that she knew what he was talking about before she commented. We have always been so focused on everything happening now that we never took the time to explore. She glanced up at him, her eyes softened, as if she was looking at him for just the first time.
Epsilon had once told her that light would find its way into her life. She had traveled the dimensional boundaries to discover what she was meant to do. At first, everything felt meaningless. It had been a struggle, and there were many obstacles along the way. But then came light, and she had been illuminated. She couldn't help but think, He was right the whole time. Epsilon really was right.
Because this was where she wanted to be. She wasn't supposed to be a human – she was meant to be a Pokemon, and she loved everything about their world. Even though she would miss her parents, this is where she knew she would stay, and she would never regret her choice. This place was the very purpose she existed. This was the family she would do anything for. This was the home she had dreamed of finding her whole life. This was happiness.
Alfie thought of how Yami's eyes, when the sun shined just so, glowered amber. She thought about his jokes, which could make her laugh in any situation, and his smile, which was worth a thousand words. When she had fought against the overlord, she hadn't just been fighting for the Pokemon world. She had fought for him. At that moment, she knew for certain that she would love him forever. She stuck out her hand.
This is what her heart had chosen.
"In that case, it's really nice to meet you! I'm Alfie!"
End of Chapter Twenty-Seven
Other Notes: Epilogue tomorrow. ^^
