Title: Bad Form

Theme: Sword

Words: 483

Rating: K

Warnings: Sanji fail?

Notes: I wrote this while at a choir concert (time was running out and I wrote where I could). Apparently, writing while listening to junior high kids attempt Latin and French does weird things to my writing style. I don't really like it, but as I said, I was running out of time and took what I got.

Summary: Sanji just needs a little more practice…


Bad Form

By Dandy Wonderous

Another day, another marine attack. The blood and discarded weapons of the fallen were littered all over the Sunny, and thus the Strawhats industriously set to cleaning. Sanji, of course, was cleaning his kitchen, which had been invaded by marines who met a very swift defeat by his foot. Anyone who tried to "help" (translated as, "get in his way or raid his fridge") was immediately kicked into a wall or given a refreshing drink and told that beauties such as they shouldn't be cleaning.

It was in the midst of this task that our young cook happened upon a dropped marine sword under the dining room table. His immediate conclusion was to toss the thing into the sea, but, in a rather uncharacteristic moment of consideration, he remembered that Zoro and Brooke sometimes used extra blades for sparring practice. Deciding that they might have use for it, he made to take it to them, holding it somewhat awkwardly by the hilt. Carelessly he twisted his wrist, swinging the blade in a crescent.

Swish.

Hmm?

Swish.

Swish.

Curious.

Sanji gave the sword a few more experimental swings, enjoying the feel as the blade fought the air. Finding it strangely fun, he slashed and cut at several imagined foes.

Abruptly he stopped himself, realizing that he was being completely and utterly foolish. Getting this wrapped up by an overgrown knife? Why, this was the swordsman's shtick!

He stared at the offending blade for several more seconds, wondering if perhaps he should just throw the thing into the ocean. He started to walk forward once more, then halted. He had effectively chased off every member of the crew with his foul mood, and he'd give it a good fifteen minutes before even Luffy bothered him again.

Sweeping the area cautiously with his eyes in case there might be some spy hidden away, he raised the sword again. Using his experience from so many fights with the marimo as his guide, he began an imagined duel with a cruel and evil king who kept fair maidens locked away in his basement. Sanji parried and lunged like a good prince should, in his imagination, to save the beautiful women and receive nothing but their thanks, which he hoped to be rather physical.

He had nearly vanquished the evil king and claimed his well-deserved reward when the door opened and someone entered. The brave warrior did not have time to react casually, being in mid-thrust, and stumbled forward, his natural sea legs the only thing keeping him upright.

Sanji looked hesitantly over his shoulder and beheld Zoro, watching him with a bemused expression. After several seconds of silence, the laughing swordsman offered the embarrassed cook some advice:

"Your form is horrible. Stop flailing around like Luffy trying to catch a beetle."

After he was gone Sanji promptly threw the blade into the sea.

The End


See? Weird things…