Authors Note:
I've got a tumblr now.
Mostly just shit posting my fictional crushes... you'll find I have a specific type. But hey, feel free to add to my shit posting.
Bleh bleh bleh?
Blooh blooh blooh.
Idk guys, it's been a weird day. My head is all foggy and it feels like my arms and legs are experiencing lag. I guess I just need to update my servers. Hahaha. I'm so funny.
"Just what do you think you're doing?" Levi hissed, his hand firmly wrapped around the wrist of the little pocket thief.
"I-I..." The kid was sweating bullets. "Uh, you dropped this!"
Levi raised a brow, plucking his wallet from the kid with his free hand. Slowly he looked it over, inspecting the contents. Appeased he shoved the kid, watching as he stumbled, stuttered some nonsense, finally turning on a heel and running.
"Kid just about shit himself." He tsked, tucking his wallet back into his breast pocket.
"You're always so crude." Erwin sighed, his eyes dancing sharp over the crowd. "Still, better than being robbed."
"Why are we on guard duty anyway?" Levi's glance met that of a military police.
"Cuz they're all-"
"Drunk off their ass." He growled, watching as a group of three stumbled, laughing raucously. "Pathetic."
"H-hey." One of the three, a sturdy female, stumbled around to face them. "Ssay that to my fa-ace you little-" She belched, her cheeks bulging. With some effort she swallowed, though the green tint to her face remained. "You li-ittle cocksuh-sucker."
Commander Smith's face went blank as he pinned them with his glare. The would be attacker stopped slouching, for a moment her gaze focused.
"Y-you're-" Her eyes widened and dropped back to Levi, the green tint of her skin becoming more visible as she paled and backtracked, tripping over herself.
"I suggest you go back to your festivities." Erwin commanded, voice flat.
"Sir." The three managed half decent salutes before moving on.
"You take all the fun out of this." Levi quipped. "I've got quite a bit of energy I'd like to burn off."
He felt Erwin's side eye. "I'll bet you do." The man sighed, running a hand through his hair. "I try to stay out of your business, Ackerman. I do. But you gotta handle that situation one way or another because, honestly, you're a pain in the ass right now. All that-" he gestured wildly, "testosterone. You could do a lot worse than Bernell. She's decent to look at, she's pretty damn tough. And," his voice dipped lower, "I know she'd never hurt you. Not on purpose."
Levi's eye narrowed, "I'm 30, Commander." He snipped, "I don't need you worrying about my delicate feelings."
"You act like you're emotionless, Levi." Erwin shot right back, "But we all know the truth of it. We've seen you, we've experienced it. You're so strong, stronger than most of us. You hold us together, you're our rock and back bone but... you feel it so much more deeply than we do."
"I-"
"No one else has a drawer full of old badges, Levi."
The knowledge hit him. His protest died on his lips. All of a sudden he could feel everyone around him, all the eyes and germs and the dirt mixing with the snow and splattering his pant leg. The odd smells of human that clung to his coat. His eyes darted around, as though he could see every bit of scum around him; people puking off the main walkway, a couple engaged sexually in a dark doorway, people shouting and spitting as they screamed and yelled and laughed.
"I've gotta go." Levi muttered, he felt itchy all over. "I need to go home. I've gotta-"
"What?" Erwin rolled his eyes, "Clean? Write notes? Plot our next move across titan country?"
Levi bristled, "Yes!"
"Well you're on a mission right now and you can't." He rocked back on his heels smugly. "And those three are exactly why we're covering the military police's work."
"Yeah, fuck you and your fucking mission." He glowered, closing his eyes and breathing deeply to suppress the feeling of being filthy all over.
"I think I see something over there-"
"Shove it up your ass." Levi breathed out, his eyes opening and following Erwin's gaze.
Four figures wearing hoods were making their way around the back of the crowd. Levi's eyes narrowed.
"Are they picking pockets or-?"
A child let out a scared scream as one of the hooded figures snapped the kid up, the other three ran in opposite directions.
"Levi!" Erwin had burst forward.
He didn't need to be told twice though. Levi had already flung himself into action. Behind him he could hear a commotion. He didn't bother to look. A child being stolen was far more important than a few victims of slight-of-hand. The ground was slick beneath his shoes, adjusting for the snow wet stones hindered his speed just enough to be frustrating. He grit his teeth, legs churning beneath him. It felt good to run, his body lapping at the pent up energy he'd been ignoring and using it to slide around the corner. He felt the wet dirt splatter up his pant leg. He'd make them pay for that. His eyes moved around the crowd, finding the person who had taken the child. Immediately his body bee-lined for the perpetrator; using the crowd to gain the advantage. He pushed himself past a large group of people by launching himself over their heads, using their shoulders to propel himself into the air. The hooded figured turned to the sounds of indignation and jumped into action. Quickly it grabbed at the child who - God bless the filthy thing - began biting and squirming, screaming and crying. As Levi neared he could feel the panic. The criminal tried one last time, halfheartedly tugging at the child's wrist before turning on a heel and fleeing into the darkness of the street.
Levi watched as the perpetrator fled - torn between following and making sure the kid got back to his parents safely. He sighed knowing the decision had already been made by his hesitation, mentally marking the path before turning back to the kid. The child was a mess of tears and snot and sticky substances pasted around his mouth and face.
"Are you alright, kid?" Levi crouched down, annoyed to find he very nearly didn't need to.
The kid nodded, tears slowing. He wiped at his nose, smearing snot across his cheek. Levi grimaced but stayed where he was.
"Were you here with your mom or dad?"
"I was here wif the nanny. She bought me a apple." The kid grabbed at a rock on the ground, tapping it in a rhythm against the wooden barrels surrounding the stand.
"I can see that." Levi replied dryly. "How did you manage to get it on your forehead and... behind your ear?!"
The kid laughed as Levi stood, rubbing his head affectionately. Relief flooded him. For a terrifying, agonizing moment he had wondered, had feared that it had been one of Bernell's children. An easy mistake to make, the boy was small and thin. His brown hair was a touch longer than either of Bernell's boys and his skin a bit more pale, but from far away he hadn't been able to tell. Levi stood as a young lady ran up.
"Oh thank you, Captain!" She looked terrified and wilted with relief at the boys feet. "I thought, well... I thought the worst."
Levi watched as she cleaned the child's face before pulling him close and kissing his head.
"Your mother would have been so worried." She stood again, wiping off her now wet skirt. "Thank you, Captain. Did you catch the people who-?"
Levi shook his head, "But maybe keep a better eye on children from now on?"
Her eyes widened with shame and shock, but she nodded. Levi watched them as they returned to the festivities, feeling but ignoring Erwin as he approached. One of the criminals was unmasked and being led away by the Military Police in chains. The crowd murmured, fading away as the night grew longer and the cold increased. As though the incident had been an unspoken call to end the celebrations.
"Good job getting the kid."
"Did you capture them?"
"All but that one." He heard Erwin turn to look into the darkness behind them. "Kid looks a lot like Ezra."
"You noticed as well, hm?" Levi couldn't help the way his heart still tripped at the panic that was slow in subsiding.
"I think we've done enough tonight." Erwin place a hand on Levi's shoulder, "Most people are leaving. Mission's over soldier."
"Commander." Levi saluted, clicking his heels together.
"Have a good night Levi."
"Sir." He relaxed, eyes narrowed as Erwin walked away.
Hours had passed and still Bernell felt as though she were on fire. When she had returned home the first thing she had done was settle the boys down for bed. Terra was asleep before they'd even reached the front door; Gabriel and Ezra were far too keyed up to fall asleep immediately so she had made them honey and warm milk as they regaled her with tales from their evening out. Eventually they talked themselves calm and needed little urging to go to sleep. Lisa's note had been pinned to the back of the front door stating they had been invited to stay with her betrothed for the evening.
Alone in the house Bernell had curled up on the cushioned chair, cradling her cup of tea flitting between reliving sensations and fantasizing. Her stomach tumbled pleasantly in remembrance of how close Levi had held her, of how his body had felt against hers - even through the clothing. It had been years since she'd felt the pressure of a man against her. Just as long since it had been a man she wanted against her. He had been so warm, radiating heat. And solid, and sweet. His eyes had been so intense and alive.
She sat up in the rocking chair, eyes wide. Her head turned slowly to the yellow dot that had caught her attention when it illuminated the snow drift outside. Anxiously she made her way to the kitchen window. Her heart raced.
Levi's home. She almost laughed at how silly she was being.
They almost shared a kiss. It was nothing to get this worked up about, and yet... And yet. She hadn't felt this way in so long, in years - to not be angry all the time. To feel alive in more than just survival mode, to feel romantically towards someone; to have realized she felt that way all along. Her eyes narrowed. Through the falling snow she could have sworn... She took a step back, setting her tea cup down as her heart picked up its pace. It was. Levi was walking towards her, towards the house. In a blind panic she moved to the center of the living room, hands frantically trying to fix her hair. Silently she bemoaned that she hadn't washed her hair, or showered at all today really. The knock at the door interrupted her. Bernell froze.
Another round of knocks. They were quick and harsh, almost frenzied. Bernell frowned, admonishing herself, her primping forgotten as she moved to open the door. She wasn't a child, she'd known this man for years. She didn't need to act like a teenager again.
"Levi?"
"Where are the kids?" He strode through the front room, his shoes shed clumps of packed snow across the hardwood floor. Bernell felt her skin tighten over her body with apprehension, "Is Lisa here?"
"Wha-no, Lisa's with-"
"The boys, where are they?"
"T-they're upstairs Levi. For Gods sake, what's wrong?" She tried to whisper shout as he bounded up the stairs, peeking first in her bedroom and then moving to the boys.
Visibly he relaxed against the railing as he closed their door. For a moment he didn't move and Bernell didn't pester him, instead moving to the kitchen to fix him a cup of tea. If she remembered right he was a connoisseur of sorts, his home had boasted an impressive collection of loose leafed teas organized meticulously along the wall beside his bookshelf. She set the cup on the table and took her seat, curling her feet under her as she waited impatiently, heart no longer hammering. She kept her back to him, not bothering to look when he sat at the kitchen table, facing her.
She analyzed him as he drank. He was shaken, pale. His hand didn't shake as he held the cup in his awkward way but he gripped it too tightly; his knuckles white, his eyes closed. Tom had come home like that some nights. After a bad shift. It struck her as bizarre that she was reliving this moment with a completely different type of human.
"There were kidnappers." He set his cup down, looking into the fire. His hair fell over his eyes, wet and bedraggled from the snow. His pants were splattered with mud and wet up to the knees. "The kid they tried to take looked... well," he paused, pushing a hand through his hair.
Her heart stumbled at how handsome he looked staring pensively into the flames, his face fully exposed. His presence was still bigger than the physical form, his face was strongly built; cut jawline, high cheek bones. His French ancestry shined through in his coloring and bone structure.
"Even Erwin thought-" he whispered, drinking again. "The boy just looked so much like Ezra. I had to- I... well." He stood, "I'm being ridiculous."
Bernell tilted her head, catching his gaze for the first time. "Are you though?"
He frowned, "Don't be cryptic."
She smiled, "You've known those boys for as long as you've known me." She replied, "And you and Ezra seem to have a similar temperament. You did like how capable he was with animals and he was holding your hand when we first arrived here." She felt nervous as his eyes bore into her.
"I-" he nodded, "I see." He sat back down. "I," he laughed.
It wasn't a particularly joyful sound, more harried and stressed. Like it had clawed its way up from his chest and fought to escape clenched teeth, but still Bernell's heart squeezed. He looked so much more with a smile on his face. The lines around his eyes eased, the dark circles seemed less prominent.
"I knew the kid wasn't..." He tapped his fingers on the table, running a hand through his hair again as he leaned back in the chair, legs spread wide. "I knew it wasn't your kid. But I got home and I worried. The only thing I could think of was-" He cut himself off, sitting up again.
His eyes roamed the room nervously. Bernell watched as his leg started bouncing, he picked at his nail.
"I made a mess." He whispered, standing.
"You did." Bernell watched him lazily. "Don't worry about it. I can-"
He had already moved into the kitchen and grabbed a rag from one of the cupboards. He cursed a little, standing on his toes to reach. Bernell bit her lip to keep from giggling. It was a reach for her to grab them from that shelf, it wa somehow humanizing to see him struggle with the same normal, mundane human trivialities that afflicted everyone else. Sipping from her cup she watched as he carefully removed his coat, hanging it and straightening the cloth to prevent wrinkles. Her heart caught in her chest as he rolled his sleeves up past the elbows. His forearms rippled with muscles even in the simple task. She forgot about her tea, watching him bend to the floor and mop up the melted snow and dirt he had tracked in. She should have offered to help.
But then he reached the stairs and the firelight hit his shirt in such a way that it was almost transparent and even though her neck was craned awkwardly she couldn't move. His body was beautiful. His skin tight, showcasing the solid muscle hidden underneath. Slowly she turned in her chair to ease the ache forming in her shoulders. She met his gaze.
"Enjoying the view?" His tone was dry but she could have sworn-
Bernell scoffed, "What view? I just see a rock scrubbing the floors." She sipped from her cup, have never leaving his body though he resumed cleaning, following his previous trail back down the stairs.
For added measure he washed the rag in the sink before refilling his cup and sitting again. He sighed, closing his eyes, letting his head fall back. Bernell's eyes traced the line of his jaw, trailing down his throat. She'd never really noticed before, but there was something mildly erotic about a man's neck, the straight lines, veins, Adams apple. Unconsciously her own hand went to her throat, tracing the lines as she looked. Her fingers rested at the base of her collar bone.
"So I'm an interesting rock to look at then?"
She didn't know when he'd started watching her. Bernell only knew that the look in his eyes was familiar; echoing her own desire. It was difficult to swallow, embarrassment and heat warred within her and she wished she could take off her robe.
Instead she readjusted, "why do you Vian so much?"
He straightened, gently using both hands to play with the tea cup. "I was raised in less than stellar conditions. I-I think that's a big influence." He looked away, rating his head in his hand as he drank. "I relent eating food that was so old, so bad, there were bugs in it. I didn't care back then, I didn't know better." He straightened, goading into his cup. "Everything was filthy. The air, the people, my clothes- it's hard to understand if you didnt go through it."
Bernell frowned and nodded, she could empathize, of course. But she'd never lived in such conditions. She couldn't imagine-
"I had bugs on my skin. In my hair. Mites, lice, fleas. I was malnourished, so you can imagine my body was not up to task. Rashes- I remember itching. All the time." His eyes went hazy, unfocused. "When I see messed, disorganization. When I get dirty," he snapped his eyes to her face, capturing her gaze, "I can feel those bugs on me. I can feel my skin on fire just beneath the surface. My body reacts physically. I can't think, I'm on edge. Like I'm waiting to self-destruct. It's..." He shook his head, "difficult to explain."
Bernell chuckled lightly, "I get the picture." She whispered. "You didnt have to tell me. You could have told me to shove off."
He blinked. "Yes." He reasoned slowly. "But I think we're past that point Bernell." He ruined his face. "I want to apologize. For before. I-"
"Don't." She stood, taking his cup from him. "Don't apologize. And... and don't leave tonight?"
Her heart leapt into her throat, she could hear her blood in her ears. She hadn't intended to ask him that. She wasn't planning on sleeping with him but it felt natural. And right. More than just physically.
Well.
Until he shook his head no.
