"Uh oh," Epps muttered. But it wasn't a worried 'uh oh', and there was a half-grin tugging at his mouth. "The doc's in one of his moods."
Epps gestured, and the small clump of humans turned to see. The Autobots were in a rather straggly half-circle and Ratchet was pacing up and down the line, giving each robot he passed a cool, calculating glance. The Autobots watched him warily, pretty much everyone but Optimus subtly leaning away when the medic stopped and planted his hands on his hips.
Abruptly, Ratchet jabbed a damning finger at the twins, who actually cringed back and tried to hide behind Sideswipe. "Missing doors," he snapped. "Popped tires. Skids, half of your face is severely damaged. Mudflap, you'll be lucky if you get full use of your arm back." His gaze swept up to Sideswipe. "Melted tires. Half of a hand missing. Shrapnel punctures in your fuel lines."
Down to the Arcee triplets, two of whom were holding the third across their laps, and his face softened a little. "Massive explosive damage. And I am not sure if Moonracer is alive because she is alive, or if you two are keeping her here." Back up to Jolt, and he hardened again. "I'd like to point out that your arm is not attached. At all. And your electro-core is causing EMP ripples that I'm sure I'd be able to feel in France."
Bumblebee cringed back, too, if only because Ratchet was working himself into a proper fury now, looming over the Camaro. "Teeth embedded in your dorsal armor, a badly scratched optic, one door half twisted off, acid burns on your hands, and how did you get a tree branched lodged in your leg?" He didn't let Bumblebee answer, whirling on Ironhide, who stared back impassively. "Missing cannon. Missing leg cabling. Missing entire plates of armor. Explosive damage close enough to your spark chamber that I may have to replace the thing entirely, and you were on fire at one point."
How someone Ratchet's size could seem to tower over someone like Optimus was a testament to the temper of a medic. Ratchet approached, all cold rage, at the very height of his rant. "Missing face plate. Broken fuel strainer. A crushed hand. Shrapnel in your arm and legs. Scorch marks where that Decepticon's armor was attached. A wrenched back strut. And not an hour ago, you had a hole in your chest large enough for me to stick my arm through and why in the slag are you smiling at me like that?!"
"I'm glad we're all alive, too, Ratchet," Optimus said gently, still smiling.
For a brief moment, Ratchet looked about ready to cry.
