Disclaimer: South Park and all characters in it are copyright Matt Stone and Trey Parker, not me.

A/N:

Hey everybody, sorry for the long impromptu hiatus. A lot of things happened, the most major of which is that my ferret, Pike, had to be hospitalized at the vet's and had to have surgery just around a week into the new year. Not fun. I've been doing commissions ever since to help with payments for his bills and medication, so I've had little time to do any writing, at all.

HOWEVER tomorrow is Valentine's Day (yes, tomorrow, it's still 11pm here, so shhhh). So here's my present to you. :D Happy Valentine's Day! You better appreciate it, since I don't like the holiday.

I also made a cutesie KxK picture for all of the KxK lovers who watch me/read my things, and I rarely do cutesie stuff, so this is BIG DEAL. Go to my profile to find the link for it.:D

I THANK MY REVIEWERS. You keep me alive! :D Review to feed the Zoshi!

OH HEY this is numbah 29, which only leaves 71 to go! :D Yay!

PLEASE NOTE: This is sort of a continuation of chapter 2: Tracking. Except there Kyle says that in a month they're going to Africa for Hammerheads. Change of plans, sorta... xD Just keep that in mind, mmmkay?

Love to:

Shannello

Theartistformerlyknownas

Nobodies Have Hearts

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Title: The K Squared 100

Author: Zoshi the Confused
Rating: Ranging, mostly PG-PG13

Category: South Park

Genre: General/Romance

Collection may contain: Shounen-Ai/Boy Love, Violence, Adult Situations, Swearing

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Ligan

Goods sunk in the sea, with a buoy attached in order that they may be found again.

He honestly didn't know how he got himself into these sorts of situations.

They couldn't have been in one of those floating cages, no. No floating, connected to the boat cages for them. Not for this story.

No, they had to be dropped 30 feet into dark waters, with the evening coming, and nothing but a thin steel line connecting them to the boat floating above their heads.

Kenny glanced up through the waters, seeing the bottom of the boat as nothing more than a dark shadow atop just slightly lighter colored waters. Evening was coming fast, but the cage was equipped with lights along its upper rim. Still, just a few meters from the cage the water was starting to get murky, mysterious. Dark shapes drifted just beyond eyesight, it seemed, fading in and out of reality.

"Is the camera working?"

The voice crackled in his ear, recognizable but spiked with static. He looked over at the other person sharing the cage with him.

Kyle's eyes shone with excitement behind his mask; although he couldn't see the lower part of the other man's face, the blonde was sure he was probably grinning as well. Dammit.

He brought the camera up to eye level, large and cumbersome from all the protective layers it was in. It could have been a little less massive, but this one combined both camera and camcorder, with shared features between the two settings. State of the art, that camera, but all it would take was one drop of water, and everything would be ruined.

He pressed a button, light flickered in the camera's overly-large viewfinder. The view of the cage was good, lit with the lights, but the waters past the cage bars were just as dark to its eye as they were to his. Another switch, and suddenly everything showed up in ghostly streaks of pale green. The cage, the bars, all shone brightly, but now the waters beyond them were lit up as well.

Those dark shapes which had so easily disappeared from view before were now visible, pale, long cylinders with triangular fins and pointed, wedge-shaped heads. Some of the shapes, drifting past with lazy strokes of their tails, presented sides with barely-there stripes.

They'd been chumming the waters for an hour or two before they'd come down; Kyle enthusiastically, Kenny much less so. It seemed their hard work had paid off.

"It's working," Kenny replied with a sigh, eyeing the waters outside the cage apprehensively.

"Great! It looks like we've got a lot to work with," Kyle gazed out past the water at the shapes beyond. He held a long stick in one hand, just around 7 feet of steel pole with a blunt-edged hook at the end. A rubber-topped canister hung suspended from his waist, dark inside it's cloudy plastic, topped full of various dead sea fish. His hand rested on the top, eagerly. "Ready?"

"Am I ever?" Kenny answered humorlessly. He saw the other man rolls his eyes, poke his hand through the slit in the rubber of the canister and pull out a fish. Easily he stuck it on the hook, shoved the pole out between the bars of the cage.

"We should try to get some close-ups now, while they're still a bit wary, and not so agitated. Once they start getting feisty it'll be too difficult," Kyle instructed. Kenny grimaced, raising the camera into position.

"I think I know what I'm doing here…" The blonde replied sharply, earning him a slightly surprised look from the redhead. He shook his head to keep the other man from saying anything and attempted to focus on his work.

Focus on taking pictures of sharks.

Pictures of Tiger Sharks, to be exact.

Pictures of sharks that could very well forget that they wanted fish and decided to try something new, something ensconced in a cage; something soft and vulnerable 30 feet below the surface of the water.

Shuddering, he tried to put shark attack statistics out of his mind.

"Here comes one now…" Kyle breathed, his voice more static than words over the two-way. Kenny focused the camera, aiming towards the fish at the end of the hook.

A dark shape in the water appeared as a growing smudge of ghost-green in the camera's viewfinder. Details resolved the closer it came: wedge-shaped head, mouth slightly open with jagged, mismatched teeth revealed. Mean eyes, fluttering gills. It turned, long triangular fins cutting through the water, the upper, longer fin of its tail moving only slightly in the water. Dark stripes stood out on its side; it was still a young tiger, smaller than the kind they (Kyle) had wanted to draw in.

Still, it was something, and it was moving in closer, its sharp nose having detected the fish's blood on the water. It moved past it first, bumping the small form with its side as it glided past. A flick of its tail sent it curving around, back towards the small meal waiting for it on the steel pole. Another shape appeared, growing suddenly brighter in the camera's display. The smaller shark burst forward, snapping the fish off of the hook and shooting into the water a spare few seconds before the larger shark reached it.

The newcomer seemed to eye the pole curiously, and Kyle waited as the shark drifted closer, nudged it with its sensitive nose. The pole apparently did not interest it further, and it swam off into the dark waters. More shapes were coming closer, and Kenny could see their forms clouding the display. Some were small, very small, either young tiger sharks, or some other species all together. Kenny couldn't tell, that was Kyle's specialization.

"Dammit." Kyle's voice growled through the two-way; he must've hit the button without realizing it. Kenny looked over to see what had happened, frowned. A pale pink mist was wafting through the water towards him.

"Kyle? What happened?" He looked at the other man, who seemed to be fumbling with the canister at his side.

"The top… I don't know, it ripped or something," Kyle's voice was a grunt as he struggled with the rubber top. Kenny watched him, frowning. Something was wrong with this situation, something was…

A near-quiet thud and the movement of the cage brought his attention back up front. A medium sized tiger shark was sliding past, gills wavering and tail flicking. Kenny watched it, followed it with the camera's lens. Suddenly the cage shifted again, this time from the back. Surprised, Kenny turned around to catch a glimpse of jagged, bent teeth gripping at the bars. The shark let go abruptly, its twisting sending the cage rocking in the water again.

"K…Kyle…" The blonde turned around, voice rising in distress.

"I noticed. Just stay calm." Kyle's voice sounded strained. He spared a glance up at the sharks that had come to circle closer, and Kenny could see his face pale behind his mask. "Dammit."

The redhead started struggling with the canister again, more fish blood clouding the water, now mixed with pieces of the fish themselves. Another slight thud, another movement of the cage. Kenny turned around, camera aimed in front of him, watching the ghostly shapes of sharks flooding across the camcorder's screen. The evening had deepened, and only the lights on the cage and the camera display could define what was out there.

"The boat." Kenny said suddenly, glanced upwards. He couldn't make out the boat's shape in the dark waters, but it was there. "We have to tell them to reel us in."

"Do that," Kyle answered quickly. "Do it, I need to get this thing off."

Kenny glanced at him as he contacted the boat captain. The redhead was unlatching the canister from his side, each movement sending more fish into the water. A lone silver fish floated in the water, reaching the bars, and suddenly there was movement beyond them, a flurry of fins and teeth that sent the cage rocking through the water. Kenny spun around, kicking out with his flippers to keep well away from the cage bars that were nearing him. He didn't want to be anywhere near the reach of those nasty jaws.

A sound fluttered through the water; the steel cable above them suddenly tightened. Kenny felt more than saw the cage shift upwards, just slightly.

"Yes!" The blonde was looking upwards happily, camera held before him, when Kyle finally got the canister free. He looked down to see the container floating out between the bars.

"Finally. We don't have to worry about them following us now…" Kyle said with a sigh. Kenny agreed silently, but something was being to bother him.

"Kyle?" He asked, looking over at the other man even as his reflexes kept the camera steady. The cage was slowly inching upwards in the water.

"Yeah?" The redhead replied, looking out in interest past the cage bars.

"You said this cage was safe, right?" Kenny continued, feeling a prickling starting at the back of his neck.

"Yes, it is. It's totally safe." The redhead said, turning finally to face the blond. "I just got rid of the canister so they wouldn't crowd the cage…that can get a little annoying… But seriously, there is no danger to us he—"

The cage jumped around them, a thud resounding through the water. Kenny blinked in disbelief to see the canister, still spouting the remnants of its contents, floating into the water of the cage. The cage shook again, and he turned his gaze back towards the direction his camera was facing.

"What the…" His voice left him; a shark maw, opened so wide that he thought it could swallow both his head and shoulders with no problem, was latched onto the cage bars. He looked away, anywhere, found himself looking at the camera's viewfinder. The sharks mouth was eerily highlighted, its teeth seemed to shine on the screen.

"Just stay calm." Kyle's voice crackled over the two-way, and Kenny whimpered.

"Stay calm? Stay calm?! That thing is—" He was interrupted by another shake of the cage. The shark jerked at the bars some more before letting go. Its tail lashed out as it swam off a bit, but the trail of fish and blood led directly to the cage.

It was huge; looking out into the water Kenny could still clearly see its tail when it head was already lost in the shadows of the water. It must have been at least twelve feet long, if not more. He could feel his hands shaking; the monster was coming around again towards the cage, tail flicking softly in the water behind it, turning slightly to glide alongside the cage bars.

"Let me just get this out of here again," Kyle's voice said in his ear; the redhead was grabbing at the canister. Kenny looked back at the nearing monster, face paling. The cage was moving upwards through the water, slowly but steadily, but to the blonde it might as well have been standing still.

Kyle had managed to grab the canister, and sent it floating out the opposite side of the cage. A small shark dodged for it out of the darker waters, suddenly brushed aside by a larger shark that caught the container in strong jaws. A large cloud of blood and bits of fish mushroomed in the water, darkening the area around the two sharks. Almost immediately two more darted in, dancing around the medium sized shark with the canister. It held the container for a moment, swimming a few feet with the cloud of fish blood floating behind it, before it let go. Another shark darted in, catching it at the edge of the rubber and pulling it open even more. Another few sharks of various sizes dashed in, one by one attacking the canister, some even rolling in the water, all thinking that the canister itself was some dead animal until the moment they attacked it.

Kenny realized he was recording this escalating feeding frenzy, and spun around back towards the direction the monster shark had been coming from. From the corner of his eye he could see Kyle peering out from behind the bars curiously. The water around them was teeming with sharks now, sharks attacking the bits of fish that still remained in the water, sharks attacking other, smaller sharks that had gotten in their way. Sharks all agitated and intent on eating whatever it was they could grab a hold of.

Kenny glanced up towards the boat again. Was it his imagination, or could he see already see the lights of the boat's cabin reflecting off of the water's surface? He looked back down in time to notice a large shape rapidly growing larger on the camera's display.

"Uh, Kyle, I think he's coming ba—"

The shock that rocked the cage this time sent it jerking and dancing around them. Kenny pushed away from the bars he suddenly found himself next to. The camera display was full of nothing but teeth, teeth glaring bright in the night vision, teeth crunching down on the bars of the cage.

He looked up in shock, the breath knocked out of hum by the sight before him. The camera's display was tiny in comparison, miniscule; it couldn't capture the sheer mad size of the jaws open before him. Teeth the size of soap bars clenched around the bars. Pale pink flesh stretched beyond them. There was no talk of eyes or nose, or anything other than rows of serrated, unnatural looking teeth.

This monster was larger than the last, stronger, and it thrashed with all its might, tail whipping wildly behind it. The cage jumped and shook on the steel line, dancing in the water. Kenny found himself horribly entranced by that mouth, those teeth, those lines of sharp, angled triangles, row after row after row. He felt cold, cold. He thought he could see the bars bending. He thought he could hear them squealing as they loosened on their screws.

Kyle was moving, he could just barely see him out of the corner of his eye; he was moving, his hands fiddling with something on his utility belt, but Kenny couldn't see him well. He could see the bars, bending. He could see the teeth crunching through them, coming closer. Closer. He could feel the teeth on his skin. He could feel them…


The night air was cold on his wet face. He stared at boat's deck, teeth chattering. He felt cold, as cold as he had felt down below. A sea breeze had picked up since the evening, and it fluttered his half-damp hair, sending tendrils of ice down his neck and spine. He shuddered, wrapping his arms tighter around his legs, pressing his mouth against his knees to keep from whimpering.

There were voices nearby, but he couldn't focus on them. Drops of water were gathering at the tip of his nose, wobbling there each time he shook. He was finding it hard to breathe with his mouth pressed so tightly to his wetsuit-covered knees, each breath was a struggle, but he couldn't pull away.

A hand was on his shoulder suddenly, and he jerked away at the unexpected touch. The hand didn't move away, instead traveled across his back to his other shoulder as the person sat down next to him.

"I… I think everything's… everything's on there," The blonde said, his voice muffled somewhat. He swallowed thickly, "Just… do whatever. Whatever…"

"Kenny…" Kyle's voice was soft, just next to him, but he shook his head.

"No. No." The shark's jaws were in front of him again; the teeth glistened. He shuddered violently, felt the comforting hand grip his shoulder. "No. Never. Never."

"I'm so sorry…" Kyle's voice was even closer now, soft and sad. His other arm wedged itself between the blondes knees and chest, his hands meeting on Kenny's other side. He pulled the man close to him. "I'm sorry, I didn't know that was going to happen."

"I… I shouldn't have… never… the sharks…" Kenny whimpered, shaking. He was still so cold; Kyle's touch couldn't reach him. "Never… never… no…"

Kyle shushed him softly, holding him close. One hand reached up to brush the blonde's hair out of his face.

"It's all right, we're out of there now," The redhead murmured, voice low and soft. "Everything's all right…"

"I can't… Kyle, I can't… I can't do this anymore…" Kenny leaned into the other man's body, desperately almost. "I can't do this anymore."

"What… Do what?" Kyle sounded surprised; Kenny felt the redhead's arms tighten around him.

"This. The photography. The documentaries." Kenny closed his eyes, breath coming fast, but had to open them again; the shark was back, the teeth. The teeth. "I can't. The elephants. The hyena's. The tigers and the snakes and… and… always. It's always…"

He whimpered again, could feel the moisture coming to his eyes unbidden. Kyle stayed silent next to him, holding him. It was comforting; it was reassuring. He was a constant. But was he? Kenny wasn't sure, suddenly. He wasn't sure of anything.

A long moment passed. Kenny had gotten quite comfortable as he was, listening to Kyle's heart beat through the wetsuit he still had on. His heartbeat was calming down; he was calming down. The shudders shook him less, then not at all. He didn't want to think, not about what had happened. Not about what could happen. Not about tomorrow or the next day or even the next moment. He just didn't want to think.

"It's all right, Kenny," Kyle said suddenly, arms tightening to press the blond closer to him. "That's all right."

"What?" Kenny asked, puzzled and caught off guard. He tried to pull away, just enough to look Kyle in the face, but the redhead held him tight to his chest.

"I… I didn't know just how much it bothered you." Kyle continued, his voice wavering slightly. "How much it took out of you… I'm sorry…"

"But… it's not your fault, Kyle…" Kenny answered, not quite understanding. "I mean, I agreed to come along, right?"

He felt the redhead chuckle, and then he was being pushed away slightly and his head was being tilted up. He just managed to catch a glimpse of glittering gray eyes before he was being kissed. He tasted salt first, but then Kyle's tongue touched his lips, and he opened them eagerly, meeting it with his own, pushing back against the redhead. His hand found Kyle's head, his fingers twisted in the auburn curls. Warmth was spreading through him finally, growing, melting the ice of fear from his muscles and his bones.

Kyle broke their kiss, his breath hot on Kenny's face. His eyes were deep, shining, and a grin touched his lips.

"This didn't happen overnight, Ken," He said, voice husky, "So don't lie to me…"

Kenny felt the tendrils of warmth, of comfort, that Kyle's words sent through him. He eyed him thoughtfully, wondering just how early in their joint-careers the redhead had caught on; wondered if he himself knew when it had all begun. Shifting his position, he wrapped his arms around the other man's neck and leaned in, forehead to forehead.

"All right… all right, just because I didn't want you traveling to dangerous places all by yourself…" He muttered, blue eyes meeting gray. "…doesn't mean that I didn't have a choice…"

Kyle smiled softly, but stayed quiet, and Kenny was glad for that. It didn't take a genius to see just what had ruled the blonde's decision making processes, and what still did.

"We'll take a few months off then, hm?" Kyle said, still smiling. Kenny's eyes widened in surprise.

"We?" The blonde stared at the other man.

"Yes, we," Kyle repeated, placing a gentle kiss on the tip of the blonde's nose. "Just imagine how much time we'd have to do things together…"

Kenny thought he detected a certain proposition in that statement, a hint at a certain level that their still-young relationship hadn't yet reached. He smiled back, and pressed his lips against the redhead's. All right, a few months of this… and more… and he should be back in form. Yeah. He should be just fine.