A/N: Thank you to all my readers. I am hoping my pacing is fine and that you can slowly start to see changes in Severus. I will be busy with work the next few weeks, but look forward to any feedback. I will try to update my profile with the next chapter posting date, but I am aiming to have it done in two weeks. I am excited for the next few chapters coming up, but needed some set-up. As always, if you have any feedback I look forward to it.
Disclaimer: All characters and copyright belong to J.K. Rowling
At breakfast, I grabbed a discarded Daily Prophet from some students who left it on the table. For the past few weeks, there had been unexplained disappearances which caused tension throughout Hogwarts. Two students families were directly affected, and the school started to murmur about murderers and cults. I usually would have ignored the rumors, but I knew the sinister reality. I read the articles in horror as that dark wizard's plans were starting to unfold.
Luckily, the Slytherins that were marked had some sense of preservation and once the articles started to appear, they stopped their recruitment. To my chagrin, that meant that the marked Death Eaters at the school were more tight-knit. While I usually was left alone, they started to 'encourage' me to hang out with them more. Apprehensively I found myself following the group around the school.
I was annoyed as we headed to the Quidditch Pitch. Darren and two others in the group were part of the Quittich team, and that meant I would have to go to some of their annoying practices. As we got to the field, it turned out that the Gryffindor Team were finishing up their practices slot. I headed to the stand hearing the two captains fight over the practice time.
I had brought a book for Slughorn's essay, not wanting to waste my time completely. I found a quiet area in the stands and started to read the text. As I was trying to finish a paragraph I was interrupted by a loud noise from underneath the stands. Annoyed I headed down there, and Black and Pettigrew were playing a game of Exploding Snap. I overhead Black laugh "Wormtail you have to be more careful. The whomping willow almost turned you into a pancake." I saw Pettigrew's face turn crimson. What were they doing there? I concluded they were messing around as usual. I was about to walk away to find a quieter place to read until Lupin cheerfully smiled at me. "Oh hey Severus didn't notice you there, you want to join?" Why was he always like this?
I noticed as immediately Pettigrew started to look nervous. I shook my head at Lupin. "No, I was checking the noise. I'm going to try to find somewhere quiet to study."
Lupin chuckled "Good luck with that, I gave up on that here, there's too much noise. Do you want to study in the library later?"
An explosion came from Pettigrew's hands. "Really Moony?"
I looked back, the other Slytherin's may have been wondering where I was. I looked away "I-I can't."
Lupin said, "I haven't seen you in the library or studying on the grounds. Have you been alright?"
I glared "And why would my business be of interest to you?" I spat the last word out. Hoping that would make him back off. As I started to back away, I felt my back press into someone. I looked up and Potter was right behind me. He looked tired and a bit annoyed.
"Hey guys, guess Slytherin has the field now."
Black and Pettigrew started to stand up. It was then that I realized that I had trapped myself. You idiot. Never leave yourself open to attack. For a brief second my hands twitched as I went to reach for my wand, even though it would be fruitless if they fought me. I stopped as I read their body language. Black and Lupin were nonchalantly putting away the cards, Lupin was rifiling through his bag, and Potter was casually leaning on his broom. If I wasn't keenly aware of my breath, I would have sighed in relief.
Potter asked, "Hey Snape what are you doing here anyway?" I was wary, but his tone was not aggressive. I expected him to still be upset, but I had noticed that Lily had returned to her joyful self, so perhaps he had forgotten.
"Well, I'm here with my-" They weren't my friends, but what else could I call them. "With the other Slytherins" I finished.
He looked back at the Quidditch field, the Slytherins starting their practice session. He wrinkled his nose. "Why are you hanging out with them?"
I am one of them whether I like it or not. No, I couldn't tell Potter anything. That would lead to too many questions.
"When did I need your permission with who I hang out with?" It came out more curt than I intended.
Potter looked flustered at my question. For the past five years, they had never been interested if I had any friends. Actually, they seemed to prefer it as they meant I was easier to pick on. He stammered "Well, things are different now. We're technically brothers." This was probably some Gryffindor trait of being protective. He naively thought you could rely on others.
I still wasn't sure how to respond to him. Potter seemed annoyed already, probably from having their practice session cut short. I decided backing down would be the best option. "I'm fine, I need to get back to working on Slughorn's essay anyway."
I saw Potter's eyes go wide, and he ran over to Lupin. "Moony, did you finish the assignment?" Potter said desperately.
I rolled my eyes and walked away. Some things would never change.
I was hoping that the meeting with the Dark Lord would be postponed because of the increased tension at the school, but my hopes were dashed as the Slytherins did not go to their dorms. Around eleven they silently put on their dark robes and headed out of the common room.
I had the calming draft in my robe pocket. If there was any time for it now was time. I quickly quaffed it. I felt the wave of anxiety ebb as I followed the group down the darkened halls of Hogwarts. It will be fine. I tried to steel myself. It was worse retracing my steps as I knew the evil that awaited me, unlike last time when naive curiosity drew me in.
We arrived at the cemetery, now that it was later in the year the leaves were starting to drop and there was a chill in the air. I immediately saw Lucius again, he standing up confidently greeting the newcomers. I copied the others and pulled down my hood and immediately knelt to the being that pledged myself to. I looked over to the new Slytherins who had joined this group. What did they find appealing? The power? Or were they also here for the sake of self-preservation?
The Dark Lord slowly walked inspecting us. If it weren't for the potion, I think I wouldn't have been able to keep a straight face. I heard the teeth chattering from the boy next to me, so luckily I knew I wasn't the only one scared. The ones who were marked last time knew the torture that the Dark Lord could cause.
The three new boys were kneeling, and he went up to them. I tried to keep my head down afraid of catching the eye of the Dark Lord, but my curiosity got the best of me.
He spoke, "Welcome, I am sure that you have read about our latest deeds from my Death Eaters."
I heard a communal "Yes my Lord." from the unmarked Slytherins.
"What you are witnessing is the dawn of a new era." As if one cue Malfoy had brought out a man this time. For a second I closed my eyes tightly until I realized that I couldn't show any emotion. I wouldn't be able to get away with another distraction this time.
I watched as the Dark Lord dragged his wand across the man's body, tauntingly. "This man decided that mudblood's were worth saving. He tried to protect his mudblood family." I saw a sinister grin. "And my dear Lucius here petrified him while we killed his family in front of him." The Dark Lord gave a laugh that send shivers down my spine. This was way worse than the papers. If they knew there would be outright panic!
I saw tears form in the man's eyes. Now would be the time for him to beg for his life. Instead, to my surprise the man snarled "You lunatics! You'll never get away with this! Someone wi-"
The Dark Lord cast a crucio and I saw the man spasm and scream. The Dark Lord seemed annoyed and simply said "Lucius, the captive is too loud."
Lucius performed a silencing charm and I watched as the man silently screamed. No one moved, and we all knelt there in complicit silence as the man tore out his hair trying to get rid of the pain. I had no idea how long the man suffered, but finally the Dark Lord lifted his curse.
He nodded to Lucius who had also got rid of the silencing charm. I realized that it didn't matter as the man's voice was now hoarse from his screams that we couldn't hear.
The Dark Lord then stood over the man. "Now, how do you feel about your actions."
There was no way the man could have any more will. I knew the pain of the curse. To my amazement and dread, I saw the man spit at the Dark Lord; a mixture of blood and phlegm. I wanted to shake my head, but somewhere deep inside myself I admired his courage. I could just imagine the satisfaction I would feel if I could look at my enemy's in the eye and spit on their pride. However, that was not me.
The man's reaction didn't seem to surprise the Dark Lord. Instead, he went over to us. "This will be a lesson to you all. Those who do not conform to the new world order, do not deserve to be here."
As simply as casting lumos I heard the words "Avada Kedavra" come from his lips. I couldn't believe it could be so simple, but it was. I glanced at the man who glared at the Dark Lord. In those brief seconds, I didn't see fear in his eyes. Instead, I saw a passion that I couldn't comprehend, and just like that I saw his eyes glaze over as he slumped to the floor.
The Dark Lord towered over the unmarked Slytherins and I could only guess their horror and fear. They may have just come to the realization that this was not a game. There was no way they could back out now, and I watched as he marked them. I almost felt sorry as he proceeded to cast crucio on his own newly marked followers.
Once he was done with his initiation, Lucius spoke up. "Severus, I am surprised you are taking this rather well." I was taking it well!? If I didn't take that calming draft I don't think that even I would have been able to control my fear. That is when I realized my mistake. I quickly glanced at my classmates and saw the look of raw fear. Even Muldoon's ruddy face had paled. We had all just witnessed murder and I had retained my collected features.
The Dark Lord strode over and curiously looked at me. He moved his head and it reminded me of a snake searching for his next kill. He looked at me with cold calculating eyes. "Severus, I remember you. Last time you took the crucio quite well."
My hands trembled and I quickly said "T-thank you, my lord." I had tried my best not to get cursed tonight, and it seems like my hopes were starting to fade away. I was staring at the ground, noticing the blood still stained on his robes.
"Look at me boy." I heard the Dark Lord snap.
Immediately I looked up and felt something strange. Once he said the word 'boy' images of my father started to appear. I was back at Spinner's End and smelt alcohol and blood. I felt my thoughts moving quickly as if my mind was a book and he was quickly scanning for a certain chapter. I saw my mother crying in the kitchen. I saw Mrs. Potter, and the thoughts seemed to speed towards Mr. Potter. My thoughts moved to the office of Mr. Potter and lingered there. I remembered that conversation that seemed so long ago in the office when Mr. Potter said "I am going to teach you new rules." Instead of Mr. Potter's voice, it was my father's. That voice I thought long dead was alive in my mind. Father is about to beat me again. I cleared my mind, preparing my body and mind for the pain.
I was jolted to the present and felt the crisp air against my skin. What just happened?
I looked up at the Dark Lord who looked irritated. "It seems you are not completely compliant yet. I am disappointed."
What did I do? As he started to get closer to me, I realized that I was about to be hit with a crucio. To my relief Lucius quickly headed over "My lord, there's a patrol." The Dark Lord gave me a sinister sneer. "Severus, I will not forget. Next time we meet you will fully submit."
What did he mean?
I didn't have time to think as I watched them apparate. Darren started to lead us back the way we came before we were caught. I figured that Hogwarts was not the only place that was on edge.
It was only once we reached Hogwarts did we stop to take a breath. As we rested, I tried to think about what the Dark Lord meant. To my dread, I came to the conclusion that the Dark Lord was going through my thoughts. My pace slowed and I started to fall behind when I realized that if I wasn't careful the Dark Lord could find out that I was a half-blood. No that couldn't happen. The Dark Lord easily killed that man who was protecting his family. He could easily kill me. There had to be some way to protect myself and my mind, and I would have to figure it out soon.
