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-The song was Blue October- Hate Me

Alien

Chapter 29: Love me or Hate me?

"You'll tell me?" Bill said in shock and wonder. I was too wound up about everything, I just nodded. I didn't know what was going to happen anymore. By me being here with the people I love was giving Bryan something to target. I wasn't going to be stupid and leave though, these people would protect me right? I was just so shaken up and scared, I didn't want Bryan to hurt anyone, because for once in my new life I was beginning to be happy.

"Why does he have to fuck up everything?" I cried into my knees. I was shaking and whimpering. Bill hugged me tighter to his chest. I couldn't let him see my face, I was embarrassed for having to break down in the first place. Everything just felt so good to let out, like I was crying for all the right reasons now. I'm still surprised no panic attacks have happened and they should most definitely stay away.

"Who sweetie?" Bill cooed. I'm pretty sure he didn't know what to think about my potty mouth. Because he'd better believe that it gets really bad. Especially when I'm scared or stressing. I just shook my head and leaned into Bill's side, letting his warmth sooth me. He sighed. "It's alright, you can tell me about it later if you'd like? I wont pressure you." I could hear the forgiveness in his sad little voice. I heard a door slam snap me out of my thinking.

Dad was here.

I hopped up and waited, fidgeting with my hands, they couldn't stay still long enough. When I saw the look on his face I knew that Simone didn't tell him I was talking. He looked too clueless and to be honest a little pissed off at the least. He shut the front door a little hard and the windows shook. He took a deep calming breath and gave me a hard stare. "You cant just call me home Abbs, do you know how hard it is to find a replacement really quick?" He palmed his face and gave a frustrated sigh. "This had better be good."

I sighed. "We have to talk." I said in a clipped 'I'm not playing around' tone.

His eyes bulged out of his head and he gave a great smile. "Oh my god! Are you finally talking?" He went from a shitty mood to a very happy one. "You have got to be kidding me!"

"Does this look like a face that's kidding?" I'm pretty sure I had on a poker face, bored looking with bloodshot wet eyes.

"Don't get all snippy with me damn." He shot back. I crossed my arms and gave him a stern look. "Ok, I get that your talking, but I have to get back to work. Malorie is taking over, and she's new." Malorie couldn't cook apparently. He started to back up towards the door.

I gasped and lunged for his arm. "We have to talk." I said again. "In private please?" What was up his butt today? I get that he was just called away from work and all but he has to hear me out. I had to make sure everyone was safe.

He sighed. "Ok, but make it quick." I rolled my eyes and gave Bill an apologetic look. I lead my dad into the kitchen and Simone cleared out, going to the living room with the boys. When we were alone he talked. "What? What is so important that you had to call me away from work for?" Why was he so mad at me? Tears welled in my eyes but I pushed them back. I inhaled to talk but he cut me off. "Please hurry the hell up! I haven't got time for whatever it is…"

"Well if you would listen to me I could tell you!" I yelled in his face. I was getting so fed up with him. A stinging sensation on the side of my cheek reminded me that I should never yell at an adult figure. He slapped me. I was in the wrong, I shouldn't have yelled at him. Tears ran down my cheeks.

His eyes held shock. "Abby… You know I didn't mean it. I'm sorry." He tried to put a comforting hand on my shoulder but I shrugged him away. "Fine. I'm fucking leaving." He took off towards the living room. I followed somewhat behind him, I couldn't let him go. The Kaulitz family looked really shocked. Like they knew what happened in the kitchen or something. My dad put his hand on the doorknob to flee from the tension.

I practically leapt forward and gave him a hug. "Daddy please don't leave me…" I whimpered into his side. I felt his resolve crumble as his muscles slackened and he wrapped his arms around me. I haven't hugged him in so many years, like given him a real daughter father hug. "I'm so sorry…" I trailed off. And somehow we both ended up crying hard onto one another.

"I'm sorry too baby." He stared into my eyes, wiping my eyes. "What is it you want to talk to me about. I wont get snippy I promise…" He gave a little laugh to let the tension out, too bad I was about to pack it back in the atmosphere.

I put both my hands on the side of his face and gave him a look of hopelessness and a look of grief. "Bryan…" I whispered. Not hearing my own voice, but hoping he could hear me perfectly. I don't think I could say it again right now. My voice was closing up in my throat. The tears were hot and sticky in my throat.

He gave me a look of confusion. "What do you mean?" He said slowly. I think little by little he was catching on, but not enough to really know what I was talking about. I sucked in a breath.

"He's back." I said quietly, I could feel the air leaving my body and I was beginning to get dizzy. He was holding me up, with his hands wrapped around the tops of my arms.

"Who's back dear?" I think he was only wanting my confirmation on this whole situation. He knew. He had to have, because his face was paling and he wasn't looking at me anymore. He finally understood.

"Please don't make me repeat it…" I whispered. I couldn't think about him right now or I may actually faint. I held out the note Bryan left in our kitchen. My dad started gripping tighter and tighter as he read it. His eyes were narrowed. He must had had to read it multiple times just like I had to.

He sucked in a breath. "Where the hell did you find this?"

"The kitchen. But before you get pissed, I might as well give you another reason…" He waited for me to finish. "He's our new art teacher too!" I exclaimed throwing my arms out in wild directions. I felt Bill's presence at my side immediately.

"You mean Mr. Davids? Or whatever his name was. Why did he have you in such a scared mood?" He looked thoughtful then rephrased himself. "I mean, I know I'm being a little nosey, but you're my best friend and well…" I nodded, I agreed. He's been here for me through anything, besides the Heather incident, but friends are bound to have their occasional arguments.

"Remember when I told you about my old art teacher?" I said a little far off. Before I could finish my dad cut me off.

"I'm going to call the police, Simone, Tom? Will you all come with me? I think I'm going to need you guys." My dad was in tears. Tom didn't object because he was clearly freaked out enough by me talking. But now the cops were involved. Now he's going to be out of it.

They left the room and Bill took my hand and led me to the couch. "Yeah, I remember him, the asshole."

I couldn't believe he didn't catch on fast enough. "Bill!" I said exasperatedly. "Bryan!" I threw up my hands. "Art teacher!" When he sat there clueless and looked at me like I was insane I finally decided to dumb it down for him. "Bryan is our art teacher at school. The long term sub. Understand?"

His face paled. "Oh Abby!" He said sadly, bringing my face to his chest. "I wish you would have told me sooner, so I could have done something to help save you…"

I scoffed. "There's nothing you could have done Bill. I don't know what I would have done if he were to hurt you, I think I might kill myself…"

"Please don't talk like that lovely…" He said sadly. "Why on earth is he here? What do you think?" He said.

"He's here for me." I stated. "The murderer needs to go to jail."

"Wait." Bill stopped me from my Bryan rant. "You say he's a murderer… What did he do?" He sounded like he didn't want to know, or as if he was scared for me.

I sighed. "I suppose its time to tell you huh? The reason for why I never talked and stuff." I kept both his hands in my lap, giving them a squeeze every now and them.

"Before you begin do you think you'll continue to talk?" He said, and I couldn't deny the excitement I heard in his voice.

I nodded. "I might as well."

"Ok, you may continue." He gave me a kiss on the lips.

I sighed, I brought up all the memories I have put away for the longest. I rifled through my thoughts, thinking about where to start off first. "It was a normal night, felt normal at least. And before you say something, this was a few months after I was out of the hospital for the Kiln burn." I sighed. "Anyways, my dad was working late, and everyone was asleep. I think it was planned for me to be asleep too, but I just couldn't doze off for some reason. I had the weirdest feeling about that night…"

*FLASHBACK*

I could have sworn I heard a noise, but I brushed it off thinking it was our faithful dog Perro. Original I know. Either way he's a wiener dog and I don't think he could take on an intruder to save our lives. He would whine in fear and scamper away. Plus if there was someone in the house I know he'd at least bark, he hates strangers. I went back to just staring at the ceiling when I heard the noise again. I was going to have to investigate. I tossed off my covers.

I regretted not changing out of my skinny jeans before I laid down. It was hard to move in them. I smelled smoke, I sure hope nothing was catching on fire. I threw open my door and Perro did a sissy hop and jumped into my arms, he was whining away. Something was wrong. I had to make sure Andy and mom were okay. I tucked him safely under my arm. I stopped in my tracks as no other than Bryan stepped out in front of me.

I gasped and backed up. "You're wasting your time. They're all dead." He said sadistically.

Tears grew in my eyes. Perro was trying to wriggle free but I wasn't putting him down. Especially since the house was burning. "You're wrong they aren't dead." I tried to move past him but he caught onto my arm and tossed my in my room.

"Bullshit they aren't. Don't you wonder where the smoke is coming from? I fucking slit their throats and I'm burning the evidence." He said harshly. "I only want you now."

"Why did you hurt them?" I cried. This couldn't be happening.

"I didn't hurt them babe." He said sickly. "I bet they barely felt anything as they chocked to death on their…"

"Stop!" I yelled. "Just stop. What the fuck do you want from me?" I cried, squeezing the life out of my dog. Poor guy.

"I have two choices Abby." He breathed in my ear. He pulled me up off the floor by my hair and held his knife to my throat. "You can come with me and be mine for the rest of your life, or…" He trailed off running his nose up the length of my jaw bone, smelling me, tasting me. I stifled a shudder, knowing it would only be worse for me. "Or you can stay here to burn with your pathetic family." He smirked. "Don't you think I haven't forgotten about your dad. I made sure that he's had a little brake problem…"

I gasped, trying to wriggle free from his death grip. "You didn't!" I exclaimed. All the while I was sweating more and more. The fire was closing in I bet.

He yanked my hair and I yelped. "Choose you fucking cunt!" He screamed in my ear.

"I'm not fucking going with you!" I yelled back equally mad. You should have seen the fire in his eyes. They were full of anger and betrayal, like he couldn't believe that I chose my poor broken family over him. Well he'd better believe it, because no way in hell would I ever choose that man. I'd rather die.

"Fine." He spat. "Have it your way." He tossed me and Perro down on the ground, I almost lost consciousness but I fought strongly against it. "Too bad I cant get a goodbye fuck in before I kill you." He sneered. He slammed the door and I heard him light the match that would be the end of me. I saw the fire peek out under my door. Bryan was definitely gone by now.

I was going to die.

I never thought that being burned alive was how I was going to die, and up until these last few moments I would say I was beginning to move on. Now Bryan had to come back and be that possessive teacher that he always was. Why didn't I see this coming? I'm sorry mom and Andy. I'm sorry I wasn't good enough, I'm sorry I didn't care about locking the doors. I'm sorry I attracted that sick bastard in the first place. I should have just killed myself when I had the chance. I should have saved my family.

The fire started to consume my door and Perro was in a barking frenzy, we were going to burn out together. I have definitely made an impact on everyone at my school, they knew about the Bryan molesting incident. It was in all the papers. As I lay here with the flames about to consume myself a quote ran through my head: It's better to burn out than to fade away. And that I did. I made myself known, but for all the wrong reasons. All of a sudden I was struck with a pang of worry.

What was my dad going to do?

That was for some reason enough to pull me out of my reverie. I couldn't leave my dad in this world alone, I had to be here to comfort him. I had to save myself even though I couldn't save my twin and mom. I forcefully threw my desk chair out the window and tossed Perro safely in the bushes, he took off at a fast wiener dog waddle down the street and out of sight. That's what I get for saving my dog, some faithful companion. I made sure a smile stayed off my face as I skillfully climbed out my glass chard strewn window. I had to get help.

We didn't live around many people, and the ones that were home were out of town on holiday or out on the town. I had to get out of here to find help. I was coughing like crazy, trying to get the smoke out of my lungs and the tears were falling freely, blurring my vision slightly. I wish I had my phone with me, it would save me the trouble. I ran towards my red Audi, thanking god when I had the keys hanging off my belt loop. I didn't find use of the seat belt as I put the car in drive and sped off towards town. My luck. Rain.

And then everything was in slow motion.

To my surprise Bryan was hiding out in the backseat of my car. And by the way, why the hell didn't I put a seatbelt on? "You fucking bitch, you're supposed to die!" He yelled jumping towards me, yanking my steering wheel out of my hands and sending us spiraling towards a ditch and a tree. We were both tugging on the wheel, and the rain was making it uglier. This was NOT supposed to happen. I kept asking myself what did I do to deserve this…

When my Audi came in contact with the tree I was launched out of my seat, cracking the side of my face on the windshield. I didn't die though. That's how the scar on the side of my face originated. I was bleeding out, my body had fallen over the steering wheel and on the dashboard, I was conscious of sound, but I couldn't feel anything, I was drifting away into the nothingness that was my life. Bryan however spoke before I could be grateful enough to die.

"Never talk about this incident, leave my name out of it. If the cops turn up at my door, I will be back for your dad. Fuck you ok? I'll fucking kill him and everyone that you come in contact with you pathetic emo bitch…" I'm sure there was more to his rant but I don't recall.

I was dying…

*END FLASHBACK*

Bill was in tears, he was literally holding onto me bawling his eyes out. I was shockingly holding on, no tears and no attacks. My dad was looking at me from down the hall, his eyes were shining like he was proud of me for finally being able to open up. No amount of money spent on therapists could do that. I just needed time and the right amount of support and I had plenty. For that I was thankful.

Bill silently traced the scar on my face with more force, like he was trying to dig into my past to get things to work out differently. I placed my hand on his and gave him the sweetest of expressions. I loved this boy. I used the pads of my thumbs to wipe away his tears and brought his head gently to my chest. I comforted him. I didn't know what to do, what should I say? Because it sure as hell isn't going to be alright. Instead I waited for him to speak to me first.

"Oh Abby…" He started off. We were the only ones left in the house, the guys went to the police station since the phone lines were currently down because it's storming. His pain filled chocolate eyes made contact with mine. "You're such a strong person, I don't know how you do it."

I playfully rolled my eyes, trying to lighten the dark sickly heavy mood. "I don't see how I did it either. If I didn't meet you I doubt I'd be alive right now."

He sighed. "Please don't talk like that…"

"Well it's the truth. I've tried killing myself, but no matter what I do I just keep waking up. In some ways I think I'm meant to be here, taking care of my dad. Being with you…" I blushed. "I was finally starting to realize how lucky I had it, compared to what else could have happened. Then Bryan waltzes back in my life, probably to finish up the job."

"I'm so sorry… you didn't deserve any of it you know. He was a sick, sick man. And thank you for finally opening up to me…" He was going to say something but decided against it and waited for me to talk.

I gave a sigh of relief. "I'm glad I finally opened up too, it was weighing down on me. I felt like my chest was going to explode from all the anxiety if I didn't tell someone what happened soon. And it wasn't as bad as I thought it would be." I gave a faint smile.

"Safe to say for yourself, I'm a mess over here." He gave a small tear filled laugh.

I grabbed his face gently and brought it to my face and kissed him passionately. I needed to be close. I couldn't do it anymore, I needed him. I wanted him. I wanted to be with him for the rest of my life. He was my other half. He must have noticed my hesitation in the kiss. "What is it lovely?" He was breathing heavy, and it brought me joy that I could do that to him.

"You might not like me anymore because of this…" I trailed off because he cut me off.

He rolled his eyes. "I could never not like you. You mean to much to me." He gave me an assuring kiss on the lips.

"Well…" I hesitated. I took a good amount of air in my lungs. Now or never. "I love you Bill… I am totally head over heels in love with you…"

I just hoped he felt the same.

:3

Well I hope the wait was worth it? : ) And like I said, I recently started school and I'm not going to be able to update until I get into the knack of being a Senior. It's so tiring! Lol. Review please :D Only a few more chappys to go. The lyrics are a throwback, Def Leppard inspired me since I saw them in concert Friday ;) Pretty amazing if I don't say so myself :]

LYRICS :D

- Hey shout, summertime blues, Jump up and down in my blue suede shoes, Hey kid, rock and roll, rock on! And where do we go from here, Which is the way that's clear. Still looking for that blue jean, baby queen Prettiest girl I ever seen…

REVIEW :D :D