CHAPTER TWENTY-NINE

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Yoshiko was quiet and withdrawn for the next several weeks, spending much of her time secluded in her chambers. I didn't think that I would be as scared as this, she thought as she looked out over the valleys and mountains. But her heart was racing like a dying bird's, whenever she thought about this strange, looming castle, and the unfamiliar life she had suddenly been thrown into.

I can never go back, she thought. Never.

The Dog-Lord tried to comfort her when he could, but even her lover couldn't drive away her unhappiness. Sesshomaru didn't help -- he ignored her much of the time. And when forced to acknowledge her, he did so with a sort of icy civility. The little green creature that went everywhere with him wasn't so pleasant -- Yoshiko heard him calling her "that wretched human" when he didn't know she could hear.

A part of her knew that it was for the best -- to go back to humans would be to forfeit the Dog-Lord forever. And I could never leave my baby, she thought. But there was an ache in her heart when she thought of her family, and how they wouldn't be able to see her baby.

Why couldn't they understand? she thought, looking out over the expanse of trees and mountains.

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The Dog-Lord kept his distance, often spending long hours racing across the skies in his dog form, or locked in his own chambers. A part of him wanted to hold Yoshiko again, and comfort her as best he could. He had known this would be hard for her, but he hadn't known how hard.

And a feeling of guilt clung to him when he thought of her homesickness. Damn, he thought. This is what I didn't want for her... I didn't want her to be alone.

But there was no turning back. Her family had seen Yoshiko run straight toward him, and now they would know that she had willingly run away with a demon. And he also knew that at best, among humans their child would be a reviled outcast. At worst, he would die within an hour of being born. And Yoshiko knew that as well as he did.

The Dog-Lord sat down heavily by the window. She said that she wanted to stay with him and their child. But now he wondered if she had changed her mind, even after it was too late. Too late...

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It was raining lightly when Yoshiko went to the gardens, one night a month after her arrival.

The Dog-Lord watched her silently from a balcony. The human girl was slipping quietly through the overgrown trees and tangled vines, her hair and clothing damp. But when she looked up to him, the faint firelight of the lamps caught her bright eyes and open face.

The Dog-Lord kept his eyes on her, remembering the candle light that had framed her face that first night they had seen one another up close. "Yoshiko," he whispered.

Yoshko was picking a handful of wet purple flowers. Suddenly she looked up to him again. "Would you come down to me?" she called.

The Dog-Lord jumped down lightly, and waited for her to speak.

Yoshiko glanced down at the flowers in her hands. "I needed to be alone for a while," she said quietly.

The Dog-Lord cupped his large hands under her small ones. Water trickled through from the flower petals. "I'm sorry," he rumbled. "Perhaps I should have given you more time in your old home..."

"It wouldn't have helped," Yoshiko said softly. "It would still have hurt. I know... I know what they would have done, but I still can't... forget them. I can't simply cast them off, after so many years of loving them." She looked up at him solemnly. "You understand, don't you?"

The Dog-Lord raised one of his hands to touch her cheek. "I think I do," he said. In a lower voice, he added, "You can't just leave now... now that they know the truth."

"I don't want to leave," Yoshiko said. Her voice caught slightly. "But... I won't stop missing them for a long time. It won't stop hurting. I was thinking... thinking that when I remember what I have lost by coming here... with you... I should remember what I have gained too." She smiled and touched one of the flowers to her stomach.

The Dog-Lord smiled softly, for what felt like the first time in years. "As will I," he said.

He folded her into his arms, letting her head rest against his chest. He could feel tears on her face, but this time he allowed himself to wipe them away. The loss of her family would not be a wound that would heal soon -- but at least she was going to be content with him, and with their baby.

"I'm sorry," Yoshiko whispered, "that I kept you away from me. But I needed to be alone, just so I could think..."

"I understand." The Dog-Lord rested his cheek on her head.

"I won't leave you, or our baby, no matter how homesick I am," Yoshiko said softly.

She closed her eyes as the Dog-Lord began to kiss her, first gently, then like a starving man. The blossoms slipped through her fingers as she raised a hand, and stroked his hair away from her face.

TO BE CONTINUED