Disclaimer: I do not own Bleach or any other copyrighted material.
Tell Yourself
By: Princess Kitty1
Shopping
With Ulquiorra almost fully recovered from his hollow bait detox – he still had random bouts of fatigue, in which he would ask Orihime for another (for the sake of his nerves) and she would politely tell him no – the decision was made, with the beach trip just around the corner, to put his earnings to good use. "Bring me everything that you've been saving," Orihime had instructed him, "I want to get an idea of what you can afford."
Ulquiorra had then left the living room, and returned five minutes later with an armful of… socks? He dropped them in front of the very confused Orihime, then departed again. Meanwhile, she had lifted one of the socks and peered inside of it. By the time Ulquiorra came back into the living room with another armful, Orihime sat stupefied, surrounded on all sides by small stacks of money.
"What… when… how did… is this where… I…"
"There may be a few more. I have misplaced them."
Two hours after that, Orihime was staring dumbly at a mountain of bills on the table, while Ulquiorra separated them into manageable piles and reminded Orihime that nothing would get done if she didn't start counting.
That had been the night before. Today found the pair in a local shopping district, with Orihime stretching happily in the summer sunshine. "Okay! We have a lot to get done and only a few hours to do it, so let's decide on what should happen first. My stomach is growling, so I vote lunch. But it's really up to…" She trailed off and turned around.
Ulquiorra, hands in his pockets, stood glaring at Chizuru, who was half-hidden behind an annoyed Tatsuki and glaring at him with enough fury to make a baby cry.
"Something wrong?" Orihime asked pleasantly.
"Why did he have to come along?" Chizuru demanded, pointing rudely at Ulquiorra.
Tatsuki, who had long-since grudgingly accepted Orihime's new living arrangement and possible romance – and was serving as a spy for Rukia and the rest – shrugged Chizuru off of her arm. "We're here because Orihime wanted second and third opinions on her shopping decisions." She shot Ulquiorra a look. "And because we are very sorry that we encouraged her to poison you."
"I'm not sorry about it," Chizuru muttered, only to recoil, with much arm flailing, when Ulquiorra leaned a bit closer to her.
"Thank you!" Orihime beamed at her two friends, oblivious to the ill-will. She dug into her shoulder bag and retrieved a list written on girly pink stationery. "Alright! First and most importantly is closing the communication gap!"
"Meaning?"
Ten minutes later, they stood in brightly lit store, rows of thin, shining cell phones stretching from wall to wall. Chizuru and Orihime were off to the side, admiring a new smart phone, while Ulquiorra and Tatsuki analyzed the advantages and disadvantages of each phone and its available plans. "You're not much of a talker," Tatsuki was saying, "so I doubt you'll run up the bill chatting with Ichigo."
"Why would I 'chat' with the shinigami?"
"Exactly. You know what? I'd bet that you would be more interested in one of those." Tatsuki pointed to the model that Orihime and Chizuru were drooling over. "It's pricy, but with all the money that you've saved you'll probably be able to keep up with the bill."
Ulquiorra stared at the hand-sized brick on display. "I do not understand what makes that device more enticing than the others."
"That is a smart phone. Meaning, it can do anything except make you a sandwich. Wait, scratch that. It can have a sandwich delivered to your house." She reached over and grabbed a brochure for the phone, flipping it open to the section of features. "See? You've got internet access, a GPS navigation system so that you'll never get lost, tons of applications ready for downloading at their online store, an 8 megapixel camera with video recording option, e-mail… oh! You can multitask with this thing, too. Like, say that you promised Orihime you would take her on a date but neglected to make a dinner reservation, but you're on the phone with her because you're on the way to pick her up. Press this button and you can put her on speaker, then navigate to your GPS and find the number of a fancy restaurant to call as soon as you hang up. Or, e-mail Ishida to make the reservation for you."
Ulquiorra blinked once, then looked at her. "First of all, I do not see how this phone can do any of the things you claimed. It has no arms or legs, so it cannot walk to the store and order a sandwich to be delivered to me. Second, I was informed that the internet was accessed by computers, not cellular devices. Third, what is a GPS navigation system, and how does it know where I am? Fourth, I have no interest in cameras. Fifth, I would not be careless enough to forget to make the dinner reservation and finally, I would not lower myself to asking the Quincy to make the reservation for me."
Tatsuki's eyes narrowed. "You're missing the point. And was that a confirmation that you like Orihime enough to ask her out on a date?"
"Hmm?"
"Ulquiorra, have you found one that you want?" Orihime asked, having managed to dislodge her attention from the smart phone.
He examined the ones along the wall again, then picked up one of the silver, rectangular models. "What does this one do?"
"It makes phone calls, sends e-mail, and takes pictures."
"This one will suffice."
…
With the cell phone safely crossed off of the list, Orihime poured over the remaining items, then directed them into a large department store. "We need swimwear for the beach," she said as they approached the escalator.
"Orihime, I thought you already had a bikini," cooed Chizuru.
"You would remember," Tatsuki grumbled.
Orihime giggled sheepishly. "Mine, err, doesn't fit me anymore. I think I might have grown in some places."
A doggish grin spread across Chizuru's face. Tatsuki rolled her eyes. Ulquiorra blinked, wondering what places she was talking about. He trailed behind the three girls, looking around at the dazzlingly bright clothing displays, the herds of humans milling about, fashion styles more outrageous than that of his former kogal hostage making him cringe. He'd been out shopping with the woman before, but never to such a large place. Then again, he hadn't had money when she'd taken him to get human clothes, so he supposed that their choices were limited back then.
Within minutes, they had reached the men's department. Chizuru put on the most bored frown that she could muster. "Can't I go look at the cuties in the junior section?"
Tatsuki glared at her. "They should post wanted signs with your faces on them."
"No, no," Orihime motioned for Ulquiorra to come closer and scrutinized the swim trunks on the racks. "I told you, I need you guys to help me pick out what looks best!"
"But Orihime-chan, isn't your opinion the only one that matters?" Chizuru asked, her voice dripping with sugar-infused jealousy.
Tatsuki snorted.
"Eh?" Orihime smiled, pleasantly confused.
Ulquiorra eyed the colorful trunks disdainfully. He cautiously dragged a finger down one, eyes narrowing in disgust at the scratchy feeling of the material. "What are these for, exactly?"
"For swimming!" Orihime turned, grabbed a darker pair off of the rack and held it up to his waist. "Err… you do know how to swim, right?"
The three stared at the silent ex-Espada, and overhead, a woman with a pleasant voice announced an ongoing sale in the shoe department. Then Chizuru howled with laughter, and Ulquiorra turned away, refusing to let any of them look at him, for he felt oddly the same as the day the Quincy had discovered him in the library.
…
In the end, Orihime and the girls had agreed that a simple black pair of trunks would look the best on Ulquiorra. She'd insisted that he try them on, but Chizuru had screamed no, thus impeding Tatsuki's research on Orihime's reaction to a scarcely clothed Ulquiorra. She'd sent Rukia an e-mail describing the incident, and had received an angry bunny emoticon in reply.
Luckily for them, it was now Orihime's turn to buy a new bathing suit, and she'd been enthusiastic enough to grab at least ten bikinis off of the rack. Tatsuki took one large step in Ulquiorra's direction, standing oh-so-casually next to him. "So," she pretended to examine her nails, "you're awfully relaxed."
"Should I be nervous?"
"Take your time, sweetie!" Chizuru was yelling towards the dressing room. "I'll take pictures of you in each bathing suit with my phone so we can decide which one is best later!"
"Aww, Chizuru-chan, thanks! That's so nice of you!"
"You will do no such thing," Tatsuki and Ulquiorra hissed at her simultaneously.
Orihime did take her time. Twice they heard her yelping and muttering something about the straps. Chizuru bit her lip with anticipation, wearing an expression like a child waiting for Santa Claus to come down the chimney. Soon Tatsuki remembered that Ulquiorra had asked her a question. "I mean, Orihime's going to be walking out of there in like two straps of fabric. Doesn't that make you feel…" she tried to find the right word, but gave up when none came. "How does that make you feel?"
"Nothing new. I have seen the woman in what you call a 'bikini' already."
"What?"
"Ready!" Orihime burst out of the fitting room, wearing an orange and pink two-piece that could barely contain her bust. "I had a little trouble with the straps," she said, pointing out the fact that the bottom piece was tied together by flimsy strings, "so I don't know. It might be more trouble than it's worth… Chizuru-chan, your nose is bleeding!" she squealed.
"I'm fine! It happens in warm weather! Please, try the next one!" Chizuru cried, holding a hand up to her nose.
Tatsuki grabbed Chizuru and started pushing her away. "That's it! You're done!"
Orihime, left alone with Ulquiorra, turned to get his opinion. "What do you think?" she asked, completely undaunted, and struck a model pose.
Ulquiorra slowly lowered his gaze to the shopping bag he held, in which his new swim trunks were contained. He then stretched his arm out, offering the bag to her. "Buy one of these."
…
By late afternoon, they had finished their shopping excursion and said goodbye to Tatsuki – who was still annoyed – and Chizuru – who had a dreamy look on her face as she was pulled away. Orihime hummed cheerfully as she and Ulquiorra headed for home. She was glad that they had been able to get him some new clothes as well, and it had all come out to a price that barely put a dent in Ulquiorra's wallet. "We should get Urahara-san to open you a checking account, like Kuchiki-san's."
"Checking account?"
"A place where you can store your money! You know, so you don't have to keep hiding it in your socks."
Ulquiorra's eyes narrowed. That bastard hadn't told him anything about an account.
Orihime turned curious eyes on him. "Why did you hide it from me, anyway?" she asked. There was a long pause, in which she saw his jaw clench, his brow furrow.
"I do not know."
A smile lit her features. "Well, that's good enough for me."
They walked on in peace for a little while, then Orihime gasped and ran into a small store towards the end of the shopping district. Ulquiorra followed her inside, taking in the various items on the walls and shelves. They all seemed to be accessories for cell phones. "Look!" Orihime said to him, pointing at something on a display. He stood next to her and observed the diverse, miniature items hanging from strings. "Cell phone charms!"
"What do those do?"
"Nothing! They're for decoration." Orihime picked out one of a camera and placed it in his palm. While he turned it over in his hand, she fished his new phone out of its bag and removed it from the box. "See this little hole right here? That's where you get the string through."
"Hmm."
"Do you want one?" She put the camera charm back on the display. "They have tons! I've never gotten around to buying one either, so we can both pick out the charm we like best."
Ulquiorra eyed the charms on display. None of them really appealed to him, though the woman had several hanging from her fingers like dangling rings, including a robot and a donut. He looked again. This time, his attention was captured by the afternoon sunlight glinting off of a small charm, far less complicated than the rest.
It was a small, perfect circle. He took it off of the display, examining it closely. There really was nothing spectacular about it. Shining, like a tiny moon. Round, like the hole that no longer existed in his chest; completely filled in. And when he turned it just a little to the side…
It reflected the woman, who smiled as she admired the charms in her palm.
Orihime looked up at Ulquiorra, and for a moment she completely forgot what she had been doing. The way that he stood there, staring at that perfect circle, she could just tell that he'd found exactly what he had been searching for.
"Ulquiorra?"
He closed his fingers around the charm. "I will get this one."
"Sweet! I'll get this one, then." Orihime separated a small heart-shaped charm from the others, which she replaced on the display. "Kind of basic, but I like it!" She held her hand out, and Ulquiorra, confused, placed his charm onto her palm. "I'll buy it for you! Consider it a gift," she said, and went to the register to pay.
Ulquiorra came up behind her and watched her put both charms on the counter, then fish into her shoulder bag for her coin purse. But at the last moment, he took the heart-shaped charm from the counter and divided Orihime's pile of coins in half, putting his own money there instead. She gazed up at him quizzically. "Consider it a gift," he said in reply.
And so she presented him with the circle, and he put the tiny heart into her hand.
/TBC/
A/N: I'm melting. Partially because I'm a sappy romantic, and partially because my black heart is making me squeal like the wicked witch in the Wizard of Oz: "I'm melting! I'm melting!" Unfortunately, the next chapter is inspired by Ulquiorra's background story, so it's going to be even sappier.
And yes, I totally did slip a Kimi ni Todoke reference in here, since Kazehaya and Ulquiorra share a voice actor.
900 reviews! I'm kind of in shock! Thank you all so much for the feedback! I will continue to try my best to make y'all smile, especially since Kubo-sensei is giving us doujins but no Ulquiorra.
