I was drunk. Yes, I shall happily admit that I had had an evening of getting resoundingly pole-axed drunk, when it all began.
Let me start at the beginning.

After Solas' polite (yet infuriating) decline of my invite to a friendly drinking session, I decided that I would indeed, need more than one strong shot of something. I marched back up to Haven, ready to stew in yet another of my foul moods until I reached the gates. What I saw would have made even a demon smile. There, handing out mugs of ale to the returning soldiers and mages, was Blackwall, Sera, Bull and the rest of his Chargers. They had opened at least seven casks and were very happily giving it away to whoever would take it.
I laughed as I approached, drawing their attention, Sera even clambered haphazardly onto to Bull's shoulders to greet me.

"There sh' is! M'favourite Dalish!" she cried out slovenly, earning a laugh from myself and Blackwall, Bull evidently still too sober and too concentrated on not dropping the elf that now hung from his right horn.

"You lot are making rather merry, I see." I chuckled, nodding thanks to Blackwall as he handed me a flagon.

"It's an occasion on which to be merry, don't you think?" Bull said with a smile, still disentangling Sera from his horns.

"It is that indeed." I said, raising my mug and taking my first mouthful of the day. Andruil's tits, it tasted awful but it had been so long since I'd had a drink that I couldn't bring myself to care! Still I cringed and coughed, much to the rests amusement.

"I know, it's terrible." Blackwall laughed. I could only nod through my distasteful frown.

"Perhaps we should take this to the tavern. It seems the last of the soldiers have returned. Krem!" Bull called, "Bring the casks back to the Tavern, It's too cold out here for me to get drunk." he said with a shiver, causing Sera lose to what little of her balance remained and tumble into the snowy ground. Everyone laughed then, myself included. I couldn't help it, there was a feeling in the air. It floated on the breeze, carried in our laughter and shone in the peoples' smiles. An infectious hope permeated Haven and I couldn't help letting myself get swept along with it.

From the Tavern onward, things get a little blurry. I remember Bull betting that I was too small to down a full pint in one, I remember him handing me two gold sovereigns as I wiped the froth away with a sleeve. Then Blackwall bought us all two rounds of some sort of rum sweetened with honey and sugar so that it was deceptively easy to drink. That was the end of my sobriety, I believe. After that, I can only remember a few flashes: Standing on the counter with Dalish, one of Bull's chargers and singing an old drinking song. I do remember a conversation with Bull, however that seemed to stick. As drunk and as merry as we were, it still seemed to become serious, if only for a moment.

"Are you tired of it yet?" he asked me over his cup. I turned to meet his eyes with a slovenly confused frown.

"Tired a' what?" I slurred.

He leaned in closely then and with two quick glances behind him said, "Playing spy."

I remember this because his question shocked me slightly sober. It was forward and sure, as if me being a spy were the most obvious thing in the world. I suddenly grew very suspicious and wouldn't say a thing until he let out a loud belly laugh.

"You have nothing to worry about, Nev." he chuckled, and I finally loosened my jaw enough to speak.

"Is it so obvious?" my whisper a tad overemphasised.

He shook his head with a smile, "No, in truth you're good at it. I should know," he leaned in again, "I'm a spy too."

I felt my eyes widen in shock as I looked around in case anyone heard him say it.

"You're a spy? For who? What for? Oh, I've got to report you to Leliana." I slurred and stumbled and Bull only laughed, lightly pulling me back to the bar stool by the end of my plait.

"Ow!" I rebuked, though it didn't hurt, I would not lie it wounded my dignity. He only laughed again. "Oh I'm glad I'm such a figure of fun."

"Your spy master already knows of my affiliations, as does the Herald. I told her on our first meeting. I am a spy of the Ben'hasrath, a qunari order. We simply wanted to know if you people were competent enough to deal with this mess." he said plainly, and though I was drunk, I could hear no lies in his words.

I furrowed my brow, "Well, you're not a very good spy then if you go about telling people." I said, taking another sip.

He shrugged, "It's complicated."

I smiled then, "It always is."

He laughed again and raised his mug of ale, "To being complicated." he said.

I mirrored him, "To being complicated, and may we hopefully become more simple in the future."

After this, the night escapes me, more drinking, more singing, one very emotional, very one-sided heart to heart with the bar maid and such other things. It wasn't until I was talking in hushed tones with Sera about a bucket of honey and some feathers did I begin to sober. It was late, from the small window I could see the moon sitting high in the sky. It was bright and gleaming, waning as it was. Its silver light bathed the cloud around it in a cool glow.

"Is jus how we ach'ly get the feathers on the door is th'tricky part, hic!" Sera slurred. Creators was she drunk. I'd never seen someone of her build sink so many and yet still be conscious.

"We could put them in with the bucket of honey." I suggested and her drunken eyes lit up.

"You're friggin' gen'us, Nev. I'll get th'honey, you get, hic, feathers..." she said as she attempted to stand and put our plan into action when unfortunately, her legs finally gave out and she hit the floor with a thud. Her heavy snores the only sign of her. I laughed again, a loud heaving laugh that only seems possible when drunk.

"We should probably bring her back to her chambers." Blackwall said, scooping her small frame up in his arms.

My laughter subsided, "We probably should. Gods help her, she'll have one hell of a headache in the morning."

"I think we all will Nev." he chuckled, glancing about the Tavern. Whoever was still awake was either about to pass out or still sober enough to stumble home. The rest had been sleeping for well over half an hour. This included the mighty Iron Bull, who was now sleeping on one of the tables, his chargers all soundly passed out next to him. It was a terribly endearing scene. I chuckled quietly one last time before stepping out into the night air to follow Blackwall. It seemed that the party was still in full swing outside. The people of Haven danced and played music and they drank, though not nearly as much as the occupants of the tavern it seemed. For one, they were all still standing. I walked with Blackwall until we got Sera to her tent, funny, I always presumed she stayed in the Tavern. But no, here her home stood, an inconsequential tarpaulin filled to the brim with arrows, jars of honey and cushions. I smiled at the sight, it gave me a new perspective on the girl. The elf who refused to be an elf. When I'd first discovered this trait of hers, it had angered me. I'd deemed her ignorant and selfish and disrespectful. How she could detest her own kind so much was beyond me, especially when the humans did enough detesting of us themselves. Perhaps she still was all the things I had deemed her, but perhaps she had a few redeeming qualities. Like her strong will, her perseverance, her humour and her utter contempt for authority. She cared about the people, the beggars and servants and commoners. They were her people, just as the Dalish were mine. I would try to remember that.
Blackwall gently eased her onto her pillow strewn bed and let her sleep soundly. She mumbled something incoherent about the feathers again which made me smile.

As Blackwall and I stepped back out into the merry night he turned to me with a kind smile.

"Don't think I've forgotten about your bow, Nev." he said.

I faced him and drunkenly returned his smile.
"I thank you for even offering to make it at all."

"Well, just in case you're thinking I forgot, it's almost finished. Just a few details to add and then it will be ready." he nodded soundly.

"Oh, you needn't go to too much trouble Blackwall, really a string tied to a lump of iron bark is all I need." I laughed.

"You deserve more than simple string and wood. You're a good girl, Nev. I know perhaps sometimes people forget to see you... But, if it's any comfort, people rarely see the spark that starts the fire." his words were kind, true and honest. His voice softer and more... real. It was not The Grey Warden Blackwall who said them, it was someone else. The man before the Wardens. It was him and it reminded me so much of Mahanon that a lump formed in my throat.

"Thank you." I croaked and he smiled again, wrapping his big arm around my shoulders and giving me a comforting squeeze.

"Anytime you need me, Nev, I'm here." he said gently as we began to walk away.

I knew he would be, something in his words that night were the truest I had yet heard him. Perhaps it was the drink, but even if it was, Master Nehn always said a drunken tongue was an honest one.
Blackwall bid me a goodnight as we came back to the main square. People still whooped and cheered but he said he was getting too old for such long nights. I'd laughed then but bid him goodnight all the same. I too was quite tired now, the alcohol still swimming cheerfully in my blood made me drowsy and no longer in the mood to dance and shout, but simply watching the people do it was enough. It brought a simple joy to my heart that made me smile. I settled myself next to a familiar dwarf who, when he noticed me, hastily tucked away a small leather note book.

"Another one of your stories, Varric?" I asked him cheekily.

He shrugged and smirked enigmatically, "Perhaps it is. All this would make one hell of a story."

"Hmm, the stuff of legends, I hear." I said with a sigh.

He turned to me then, "Your enthusiasm is exuberant." he chuckled, his sarcasm making me smile.
"What's on your mind Trixy?" he asked.

I was struck by the genuine concern in his question. I adjusted myself to face him and shrugged slovenly. In truth, nothing truly that terrible was on my mind. I was happily drunk, surrounded by smiling, happy people and there was no longer a hole in the sky- That was a big plus.

"Nothing, Varric just..."

"Hey, listen. I know these are tough times. I know its the end of the world and we're all doomed to an eternity of suffering. I know things are happening that none of us have control over and I know that we have to face it all with a shrug and a smile." He leaned in closely and set his hand on my wrist. "But you're still allowed to feel sad, Trixy. Putting on a brave face for the Herald doesn't mean you're not allowed to feel. You can be sad, you can be frightened and you can feel nothing at all, just make sure you talk about it. Keeping it all bottled up has sent people down paths that I don't ever want to see you on." he gave my wrist a squeeze.

His words had comforted me more than I knew I needed it. The world was spinning out of control and I felt utterly powerless to stop it. I had killed an innocent woman for which the guilt still haunted me. Though the strange dreams had subsided, I felt as if a part of my soul had been torn away. I was utterly terrified of what the future might hold but... here was Varric offering a smile. There was Blackwall offering a hand. Sera and her jokes, Dorian and his kinship, Bull, Leliana, Cassandra and Solas. I had them all as dear friends and that... That gave me more comfort than anything else. Whatever terrifying fate might befall us, I knew it would be easier with them at my side.

I lightly held the hand that he had on my wrist, "Thank you Varric. That means a lot." I said quietly and he shook his head flippantly.

"It's no trouble, Trixy, no trouble at all."

After that, we fell silent and simply watched the joy around us. Adan had gotten particularly drunk by now and his loud laugh echoed over the village. Others danced about merrily, as they had done for the entire night and for that I was glad. They deserved it after so much fear. We sat there silently for a few moments, watching the world go by, watching as the stars shone bright in the sky. It was beautiful. Peaceful. A hope of things yet to come.
I found my eyes drifting up to find a familiar house beside a familiar wall, and there he stood in his familiar stance. He looked oh so thoughtful until I met his eyes. Then he half smiled, his lip barely quirking up to the right before he nodded in my direction by way of saying hello. We seemed to do that quite often, many of our exchanges held little dialogue, but there was something that I quite liked about that. It was ours, as if we were in cohorts.
What drew me away was the sound of Varric hastily scribbling something down in his little notebook.

"What are you doing?" I asked, but he had already crammed it back into his pocket before I could get a closer look.

He smiled sweetly and suspiciously, "Just adding a little something to my new book."

I arched my brow at him in suspicion but simply rolled my eyes when he continued with his grin.

"It's getting late." I said and he seemed to understand that it was my time to leave. He nodded and smiled, genuinely this time and I returned it. It was as I said, getting late, by my guess it would have been close to dawn but the parties continued all over the village. For a while I did contemplate going to bed as the last of my drunkenness was wearing but I didn't. My feet carried me, as they always seemed to do, towards his door, at which he stood- his eyes scrutinising the crowds around him. As I approached he gaze softened and fell to me.

"I take it you have had a pleasant evening." he said with almost a smirk.

I chuckled, my throat now hoarse and dry, "Too pleasant. Creators, Bull can fairly sink them." I ran a hand through my hair and let it fall lazily back to my side.

There was moment of silence between us before he stood away from the door frame, "Nevalla, I would-" but he stopped himself, a look of panic shooting across his features. The night darkened then, the pale glowing moon was shrouding behind thick black cloud and the joyous sounds of Haven smothered by the piercing chimes of warning bells.