"I know you think I'm maybe out of line,
I'm scared to love what we love most.
It's only gonna take a little time,
Before we start to lose our minds.
Wake up."
- "Wake Up" by Awolnation
.::.
.::.
The next night, I found myself sittin' under a nearby tree out near the barn. I hadn't spoken to anyone since the night before. I hadn't showered in days, and I hadn't eaten since lunch the day before when I went out and hunted me down two squirrels. I had been flippin' through the pages of an old magazine when I looked up and saw Carol walking towards me with a plate of food and a glass of ice water.
"Here." She knelt down beside me, handing it over. "You haven't eaten a thing since yesterday."
"Thanks." I replied shortly.
I took a large bite of a PB&J and expected for her to walk off, but she stayed put.
"You ok?" She asked, meekly.
I nodded and swallowed my food. "Ain't you got somethin' else to do?"
"No." She shook her head and stared off into the distance. "And neither do you. I figured I'd come keep you company."
"Well, save it. Ain't in the mood to be Chatty Kathy today."
She sighed before looking up at me with wide, crystal eyes. "You should go talk to her. She hasn't come downstairs all day. Been up in Maggie's room crying her eyes out. Won't even eat."
I had a hard time swallowin' that last bite. I sighed and dropped my half-eaten sandwich down on the plate. "I don't know what the hell to say to that girl, Carol. I fucked up pretty bad." Saying it out loud made me feel even worse, and I was surprised to find myself doing so.
"So tell her that. Tell her you're sorry. That's the first step to fixing things."
"She said she don't want things to get fixed." I stared down at my boots.
"Of course she does. She's just mad at you. And hurt. Very hurt."
I swallowed, feeling overwhelmed. I wondered if that were true. "I'onno..."
"You're having a baby with her. You need to fix it."
I furrowed my brow, looking up at her. "How the hell you know about that?"
She snorted. "We all live in the same house. News travels fast."
"Apparently. Damn."
"Just go give it a try. You owe it to her."
I nodded my head, knowing full well that she was exactly right. "Thanks, Carol." I leaned in a kissed her lightly on the cheek. I saw a faint smile form at the curve of her lips before I stood to my feet and walked away.
.::.
"Molly?" I tapped on the door. "Ya in there?"
No answer.
"Hey." I knocked again, hesitantly.
Still, there was no answer.
After the third try, I turned the handle and let myself in. The room was empty. I glanced around for a moment to be sure before I turned around and walked back out. I went from room to room to check. I had asked if anyone had seen her. All the answers so far were "no".
"Lori, you seen Molly around here?"
She nodded her head as she sliced a cucumber in the kitchen. "She said she needed to go for a walk. Said she won't be long."
"A walk?" My heart skipped, nervously. "Where she go? Did anybody go with her?"
"As far as I know, she went alone. I told her it wasn't a good idea but she said she just needed some fresh air and that she wouldn't go far."
"The hell, Olive Oil? You didn't even tell nobody?" I didn't wait around to hear her reply. Instead, I skipped down the front porch and made my way the woods, 150 yards away. I had no idea how I had missed her walkin' by. Maybe 'cause it was startin' to get dark out, or maybe it was 'cause I got distracted by Carol. Didn't matter. All that mattered is that I found her.
And that I did, about 300 yards from the house. She was hunched over, dry-heaving near a tall tree. She wiped her mouth of a little spit and stood straight up, and then she continued walking.
"The hell are you doin' out here at dark?" I called out behind her, as I closely approached.
She jumped and screamed shortly, clearly startled. "Jesus! What the hell?" She whipped her head around to look at me.
"Yeah, that's what I'm wonderin' myself. The hell you doin' out here alone?"
"I'm just going for a walk." She shrugged, trying to sound nonchalant, but I knew better.
"Goin' for a walk with a backpack?" I glanced down at the black, medium-size pack strapped to her back. I wanted her to know that I noticed.
She opened her mouth to speak, but let out a large sigh instead. She licked her lips. "Daryl, what do you want?"
"I wanna know what the hell you think yer doin' out here. You fixin' to leave?" I wrinkled my forehead and wiped the sweat from my filthy brow.
"So what if I am?"
I snorted. "So you think yer jus gon walk off, without sayin' bye, in the dark, in the woods, alone...?"
She shook her head, annoyed, and turned to walk away.
I seized her wrist quickly. "Get your fucking hands off of me!"
"Jesus Christ, Molly, look at you!" I raised my voice. "You ain't even the same person no more. I fuckin' hate seein' you like this."
"You're not gonna see it anymore, Daryl. Honestly, you can kiss my ass. What do you expect me to be like? My family's dead, my friends are dead, I don't know any of these fucking people and there are way too many fucking problems around here. Around you. I'd rather just be alone."
"Molly, you won't make it two fuckin' days out here. Yer scared a guns and you ain't got no damn way to defend yerself..."
"Didn't seem to bother you before."
"Oh, give it a fuckin' break. You think I don't know by now that what I did was wrong?" I closed in on her 'till I was only inches from her face. "You think I ain't regretted it every single fuckin' day? Huh?!"
"I really hate you..." She started to cry.
"That's fine! Hate me all ya fuckin' want, but I love you, and I'ma keep lovin' you. I ain't lettin' you go again. I don't care how bad you want to. Yer my woman, and that's my baby yer carryin' in there. Yer ass is stayin' put if I gotta carry you back myself." I spewed. Word vomit.
She stood motionless, her eyes widened and her mouth opened as if she were trying to process everything I had just said. And then she slapped me.
And then she kissed me.
