Hello! Apologies for not updating this sooner, last week went so quickly I didn't realise what day it was and completely forgot to post it!

Anyway, enjoy...


Chapter 29 – Curved Sides

Erin and Jay rushed into the emergency department at Chicago Med and hurried up to the nurse's station.

"Malcolm Halstead?" Jay enquired before he saw Will walking quickly towards him.

"Will, what the hell's going on!?" Jay demanded as he met his older brother. Will motioned them over to a quieter area.

"Dad collapsed at our apartment earlier," Will said and Jay saw Natalie behind him, bouncing a fussing Owen on her hip.

"What d'you mean he collapsed?" he questioned.

Will shook his head. "He looked rough all day, even worse than he did on Thanksgiving. After dinner he said he didn't feel good so went to lie down for a while, and we heard him fall down in the hall," he explained.

"But why? What's wrong with him?" Jay still felt confused. He knew his Dad hadn't been looking good lately, but just put it down to old age and years of overwork.

Will sighed. "Jay, Dad has stage four pancreatic cancer."

Jay heard the words, but didn't understand. There was buzzing in his ears, numb shock pounding in his head. He felt Erin's reassuring hand on his back but continued to look at his brother. "Explain it," he said simply.

"Dad has a tumour on his pancreas. He's been having treatment but it's metastasised to his –,"

"Speak English," Jay interrupted, frustrated that his brother understood so much more than he did.

"It's spread to his liver and blood vessels," Will continued.

Jay ran a hand over his face, trying to take it all in.

"Why the hell didn't you tell me?" he demanded angrily at his brother, mad that he hadn't thought to inform him of their father's condition.

"You think I knew?!" Will fired back, and a few people turned to look at them and the sound of their raised voices. "He didn't tell me either. He didn't tell anybody," Will continued more quietly.

Jay collapsed into a waiting room chair and held his head in his hands.

"What's the prognosis?" he asked hoarsely as Erin gave his shoulder a gentle squeeze.

"It's not good Jay," Will said sadly and sat down next to his brother. "He hasn't responded to treatment and now it's spread, there's not much we can do except keep him comfortable," he explained.

Jay sighed. "How long's he got?" he croaked. "Six months? A year?"

Will shook his head. "Weeks, maybe a few months, but not long."

Jay put his head in his hands again and closed his eyes. Everything made sense now. His dad's sudden desire to patch up their relationship, wanting to spend time together. It was all because he knew he didn't have long left. Jay felt his stomach churning as these thoughts all came together. He felt Erin sit down on his other side and she rubbed a comforting hand up and down his arm. He was glad she was there, supporting him through this. He wasn't sure what was coming, but was knew he wouldn't get through it without Erin.

Jay finally lifted his head out of his hands and said, "where is he?"

"He's been moved upstairs. They want to keep him in for a few days and after that he's gonna move in with me and Natalie so we can look after him," Will informed him.

There were a few moments of quiet before Jay got to his feet. "I want to see him," he said abruptly.

"Okay, but he's really weak Jay, so go easy on him," Will warned, and he too stood up, motioning for Jay to follow him down the hall. Erin stayed in the waiting room, knowing Jay needed to do this alone. Natalie sat down next to her in Jay's vacated seat, and they watched with worry in their eyes as the retreating backs of the Halstead brothers disappeared down the hall.


Will gently eased the hospital room door open and looked to the bed.

"Jay's here Dad," he said, stepping into the room so Jay could enter behind him.

Jay's eyes fell upon his father, or what was now his father, because the person in the bed was barely recognisable from the man Jay had grown up with. Malcolm had once had such a powerful and dominating presence that it was impossible to believe that this was what he'd become. He had the appearance of someone who'd lost a lot of weight in a very short amount of time, and his skin hung off him in paper thin wrinkles, tinged greyish-yellow. His once auburn hair had thinned and was now wispy and grey. The bags under his eyes gave his face a sunken appearance, not helped by his hollow cheeks. He had an oxygen tube attached to his nose and wires connected him to the beeping machines beside the bed.

Jay looked upon the shell of a man and his heart ached. Why hadn't he called his Dad? Why had he wasted so much time being angry? So many wasted years...

"Jay?"

Malcolm's voice was almost as frail as he looked. Jay moved closer to the bed.

"I'm here Dad," he said softly and Malcolm smiled tiredly.

"I'm sorry I didn't tell you son," he apologised. "I didn't want these last few months tainted with the knowledge that I was sick. My diagnosis made me realise what was important in life, and I wanted to make things right between us, but I didn't want you to feel like you had to do it just because I was dying."

Jay understood his father's reasoning and appreciated the apology, but it didn't make up for the fact that they'd all been kept in the dark.

"You should've told us Dad," Jay said hoarsely. "We could've spent so much more time together."

Malcolm smiled sadly as Jay sat down in the chair beside the bed.

"Let's not waste any more time."


December melted into a dull and icy January, and as the weeks went by, Erin edged into her third trimester of pregnancy. Her belly protruded out in front of her as she walked and it was becoming more and more difficult to find a comfortable sleeping position. She was still working every day, determined to do as much as she could before the baby arrived.

She was also worried about Jay. He'd been distant ever since finding out about his father's diagnosis, not wanting to talk about it and shutting people out. He was plastering over the cracks, putting on a brave face, but Erin knew it was only a matter of time before the strain became too much and he would eventually break. She knew all this because it was the same way she dealt with things she'd rather not think about, and knew from experience that it never ended well. Still, Erin let Jay have his space and tried to keep things as normal as possible, hoping he would eventually come back to himself.

It had been a very long and tiring week, but Friday evening had finally arrived, much to the Intelligence unit's relief. Erin collapsed onto the couch next to Jay, feeling exhausted. She looked over to the cardboard box sitting next to the coffee table and felt a flutter of panic. The box was full of baby hand-me-downs from Antonio, and as much as she appreciated the gesture, it had sent Erin's mind into overdrive.

"Jay?" Erin said with anxiety in her eyes, turning her head to look at her fiancé.

"Hmm?" Jay answered distractedly. The long week at work had been even more exhausting for Jay, as he'd spent most of his evenings over at Will and Natalie's apartment spending quality time with his father and brother.

"I've just realised how unprepared we are," Erin said, concern coating her words.

"What d'you mean?" Jay asked, his attention caught as he took in her worried expression.

"I mean we've hardly got anything for when the baby gets here! We haven't decorated the nursery; we haven't got any baby clothes!" She couldn't believe they'd left it so late. Her due date seemed so much closer now that Christmas was over and they were into the new year. And what if the baby came early? Then what would they do?

"How about we start tomorrow?" Jay suggested, wanting to put Erin's mind at rest. "I can clear out the guest room and we can go to the store to pick out some paint?"

Erin smiled at him. Decorating the nursery would provide a nice distraction from the weight of Malcolm's illness, something she knew Jay needed right now.

Jay spent the next day transferring all the furniture from the room that was once Nadia's into their storage unit, while Erin sat browsing online shops for nursery furniture. When Jay had at last finished moving everything out, he stood in the doorway, watching Erin scroll through the long list of potential cribs she was considering, enjoying her being in full nesting mode.

"What d'you think of this one?" she asked, turning to look at Jay. Jay approached and inspected the laptop screen which showed a simple white crib.

"Nice," he nodded.

"What about this one?" she said as she switched tabs on the browser.

Jay stared at an almost identical crib.

"That looks exactly the same to me," he said honestly, and Erin rolled her eyes.

"Jay! This one's sides are more curved," she said, exasperated that he couldn't see the difference.

"What does it matter if the sides are curved or not?" he asked, confused as to how this minor detail was causing Erin such a dilemma.

"It matters Jay!" she insisted. "This is where our child is going to sleep for the first year or so of their life! It has to be perfect." She continued to scroll through the never ending web pages.

"Erin, the baby's not even going to remember ever sleeping in this crib, besides, I thought you'd already decided to have a bassinet in our room?"

"That's not the point!" she exclaimed.

Jay decided that it was best to put an end to this discussion before he said something that got Erin really mad at him, and said decisively, "I like the one with the curved sides."

Erin rolled her eyes again. "You're just saying that so I'll pick one."

"No seriously, I like it," Jay insisted, giving her a sincere look.

"Really?" Erin questioned seriously. "Because I like it too. I just wasn't sure, y'know."

"Erin, it's great," Jay reassured her, and Erin added it to their online shopping cart.

She turned to grin at Jay. "Now will you look at changing tables with me?"


Over the next week, Jay and Erin spent their evenings in tatty old clothes painting the nursery. As they didn't know whether they were having a boy or a girl, they'd picked out a pale yellow colour for the walls, thinking it would work for either sex. Erin hoped that the yellow combined with the white furniture she'd ordered would give the room a light, airy feeling. She'd also decided to go with an animal theme for the whole nursery, and had started collecting various framed pictures of cartoon lions, frogs, rabbits and countless other animals, to hang on the walls. She also couldn't resist buying little stuffed animals whenever she saw them, thinking they'd look cute lined up along a shelf. They'd spent forever picking out cute unisex onesies, although they hadn't needed to buy too many what with Antonio's box of hand-me-downs. They particularly liked a pale blue one that said, "Daddy's best back-up," on the front and had little handcuffs embroidered on it.

As the weekend came again, Erin watched excitedly as the nursery came closer to completion. On Saturday, Jay asked Will over to help put together the nursery furniture that had arrived the previous day, and Erin busied herself with organising everything they'd already bought, checking things off her long list of items they still needed to get.

"Thanks again for helping with this," Jay said to his brother as they checked the instructions for putting the crib together.

"No problem, but I should warn you, my hands are built for surgery not construction," Will grinned.

They spent the next few hours trying to make sense out of the many confusing diagrams and pictures in the instruction leaflet, eventually standing back to admire the completed crib.

"Excellent," Will said, as they took in their handiwork. "What's next?"

"Changing table," Jay said, pointing to the next box of flat-pack furniture.

"My only tip for the changing table is to have all the essentials within easy reach. Trust me, you don't want to be halfway through changing a dirty diaper before realising you're out of wipes," Will grimaced at what was obviously a painful memory.

"Thanks for the advice," Jay grinned as they set to work. He was enjoying spending time with Will where they weren't both focussed on their father. It was a relief to be lighthearted with his brother again and it put Jay in a better mood than he could remember being in for a long time.

By evening, they had all the furniture constructed and manoeuvred into the correct positions, directed by Erin who ordered them here and there as she stood back to take it all in. They'd put up shelves and hung pictures while Erin stocked the changing table and dresser, and arranged all the soft furnishings she'd been collecting. After Will had left and they were finally happy with how the room was looking, Jay collapsed into the big nursing chair in the corner and pulled Erin onto his lap. She laid her head on his shoulder as he wrapped his arms around her, something that had become more and more difficult to do as her bump grew.

They sat in silence, taking in the adorable room that they would soon be bringing their baby home to. Eventually Erin spoke.

"It's perfect," she whispered.

"You were right, the curved sides on the crib make all the difference," Jay teased, and Erin raised her head to see the signature grin across his face.

"Shut up, it was important to me," she smiled back, and Jay tightened his arms around her.

"I know, I know, and that makes it important to me."

Erin snuggled deeper into him at his words, feeling so loved and comforted in that moment, it almost eclipsed the excitement she was feeling at knowing they would be meeting their baby in only a few short months.

She was overjoyed that decorating the nursery had left Jay in such a good mood, but knew that it was only temporary. Over the last week, the nursery had become a sort of tranquil bubble where worries and problems didn't exist. They had laughed and joked like they used to as they slowly prepared the room, but Erin knew that once they left the nursery tonight, all the stresses and fears of the real world would come crashing back down on them. Erin's heart ached as she gazed into Jay's startlingly blue eyes. Eyes she knew so well. But over the last few weeks, a sadness had seemed to settle there, and Erin wasn't sure if it would ever go away.


I hope you enjoyed this chapter :) As always, please review!

The next chapter is called 'Come Back To Us'