Here we are again.

Welcome to the new readers, glad to have you :)

It's a short chapter again, but it's easier to keep up the pace this way ^^


POV Damon

It's very difficult to focus on a ripper bambi while thinking about Sam. Stefan was all over the place. Listening to that monster of a Mikaelson. If they thought I was bad, they haven't met the ripper on a good day yet. I'm bambi in comparison to him. And trust me I hate having to admit that. I'm stronger, tougher more badass, not wanting to brag… you know what? Let's brag, I deserve some slack after everything I've been through.

Elena's birthday was a distraction. Showing what I've always wanted. Katherine, I mean Elena by my side. Distraction is key. But it was an empty one. I felt the heat of Elena's body radiating through my arm but it felt shallow. Like a cold shiver in my neck, a fear sneaking up on you. A silent warning. Does this mean things will only get worse. I thought it was already worst.

Andie…Why? It started as a game but I could care if I allowed myself. I was starting to care, which is rather difficult. In a moment she was gone. Her life essence gone from this world. They say vampires don't care about death anymore but it's difficult when everyone around you slowly gets older and perishes. It made me…angry? I don't know if this is what I'm feeling. Or is it jealousy? The nagging feeling in your stomach.

As I trashed his room, it was more than for Andie. It was for me, for Elena, for Alaric, Jenna,… Sam. It was the first time in months I allowed myself to think of her. Even her name was enough to make my mind go haywire. It exploded in my mind, made my body burn. Every nerve in my brain is on fire. The memories from my human time made it worse. It made me doubt everything I stood for. What if Katherine was just an illusion. Maybe I made myself believe it was Katherine I was missing while it was Sam all along.

For a second I allowed myself to miss her before I pushed it to the back of my mind. I burned the information I had about Stefan. It wasn't worth it. And as always Elena tries to get herself killed. I was lucky to have a friend as Alaric. Drinking buddies to the end. It was strange for me to have a friend after so many years roaming the states alone. Not that I was a good friend to have but I'm trying… I think.

But the mysterious case of the ripper Bambi bitter is taking up to much of my time. Elena was filling my head with doubts about my feelings. Making me wonder if this was what I needed. A new start with Elena. A new chance at love? But at what cost? Would I allow myself to let go of Sam?

The answer was clear to me.

No. No I wouldn't.


That was it for today ^^

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XOXO