Chapter Twenty-Nine

As the days go by, and it gets closer to the end of summer and the beginning of a new year for me at Stoneybrook University, I realize that soon Lorenzo and I have to have the talk that I've been dreading. I think he may realize it too, because every now and then we'll have a quiet moment where we just look into each other's eyes. His eyes always appear serious, as if he's deep in thought trying to formulate something to tell me, and trying to find the right words to do so.

I no longer worry about whether or not our relationship will continue, but I certainly worry about whether it will continue to remain as strong as it is now. I still have my insecurities, and I know that I will he will still be here, and I will be busy with school, and we won't see each other as much as we do, even being in the same town. I worry that he could find someone else in that time.

I try to tell myself that my preoccupations are silly and unfounded. Lorenzo has never given me any reason to think he would want to find someone else, and I know he loves me just as much as I love him. Maybe I don't want to admit to myself that Dawn's words hit me a lot harder than I expected them too.

So, after work one Friday afternoon, Lorenzo strolls up to my desk. We have plans to go to a local carnival that evening, and I had planned on spending the night at his house afterward. It would be the first time since my embarrassing drunken episode, and furthermore, my father actually new about it. He had seemed surprised when I first told him I wouldn't be home that night, but I hoped that at this point he didn't think I was still not doing certain things.

I had already packed an overnight bag, which sat by my desk. In it was a neatly folded pair of denim capris, and a black tank top. I also had packed my first real piece of lingerie. It was a pale purple nightie with a lacy trim that caused much blushing and awkwardness during its purchase. Hopefully the talk would go well. I had packed a regular pair of pajamas just in case.

"Ready, sweetie?" Lorenzo asks.

I nod as my computer shuts down. I call out to Dan that I'm leaving, and then he and I head out to our respective cars. "Are you excited about your first big sleepover?" he asks me, sliding his arm around my waist.

"Yes," I say honestly. "I can't wait."

"Well, I figured we could give each other facials. I also rented Ghost because Patrick Swayze is such a babe, and I always cry at the end, don't you? Oh, and I want to tell about this totally cute guy in my math class!"

I crack up. "I hope you aren't serious about any of that."

"Aside from thinking Patrick Swayze is a babe, the rest was made up."

"Well, that's a relief. I don't know if I can date a guy that likes facials."

He smiles at me, and plants a kiss on my cheek. "I love you," he says.

My heart flutters, as it always does whenever I hear those words. It always feels nice to hear. It makes me feel more confident that things will go just fine this evening. "I love you too," I tell him.

Lorenzo follows me home, where I leave my car and then we drive together in his car to the carnival, which is set up in the huge parking lot of the church my father and I go to. "Have you talked to Dawn since she left?" he asks as we walk up to the ticket booth.

"I talked to her last night, actually." Dawn had remained in Stoneybrook for almost a week. On her last night, the three of us had gone out to dinner at Casa Grande, which was always one of her favorite restaurants.

"California is right above Mexico, and this is still the best Mexican place I've ever been to," she had commented, which caused Lorenzo and I to laugh.

"See? Not everything's better in California," I'd teased her.

She had pulled me aside after we dropped her off at the Stoneybrook Inn. "Mary Anne, I just wanted to apologize for what I said earlier this week about Lorenzo. Now that I've spent some time with him this week, I realize you two are a really great match."

I had given her a big hug and told her to call me when she was settled back in California, pleased that Lorenzo had made her change her mind. However, in the back of my mind her words still nagged at me. I couldn't help it, the seed had already been planted. Maybe if we hadn't gotten together under such unusual circumstances I would be more relaxed in our relationship. But the fact of the matter was that there was more hurt involved in our situation than most.

"So how is she doing? You guys a little more stable now?"

"I think we are," I say, holding out my hand to the man behind the ticket counter so he can stamp it. The stamp is of a blue elephant, whose relevance to the carnival we were at was questionable. Lorenzo hands me a long string of tickets. "We were talking about the possibility of me taking a trip out there next summer."

"That would be great!" Lorenzo exclaims. "I think that will be good for the two of you. Have you ever been out there before?"

I smile at the memory. "Once," I reply. "We had pooled our money together to buy some lottery tickets, and we won. Well, technically, Dawn's ticket won. We won like ten grand or something like that. So we used that money to fly out to California for two weeks. It was a blast."

"Wow! Isn't it illegal for you guys to play the lottery?"

"Sharon bought them," I explain.

Lorenzo nods and then tugs my arm excitedly. "Bumper cars!"

I giggle and follow him to the ride and hand the ticket person five tickets. We each get behind the seat of a car and I suddenly remember a not so good experience I had on the bumper cars when Kristy and I were younger. I try to back out and ride with Lorenzo, but at that moment the ride starts up and I am immediately slammed from behind by a small boy with a wild head of red hair.

"Hey…" I start, then realize it's the point of the ride.

Lorenzo slams me from the side, and then I finally jump to action and gather up enough speed to slam right back into him. We spend the rest of the ride slamming into each other, which makes me feel more exhilarated each time.

"I can't remember ever having so much fun on the bumper cars!" I exclaim, as we walk down the ramp towards the exit. The little red haired boy brushes past us to his waiting parents. "That little kid totally slammed into me!" I say, giggling.

We continue to walk past the games ("A ripoff," Lorenzo mutters) to the Hall of Mirrors. Several minutes and one bruised arm later, we are waiting in line for the gigantic Ferris Wheel. I glance up warily. "Do you think this is safe? I mean, you always hear those stories about traveling carnivals…"

"You rode the bumper cars just fine," Lorenzo points out.

"That one wasn't three hundred feet in the air."

"Don't worry, I'll protect you," he says fiercely, putting his arm around my shoulder.

"So you'll break my fall if we plummet to the ground?"

"Absolutely."

I think part of the reason I hate the Ferris Wheel is it takes so long to load the ride. Twenty minutes are wasted from the constant stopping and starting to let people on and off, then you go around maybe four times and suddenly the ride is over and you have to wait to be let off again. However, I figure it will be somewhat romantic to be at the top with Lorenzo, overlooking the whole carnival, so I hold his hand as we patiently wait for our turn in line.

After our glorious six spins on the Ferris Wheel (I actually made it a point to count) I convince Lorenzo to play one of the games with me. "These games are so rigged," he informs me. "I never win."

"Maybe that's just because you're not good at them," I tell him teasingly, as I give the man a dollar in exchange for three brightly colored balls.

As if to prove my point, I manage to get my ball in one of the red glasses amid a sea of plain clear ones. "We have a winner!" the man shouts.

I turn to Lorenzo, laughing. "I agree, they're totally rigged. I must be in on it." I point to a gigantic stuffed panda bear that is literally more than half my size.

"Well I'll be. My girlfriend won me a panda bear."

"Who says it's yours?" I ask innocently, smiling as I clutch the panda to my chest. Then I hand the panda to him. "Maybe this will change your mind about carnival games."


"I think I'll call him Boo," Lorenzo says as he places the panda on his bed. "Of course, I don't know how all three of us are going to fit on this bed tonight."

We were in Lorenzo's room after returning from the carnival. His words send shivers down my spine. For some reason it hadn't occurred to me that I would be spending the night in his bed.

"I can sleep in the guest room if you guys want to be alone," I say coyly, giving him a playful shove.

"Yeah right."

Moments later, Boo has been tossed on top of the bed in the guest bedroom, and Lorenzo is kissing my neck in his room. "Lorenzo?" I ask timidly. It's now or never.

"Mmm?" he mumbles while still buried in my neck.

I pull away slightly. "I wanted to talk to you about something."

A wave of concern passes over Lorenzo's green eyes. "Is everything okay?" he asks, touching my arm. He furrows his brows. "Is this about Boo?" he demands in a mock serious tone.

I start to giggle, than catch myself. "No, this isn't about Boo. I actually wanted to ask you something kind of serious…about us."

The smile has disapperared from his face. "Okay, go on."

I take a deep breath. "It's nothing bad. At least, I hope it's not. I just wanted to see where you were at with me. I've been doing a lot of thinking, and I know that summer's almost over and I'm going to be going back to school soon, and we won't get to see each other as much. I just want to make sure you're not treating this as a…" I let me voice trail off, unable to say the word without feeling embarrassed.

"Fling?" Lorenzo supplies, looking grim.

I nod, unable to look at him.

Lorenzo tilts my chin up to face him. "Hey," he says softly. "I don't want you to think that ever again. This is for real, okay?"

I glance at his face, which is set in a determined stare. "I don't want you to think that I'm being silly. I just was worried about where we would go from here."

"We will go exactly where we're going now. We'll continue to be together and get to know each other more. I'm serious about you, Mary Anne. This definitely is not a fling. In any case, I'm not that kind of guy. I care a lot about you, and I intend on staying with you until you get sick of me." He takes my hands in his and presses them to his lips. "I love you. I don't care if it hasn't been that long with us, I know what I feel and that's all I need to know."

Tears prick the corners of my eyes. "I could never get sick of you," I whisper.

"You might. I can be pretty annoying sometimes."

I smile, enjoying slipping back into our usual selves. "That's true. But I love you anyway." I pause. "Thanks."

Lorenzo shakes his head. "I don't need thanks, sweetie. I just don't want you to worry about us ever again. Barring an earthquake that will split the ground in the middle, I don't see anything coming between us."

"What about Boo?"

"He'll just have to realize my heart already belongs to someone else. Don't worry. I'll let him down gently. 'Course it will be awkward because he'll be living here, but I'll figure something out."

I laugh, then lean forward and kiss him. "I love how much you make me laugh."

"And you're not even looking at pictures of me when I'm doing it."

"Okay, funny guy, close your eyes. I have a surprise for you." I get up and take my overnight bag into the bathroom. I slip quickly out of my clothes and pull the nightie over my head. I take my hair out of its clip and brush it, letting it fall into gentle waves against my bare shoulders.

I stare at myself for a few minutes in the mirror, feeling almost naked. The silky material of the nightie barely brushes my skin. After a moments hesistation, I open the door.

"You can open your eyes now," I announce as I step back into the room.

Lorenzo looks momentarily taken aback as he gapes and looks me up and down. "Wow," he mutters. He shakes himself, as if he's waking from a dream. "You should've just put that on when we got here. Boo doesn't stand a chance now."