Chapter 29 – Secrets Revealed

Ethan's POV

As I walk up to my apartment that I share with Kate, who is never there, I have this strange feeling that I am being watched. I turn around and recognize Jason Taylor, Christian's top security guy along with Reynolds. I can't recall if I even know his first name. I am not surprised. When I returned from London the other day, Kate called me and warned me that both Elliot and Christian had found out about why I went to London and they were pissed. While both men promised not to clean my clock, I have expected a visit from Christian at some point and I know I will have to sort this out with Elliot soon as well. I wish I had never told my sister how I felt about Ana. But I honestly couldn't take it another minute. I am consumed and obsessed with her. I am trying to do the right thing by staying away, yet everyone is pissed off at me. My mom found out as well and she ripped me a new one the other day. I am just waiting for my dad to get on my ass next. So much for being honest.

Taylor approaches me. "Ethan, I checked your schedule for your classes and you're free for the next three hours. Mr. Grey asked me to pick you up and bring you to Grey House so you could have a discussion." I see Reynolds standing behind him. Like I have a choice. If I say fuck off, they probably will throw me in the car anyway. Jason has always been nice to me, but he is cold and aloof right now and I can tell he is privy to my feelings about Ana as well.

"Why does he want to talk to me?" Stupid question, but I figure I can play dumb.

"You will have to take that up with him, but you need to come with us." And if I don't? I take out my phone and text Kate to let her know I have been beckoned to see Christian. I am expecting her to freak out and instead she texts back.

Yes I know he called me. He just wants to talk, maybe vent, he won't hurt you he gave me his word. Please tell me my sister is not that naïve. He may not hurt me but he has two guys that out weight me by forty pounds each that could put some serious hurt on me. I am not a great athlete, never fought much and if I were honest I would say I am probably somewhat of a wimp. Well maybe not a wimp but I am not like the Grey brothers.

We drive over to Grey House in relative silence until we pull up and Reynolds picks up his phone. "Hey baby, tell the boss we are headed up with Mr. Kavanagh." Who was he talking to? My hands are sweaty and this is awkward, but I need to man up, be honest and ask Christian how we can all survive in the same universe and get through this mess. Hopefully he will understand that I have been trying to do the right thing. I know he will take exception to how I treated Mia, but it wasn't like she didn't want to fuck me. She kept practically begging me to be intimate with her. I was with other girls besides her over the summer. I didn't tell Mia or Kate that, but I felt less guilty about fucking girls I picked up in bars than I did about being with Mia. I never intended to use her.

Taylor and Reynolds escort me up to the executive level and Taylor knocks on a door that must be his fucking highnesses office. He says something and motions for me to enter. I get up, sigh and walk in to see Christian standing and leaning against his desk. Impressive digs, but I expected that.

"Ethan, thanks for coming. I thought we should talk. Have a seat. Can I get you some coffee or a bottle of water?" Always the gentleman, even when he is about to fuck you over.

"No, I'm fine." I sit down. "What is this about Christian? I have a class at 2:00 and I should be studying."

He shakes his head and smirks at me. "Don't insult me okay. You know why I want to talk. I don't want this to get ugly and I want us to agree on some sort of common ground. Your sister is marrying my brother. I don't think we should let this escalate and yet, I need to know just how serious of a fucking infatuation you have for my wife. I am trying to be reasonable here, but Ana has been through enough with the Hyde thing, I want to make sure she is safe."

"Come on Christian, I am not a fucked up lunatic. I would never hurt her or make her uncomfortable. I only told my sister how I was feeling so she would quit inviting me to be around all of you until I get these feelings I have for Ana resolved."

"How long?"

"How long what?"

"How long have you felt like you were in love with Ana?" He sits down across from me on the sofa.

I take a deep breath. "Look I gave always had feelings for her ever since I met her five years ago. The first time Kate introduced me to her college friend and roommate I almost fell out of my chair. You know Ana is unassuming and has no idea…"

"I am not interested in you selling me on my wife's beauty. I know exactly how beautiful and unassuming she is. I just want to know how deep your feelings are and when you decided it was love vs. lets say a crush or whatever."

Christian is staring at me and playing with the shoelace on his outrageously expensive shoes. He is wearing what looks like a very expensive suit and I realize that if this is what Ana wanted, then I probably never had a chance with her. He and I have nothing in common other than we both grew up in wealthy homes.

"I had no idea she was seeing you when I flew back for their graduation. I had planned to ask her out and of course I was thinking when I moved in with her and Kate that she would start feeling the same way towards me as I felt about her. I have had it bad for her for several years. Whenever we all got together over the past few years you know she and I would always be together and have a good time."

"What the fuck does that mean?" Christian looks pissed.

"You know just dance, hang out nothing serious. Kiss a few times – relax, we never slept together."

"Fuck you Kavanagh." He looks pissed and he starts yelling. "And now? You hung out with us all summer, went with us to Aspen, came to our wedding and dated my sister. Why now? What happened to make you come clean about your feelings?" He stands up and he is pointing at me and pacing.

"Look I am trying to be honest with you dude. So chill out." He glares at me. "When Ana and Mia were kidnapped by Hyde, all I could think about was Ana and I was so scared. I hardly thought about how Mia was doing and I felt terrible about that. When I found out Ana was pregnant, I knew that your relationship was real and I don't know, I guess I knew I couldn't be around her for awhile, so I ended it with Mia and have backed off."

"What the fuck are you talking about you knew it was real! Did you not attend our wedding? Do you feel noble for dumping my sister after you fucked her and took her virginity? You are one delusional fuck Ethan."

"Please don't judge me and be a hypocrite. I am sorry about Mia but it's not like you didn't pop a few cherries in your day and she was begging me. You know I tried to avoid fucking her all summer but she pouted and just wanted it. It was wrong I know that but… " Okay that wasn't the right thing to say as he has just crossed the room and pulled me up by the shirt. I scrunch my eyes waiting for his fist to hit my face.

"Mr. Grey, you said not to let you do this." Oh thank fuck I didn't even realize Taylor was behind me. Has he been here the whole time? Grey drops me.

"Don't let me ever hear you talk about Mia that way again. And not that it is any of your fucking business but I have only had sex with one virgin in my life and I married her. So, don't be sanctimonious with me you little fuck." I watch him go over to his bar and he downs a glass of bourbon. Little early for a drink isn't it. This conversation is going nowhere.

"What do you want from me? I wish Mia nothing but the best. She is a really sweet, attractive girl and I hear she is very happy with her new boyfriend. I stayed away on Thanksgiving because I don't want to see Ana pregnant with your kid and be around her. I am trying to get on with my life. I have tried being with a few other girls that I have met and I am still not quite able to stop thinking about Ana, but I know she is your wife and she is happy. So, hopefully, I will move on here soon. But you need to tell me why I am here, because, I don't know what else I can do here."

Christian paces back and forth. "I want you to leave and go somewhere else. I know that you will be running into us at the wedding and down the road, but I want you to go finish your masters somewhere else and stay the hell away from my wife. I have strict instructions that if my security team sees you anywhere near her, they will use force to keep you away from her. But I want you gone. Go to school somewhere else Ethan and get on with your life."

"I already have an application to transfer at Pepperdine University and Arizona State. I told Kate that she should figure out what to do with the apartment, because I need to leave. Okay is that what you wanted to hear? I would never go after your wife. That is why I have separated myself from all of you, don't you get that. I was wrong to be with Mia. It wasn't like I was trying to hurt her, I kept hoping I would have feelings for her and not Ana, but it never happened okay." I stand up and Taylor comes closer. "Fuck, would you guys relax. I am not stupid, you both could easily kick my ass, I am not going to do anything I just want to stand up. I don't like sitting and looking up at you."

"What can I do to help facilitate your departure to California or ASU?" Christian walks over to his desk. "Who is the head of the department at ASU? Or is Pepperdine your first choice?"

"Look you don't need to buy me a spot at either school. I can get in on my own. If I need your help I will let you know. I want to leave as bad as you want me gone okay." I turn around and look at Taylor before turning back to look at Christian. "I promise I won't be anywhere near Ana. Look she doesn't have any interest in me, so this is ridiculous. She loves you and is pregnant with your kid. Even if I were to run into her, it's all you dude." He nods his head and crosses his arms.

"Okay. Let me know if you need for me to make a call or donation or whatever to get you into one of those schools. I think it is best if you just get out of Seattle for awhile. I can't make you obviously, but I don't like you. I never have Ethan and I don't want to see you anymore than I have to. Knowing you are in love with my wife, doesn't work for me. I am a jealous man and Ana is my life. I don't want Ana to go over to see Kate and worry about you being there. So, that is why you are here. If we have to have this discussion again, it won't just be a discussion."

"I understand that Christian. That is why I am trying to leave." Christ how many ways do I have to tell him this.

"As far as using my sister, I don't care if you fall madly in love tomorrow with somebody new and you are no longer in love with Ana, I will never like you for how you disrespected Mia, for how you used her to be close to Ana all summer and how you played her. We won't ever get past that, and you have a bigger problem with Elliot on that subject than you do me. If we can agree to be civil at the wedding and we can agree that you are not to be anywhere near Ana unless I am there as well, then you are good to go."

I nod my head. I reach out to shake his hand. He shakes his head and doesn't extend his hand.

"Taylor, please take him home."

"You know Grey, I don't like you or Elliot either. Neither of you arrogant pricks deserve Ana or Kate, but I love my sister, and that is why you can trust me not to break my word. But, I hope for Ana's sake you can keep her happy because she only deserves the best."

"Taylor, get him the fuck out of here before I break my promise."

I get in the elevator with Taylor who shakes his head and looks at me. "You have no fucking idea how lucky you are. If Grey didn't worship his wife and hadn't promised her he wouldn't get physical with you, your face would be hurting right now. I hope you don't look a gifted horse in the mouth. You fuck up and I will hurt you. I didn't promise anyone anything, got that?"

"Don't bother taking me home, I will call a cab."

"Good, I wasn't going to take you home. Just making sure you exit the building. And so you know, we have surveillance on you, so watch your step."

I walk outside and call a cab. I can't believe these fuckers. I would never hurt Ana and they act all bad ass. I understand that he is pissed that I have strong feelings about his wife, but Grey can't make me leave. As it is, I wanted to get out of Seattle. It's too painful to even be in the same town as Ana. But now I am pissed. I might hang around just to irritate that cocky fucker.

Christian's POV

"Hey. I just had my chat with your future brother-in-law."

"Really how did it go?"

"Let's just say we don't like each other."

"Did you punch him?"

"No Elliot I didn't, I almost did but that was when he talked shit about Mia. But he has agreed to transfer schools. So he's your problem now. As long as he isn't around my wife, I don't have anything else to say to him. But thank fuck he isn't going to be my brother-in-law."

"Yea thanks for that. Did he say anything about me?"

"Yea, he doesn't like you or me."

"Big fucking deal. I told Kate I am not ready to see him. As it is I have to go over to her parent's house for Christmas dinner and see him. That out to be a fucking blast. So when do you and Ana leave for New York again?"

"Monday through Thursday why?"

"Kate is bugging me to get us an invite to go along. She wants to go Christmas shopping in New York and drag me to some Christmas show at Radio City Music Hall."

"You guys can come I don't care. It might be fun. Can you take the time off?"

"Yea, the work at Gramps house is done. We are only finishing projects through the rest of the year and then after the New Year we start the revitalization project and I won't be getting any time off for months from that. By the way, are you keeping a list of things that need to be adjusted or fixed at your house? I know Ana told me her closet racking is lose, and Gail send a list of items from the kitchen, but I was expecting more items. Fuck I'm good."

"Whatever. So, we square on what I owe you? I told Mike to cut you your final payment the other day. I appreciate how hard you guys worked to get us in before Christmas. We are loving it."

"No, we are good. You over paid me, by a lot, like a half million too much….but I am fucking sick of arguing with you about it. Let me talk to Kate and I will let you know if we are going with you next week. I guess I will see you tomorrow night at the fundraiser. Fuck I don't want to go to that."

"Me neither. Okay laters."

I hang up from talking to Elliot and I trying to figure out how I let go of my conversation with Ethan before I get home.

We pull in the garage. "Feel like working out in about thirty minutes." I ask Taylor. He nods and tells me he will meet me in the gym. I love my new gym and living here. We have so much more freedom. I can't believe I stayed at Escala so many years. One week of privacy and having everything I need in my own home has made a huge difference. None of us feel so cooped up.

I walk in the house and try to figure out where Ana is. That is the one thing, this house is so big I haven't quite figured out how to find her without going all over the house. I see Gail in the kitchen.

"Good evening Mr. Grey. What time would you like dinner?"

"Taylor and I are going to work out in thirty minutes. Is eight o'clock too late?" She tells me that will be fine. "Do you know here Mrs. Grey is?"

"She was in her study the last I saw her."

I walk down the hallway and find her on the couch talking on her cell. I loosen my tie and listen to her conversation. She is talking to Carla again.

"Mom, I don't see how I can get there before Christmas. You are welcome to come here." She smiles when she sees me. "Mom, I will ask him but I told you I don't think that will go over real well and I think we have plans anyway. That is the weekend of the GEH holiday party." I shake my head at her to let her know that if it is about her going to see her mom, the answer is still no. "Mom I will call you back. Love you."

"Hi." I sit down next to her and pull her over to me and kiss her cheek. "How was your day?" I put my hand on her bump and rub it gently. I love it when the baby kicks or rolls around.

Ana tells me about all the calls she made and how she is still exhausted from our trip to Montreal. We got back home last night about one in the morning and I wanted her to stay home today, but of course she wouldn't.

"Hey, I want to be honest with you. I met with Ethan today."

"You did? Why?"

"I felt we needed to clear the air and I wanted him to know I don't want him near you." Ana rolls her eyes at me.

"You didn't hit him or anything did you?"

"No. But he said something that I have to tell you kind of surprised me. It pissed me off and I want you to be honest with me."

"Sure go ahead."

"He made it sound like you too hooked up over the years. He was clear that you never had sex, which of course I know that, but he did make it sound like you would hang out and kiss and shit and you led me to believe that nothing ever really happened between you." I am trying to be calm and not irrational, but I am not happy at the moment and if Ana confirms this I think I will have to get up and walk away.

"Are we seriously having this conversation?"

"Yes we are. So, just what did you and Ethan do together and why did you never tell me?"

"Christian, seriously drop it. We kissed a few times, that's it."

"Kissed like a peck on the lips or kiss, like tongue and making out. I need to know."

"Oh you are ridiculous. You have fucked half the women in Seattle and you are pissed about this."

"I didn't say I was pissed just wanted to know how much credence there is to Ethan's feelings for you. Had I known you had swapped spit with Ethan, I would have never let him near you all summer. How would you have liked it if say Elliot was dating one of my former subs or whatever. You would have been pissed. So just tell me Ana."

"I told you we kissed a few times."

"Define few and tell me tongue or no tongue."

Ana tries to stand up and I pull her close to me and hold her face. "Just fucking answer the question Ana and I promise I will drop it."

"Oh for god's sake, we made out maybe six or seven times. Yes tongue, okay…but that was over a year ago."

"Did he touch you?"

"No."

"He touched you didn't he. He copped a feel of your tit."

"No, he didn't."

"Did he try?"

She takes a deep breath. "Yes, but I didn't feel that way towards him, so I grabbed his hand when he tried and stopped him. That was the last time he ever kissed me. Now are we done here?"

"Why didn't you ever tell me this?"

"Okay, seriously Christian, I am going to go change my clothes. You need to drop this right now. You are the last person that should be talking to me about my past."

She is right, but she knew what she was getting with me. I can't help wonder if there is anything else she hasn't told me? I mean at the end of the day, she was a virgin and I know she didn't sleep around and was inexperienced, but I am pissed she never told me about her and Ethan.

I stand up. "I am going to go work out. See you at dinner."

"Christian, are you seriously mad."

"Yes Ana, I am trying to keep my cool, but whenever I mentioned to you in the past that Ethan wanted you; you laughed it off and never once hinted that you had been with him. So, yes, I am jealous, pissed and getting madder by the minute. So, I am going to go work out so we don't stand here and fight about it. Do not, and I mean it, do not say another god damn word." I storm off.

"Screw you Christian." I stop for a second and then walk to the door and lock it. I turn around and walk over to where Ana is standing. "What was that?"

"You heard me. I am not going to justify or defend myself over a few kisses with someone I knew in college while you fucked half of Seattle."

"A few kisses with someone that you have been around over and over again and knew he was in love with you and you didn't feel it was important to tell me." I run my hands through my hair. "You know I have issues where you're concerned. You are mine and I am furious you never told me the real scope of your relationship with Ethan."

"Why did you just lock the door?"

"Because I don't want anyone to walk in on me spanking you and then seeing me fuck you."

"Pleasure or pain?"

"You just said screw you Christian. I aim to please. You will have to tell me if it was pleasurable."

"And if I say no."

"You won't."

"How do you know I won't?"

"Because you know you deserve it and you know that while your perfect little ass may sting for a few minutes, I won't hurt you. Just like you know that I will be fucking you hard and fast for my pleasure and to remind you that I am the only man that has ever had you or who will ever have you. Now please come over to the couch with me."

Ana doesn't move and looks at me. "Make me."

"Ana, I am not going to get rough with you and you know it. You're getting too pregnant for me to throw you over my shoulder. I don't want to hurt you. But if you want me to pick your ass up and carrying you over to your desk, where I plan to lift your dress up, remove your panties, spank your ass several times and then fuck you-I will. Or you can walk over here; but one way or another Mrs. Grey you are getting fucked." I remove my jacket and roll the sleeves on my shirt up. I need this and she better not deny me.

"This is your deal Christian. You want me, come and get me." Oh keep talking baby, I will be more than happy to make my point. I walk briskly to where she is standing and pick her up bridal style. She giggles.

"Ana, I'm not fucking laughing. This will be hard and for my pleasure not yours." I look down at her and she is trying really hard not to laugh. When did I lose control? Fuck. "Ana!" She burst out laughing.

"Christian, if you want to fuck, we will fuck. But you are not intimidating me you're only making me laugh."

"We'll see how hard you're laughing in a few minutes baby." I put her down, swing her around and tell her to put her hands on her desk. I lift up her skirt, rip her panties off of her and smack her ass harder than I probably have ever spanked her. I held on to her around the waist to make sure she didn't jar anything or hit the desk from the force of my swat but her ass is nice and pink.

"Fuck Christian, that hurt."

"Good. Now what was it you told me? Oh yes, screw you." I plunge into her. "Is this what you meant baby?" I fuck her hard for the next few minutes and don't even try to pleasure her. I just fuck her hard and fast. I can feel her getting wetter. "Don't cum Ana or I will be even more pissed." I continue to fuck her until I cum and then pull out of her the minute I do. I step back and walk away. "Don't ever treat me like this again Ana."

I walk out of the room and slam the door.

Ana's POV

What the hell was that? I can't believe he was that angry just because I never told him I made out with Ethan a few times. I guess I see his point about how Ethan was around us all summer and I wasn't quite as forthcoming as I should have been, but to come in here and act all jealous and barbarian. Seriously? I would have never laughed at him or challenged him if I knew he had gone all fifty on me. Now I am pissed. He just treated me like a receptacle and talk about disrespectful.

I go into the kitchen after cleaning up and see that dinner is done. I am not eating with him. Asshole. I fix my plate and eat while he is working out in his gym. After I eat I go into our bathroom and run a bath, sit in it and try not to cry. The only other time I remember him treating me so cold during sex was when we were on our honeymoon the day I took my swim suit top off.

I am playing with the drain with my toes when I hear him come in.

"Did you eat without me?" I don't respond. I am too angry. I just glare at him.

"Answer me."

"You obviously know I did, so don't ask."

"Why."

"Why. Are you serious? You just fucked me like I was some whore, not your wife and talk about being disrespectful. What was that?"

"I told you it was about my pleasure and not yours. You are mine, I don't like that you were less than honest about you and Ethan. I never raised my voice with you, but I told you I was jealous and not happy and you fucking thought it was funny and laughed about it. So, yes I fucked you hard, which I warned you I was going to do. What was that?... It was me telling you that I won't put up with you keeping shit from me Ana and I won't put up with anyone else wanting you and you not telling me about it. I am your husband and if someone is interested in you as Ethan was, someone I might add that you had a past with, as minimal as it was, and you knew that he cared for you and never said anything….yea that was a punishment fuck. Get over it." He takes off his workout gear and gets in the shower. He is still pissed.

I get out of the tub and go to the laundry room. I spilled something on my dress and want to rinse it. When I come back through I see Christian sitting at the counter eating his dinner. He jumps a bit when I put my hands on his shoulder.

"I'm sorry."

"For?"

"Not being honest with you about Ethan and for not understanding that you were really struggling with the whole thing. I should know you better than that and I didn't mean to laugh at you. But, I don't like how you treated me. You made me feel dirty." I run my hands through his hair.

He turns around and faces me. "I accept your apology. Did I hurt you physically?"

"No, of course not. Well the slap on my ass didn't feel great, but no, more my ego and pride were hurt more than anything. You were so cold and I don't like it when you act that way."

"I know. But you won't forget how I feel about you not being honest with me either will you."

"Christian, stop it. I don't like you when you act this way. Now I said I was sorry, can we move on?"

He pulls me in his arms and kisses my neck.

"I can't stand the thought of anyone else wanting what is mine and I can't believe that fucker was around you all summer wishing you were his. Had I known you were actually make-out buddies at one point, I would have never let him near you. I still can't believe every time I brought this up to you, you denied it or made it sound like there was never anything there. Please understand my position on this."

"I said I do. But tell me how fucking me from behind, spanking me and treating me like some whore makes us even."

"I didn't mean to make you feel like a whore. But I did mean to remind you who your husband is and if I want to fuck you fifty shades into Sunday, I will. Now let's drop it."

I am not talking about this anymore. He is acting all Fifty on me and being territorial. I just need to let him get this out of his system. But, when he is in a better mood, I need to let him know he can't treat me like this. I know I wasn't as honest with him as I should have been, but I honestly have no feelings for Ethan other than as a friend and I knew he would get over the top jealous if he knew. "Fine, I am going to bed. I am tired. I think we should quit talking about this anymore tonight."

"I agree, I will be joining you in a few minutes."

I certainly hope he doesn't think he is getting any tonight because he is about one minute away from the guest room.

I get into bed and get as far over on my side as I possibly can and take a manuscript out to read. I must have fallen asleep because when I wake up the lights are off and he is on his side of the bed sleeping and the manuscript is on the dresser. I roll over and fall back asleep.

I wake up when the alarm goes off and open my eyes to see Christian leaning over me.

"Good morning." I don't say anything. "Can we forget about yesterday? I am sorry I was so pissed and for the way I treated you."

"Okay." I move to get up but Christian holds my arm. He gives me butterfly kisses on my neck and face.

"Can we make love? I need to know we are okay?" Of course it always comes to this instead of talking it through.

"I have an early meeting." Now I sound cold. He looks at me and I can tell he is hurt. I can't resist him when he gives me this look. "Okay, listen Christian, for all practical purposes, I have no past with men and you know that. I kissed a few guys and you are the only man that has ever touched me intimately, you're the only man I have ever slept with, and you will be the only man for the rest of my life that ever touches me. I am sorry I never told you Ethan and I made out a few times. In light of his recent confession about thinking he is in love with me, which by the way is ridiculous, I guess I can see why this has you so upset. I didn't tell you about it because I knew you would not want him around, and it was important to Kate that he hang out with us just like you enjoy having your sister and brother around you. But I am angry with you right now for the way you treated me last night. Be mad, fine, but the punishment fuck, that won't happen again." I push off of him and try to get up. Good lord, if I am having trouble getting up at 22 weeks pregnant, how will I be in two more months.

"Don't get up yet, please. I am sorry about last night. You're right. The jealous me and the old me showed up last night and I didn't handle it well. You didn't deserve that."

Those grey eyes. Those damn beautiful grey eyes and that perfectly sculpted mouth. I can't help it, I run my fingers along his mouth and he grabs my hand taking my fingers in his mouth to suck on.

"I have to pee Grey, you need to let me up."

"Please come right back baby." He takes my hand and puts it on his very hard erection. Okay I get it. Jeez.

I come back from the bathroom and Christian is lying on top of the covers completely naked. His pajama bottoms are off and he has removed his t-shirt. I am wearing one of his t-shirts and flannel pajama bottoms which I shimmy out of, leaving my shirt on. It is cold out and the house is chilly.

"Top off Mrs. Grey." I roll my eyes and quickly remove my top and almost dive back in bed pulling the covers around me.

"Okay Grey make this quick I have work to do." I giggle, knowing how that sounds. Christian pulls me over to him and towers over me holding my chin.

"If you recall, this is why you were mad at me, I used you as a receptacle last night. I don't want that baby, I want to make love to you this morning. Is that a problem?" He is rotating his finger around my breast. "Look how dark and round your areolas' have gotten. Are they tender?"

"A little. They probably would feel better if you sucked on them."

"Hmmm. I can do that." Christian massages my breast firmly and then pulls my breast into his mouth with a suctioned force. I feel his tongue moving around and around and he blows on my nipple making it enlarge. He repeats the process with my other breast. It feels really good. He straddles my body and works his way from my breast down my stomach and comments that from my navel a brown line has started to form. "Linea Nigra."

"What?"

"Linea Nigra. That is what this line is called. It should go away after Ted is born. I happen to find it very sexy. You know what else gets darker on some women?"

"No, what?" Figures Fifty would know this stuff. I am sure he has researched everything.

"The clitoris. During pregnancy, some women get a darker pigmentation. Let me check and see how you're doing in that department." Christian takes his sweet time, kissing my bump and singing 'I've been working on the railroad' to my bump. He is rewarded with a roll. "Hey little man, you go get busy for about twenty minutes. I am about to invade your space." He gives my belly some nuggies and it tickles. How can I stay mad at him when he is playful like this? He shimmies down between my legs and separates my folds. "Yes you are a bit darker in this area too. Would you like to see?"

"Huh. What do you mean?" He looks up and because of my bump now in the way I only see his eyes and the top of his head, but I feel him smiling.

"I can get a mirror or take a picture. It is sexy as hell baby. Want to see?"

"No, I think I am good, ah." He is very slowly licking me from my opening to the tip of my slit, up and down like he is licking frosting off a cupcake. After a few minutes he sucks on my bud and I feel it to my core. "You taste delicious. I could munch on you all day." I rub my feet against the back of his muscular thighs. "What baby, are you getting inpatient?" I feel his words against my core and the vibration combined with the slow sensuous licks start having their desired effect. Quickly Christian scoots up the bed, pushing the pillows out of the way and grabs me. I start to sit on his very large erection but he turns me over and positions me so I am sitting on his face and I can suck on his hard, mouthwatering cock at the same time. I feel two fingers inside of me, his tongue assaulting my clit and his nose rubbing hard on my core. I lunge for his cock needing to fill myself with his velvety hard dick. He is ravishing me and as I feel my release I quake with him pushing me down hard on his face. I hear him sucking my juices out of me and my orgasm is so intense that I can't keep him in my mouth, needing to cry out in ecstasy. As I am winding down but still quivering he pushes me down his body and lifts me on top of his massive erection making me cry out. I am not facing him and I ride him hard watching his feet arch and tense as he cums loudly inside of me. Oh that was intense. I fall forward with my head resting on his knees. He is massaging my ass and even though I know I will be late, I can't move. I can tell he is getting softer inside of me, so I squeeze my internal muscles and he groans as I clench the last of his warm liquid out of him.

Wow, I love make up sex.

As we leave for work I see another delivery truck arrive and I know when we get home from work there will be something else to look at, move around and fuss with. This house is so big I lose track of where I am heading half the time. We have been in the new house for a week, but Gail and the team have done an excellent job of organizing us and making it feel like we have been here forever.

When we came back from Montreal Christian carried me over the threshold and it was so romantic. I was so excited to find two huge Christmas trees already in place and we spent the next few days decorating and running out to buy ornaments. We picked up several boxes of ornaments in a shop in Montreal, but not nearly enough. When we leave for New York on Monday I plan to buy more ornaments. I bought one in Montreal that was of a bride and groom and said First Christmas. I had them paint Ana and Christian on the ornament and 2011. I think Christian thought it was cheesy but it is my favorite. I can tell that we see Christmas trees differently. He wanted our tree to be all color coordinated and decorated like it belongs in Neiman's. I like a tree that is mismatched and personal. I found a helicopter ornament and had Charlie Tango painted on it; a glider with FM painted on it. I finally found out Elliot nicknamed Christian's glider the flying masturbator because he accused Christian of getting off in it and it looks like a large dildo. I found other ornaments of a mask, catamaran, Eiffel Tower, Champagne and even reindeer bells that sort of remind me of the Ben Wa balls. Christian knew why I bought those and loved putting them on the tree. No one will know but us what they symbolize.

I have hardly been to work and I feel so stressed about missing so much time away but I know Christian won't let me stay behind as he makes these trips. He insists if he is traveling he needs me with him. I have all but given up hope that he takes my career very seriously and sees it as little more than a hobby. I have not given up though. I am actually ahead on my reading and have given Ann very detailed reports on each manuscript and today we had phone conferences and meetings with four different authors. I had a meeting with her and tried to explain that my husband wants me on these trips with him and I sincerely hope she doesn't think I am not committed. She just shrugged and said it didn't matter what she thought as Christian owned the company. She did add that I was very talented and Grey Publishing would benefit from having me around more. Ha, tell the control freak that.

If I am honest though, I really just like to read and review and being away from the office without interruptions and mindless meetings allows me to do that. I find myself thinking more and more about who will take care of the baby when he's born and I get emotional because I don't think I can stand the thought of anyone else taking care of him, yet I want my career too. I wonder if all women feel this way. I can't say anything to Christian because he would be all over that. He does not want me to work and he really feels strongly about me staying home with the baby. I swear I have married someone right out of the fifties. He is so old fashioned about so many issues. He isn't kidding when he comments about me being barefoot and pregnant in his kitchen. He always smiles but he isn't fooling me at all.

As we are riding home Sawyer has the radio playing in the car. When we pull up outside our gated driveway there is a number of press waiting.

"What is this about Sawyer?" He shrugs. We drive through the gate and then learn why the media crowd has gathered. Sawyer turns up the radio.

"Elena Lincoln, a former business associate of GEH CEO Christian Grey passed away this afternoon from cancer at Seattle's Swedish Hospital Cancer Center. Mrs. Lincoln, whose age was unknown left a statement to be read at her death that she was leaving any money from her estate to The Frank Foundation, an organization that helps sexually abused children in honor of Christian Grey. She called Grey her dearest friend and in her final words said she hoped that in time he would learn to forgive her. There has been no comment from the Grey camp or what the relevance of all this means."

Oh my god. What has she done?