Disclaimer!! I own nothing! Except my wonderful Ipod and my own ideas for One Tree Hill. Everything belongs to Mark and whatever going on inside that mind of his. All I did was use quotes from the show sometimes. : )

Sorry for the delay. My computer is on the fritz and this is the first I've been able to get on in like a day and plus I just started school and that's been keeping me busy too. But no worries...

To answer some questions: No Kimberly has not had contact with anyone in Tree Hill (yet). As for Tyler, he's dealing with this in his own way. Remember, Kimberly left without really knowing where exactly Grace lived, so not a lot of people no where she is again I'll add a yet.

And as for Haylee's question: there's nothing really going on in Julian's life, at least not right now. He just said that to make Brooke feel guilty for being so absorbed in her problems. It seems mean but we all do it.

Song by Frightened Rabbit


Chapter Twenty Nine: Good Arms vs. Bad Arms

Friedrich Nietzsche once said: "He who fights with monsters might take care lest he thereby become a monster. And if you gaze for long into an abyss, the abyss gazes also into you."

Good arms versus bad arms

Will win hands down


They are built to hold and fit


Look how far they go around

She walked in through the door and threw her backpack down by the stairs like she always had. School sucked. It was official. Once again, Kimberly was at a new school where she didn't know anyone. Well, she knew Hannah. But the two didn't really run in the same crowd.

It's been a few weeks since she started at her new school and still hasn't made friends. Hannah tried to be nice and introduce her to a few people, but Kimberly had those loner chops and blew her off. She didn't want a new school or new people, but this is what she had, and this is how she's dealing with it.

Walking into the kitchen, Kimberly saw an angry Grace sitting at the table with her little sidekick, Hannah, leaning up against the counter.

Hannah seemed like one of those people that could be really nice if you were nice to her but could be a bitch if you were one to her. She didn't exactly know why she automatically hated her or why she hung around the house so much. She was always here. When she got up in the morning there was Hannah. When she came home from school there was Hannah. She was like a frickin' fly.

At first Kimberly ignored them and went on her way to grab a bottle of water from the fridge, but when she shut the door and Grace was still staring at her, she knew something was wrong.

"What?" She asks irritated by the staring.

The two exchanged glances while Kimberly stood by and watched. Grace decided to speak first. "Aren't you forgetting something?" Kimberly leans against the refrigerator and shoots her a look explaining she has no idea what she's talking about.

"Katy." Hannah piped in saying the little girl's name as if it were to explain everything. And it did to Kimberly. Her shoulders slumped and she gasped remembering that she was supposed to pick up Katy from school today.

"Oh my God, I totally forgot. Where is she? Is she OK?" She asks in a panic.

Before Grace could answer, Katy came rushing down the stairs and into soon to be violent territory between mother and daughter. "Hey Katy." Kimberly says bending down to eye level.

"You didn't pick me up from school today." She stated.

"Yeah, I'm, I'm sorry."

"It's OK." She shrugged off like any child would. "Hannah came and got me."

"Well that was very nice of Hannah." Kimberly says giving Hannah a thank you nod. "I'll tell you what; I'll read you a story tonight to make it up to you. How does that sound?"

"OK." She said with that usual missing tooth smile. Kimberly told her to go upstairs to pick out a book saying she would be there in a few minutes before she went back to Grace and Hannah.

"So where were you?" Grace asked.

Kimberly shrugged. "I was just walking around town. You know, getting a feel of the new 'home'." She says sarcastically.

"Bull." Hannah said.

Kimberly glared towards her. "You know, it's not nice to interrupt people. Especially when it's none of your business."

"It's also not nice to break your promises." She shot back. Before Kimberly could respond, Grace told Hannah to go upstairs with Katy, leaving the two alone. Reluctantly, Hannah started for the stairs but not before her and Kimberly exchanged scowls.

"You should have called." Grace said bringing Kim back to her attention. "At least then I wouldn't have been as worried."

She scoffed. "I forgot. You know, kind of like you did. I wish you would have called too."

"Low blow." She stated not seeming phased by it. "Can you drop the whole bad ass–no one loves me–attitude. It's getting kind of old." Kimberly scoffed again keeping her eye contact away from the woman.

"What do you want from me? Do you want me to be this perfect little daughter like Katy is? I'm sorry, but I can't be that. Especially with you."

"Kimberly…"

"No, you walk around here like nothing's wrong and that you're this terrific mom!" She screams. "Everything's wrong! This whole picture is wrong! It's not supposed to be like this."

"What do you want me to do, Kimberly? What's it going to take for you to forgive me?"

"Nothing." She gritted.

"Then why are you here?" Grace questions flying up from her chair. "If you hate it so much than go back to Tree Hill."

She stayed silent each knowing that was a low blow. "I wish I could." She mumbled under her breath. Grace heard it but decided not to call her out on it. They each stood their ground, neither one daring to move. Moments passed before another one spoke. Each with different feelings towards the other. Kimberly was trying her hardest not to cry but it was becoming harder and harder. Grace wanted to run up to her and wipe away the tears that were coming for her daughter. But she couldn't because she lost that prilivege a long time ago. "You want me to go? Then fine, I'll go."

She started towards the door with Grace chasing after her. "Kimberly!" She tried to stop "Stop!"

"Screw you!" She spitted back.

"I didn't mean it! I'm sorry!" Grace calls out apologizing for so much more than her words and Kimberly knows exactly what she's apologizing for. She was saying sorry for leaving and those years with her father. She was apologizing for those five years of not being there. And she was apologizing for ever coming back.

"You're sorry?!? After everything all I get is an 'I'm sorry'?" She questions. "Fuck you." Reaching for the handle she stopped when she heard Katy's voice at the bottom of the steps.

"Kimberly, I'm ready!"

"Not now, Katy." Kimberly responded ready to bolt out the door.

"But Kim…"

"I said not now!" She hollered swinging the door open and storming out. Grace stood there shocked by the outburst not knowing whether or not to go after her or not. While Katy was on the brink of tears in her eyes after being yelled at. She didn't know why Kimberly yelled at her but she did and it made her upset. And Hannah?

She was already out the door in search of Kimberly.

You don't need these now that

You've found another pair


And the difference astounding,

I should expect, except

Kimberly was out of the house and down the street into a near park in record time. Her mind was racing. A simple argument going into a major meltdown. It had been like this for weeks. These little fights which to Kimberly were getting stupider and stupider.

She hated Grace. Yes. She hated fighting with her. Yes. And she wanted to stop. Yes.

But she couldn't.

Because everything Grace did somehow triggered something in Kimberly's mind and just made her explode. Grace would be pouring coffee and Kimberly would make a random rude comment causing her to leave the room. She couldn't help herself. She wanted to fight and couldn't keep her comments to herself causing both of them to explode in an argument. All Kimberly wanted was for Grace to realize how much she hurt Kimberly. But nothing she ever said or did felt like enough, because that pain in her heart got bigger and bigger everyday and it would take years for Grace to still not even fully understand that. But she had to give props to Grace for sticking up with it all.

"Hey!" Kimberly heard someone yell from afar. "Hey Kimberly!" It was Hannah.

"Great." She mumbles leaning up against a tree trying to hide.

Her eyes were shut for a split second and when she opened them again there stood Hannah angrier than ever.

"Who the hell do you think you are?!?" Hannah yells with a finger in her face.

Kimberly stares down at that finger. "I'm the person that's about to break that finger if you don't get it out of my face." She says moving away from the tree but was pulled back by Hannah. "Bitch you better back off."

"No you better back off." She warns. "Now I am sick and tired of watching you treat your family like this. And it's going to stop right now."

"This is none of you business."

"When it involves Katy it is my business." She glared and Kimberly tried to stand her ground. But the way this girl looked at her, Kimberly could tell that she really cared about her little sister, like it wasn't obvious before.

"OK, I get it." Kimberly huffed not wanting anything else to do with this girl.

"No, you don't get it." She stopped her. "Look, I've known Grace since she moved into that house. And when Katy was born it's like I became apart of that family. And if you mess with them you mess with me."

She continued. "Now Grace and I have raised Katy to be a respectful kid and her seeing you treat your own mother…"

"Don't call her that." Kimberly warned.

"Treat your own mother like this," Hannah continued. "It's really hard for her. She doesn't know how to act. Around you or Grace." She calmed using the gritting of her teeth as a tool. "I know what she did to you, Kimberly." Changing the subject, Hannah's face softened and Kimberly's went stunned. "I know how bad she feels about it and how she wants to take it back."

"But I don't care." Hannah says shocking Kimberly and maybe even herself a little. "I don't care about your past or the grudge against Grace you have. But I do care about Katy and I want you to let it go."

Immediately she shook her head. "No way. I can't do that."

"It's the past, get over it."

"You don't understand."

"OK, fine. If you won't do it for me then do it for Katy." Hannah reasons after seeing that Kim wouldn't budge. "I know you love her, I can see it, and you'd do anything for her. She's confused and doesn't know how to process this. She doesn't know what's going on between you two. If you show her what's right she'll do it."

"So you want me to just forget everything that she did?" She asks furiously.

"Yes." Hannah bluntly answers. "I'm going to go back inside. I'll leave you here to think things through." Hannah says turning back to the house.

"Hey!" Kimberly yells. Hannah stops and turns back. "I don't really have a choice, do I? Play nice or go home, right?"

"Now you're getting it."

Leave the rest at arm's length

And leave the rest at arm's length


When they reach out, don't touch them

Don't touch them

"Can I come in?" Kimberly asked knocking on the open door into Katy's room. Katy along with Hannah looked up to meet eyes and Kimberly sent them a weak smile. "I need to talk to Katy."

Hannah looked over to the small girl curled up in her bed. "OK, Katy we'll finish this later." She said setting the book down by her bedside and leaning over to kiss the girl on her forehead. "Goodnight girly."

"Night." Her small voice called out.

"Thanks." Kimberly whispered in her ear on her way out.

"Don't mess this up." She whispered back before giving a smile. And for the first time since they first met it looked sincere.

Kimberly walked over to the bed once Hannah was out of the room and sat down on the edge running her fingers through Katy's blonde hair. "Hey, kid." She said putting on a smile.

"Why were you yelling at mommy early?" She asked not avoiding the elephant in the room with her innocent blue yes.

Kimberly sighed. She had completely forgotten that Katy was in the room and the fact that Kimberly ignored her when she wanted attention didn't make matters worse. "I'm sorry about that. I didn't mean for you to hear that. Or to hurt your feelings." She assured.

"Why were you yelling?" She asked again.

She sighed again looking for the right words. "Your mom did some things when I was younger, some really bad things, that I'm not sure I can forgive her for."

"Like what?"

"Things you'll understand when you're older."

Katy thought for a second on the answer knowing it was something that wasn't meant for children ears. "I think you should forgive her." She said as if the simplest thing in the world.

"You do?" Kimberly asked amused. "And why's that?"

"Because mommy's sorry." She answered. Kimberly gave her a not so sure look and went on. "One time at school, this boy named Kevin came up to my desk and took my snack and ate it. I told him to give me his snack since it would be fair but he didn't. So I went home crying and mommy asked me what was wrong so I told her. I told her that I hated him but she said that I should never hate someone."

Kimberly stopped her confusedly. "Where are you going with this story?"

"Let me finish and I'll tell you." She said slightly annoyed by the interruption. Kimberly motioned for her to go on and she did. "Mommy told me that I shouldn't hold grudges. That they're a waste of time. And that if Kevin said he was sorry then I should forgive. So the next day I went to school and Kevin said he was sorry for taking my snack. I said it was OK and now we always share our snacks and we're best friends."

"He's not your boyfriend?" Kimberly asked playfully.

Katy scrunched her face, disgusted by the idea. "No! Boys are icky!"

"You say that now but come find me in ten years and I bet you'll think differently."

"So are you going to forgive mommy?" She asked going back to the previous subject. "She said she was sorry." When you're young a sorry can be said with so much honesty and compassion and when a little kid says it they truly mean it, but when you're older it doesn't mean anything sometimes.

Kimberly went back to serious mode as she wanted to tell her the truth about how she wasn't going to and never was going to forgive Grace. But Hannah's words along with Katy's swirled through her head. And all she could think to do was lie.

"Yeah, kid." She said, her face not too convincing but Katy didn't notice as her smile grew from ear to ear.

"Good."

"Good." Kimberly repeated. "Now you need to go to sleep. I'll see you tomorrow."

"I love you, Kimberly." Katy said once the lights were out and the only light coming from the open door.

"I love you too, Katy."

I decided this decision some six months ago


So I'll stick to my guns, but from now on its war


I am armed with the past, and the will, and a brick


I might not want you back, but i want to kill him

"Hey." Kimberly said creeping around the corner of the room. Grace looked up from her papers and over to Kimberly with a not so pleased look on.

"Hi."

Kimberly inched into the room more nervously with Hannah's words still lingering in her mind. It was funny how one minute she could be so nervous around her mom and then the next so angry. "I just wanted to say…"

"Don't." She stopped. "I saw Hannah go after you and knowing Hannah she probably yelled at you. Besides, you don't have to apologize. I wouldn't."

"Good because I don't want to." Kimberly said letting go of her sincere attitude. Grace chuckled.

"I knew it couldn't last for long."

"I talked to Katy." She announced. "She's pretty confused about all this. She doesn't know how to act." Grace nodded saying she'll do something about it.

"I just want you to know that I can never forgive you for what you did, mom." She said her head hanging low. She wasn't ashamed of telling her. She just didn't want to see her reaction. "You left me lying there on the floor. You blamed me for everything that went wrong in your life. You were passed out on the couch while dad…" She trailed not able to finish. Just the thought alone made her cringe let alone speak it.

"I know." Grace stood from her chair taking a step towards her. Kimberly backed away disgusted by the idea. "I know."

Tears in her eyes, Kimberly continued. "We cold have been a perfect family, mom. Me, you and dad. After Jacob died." She clarified. "Just the three of us. But you guys had different plans, didn't you?" She said her voice shaking.

"And then after dad we still could have been a family. A disfunctional one, but a family. The two of us could have welcomed Katy into this world properly. I would've helped you. I could have forgiven you after dad, but you thought since your life was shit why not make it worse. Why not be the topping on the cake?"

"I didn't think that, Kimberly. I wasn't…"

"Thinking straight? Mind wasn't in the right place? Save it. Nothing I haven't heard before." Her face growing stern, wiping away all past tears. "Hannah told me just to let go of the grudge I'm holding against you and so did Katy." She pauses, letting Grace take in the words.

"But I can't do that." She shook her head as she gritted through her teeth. "You looked me in the eye and told me that you hated me. And I'll never get over that."

"I needed you, mom, but you let me down." She cried trying to hold her composure. "But I'm going to put on a happy face for that little girl upstairs and pretend that nothing is wrong, because she thinks I'm this great sister and you're this great mother and that we're this big happy family. And I want her to keep thinking that because she doesn't know yet how bad the world can get. She doesn't know all about you or all about me. But don't think for a second that my attitude towards you will change anything between us."

And leave the rest at arm's length


I'm not ready to see you this happy


And leave the rest at arm's length

I'm still in love with you, can't admit it yet


I'm not in love with this chapter, but I still like it. Now to me Kimberly seems like a bitch, especially after yelling at Katy, and i tried to make things right with them. She's just a little kid so of course she forgave Kimberly. Hannah told Kimberly to forgive Grace, which is pretty big since Hannah knows what the deal is. Kimberly doesn't agree but decides for Katy that she'll play nice.

Next chapter is underway. I'm about halfway done with it and I think you guys will like it. and if my computer doesn't explode anytime soon i'll try to have it up by Saturday.