I apologize for the long wait, but sometimes life things happen that unfortunately get in the way. Thanks to everyone who has stuck with me and supported this story.
I did do some research on Military Funerals, but have taken a few literary liberties with a couple of things. As a former reservist, I have nothing but respect for those who serve, and this is meant to show that feeling. No disrespect is intended with any inaccuracies that are present.
Please enjoy.
Fort Worth was a scant 45 minutes west of the cemetery in Dallas, and it wasn't long before the two SUVs neared the main entrance. The large, black iron gate was open in invitation, like a pair of huge arms spread apart in welcome.
Steve somberly watched the scenery go by; the sea of crosses representing fallen soldiers and seamen. Soon Tac would join their ranks, and be embraced as another hero and ambassador of the fight against oppression and terror.
"You ok, Steve?" Danny's soft voice broke the silence.
In the whole grand scheme of things, he would be ok. Just as he'd done in the past, he would overcome and move on, body and mind bearing the scars of hardship, shaping who he was as a person.
"Yeah, I will be," he replied honestly, as he shifted his gaze to his partner. Because in the end he knew he had to be. For his own well-being.
Danny nodded in understanding before reaching out to touch Steve's arm, and he felt the gentle, reassuring squeeze. He offered a slight upturn of his lips in a silent thank you. He was fortunate to have such a good team; good friends around him.
The SUV's navigated the roads that meandered throughout the cemetery like a lazy river, and shortly after Steve laid eyes on the small gathering of people up ahead the vehicles rolled to a stop. His gaze roamed across the group in attendance, memories of Freddie's funeral coming back to him. The similarities were obvious, and like his friend Freddie, Tac was able to make it home.
He cleared his throat and pushed aside his rising emotions, erecting a mask of composure when he spotted Fox heading towards their SUVs. He heard a rustle from the front seat as Brick opened the door and climbed out. The Sergeant greeted his CO with a formal salute, which Brad returned stiffly.
Steve reached out to open the door when Danny stopped him.
"Hang on, Steve. "I'll get the door for you."
"Danny, I think I can manage a car door," Steve pointed out with a quiet sigh.
"Just…. humour me, ok?" Danny replied, and before Steve could argue further, the blond had climbed out and was on Steve's side of the SUV, hand reaching out to pull the door open.
"Lou, bring it here, would ya?" Danny waved Grover over, who had Steve's wheelchair already in hand. Steve rubbed a hand down his face in mild frustration. He really didn't need to be treated like he was an invalid, especially in present company, and he couldn't help his pride feeling hurt. He knew he could manage with crutches, and he was about to tell Danny as such.
He saw Danny eyeing him carefully, and he knew his partner could read the look on his face. The SEAL decided he needed to come up with a less predictable set of 'faces'. His friend leaned in close.
"Look, Steve," Danny began, voice lowered so only Steve would hear him. "I know this irks you to no end, but trust me. You feel fine now, but this will be a long day, and you need to do your body a favour and take it easy. You'll have lots of time to push your limits once we get home- much to my chagrin I might add. I am sure no one will think any less of you for needing some mobility help. Something tells me they'll understand, hm?"
Danny's expression pleaded with him to agree.
He sighed again, and considered Danny's words. He knew his partner was right, but his own stubbornness tended to shadow his vision sometimes. A trait he had a hard time reigning in in certain situations.
Danny waited patiently for him to answer, blue eyes searching his face. Steve swallowed his pride and nodded. "Ok, Danny."
Danny looked relieved, shoulders slumping. He waved Lou in closer. Steve allowed them to help him into the wheelchair, and he found that sliding out of the higher SUV and into the lower seat actually made things pretty easy.
"Happy you all could make the trip," Brad welcomed as he approached the team, a smile on his face. "I hope the flight here was smooth."
"It was, and thanks for the VIP treatment, Fox," Chin said as he escorted Kono out of the second vehicle, arm positioned so his cousin could hang on.
"Yeah, we really do appreciate it," Steve offered. "Made our trip a lot less complicated."
"Don't mention it. I'm just glad you were able to attend." He made eye contact with Steve. "You're looking much better, by the way."
"I made sure he behaved himself," Danny interjected. "If not for me he'd already be trying to jump off rooftops and chase down suspects."
Steve rolled his eyes at his friend's flair for the over dramatic. "Yes mother Danno has done a wonderful job," he fired back smartly.
"That's good to hear," Brad said with a smirk.
Steve glanced around, taking in the group in attendance. He thought Brad had said that Joe would be here, but so far he hadn't seen his mentor milling about. "Joe here?"
Brad nodded in affirmation. "He's over talking to Tac's family. Tac's parents and sister are here. Come on. Let's go over and I'll introduce you. Service starts in twenty."
There were, in Steve's estimate, about thirty to thirty-five people here, and he assumed that most of them were from Fox's compound. A handful of people were dressed in civilian attire; likely family and friends. The rest, like Steve, were in full service dress.
Fox turned to lead the way over to where Joe was quietly talking to Tac's family. Steve saw Danny move around behind him and grab the handles of the wheelchair. After a moment's pause the chair began moving.
"Finally I get to drive you around."
Steve smiled. "Don't get used to it, partner." As they approached, he noticed Joe was talking with a young woman, and he saw him lay a gentle hand on her arm as she wiped a stay tear from her face. Probably Tac's sister.
"Hey, glad you all could make it," Joe said when Steve had a chance to make eye contact with him. He said something to the young woman that Steve couldn't make out, and then came closer, placing a hand on Steve's shoulder. "I am so glad to see you on the mend, son. I am sorry I couldn't come and see you."
"Thanks Joe," Steve said. He knew Joe couldn't come to see him once he'd returned to Hawaii, and he held no ill will towards his mentor because of it. "The phone calls were enough."
Steve was happy to see that Joe looked much better himself. The cloud of guilt that had been following the man back in Kandahar like one of those cartoon rain clouds had dissipated. He wondered if Jacob's body had been brought home as well, and if Joe had been able to pay his respects to his lost friend. Steve made a mental note to ask later.
Fox stepped in to make the introductions. "This is Commander Steve McGarrett and his Five-0 task force out of Hawaii. They workedan op with Mike in Afghanistan." He gestured to Tac's family. "Carol and Jim; Mike's parents. And his sister Liz."
Mike… Steve realized he never really knew Tac's actual name. In fact he'd never asked. It didn't matter. To him,Tac was Tac. The young, enthusiastic and skilled member of Fox's team; someone who'd valiantly given up his life so that Steve might be able to live on.
Steve realized his mind was wandering, and he pulled himself back into the here and now as he offered a small smile of sympathy. "On behalf of myself and my team, we're sorry for your loss. Your son was a brave man who gave his life protecting freedom, and he gave hope to those who couldn't protect themselves. I was privileged to have met him."
Jim nodded and reached out to shake Steve's hand. "Thank you Commander."
Steve guessed that Jim new little, if anything at all about what really happened over there. Classified is classified, no matter the case. They would only know that their son died in the line of duty. And sometimes, not knowing the hows and whys were the best thing for their mental stability.
"Captain, it's nearly time to get underway," Brick politely interjected after looking at his watch.
"Of course. Thank you Sergeant," Fox replied. He looked at the group. "If you'll excuse me ladies and gentlemen. He nodded supportively to Tac's family before he turned stiffly on his heel and headed to a chair placed near the mahogany coloured podium at the front, facing the seating. He sat down.
Steve watched Tac's family take their seats, and he took a deep breath to relax himself, heart heavy. He could see the emotional pain in their eyes; knew all too well himself the sorrow that surrounded the loss of someone to the dangers of combat. It was a feeling he knew he'd never really get over, and sadly, it was a feeling he knew deep down could happen again. Their line of work was not without its perils, but the reasons for doing what they did far outweighed the risks. At times a thankless job, it was one he'd taken on long ago and would do it all over again. No questions.
"Danny, take me to the end of this row," Steve asked as he gestured to a space at the end of a row of chairs; the perfect size for his wheelchair. He mentally thanked Fox for his foresight.
Danny sat down next to Steve, glancing at his friend. "You ok?" He questioned, a concerned look on his face.
"Yeah. Thanks Danno," Steve replied as he watched the rest of his team take their seats. It was a somber day for them all, and Steve was thankful his team made it back in one piece. Things could have been far, far worse.
Chin, Kono and Lou piled in the row just behind him, and they sat down. Steve felt a soft, reassuring pat on his shoulder. The hand felt small, gentle. Kono. He reached back and gave her hand a squeeze- a thank you.
Joe passed in front of him and took a seat next to Danny, and Steve smiled at the image. All was forgiven, and he was glad the murky waters between the two men had cleared.
-H50-
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Fox waited until everyone was seated, and he rose from his seat to the left of podium. He walked over, movements precise. Respectful. He glanced at the flag-draped casket to his right. During a full, formal ceremony, the casket would've been brought in now via hearse; but Tac had never been one for fanfare. The young man did his job and did it well. He never sought out accolades nor a pat on the back. So Fox respected his man's wishes, and chose to honour him with a smaller, more personal ceremony with only close friends, servicemen, and family in attendance.
He knew Shawn had been adamant about being a part of the honour guard, but with the injury to his Sergeant's leg, carrying the casket would've been a bad idea. So he'd suggested a compromise. Brick would be part of the flag folding.
Fox took a breath, and his icy blue-eyed gaze wandered across the small group before him. As the highest ranking officer present, and Tac's CO, he would conduct the service. It was both an honour and a privilege.
"Let me begin by thanking every one of you for joining me in honouring Mike Conlan, affectionately known by his peers as Tac," Brad began. "Bright, loyal, and determined are some of the words that merely scratch the surface of Tac's character. He joined me and my team five years ago, wanting to expand his horizons and make a difference in the fight against terror. If you wanted technobabble decrypted; needed the best intel for the job; it was Tac we all looked towards."
He cleared his throat, allowing himself a brief moment to keep his composure. He needed to remain the pillar of strength for the group in front of him.
"None of us wanted to see a day like this come, but know that Tac gave his life in service to his country at home and abroad, and in doing so he saved countless lives. Some directly, and some indirectly. All of us here were touched in one way or another by Tac, and his memory will live on in us, and in the good he brought to terror stricken lands. It was an honour and a privilege to have served with him."
Fox looked to Brick, and the three other men that were seated nearby. He nodded.
Brick rose, as did the other three, and led them to the casket. Each man stood at a corner, and they reached out, grasping the American flag and pulling it taut, holding it just above the casket.
Fox stood at attention, arm rising in salute as he prepared for the riflemen firing party and the playing of taps. A rustle of fabric accompanied the standing of those in attendance, and each man and woman in uniform joined him in salute. Tac would be missed, and as his eyes wandered across the gathering before him, he prayed he would not be returning here any time soon.
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Although Steve wished he could stand, he knew in his current state the best choice for him was to remain seated. He raised his hand in salute. A young man who he'd only known for a short time, Tac was one who'd displayed the very thing men of his character possessed. Duty, honour and selflessness.
Steve was here today because of what Tac did. And he would be forever grateful.
The firing of the rifles and the playing of taps once again reminded Steve of the parallels to Freddie's death. Here he was, again the lone survivor of a mission gone wrong.
No, scratch that. He wasn't the lone survivor this time, was he? In the end, his team and Joe had also made it out alive. Tac's sacrifice had not only given Steve a chance to live, but it was quite possible that Joe may never have been found if not for the chain reaction of events that followed their helo crash.
As the playing of taps ended, Steve watched Brick and the other men carefully and respectfully finish folding the flag.
Fox ended the salute and approached Brick, who handed off the folded flag. Steve lowered his arm, and heard the rustle of everyone else taking their seats. He could feel his partner's gaze on him, feel the concern that he knew he'd find in the cool blue eyes if he allowed his own gaze to shift.
Steve somberly watched Fox present the flag to Tac's family. Heard the Captain speak the familiar words of 'On behalf of the President of the United States, the United States Army, and a grateful nation, please accept this flag as a symbol of our appreciation for your loved one's honourable service.'
Steve cleared his throat to keep his emotions in check. Freddie. Tac. Both gone far too soon; both saving Steve's life; both able to make it home. It was a small victory amidst the vortex of tragedy.
-H50-
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Danny stood patiently throughout the service, listened to Fox's words of affection and gratitude, and when the flag was presented to Tac's family he glanced over at his partner. Steve looked to be sitting as rigid and at attention as his recovering body would allow. Danny could read his friend's emotions that were buried beneath those intense blue eyes. He'd been schooled in McGarrett face reading, and what was once a solid brick wall of buried feelings, was now a picture of information. He'd just needed the right lenses to look through.
He saw the casket being lowered into the ground, and he swallowed thickly. Had they not been fortunate enough to find Steve in time, this whole picture would have been very different. One stolen glance at Chin, Kono and Lou told him they had similar thoughts on their minds, and Danny hoped that with this chapter of their story closed, they could all finish healing and move on with their lives.
Himself included.
He'd been so worried and bent out of shape in Afghanistan that he'd been too stubborn to see the bigger picture, and if he were being honest with himself, forgiving Joe back in Kandahar was one of the last pieces of his own puzzle of recovery.
As the service came to a close, he laid a comforting hand on Steve's shoulder. His own injuries from the battle with Afzal in Samir's home had slowly become less of a constant throb. The joint was stiff, and he hoped to get his shoulder more fluid with some PT. He made a mental note to join Steve at his next session. Overall he was happy at this point not to need a sling anymore. Damn thing had been getting in the way in the kitchen.
"You ok, babe?" he asked Steve once he'd sat back down, the ceremony complete.
"Yeah, I'm good, Danny," Steve replied after a moment's thought.
"That was a beautiful ceremony that Fox held for Tac, boss," Kono offered with a sad smile.
Danny was glad to see Kono back on her feet emotionally, and no longer drowning in the pool of guilt she'd fallen into.
"Yeah, Kono. It was. I am happy Tac made it home," Steve added. "He deserved at least that much."
"Well ladies and gents," Joe started as he addressed the team. "I think it's time to move on to the social festivities Brad had planned at the nearby mess. Everyone is invited of course. Not sure if he had a chance to mention it to you when you arrived. I see Brick already leading the charge. Man must be hungry. You coming?"
Danny looked at Steve, gauging his partner's energy level as his eyes roamed his face for signs of fatigue. Although his friend was good at hiding his true physical state of exhaustion, he likened it to playing poker with a master. One needed to seek out and learn the subtle tells. Even though Steve looked a little tired, he had a feeling his friend had enough gas left in the tank to handle some social time. Minus the alcohol. He wasn't wrong.
"If everyone else here is good with it, I'd like to have a chance to wind down and share stories," Steve said, voice subtly hopeful. "Danno?"
As much as Danny wanted Steve to rest, how could he say no? It's not like they were on a case and Steve would be jumping off buildings or running an obstacle course. To be honest some relaxed downtime with their new friends might do them all some good. Brad and Shawn were good people, and after all they've gone through together, Danny felt a deeper connection to the two men.
He better understood now how Steve forged so many close bonds with those he'd served with.
"Sure, I'm in," Danny replied. "Couldn't hurt, right?" He pointed at Steve, waggling a finger. "You know drinking is out, right?"
"Yes, mom. I get it. No drinking. Read you loud and clear," Steve jabbed.
"Count me in then, bossman," Kono tossed out with a dimpled smile.
"You won't get any arguments from me, brah," Chin voiced. "Lou?"
"Well you know I'd never look the prospect of a free beer in the mouth. Literally in this case," Lou said with a grin. "And since you're nearly like the designated driver, you're buying, right McGarrett?"
"Are you kidding? His wallet hibernates longer than a bear in winter. Rumpelstiltskin has had more natural light exposure," Danny quipped, garnering a look from his partner.
"Very funny," Steve snorted. He turned serious. "Let's go pay our final respects to Tac's family before we leave, and then we'll talk to Brick and find out what the details are."
"Don't you worry about that, son. I've got all the details. Go on. I'll meet you all over by the vehicles," Joe offered with a final squeeze on Steve's shoulder, and he turned to head back to the roadway.
"Come on guys," Steve said. "Let's go."
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That evening, Steve lay awake in bed, blue eyes staring up at a room-darkened ceiling. Fox had arranged hotel rooms for Steve and his team. The Captain had done far more for them then he'd needed to, and despite Steve's attempts to offer a way to repay him, Brad had politely declined.
Steve couldn't sleep. Whether it was the fact his mind couldn't power down, or because his body was not-too-kindly reminding him that it had not fully recovered, he didn't know.
Either way, he decided that counting sheep wasn't going to do the trick, so he allowed the darkness in the room to envelop him, and his mind to reflect.
He'd managed to make it out alive from another life-threatening situation, but not without his body taking a beating. He remembered not so long ago Lou telling him he was indestructible. Was he? Sure he'd come out of several dangerous situations with his life intact. Truth be told he felt he was more like a cat with nine lives, and it was only a matter of time before he'd used his allotment.
Maybe not the next time, or the time after that. He played Russian roulette on a routine basis, and had so far dodged every bullet.
All Danny's talk of retirement and the restaurant- he couldn't really see himself doing anything other than what he was doing now. It's what he'd done all his life, to the point where it was in his DNA. It's all he knew. And really he didn't have anywhere else to be.
A soft knock on the door interrupted his musings. Frowning, he glanced over at the clock next to the bed, the dull red LEDs reading an early 2AM. The knock came again, an unhurried, gently tap as though the owner somehow knew the room's occupant would be awake to hear it. Or perhaps it was so not to wake anyone else?
Curious, Steve stiffly sat up, and switched on the night stand's lamp. He slowly moved his legs so his feet were on the soft carpeted floor. He took a deep breath as he grabbed his crutches and carefully made his way to the door.
The knocking had stopped, yet Steve's sixth send told him the person was still in the hallway waiting. He peered out the peep hole to see the unusually un-coiffed blond hair of Danny. He cracked the door open.
"Danny? Something wrong?"
Danny stared as though he'd forgotten his reason for showing up, hand running absentmindedly through his hair, messing the long locks up further. "Uh, no. No. I couldn't get some any shuteye, and I figured you'd be having the same issue, so….," he rambled.
"Danny. Danny," Steve jumped in to slow the blond down. "It's fine. I wasn't sleeping either."
"Oh, ok. Um good," Danny replied. "I mean um not good that you're not sleeping, but uh…." He glanced around the empty hallway. "Up for some company?" He blurted.
Steve looked behind him and shrugged. It's not like he had been sleeping, and perhaps some company and chatting might be just what he needed. "Why not. I think there's some decaf coffee by the machine on that table there."
He opened the door wider to allow Danny to pass by, and it was then Steve knew he was right where he needed to be. Doing what he was doing, and being surrounded by those closest to him. His ohana.
He smiled.
TBC
