AN: Very different from what I normally do.
Day 29 - Theme - "Evil is impotent and has no power but that which we let it extort from us." - Ayn Rand
The Value of Pain
It was the worst day of the year. For most people, it was simply another day. It was not a solstice or an equinox. There was nothing in the calendar that marked the day as any different from any other day. This year, it was just a Thursday.
Five men knew what the day was. They remembered the macabre holiday from the Dark Kingdom, though Mamoru had only been subjected to the festivities once. That was how they knew where the day fell on Gregorian calendar.
The women had only learned of the day in the past couple of years. Mamoru had managed to block the memory and only remembered when the Shitennou returned to him. Even then, the day did not affect him the same way it affected his men.
Minako had hoped that this year would be different. They were married now, and she had hoped that would be enough to change how he commemorated it. She had cleared her schedule so that they could do whatever he wanted. It was hard for her to not feel personally rejected when what he wanted to do was to spend the day alone, sitting in the darkness, punishing himself.
Makoto knew that Neph would need time away from her. She did not like it, but she accepted it. She let him sleep through the daylight hours, disturbing him just to bring him food, knowing that he might not – probably would not – touch it. When the sun went down, she had dinner for him and then gave him the space to go talk to the stars, hoping that they could provide the comfort that she could not.
Rei understood the need for occasional solitude. She understood that there were things that could not be shared. She knew that she could not fully understand what it had meant to be enthralled to Beryl and to Chaos. Even when Galaxia had stolen their star seeds and their bodies had been used as puppets, it was not them. The Shitennou could not make the same claim. So she left the temple, finding something else to do, having let Jade know that should he needed her she would be available.
Ami did not fully know what to expect. She had still been avoiding Zoi this time last year. She had assumed from talking to the other girls, that she might should make other plans, give him the space that he would need. So she was surprised when he asked her to stay over the night before. She was more surprised when she woke up to find Zoi holding tightly to her. He did not talk about it through the whole day, but she had never seen him this clingy, but she was willing to do what it took to get him through the day.
Kunz knew that Minako was hurting, and he had tried to find the energy to let her help him through the day. However, when he looked at her he saw the wound in her gut from his sword, felt the tightening of her chain around his throat as she used the last of her energy to kill her murderer. He had chocked out an apology and retreated. Tears did not run down his cheeks, but he cried silently, trying to make penance crimes for which everyone else had forgiven him, for sins he had accepted forgiveness regarding, but which he could not forget.
Neph had accepted that he was forgiven. He knew the level of responsibility he had for what he had done, for how he had been used. He had learned how to forgive himself. The problem was that he was not entirely sure that he could trust himself. He was afraid that he was still susceptible. So he slept through the day, when the stars would be more difficult to ear, not wanting to face the day. Then when the sun set and the stars came out, he went to the roof, needing the reassurance that the past would not repeat itself.
Jade wandered around the grounds of the temple. He did not speak, but he meandered aimlessly, absorbing the promise that the temple represented, the spiritual wholeness. He watched the wind play with the branches of the leafless trees. He offered prayers for forgiveness, for the souls of his of victims to find peace, for thankfulness that he and his comrades had received a second chance. When Rei returned that night, he allowed her to gather him into his arms, to accept this gesture of assurance that he was forgiven, that he would always carry the past, but that it would not control him.
Zoi needed Ami's presence. He needed to know that she could forgive him, that she could wake up beside in the morning without a moment of panic. He needed to be assured that she could see him at his worst, his moment of deepest pain, his neediest, and that she would be there for him. Everyone thought that Ami was the one who struggled with insecurities, but there were times that he did too. He had played the piano for her, relaxed as she ran her fingers through his hair. He had accepted the surprising warmth from the Senshi of Ice. As he held her that night, as they fell asleep, he knew that he would be all right, that they would be all right.
It was the worst day of the year. It marked the day that the Moon Kingdom and the Silver Alliance had fallen to Beryl. For those who had been instrumental in its destruction, it was a day of darkness, a day to remember in order to protect the future. It was on this day once a year that four men once again strengthened their resolve that evil would never again have power over them.
