Title: Of Finding Innocence

Disclaimer: The real writers aren't rushing to get to a percussion recital.

Summary: Kate Beckett met Richard Castle once, long ago, at a book signing. What if things had gone differently that day? Castle, but with a large, large twist.


Chapter 29:

Kate stared at her reflection in the full-length mirror of their closet. She wore a pair of dress slacks and a blue, three-quarter length cotton shirt, covered by her leather jacket. Her hair was pinned up in a stylish braid along the back of her head and she was wearing a light coat of make-up. She turned side to side in the dim light streaming through the window and scowled at her reflection. She looked intimidating, and the three-inch black pumps certainly gave her an extra edge.

She'd done a test the other week and found that she could be just as agile in the heels. Rick kept grumbling about her breaking an ankle, but she wanted to wear them, even if they were slightly impractical. They made her feel powerful, tall. She turned around again and let out a slow breath. She looked good. She felt good. She'd be just fine.

"You look incredible," Rick murmured from the bed, causing Kate to spin around.

She met his eyes where he was propped up in bed, his hair mussed and cheeks rough with morning stubble. "Hey," she said quietly. "I hoped you'd sleep through. The alarm didn't wake you."

"And miss your first morning?" he replied, rolling his tired eyes. "How you feelin'?"

"Nauseous," she admitted, coming to sit down at his hip, pulling one leg up onto the bed and crossing her other over her ankle.

"You're going to be great," he assured her, leaning forward to give her a chaste kiss. "You're going to kick ass, scare the crap out of some suspects, and then come home and take a long bath."

Kate smiled and squeezed the hand he'd placed on her knee. "Thanks."

"Do you want breakfast, or are you jetting out and grabbing something on the way?"

"I honestly don't think I could eat right now. But I could go for coffee," she replied, shaking her head as he frowned at her. Yes, it was unhealthy, but coffee calmed her stomach. It did. And she'd make sure to eat the power bar in her bag when she did get hungry.

"I'll do it, but I don't approve," he grumbled, watching as she stood up.

Kate laughed. "I promise not to pass my bad eating habits on to Alexis, happy?"

His frown deepened as he joined her. "While I appreciate that, it's you I'm worried about. Alexis isn't old enough to eat nothing for breakfast."

Together they left the room and headed for the kitchen, one dressed for the day, and the other in a tee shirt and Donald Duck pajama pants. They made a pit stop at the safe and Rick watched as Kate holstered her gun and clipped her new badge to her belt.

"That's so cool," he said quietly.

She met his eyes. "I'm glad it's still cool a year and a half later."

"Hey, you're a Detective now. It's a new level of cool," he grinned, guiding her out of the room with a hand on the small of her back.

Kate went to start the coffee maker but Rick steered her over to one of the island stools, glared at her, and then turned and began making her coffee. She indulged him, because she knew that he wanted to help. Hell, if she let him, he'd make her a four course breakfast and hold her hand all the way to the Precinct, much in the same way that he'd probably taken Alexis to her first day of school.

Kate turned as the girl in question padded down the stairs, rubbing her eyes. "Hi, Sweetie," Kate greeted as Alexis walked up to her, yawning and running a hand through her messy bed head. "Why are you up? You don't have to be at school for another three hours."

Alexis shrugged and snuggled into Kate's side, wrapping an arm around her stomach while Kate trailed her fingers gently through the girl's hair. "Woke up," Alexis mumbled. "And I wanted to see…see you," she finished on a long yawn.

Kate smiled. "Well, I'm glad to see you too, munchkin."

"Morning, Lex," Rick added as he poured two sweet-and-lows into a travel mug. "I don't have any specialty creamer," he frowned, opening the refrigerator. "Sorry."

Kate laughed. "Rick, compared to what we've got at the Precinct, this will be fabulous. Thank you."

"You're not eating breakfast?" Alexis asked, tilting her head up to look at Kate.

Kate looked from the tired daughter to the father and pursed her lips as Rick grinned. "Your dad was just about to cut up an apple for me, Alexis. We have muffins at the Precinct."

Alexis nodded into her stomach and Rick shook his head, reaching into the fridge to procure the aforementioned apple. "What kind of muffins, Kate?" he asked as he sliced the fruit. "Cranberry? Blueberry?"

"Cherry," she replied easily. She could beat him at this game. "Specialty muffins. Karpowski's dad's brother owns a bakery."

"Huh," Rick offered, passing the plate with the apple over as the coffee maker beeped. "Why haven't we been there before?"

"Because we like the place down the street," Kate replied.

"I like the place down the street," Alexis added, her voice muffled in Kate's jacket. "Donna knows my name and gives me extra marshmallows in my hot cocoa."

Rick sighed and tossed his hands up as he turned to pour Kate her coffee. Kate just smiled and handed Alexis a slice. Rick passed the travel mug over to Kate and then leaned against the edge of the counter and took a slice of her apple as well. They munched together in silence, in a strange little morning ritual that Kate found she would love to continue. She took a sip of her coffee and glanced at the clock on the stove.

"Okay, boy and girl, I have to go," she said quietly, giving Alexis a squeeze before she gently dislodged her and stood, running nimble fingers down her front and over her hair to straighten herself out.

Rick walked around the counter and handed her the travel mug, snaking his other arm around her waist to pull her into his chest for a quick kiss. "Knock 'em dead, Detective," he said as they pulled apart.

Kate smiled and kissed his cheek before stepping away and taking the hand Alexis held out. Together, they walked to the door and Kate grabbed her leather gloves from the bowl on the bureau, pocketing her keys.

"Okay, little miss. I'll see you tonight," she said, leaning down to kiss Alexis' forehead.

"Kate?" Alexis prompted quietly as Kate went to open the door.

"Yes?"

"Kick some butt."

Kate grinned and nodded. "Will do. You kick some third grade butt."

"Yes Ma'am," Alexis saluted before they giggled together.

"Okay, I really have to go. Love you. See you tonight. See you tonight, Rick," she added, glancing up at her boyfriend, who was leaning against the wall, watching the pair of them with a soft smile.

"See you tonight," he replied while Alexis got one last hug in. "And kick some ass," he mouthed, making Kate laugh.

She gave him a smile and gently left the apartment, watching Alexis' face disappear as she closed the door. So that was what it felt like to have a send off for your first day at a new job. When she'd started as a beat cop, she'd stumbled around her apartment, exhausted by the early morning. She'd been so anxious that she couldn't eat anything all day, and nearly passed out from dehydration as she did paperwork, because all she'd put into her system was black coffee. This morning, however, left her pleasantly warm, filled, comfortable and loved.

It was a strange feeling, and she got into her car in the garage, smiling. She did a mental check to make sure she had everything, and then, bolstered by the quiet confidence of her tired family, she gave herself a pep talk that sounded eerily like the one Rick had given her that morning. Their little powwow even got her through the brief moment of sadness she felt as she stepped into the elevator and her necklace bounced against her chest. Her mother may never get the justice she was on her way up to the bullpen to chase.

But, the doors opened before she could dwell on the matter, and Kate was suddenly a Detective. Though, sudden wasn't quite the right word. The bullpen was empty, save for a few tired night shifters and Ryan, who was leaning back in his chair on the opposite end of the room.

"Morning, Detective Beckett," he greeted as she automatically began making her way toward their cluster of desks, before stopping and standing in the middle of the empty space. "Desk's over there," he smiled, pointing to Traikers' old desk on the opposite end of the room from the uniforms' corner.

Kate nodded slowly and turned around, heading toward her desk with purpose. She supposed she could use the quiet time to set herself up. However, upon closer inspection, it seemed that wouldn't be necessary. Her desk looked like a carbon copy of her old one, but there it sat, bare and empty across from Esposito's.

"What did you guys do?" she asked, trying to hide the touched smile that threatened to break across her face.

"What?" Ryan asked innocently. "Nice picture cube, by the way."

"Thanks," she replied. "Christmas present from Alexis."

"She's a good kid."

Kate nodded and sat down in her chair, fiddling with the height until it was just perfect. She placed her phone next to her mouse pad and booted up her computer while she watched Ryan toss a ball up in the air a few times. "Ryan," she prompted after a few minutes.

"Hmm?"

"Why are you here so early?" she asked, curiosity finally getting the best of her. But wasn't that her job now, to be insanely curious about everything?

"There's a paper in your top drawer," he replied casually. "I thought you might like to look at it."

"Okay?" Kate opened the drawer and sighed as she caught sight of the society page of the Monday Ledger. "Am I in here?" she asked, apathetically slapping the newspaper onto the top of her desk.

"Spotted wedding dress shopping," Ryan replied.

"Wearing it, buying it, or carrying it?" she asked tonelessly. Well shit.

"Buying it. They're quick to say that you didn't carry it out, so it's just a rumor. It's actually pretty tame and circumstantial for the Ledger."

"Great," Kate sighed, slowly unfolding the paper and staring at the picture of herself at the Nordstrom counter. In retrospect, it had been incredibly stupid for her to carry the dress out of the changing room. Had they even looked around the room when she'd bought it? She couldn't remember.

"Thought you'd want to know before the cavalry arrived," he offered. "S'it a nice dress?"

"You came in here this early so that I could see this?" Kate asked quietly, though her voice still carried around the empty room.

Ryan just gave her a smile. "Can't have people making fun of the boss on her first day."

Kate bit her lip. Ryan might just be her favorite. "I still can't make Karpowski let you drive," she replied. But the smile he turned her way told her that he knew just how much this gesture meant to her. "I should call Rick, get Paula on top of this."

"Just one question," Ryan said as she reached for her phone.

"Shoot."

"Is it a good dress?"

Over the past three months, Kate and Ryan had developed a strange relationship. They weren't openly affectionate, and they sniped at each other just like Kate and Esposito did, but there was something about Ryan that was gentler than Espo. Esposito would beat up a boyfriend, no problem, no questions asked. But Ryan would probably bring her chocolates afterward.

"Ryan, it's the most amazing thing I've ever seen," she said honestly, unable to keep the smile off her face.

"But no ring?" he asked, smiling back.

"Take that up with Rick."

"Bull," Ryan laughed, causing Kate to crack and laugh along with him.

"Fine. We're…you know, most brides do the dress before the engagement," she finished lamely.

"Of course, Boss," Ryan nodded knowingly.

"Get to work, Officer Ryan," Kate replied, watching as he laughed and stood up, headed for the break room. "Yeah, you better run," she called after him. She shook her head and stared at her cell. They wouldn't be leaving for school for another hour, so Kate picked up the phone and hit speed dial one.

"Why Detective Beckett," Rick greeted. "Are you calling to seek my counsel?"

She laughed at the abrupt response. "No, conceited. I'm actually calling you so you can seek Paula's counsel."

"Shit, really?" he asked quietly. "What's up?"

It hurt a little, to know that her wedding dress, the perfect wedding dress, had ended up in the paper, albeit in a box, before Rick had even seen it in person. "Well, apparently, super detective that I am, I didn't notice a camera in the bridal section yesterday."

"In the dress?" he asked quickly.

"No, just buying it. It's not bad—doesn't even say we're engaged. But it's there, and it's a rumor starter."

"Anyone at work razzing you? I'll kill those guys at the Ledger. Paula will take care of it, don't worry."

Kate smiled. "No one's razzing me. Ryan showed up early so I could have some warning."

"I'm buying him a beer. How 'bout a whole pub?"

Kate laughed. "Did you sleep at all last night?" she asked, amused by his rapid-fire responses. She twirled a pen around the empty space on her desk as a few officers stepped out of the elevator.

"Not a lot, actually," he replied.

"Really?" That was odd.

"Any cases yet?" he asked. Kate frowned. What was wrong with him?

"Not yet. No one's come in yet, so I assume that there haven't been any calls. Are you okay?"

"I'm just fine, Kate," he replied, a smile in his voice. "Consider it my own way of helping you out."

"Excuse me?"

"I was nervous all night so you could sleep," he replied easily. "But, there is now a little girl who needs to get to school, and you should go about…whatever it is you do before you detect stuff. And I'll call Paula as soon as I drop Alexis off."

"Oh, okay," Kate stammered. "I…thanks."

"Hey, the only people who should get to enjoy the fact that you bought a wedding dress are you and me, and Lanie and Madison, because they were there. And Ryan…very few people," he finished, laughing at himself while she smiled along. "Have a great first day, and detect the hell out of whatever the hell you're detecting."

"Thank you for the confidence, hot stuff," she chuckled. "Love you," she added quietly, because it took quite a man to call Paula Haas before nine in the morning.

"Love you too," he said softly. "Now get to work."

They hung up and Kate stuffed the newspaper back into her desk. Rick would make it go away, and she'd have a normal day of being a detective. She was a detective, sitting at her detective desk. God, she sounded like a child. What was she doing before the paper? Logging onto her computer—she should get that done.

By the time Jacobs, Grayson and Hall had come in, Kate had reorganized her paperwork, set up all of the necessary accounts on her new computer and eaten that power bar. There was very little by way of introductions. Grayson told her that she'd be riding with him most of the time. Hall said he liked the picture of Alexis. Jacobs didn't frown or snarl at her. He even passed her a cup of coffee around noon.

It felt like any normal day at work, with the exception of the location of her desk. It felt normal, at least, until they got a call at one.

"Alright, Beckett, let's roll," Grayson smiled.

They fell into step behind Hall and Jacobs and the four of them got into the elevator. They were all very tall. Grayson was about 6'2'' with black hair and a muscular build. He was a good guy, with a good heart, and Kate didn't mind riding with him. He hadn't proclaimed them partners, and that suited Kate just fine. As far as she knew, the team didn't do partners as much as independent work; they were all better thinking separately and then conferring. And Kate—Kate preferred to work alone.

Jacobs and Hall were talking sports behind them. Each was over six feet tall, one with short, graying hair, and the other with longer blond hair that constantly fell into his eyes. But Kate wasn't one to judge about hair. Maybe she should get hers cut, to fit in with this group a bit more. She'd already stick out as the only woman, not that it was a problem. Women were just as good at everything as men were, and she didn't get the feeling that this team cared what gender she was.

As their evening wound to a close, Kate knew that her team not only worked on an equal level, but that they appreciated her femininity. Their only witness for the double murder/suicide they'd found at the back of a pawnshop had been a small child. The little girl stood in a corner and wouldn't come out for anyone but Kate, who had coaxed a few answers out of the frightened thing before gently handing her to her hysterical mother. That data, combined with the security cameras at the front of the shop had closed their case.

Lanie confirmed the contusions on the fingers of both shooters, along with the angle of the entry wounds. Four teenagers, forbidden from seeing each other, had taken a very Romeo and Juliet look at the world, and took their own lives. The girls shot the boys and then themselves, leaving a heap of bodies. The little girl, Lacie, had just happened to run into the back room of the store while her mother was at the front. The shopkeeper thought that boxes had fallen over, in place of shots, and had been so caught up speaking with the mother than neither realized the girl was gone until the shop assistant found the scene. Then the mother had run around frantically, refusing to look at the four bodies, and subsequently leaving her frightened child alone. It had left Kate feeling winded by the entire process. She hadn't expected to close her first case in a matter of hours.

At seven, the four detectives sat at their desks, arranged in a square, and stared at each other.

"Well, that's one way to break in a new member," Jacobs offered after a long silence. "Good work, Beckett."

"Thank you, Detective," she replied. Were pigs flying in hell? Jacobs had just complimented her. She had to fight a satisfied smile. They might just have a good relationship yet.

Grayson stretched his arms back over his chair. "And an easy close. It's been a good day."

"Should we head out; rest up for the next one?" Hall asked them as each one finished his or her paperwork.

"Damn straight," Jacobs replied. "See if we can't get something a bit more exciting for Beckett tomorrow. My first day? We had a triple homicide that turned into a serial."

"Oh yeah? My first day, we had a girl trussed up in a fishing net, thrown overboard by a bunch of kids who'd run her over," Hall offered.

The other three stared at him. "Bluff," Grayson laughed. "You stole that from I Know What You Did Last Summer."

"I don't remember anything like that," Jacobs added. "And I trained you."

Hall glared at them and then turned to look at Kate. "I'd hoped they'd pick on you," he said grumpily. "But you saved the day."

"Kids are easy," Kate shrugged.

"I see you've got one," Jacobs replied. "I didn't know you had a daughter before this," he continued.

"Some people do have private lives, Jacobs," Grayson interjected. "Just because you like to dig into ours to make sure we're not unhinged doesn't mean everyone broadcasts their own stuff."

Kate watched the interchange with interest. She'd always assumed that Jacobs was the head of the team, as feared by his detectives as he was by his uniforms. Apparently, he was just the interface. It seemed like Hall and Grayson were just as much a part of the decision making process as he was.

"It's okay," Kate laughed while the two men glared at each other. "Alexis is eight."

"Is she yours?" Hall asked with a small smile. "Come on, we want to know," he added as Grayson glared at him.

"She's my boyfriend's, actually," Kate offered. She wanted to like these guys, and fit in. Alexis was much more a part of her life than she had been when Kate had begrudgingly told Esposito about her nearly a year ago. And if they knew she had a kid, she'd get more leeway if anything ever came up. It would be very awkward to cut and run for a kid no one knew about.

"That Richard Castle guy, right?" Grayson asked, apparently too curious to keep up his protective act.

"Yes," Kate replied.

"Will we have to deal with that?" Jacobs asked. "You're in the paper every so often."

"Wedding dress shopping," Hall added with a grin. "When's the big day?"

Damn. She'd hoped they just hadn't seen the paper. But she was a detective, and a woman, and she could handle this. "Don't believe everything you read in the papers, Detective," she replied evenly, watching his face fall while the other two laughed. "And I suppose so, Detective Jacobs," she added, turning back to the graying man. "But it doesn't happen often, and I know that after this, Rick will have his agent on top of keeping me out of the papers for a while."

"That can't be good for his publicity," Hall said while Jacobs nodded thoughtfully.

"Depends," Kate shrugged. "The 'are they, or aren't they' angle gets more readers than you'd think."

"And are they?" Grayson asked, his green eyes twinkling.

"I thought you were a detective," she shot back, reaching up to rub her face with her bare left hand while she filled out the last line of her paperwork.

"I'm a detective," Grayson replied blankly. "But I'm not a mind reader."

"Oh, honestly, Gray," Jacobs sighed. "She's not wearing a ring, and I'm too tired for this. Go home, the three of you."

"Oh," Grayson said embarrassedly while Kate stood and shrugged back into her leather jacket, smirking.

"Have a good night, guys," she offered as she grabbed her keys and set off toward the elevators, waving to Ryan and Esposito, who were grinning at her, having listened in on the whole conversation.

She liked her new team. They were fun, in a different way, and it felt like they were off to a good start. But it wasn't the same as sitting around with Rysposito and Karpowski, talking theory and checking to see if they were right. Now she was at the head of the department, running the show. It was great, and she did feel accomplished, but perhaps it wasn't as much fun. She'd have to have the boys over for poker or something. Though, weren't they having a Madden night on Wednesday anyway?

Kate made her way home in sort of daze. She hadn't expected to close her first case in a matter of hours, much less to be the one to get conclusive evidence. Montgomery had even congratulated her on a first case well closed. She pulled into the garage at the loft and tiredly made her way upstairs. The murder hadn't been difficult, but it had been disturbing. Four young people had taken their lives, just because their parents said they couldn't date each other. They were only a year away from graduating as well. It was senseless. And that poor little girl that had seen it. Kate shook her head. Murder didn't make sense.

She opened the door to the loft and smiled as she heard the rush of small feet.

"You're home!" Alexis squealed, barreling into her as she closed the door.

"Hi, Lex," Kate smiled, dropping her keys into the bowl on the bureau as she hugged the girl with her free hand. "How are you?" she asked, guiding them away from the door and toward the kitchen, where Rick was putting the finishing touches on a very late dinner.

"I'm good," Alexis replied. "Go change so we can have dinner," she added.

"Hey," Rick offered as Alexis released her and scampered around to take the plates her father held out for her. "Good day?"

Kate nodded and simply walked around the counter to give him a kiss. "Tell you about it later. Dinner looks good."

"Thank you," he grinned, gently nudging her toward the office. "We're hungry."

"You didn't have to wait for me," she called as she walked into the office.

She heard both Castle protest and shook her head, quickly ridding herself of her gun and badge. She slipped out of her jacket and hung it up in the closet before shucking out of her work clothes and pulling on a pair of sweats and a tank top. She grabbed a light sweater and then took the pins out of her hair, letting it cascade down her back. She wanted to cut it, but she loved it long. She loved braiding it and playing with it, and she especially loved how Rick played with it whenever he could, just toying with it for no reason. She'd never enjoyed having men play with her hair, or toy with her fingers, or constantly touch her, but with Rick, she loved it. She loved that he just wanted to touch her, not arouse her, not toy with her—just touch her.

"Ka-ate," Alexis called exasperatedly.

Kate laughed and returned to the kitchen, where the two of them were already sitting at the table. Rick was laughing and Alexis was grinning as she tried to reach for her plate and her father moved it away.

"Let the child eat," Kate admonished, running a hand across his back as she sat down next to him and reached for her own fork. "Thank you for dinner," she added, eagerly popping a piece of penne into her mouth. He'd made pasta carbonara for them, and Kate hadn't realized just how hungry she was until she caught the scent. "You really didn't need to wait."

"But we like having dinner with you," Alexis told her around a mouthful.

"Manners," Rick admonished.

Alexis nodded and swallowed. "Sorry," she offered before taking another bite.

"I like having dinner with you guys too," Kate told her. "But I won't always get home so early, and I might forget to let your Dad know when I'm coming back."

"We'll figure it out," Rick interjected.

"Did you have a good first day?" Alexis asked a few minutes later.

"I did. We closed our case at five, and then it was just paperwork," Kate replied.

"You closed a case?" Rick grinned. "In one day?"

"It wasn't complicated," Kate shrugged, unwilling to give any more details with Alexis sitting across the table. "But yeah."

"That's awesome," he replied.

"I think so too," Alexis offered.

"Thank you," Kate smiled. "But enough about me. What did you do at school today?"

"We measured our bean plants and talked about the Revolutionary War," Alexis replied easily. "It wasn't really interesting, but it wasn't boring either."

"How tall is your bean plant?" Kate asked.

"Four inches," Alexis replied proudly. "It's the tallest in the class."

"Why's that?" Rick wondered.

"Cause I feed it and I talk to it. The plant book Grandpa Jim gave me told me that I should talk to it, and I do when we do the project."

"Grandpa Jim gave you a plant book?" Kate wondered aloud.

"You weren't here the last time he came over," Alexis giggled. "We went out to the park."

"Oh," Kate replied, a bit miffed. Did her father come over often when she wasn't around?

"He comes once a week," Rick told her. "Meant to mention it but forgot. He called earlier, actually. Wanted to know how your first day went, but he's got a meeting tonight."

"Right," Kate bobbed her head. When had her father developed a better relationship with Rick than he had with her?

"You're just not around as much," Rick added. "Don't sweat it. He'd like to have dinner this weekend though, if you've got time."

"I should have Saturday night off," Kate replied.

"Do you get Sunday off too?" Alexis piped up.

"I get the morning off. Then I'm on call for the rest of the afternoon."

"So you could potentially get the whole day off?" Rick asked.

She didn't want to say yes. Would it make her into Meredith if she promised the day and then had to beg off for work? How did it work now? "I…"

"Can we have brunch and then watch a movie, so if you have to leave, we can finish it later?" Alexis asked.

Kate looked across at her and smiled. Leave it to Alexis to save the day. "That sounds perfect, honey."

Alexis beamed back. "Cool."

Kate yawned and leaned back in her chair as she finished her meal. "Looks like someone's tired," Rick observed as he stood and took their plates.

"No, just…yeah," Kate finished on a small laugh. "Long day."

"Wanna watch some TV?" Alexis asked. "You can lie down."

"That sounds good, Alexis," Kate replied, standing stiffly and offering her hand to the little girl as she came around the table. "Do you want help with th…"

Rick's glare was answer enough and Kate allowed Alexis to pull her into the living room and down onto the couch. She lay down and smiled as Alexis cuddled in next to her, switching the TV over to a rerun of Friends, a show Alexis enjoyed because she liked Chandler's jokes.

"I'm glad you got to come home early," the little girl offered a few minutes later.

"Me too, Lex," Kate told her as she fiddled with a strand of the girl's long hair.

"Do you like your new job?"

"I do." She did. She wasn't quite used to it yet, and she knew she'd be getting her sea legs for a while, but she enjoyed it.

"I'm glad," Alexis said quietly.

"Thank you, munchkin," Kate smiled, leaning down to kiss the girl's forehead before she sank further into the couch, lulled by Alexis' warm body.

"There's no room for me on this couch," Rick complained as he joined them in the living room.

"Girls together," Alexis mumbled sleepily as they looked up at him.

"What she said," Kate added, smiling at her boyfriend, who just didn't seem to be able to look affronted.

He gave a put-upon sigh and settled down on the floor in front of them, leaning his head back so that he could look at Kate. "It's never boys together."

"We're not boys," Alexis said indignantly.

"That is a problem," Kate added, laughing.

"Maybe I need to have a boy, then," Rick murmured.

Everyone fell silent for a second. Kate stared at Rick and he stared back. They hadn't discussed children. They'd talked about marriage. They'd talked about money. But they hadn't talked kids. Alexis shifted next to her and Kate automatically cuddled the girl closer.

"Are you pregnant, Kate?" Alexis asked very quietly.

"No, Sweetie," Kate replied, giving Rick a look. He shouldn't have said that in front of his daughter. That just wasn't fair to any of them.

"Oh," Alexis offered.

Kate glanced down and found the little girl chewing on her lip. "What's wrong, Alexis?" She might kill Rick, who looked rather perturbed with himself. Good.

"I don't know if I want you to be or not," the little girl replied.

"What do you mean?" Rick asked, running his fingers through Kate's hair, whether to calm her or himself, Kate was unsure.

"I want a little brother or little sister," Alexis said slowly. "But…"

"But?" Kate asked gently. Oh, God, they were having this conversation? Why wasn't there space between these talks? They'd just had the Mommy talk. Was there no time for some relaxation in this family?

"But I want you all to myself," she whispered.

"Oh," Kate smiled and found the little girl's hand. "I'm all yours, honey. For a long time, I promise."

She glanced at Rick, realizing that she'd just made a decision without him. She hadn't meant to, but the words had fallen out. Honestly, she wasn't ready to have children. And when she met his eyes, she found him smiling softly. Perhaps he wasn't ready either.

"I was just kidding, Lexi," he added, caressing Kate's ear with his fingers. "We're not having a baby any time soon."

"Okay," she replied.

They were silent for a long moment, while Ross and Rachel had a screaming match. Kate glanced at Rick and he gave her an apologetic smile. "Sorry," he mouthed.

Kate was too tired to be angry, and too touched by Alexis' words to hold onto the argument for another time. "Don't do it again," she offered silently.

He nodded and leaned up to kiss her, careful not to jostle the little girl falling asleep against her chest. He pulled away and rested his head next to hers, looking down at his daughter.

"I'm glad you had a good day," he whispered.

Kate glanced at Alexis and found her asleep already, her stomach rising and falling in a steady rhythm beneath Kate's hand. "Thanks," she whispered back.

"Tough case?"

"Sad, but I got us the evidence to close it. By the way, never let Alexis wander off in a store."

Rick blinked at her. "Kind of part of parenting 101," he replied, confused.

Kate smiled and rubbed a hand over Alexis' stomach. "You'd think," she murmured.

He considered her for a moment, watching as she stared at Alexis. "Why don't I get her up to bed and you go hop in the tub? I'll come join you and you can tell me all about it, and then I can tell you about Paula."

Right, she'd forgotten about that. "Okay," she replied. Rick stood and then picked his daughter up, carrying her effortlessly toward the stairs.

Kate watched them go, smiling softly. Would he look that good carrying a small load, wrapped in blankets and wearing footie pajamas? No, not tonight. She needed sleep, and a ring, and the dress and—just not tonight. Slowly, she got off of the couch and wandered into their room and through to the bathroom. She started the bath and stripped down. She went about using the toilet and brushing her teeth, even though it was only nine.

She was tired, and that conversation with Alexis had just sapped everything out of her. It wasn't that she was averse to the idea, per se. But she wasn't sure when she'd be ready to have children. She certainly wasn't ready now, and even in a few years it would interfere with her career. Though, to be fair, she'd get leave and Rick would stay home with the kids. Oh, God, they'd have children, plural.

Kate sank into the bath, trying to wrap her head around the idea of Alexis having a sibling. A child would grow in her body and she'd have to push it out. She was too tired, too confused, and too young to think about this right now. So she pushed it from her head in lieu of enjoying the warm water and gentle lighting of the bathroom.

"Hey," Rick greeted as he came in and shut the door.

"Hi," she managed, insanely relaxed, now that she'd found it in herself not to freak out.

"You look comfy," he observed, kneeling down against the edge of the bath.

"I'd be more comfy if you were in here too," she replied, cracking an eye open to watch as his face lit up.

He stripped quickly and she scooted forward so he could slip in behind her. His arms snaked out to draw her back against his chest and she slumped against him, his strong chest far more comfortable than the porcelain edge of the tub. She leaned her head back against his shoulder and looked up at him.

"How was your day?" she asked, twining their fingers together on her stomach.

"Aside from the moment when I shoved my whole leg down my throat a few minutes ago? Good," he replied. "Sorry about that."

"We're not talking about it tonight," she declared.

He laughed. "Ah, good strategy. Then the day was good."

"I'm glad. Paula's got everything squared away?"

He nodded and leaned down to meet her lips in a brief kiss. "We're 'will they or won't they'-ing for a while."

"Fun," Kate offered. "Thank you for taking care of it."

"My pleasure," he smiled. "Now, tell me about your day. You closed the case?"

"Double murder/suicide," she explained. "Two sets of teenagers killed themselves because their parents didn't want them to date. They snuck into the warehouse of a pawnshop and the girls shot the guys before killing themselves."

"Yeesh," Rick groaned. "Messy?"

Kate shrugged. "No more than any other shooting. There was a little girl in the room, though."

"Oh." His hands tightened against her stomach. "That's why you don't want Alexis running off."

"Right. I had to coax her out of the corner and it was her confirmation of the shooting that let us close the case, as soon as Lanie's evidence verified it."

"And the mother?" he asked softly.

"Talking to the owner up front. Didn't even notice her daughter was gone, and they thought the shots were falling stock."

"Wow," he whistled. "So, you really closed the case."

Kate nodded shyly. It didn't seem like a big deal, but his smile was so proud. She'd never had someone to come home to after a case—someone who would be proud of her.

"That's awesome," he added, squeezing her against him. "Bet you knocked their socks off."

She smiled and turned to kiss his neck. "They're not so bad. Jacobs is gruff, but easy, and Grayson and Hall are kind of the grown-up version of Esposito and Ryan."

Rick laughed. "I bet they love you."

"They're more interested in my love life, at the moment, and my personal life, but yeah, I think we'll get along."

"Should I worry that you'll leave me for one of them? You know, since they'll see you more than I do most days?"

She glanced up at him. He didn't look serious. She hoped he wasn't serious. "I'm happy where I am," she replied softly, squeezing his hands. "I don't want to go home to work. I just want to go home at the end of the day."

He grinned. "Well, welcome home, Detective."

"Just Kate," she whispered, closing her eyes and breathing him in.

"Welcome home, Kate," he amended, leaning his head against hers. "Most kick ass girlfriend ever."

When she'd come home from her first day as a beat cop, she'd collapsed on her sofa and passed out, hungry, tired and filthy. Tonight, she was fed, comfortable, and lounging in a bath with her boyfriend while his lips fluttered over her face. She smiled and then laughed as he tickled her stomach before wrapping his ankles around hers and pulling her closer. So this was what it was like to come home after a long day first day.


Author's Note: So, this was kind of a day in the new life. I felt like Kate's first day deserved its own chapter, and I'm pretty happy with what it turned into. Let me know what you thought. There's much more coming up.

You guys are amazing, and I'm so glad that so many of you are enjoying this story. Welcome, too, to everyone who's just catching up. I've been getting a bunch of reviews from people who are making their way through the story, and I'm really excited for them to finish. It's an accomplishment. This story is LONG, and getting longer every time.

Okay, enough of my author's manifesto.

Emma