chapter 29: a case of the fall vintage

A season passed.

The Princess finally completed the accuracy course faster than her Master, and Tigress felt a spark of pride. The pride felt odd, foreign. Had she, on some level, been hoping her student would fail? That Shifu would finally see how inept she was? Tigress realized this as the panting, victorious Princess beamed up at her. The fennec frowned as a look of disgust crossed Tigress's face - she did not know that disgust was not for her student, but for herself.

"Are … are you not pleased, Master?" she asked, hurt and puzzled.

Tigress snapped to attention. "Very good, Princess. I'm … proud of you."

And she was.

The Princess grinned.

Tigress lifted her chin. "Try not to get a big head," she said imperiously. The Princess's face fell, and Tigress immediately regretted it.

"What I mean," she tried to say gently, "is that there is a lot more to kung fu than mere speed and accuracy. Without a mastery of chi your strikes may be quick and well-aimed, but they won't be powerful enough to defeat a house fly, much less an actual opponent."

"When can I begin to learn about chi, Master?"

"Not yet," Tigress said without thinking. "You're not ready."

"Oh." Her disappointment was obvious, but she bowed her head and saluted. "Then what shall we do next, Master?"

Tigress's mind was blank.

"We'll break early today," she said after a long pause. "You've earned an afternoon off, Princess."

She blinked. The look on the Princess's face made it clear that she did not want an afternoon off. She was on a roll and wanted to continue. Tigress knew that feeling well. When she was a child Shifu's pacing often drove her mad. Sometimes he wouldn't let her move on to the next step till she had not only mastered, but perfected the task she was on.

Tigress shrugged inwardly. If it was good enough for Shifu it was good enough for her.

"If you don't wish to take the afternoon off, you may come back after lunch and run the course again. I want you to complete it at that speed five hundred more times before we move on."

"Five hundred times!"

Tigress raised an eyebrow. "Five hundred times Master."

"I … yes, Master," she said, her shoulders slumping. "Five hundred times it is."

"Enjoy your lunch. You've done well," Tigress said, saluting and dismissing her.

"Thank you Master," she said, and slumped off. Tigress watched her go, trying not to let the niggling guilt get under her skin. Maybe you wouldn't feel so bad if you were making her run the course one hundred times out of necessity, not because you don't know what to do next.

She gave a brief huff and went up to the barracks for lunch.

ooo

Shifu usually met Habika every day at the training hall at lunch time, and they would walk back to the sangha together after his students had returned to the barracks. Today he saw Habika sitting on the steps next to Mantis, who was shaking his head and waving his claws in an emphatic "no."

"Are you kidding? She'd kill me. Really I'd be happy to teach you about chi, but if Tigress thought I was undermining her there'd be hell to pay. Sorry kiddo."

She nodded. "I figured as much. Thanks anyway Mantis."

"No problem." He saluted and hopped off to the barracks.

Shifu crept forward and put his hand on her shoulder, planting a kiss on her head. "What is it, little one?"

She sighed and told him of her troubles as they strolled back to the sangha hand in hand.

Shifu nodded. "I understand that it can be frustrating, but you must - we must - respect her choices," he said, brushing his hand longingly across her bottom. "You must trust in your Master, as … trying … as that can be."

"Balls," she whispered.

He chuckled. "Agreed. Now come along, we mustn't be late for our chaperones," he said, rolling his eyes as he pushed open the sangha door. Tigress allowed them to take meals alone together, but Jing and other palace workers began coincidentally milling about every day at lunch as well, always with some important issue of maintenance that just could not wait. Shifu would have sent them away but he was sure word would get back to Tigress. As much as her invasion into his personal life irked him, it also amused him, and he didn't want to set a bad example for Habika no matter how ardently he longed for her.

They sat at the table and were served. Habika wolfed down her lunch with a single-minded determination that Shifu found startling and hilarious at first. She used to complain about her sparse meals of tofu and vegetables with soy sauce but now she relished them. When he offered her a piece of thousand layer cake she nearly spat it out, remarking on its cloying sweetness.

As the months passed her body grew firmer and stronger before his eyes, her hips and bottom losing a bit of the lovely, sweet softness he adored. Her new sense of easy confidence was worth the sacrifice, however. She may not have seen it but he did. She stood up straight, walked without meandering. Her grip became solid and strong and her hands no longer shook. She truly took in her surroundings, as though sizing them up. Shifu recognized the look - Could I leap high enough to hit that? Could I jump from that height and land on my feet? The look of a new kung fu student with possibilities unfolding before her - like a young Tigress.

Habika burped. "Excuse me."

Shifu chuckled. "There's no need to shovel, little one."

"I'm so hungry," she replied. "Master Tigress says it's a good thing, though. Means I'm working hard."

Shifu nodded. Tigress had grown ever more quiet and preoccupied. He'd tried to offer her help and suggestions but she wanted none of it. She didn't even want him to observe Habika's lessons, though he did anyway from a distance and with the aid of his magnificent hearing. Tigress was as strict a disciplinarian as he'd expected. Habika was eager to please. The two seemed to work well together, but something was missing. There was a disconnect between them which he couldn't quite put his finger on. It bothered him, but Tigress made it clear he was not to interfere. The two would have to work it out on their own.

Habika finished her meal with a contented sigh. After a moment's pause she said "I should be getting back. She wants me to complete the course five hundred more times before we can move on."

Shifu was taken aback. "That seems a bit much."

Habika shok her head. "That's what I thought. But she knows what's best."

He opened his mouth to reply but thought better of it.

Habika smiled. "You're the picture of restraint, my warrior."

"I'm really trying," he said as Jing waddled in to clear the plates.

"Mm. I can tell."

When he rose from his chair to walk her to the door she stepped forward, threw her arms around his neck, and kissed him firmly. He heard Jing make a startled sound and shuffle back into the kitchen. Habika's lips parted his own, her aggression sending a lightning thrill down his body. When she drew away she gently bit his bottom lip, then left it with the softest of kisses.

"Oh, I miss you. So much. Goodbye my warrior," she said, squeezing his hand. She scurried over the hill and left him standing in the doorway with every cell in his body aflame, burning with months of desire he'd barely managed to keep at bay.

"Oh, little one. Oh, gods," he whispered, shuddering, "why in the world did you have to go and do that?"

ooo

Tigress and Viper sat in the kitchen watching the great mass of Po's back as he shifted along the counter, mixing and chopping. Tigress put her chin on her hand, eyelids fluttering. The smells of onion and garlic and chili and fresh crackling oil were so warm and seductive. Viper, coiled on the table in front of her, rested her scaled head on Tigress's forearm and sighed.

"What is it?" Tigress asked.

"Nothing," Viper muttered.

Tigress's ear twitched as she heard the familiar tapping of Crane's scaled feet turn the corner into the kitchen. "Smells good!" he said, sounding chipper. "What's the occasion?"

"Dinner at the sangha," Po said over his shoulder. "Habika invited Tigress, Tigress invited us, and somehow I'm the one that ends up cooking."

"You're the best cook," Tigress pointed out. "Better than Jing."

"Jing has no concept of mise en place, so she ends up overcooking everything," Po said matter-of-factly.

"Mis en … what?" Crane asked.

Po shook his head. "Nothing. Heh. Anyway you're invited."

Crane smirked. "I'd love to, but I've, uh … got a …thing. In the village."

Po raised an eyebrow. "A thing? What kind of thing?"

Crane shrugged and smiled. "Y'know…"

"A date?" Po asked.

"Might be…?"

"Nice!" Po said, tasting and nodding. "Good luck."

"Thanks. Have a good dinner, guys," Crane said, and went on his way.

"Oho, I wonder who Crane's mystery woman of mystery is," Po said, chuckling to himself as he tasted. "Needs more five spice."

Viper seemed to sink into the table, absolutely miserable. Tigress gently stroked the top of her head with the pads of her fingers, and the snake closed her eyes. A few years ago Tigress would have told her for the umpteenth time that she had to tell Crane how she felt, but she'd learned long ago it was a fruitless enterprise. When it started to interfere with their friendship Tigress dropped the subject completely, but having been a victim of unrequited love herself she could never lose sympathy for Viper no matter how fixable her problem seemed.

"Why so quiet?" Po asked.

"Just enjoying the ambiance," Tigress said. She wasn't particularly looking forward to the dinner. She leaned back, took a bottle of cooking wine off the shelf, uncorked it and took a swig.

"Lush," Viper said ruefully.

"Count on it," Tigress said, wiping her mouth. That afternoon she hadn't returned to the courtyard after lunch to meet the Princess, certain her student had taken the afternoon off as Tigress suggested. Around four thirty she was on the way to the steps down to the village when she saw the Princess charging through the course, huffing and panting. When she saw Tigress she looked up, her eyes flashing with irritation. Where the hell were you?

Tigress stopped in her tracks, flooding with shame. They stared at each other for a moment.

"I'm up to twenty eight," Habika said before Tigress could ask. "Master."

"Good work," Tigress replied.

Another long pause.

"How long have you been out here?" Tigress asked.

"Since a quarter to three."

"Oh. Good … good work. Good determination."

She saluted. "Thank you, Master."

Tigress fidgeted. She knew she owed the Princess an apology but couldn't quite force herself to say it. How does a master apologize to her student without seeming weak or soft? She tried to recall the times Shifu had apologized to her when he knew he was in the wrong, but that hadn't happened often and her mind was a blank.

The Princess ran the course one more time then took a seat on a stone. "Resting for a moment, Master," she said.

"Of course," Tigress replied. "Take your time. I'll be meditating." She took up tree stance and closed her eyes. At least this way she could be quiet without being inexcusably rude.

"You don't have to," the Princess said.

Tigress opened one eye.

"There's no reason for you to be here. I guess. I'm just running around. I'm sure you have something better to do."

Guilt burned through her. "A master never has anything better to do than train her student," she said ruefully. "Princess, I - "

"You can call me Habika," she said. "I'd prefer it."

"I - "

"Do you like green grape wine, Master?"

"Y - yes..?" Tigress said, startled.

"I ordered a case of the fall vintage from Shan province this summer, before I began training. An old favorite of mine from the Forbidden City. It arrived today. Would you and the five care to join Shifu and I for dinner this evening? Open the first bottle with us? Master?"

Tigress blinked. "I … sure? Yes. I mean yes, I'll … I'll be there. Thank you Prin - Habika." The name came out of her mouth sounding sideways and awkward.

Habika smiled. It didn't touch her eyes. "Wonderful. I think I'll take that break now, Master, is that's all right with you. My legs ache." She saluted and bowed.

"You're dismissed. I'll see you tonight. "

She found something unsettling about the invitation. There didn't seem to be any malicious intent but it was just … odd. When it came down to it Tigress didn't know very much about the Princess, so she had no idea what this might mean. Was it merely her courtly hospitality at work? Was this an attempt at friendship on her part? Or was it territorial? Maybe she was trying to hold rank over Tigress over some way - Tigress may be the Master but at the end of the day she was the Princess's to invite for dinner, to share her special wine? What was she up to?

Tigress, nervous, made the rounds inviting everyone. Somehow Po was roped into cooking, which he enthusiastically took to after a small amount of grumbling. "I think a spicy vegetable curry would go great with fall wine," he said. "It'll finally give me a chance to bust out those spices you brought back from India."

Tired and edgy and not knowing what else to do she sat in the kitchen and watched him cook. "Your dishes have gotten a lot more … tasty," she said.

"The word you're looking for is 'sophisticated'."

"Well, excuse me," Tigress replied.

"You're excused." He opened a jar of cloves and inhaled happily. "I know that Shifu and Oogway would say that inner peace is the ultimate energy of the universe, and the ultimate source of everything powerful, but you know what? I think it's food." He patted his belly. "Digestion. It's the most spiritual thing there is."

Tigress's mouthed curled up into an intrigued smirk. "How do you figure?"

"When we eat we take what's outside, inside, and somehow it becomes us. You plant an apple seed, it grows into an apple tree, you eat the apple, and it becomes you. You are it. You become one with the apple, that tree, the soil the tree grew in, the rain that watered it, the ocean that rain come from, the fish living in it, the beaches on the other lands it touched … when you eat you become one with the universe. What's more spiritual than that?"

Tigress's eyes went wide. "Po … wow."

"Did I blow your mind?"

"Yeah, a little bit."

He chuckled and gave her a look, then turned back to his cooking. He'd been giving her this look every so often since she returned from her journey, a look she couldn't quite place. He tended to do it after he said or did something she found surprising. She was musing on that when a downtrodden Viper slithered into the kitchen and occupied her attention.

She put the wine bottle back on the counter.

"Just couldn't wait for dinner, could you?" Po teased.

"Hush, you."

"This looks about ready," he said and poured the heavenly-smelling curry into a pot with a lid. "Mm, that's the good stuff." He turned to them. "Why the long face Viper?"

"Oh! I'm, uh … I'm hungry. Come on, let's go." Instead of sliding to the floor she wrapped herself around Tigress's shoulders, tapping her on the back with the tip of her tail. "Sad snake taxi, take me to the sangha, please."

"I thought you were hungry, not sad," Po said.

"Hunger is a type of sadness," Viper replied softly.

ooo

Shifu watched Tigress's wine consumption with interest. He tried not to let it tip the corner into concerned interest, kept reminding himself that she was a woman grown and could handle herself … but she was certainly drinking a lot this evening, and acting … oddly. Mantis told a joke and she nearly choked on her wine for laughter, covering her mouth with her hand like a child. He glanced at Habika. She raised her eyebrows, gave a little shrug, and smiled.

"Oh!" Tigress said, pouring herself another glass of wine, then filling Shifu's cup, unbidden. "Father, have you told the story about the ghost? Tell the story about the ghost. To - to the Prin - Habika."

"That'll do," he said, holding his hand over his cup. He turned to his fiance. "You're Habika now?"

"Yes," she said. "I asked - we decided - "

"It's less formal," Tigress said, then glanced uneasily at her student. "Right?"

They stared at each other.

"Sure, that ... that's a reason," Habika replied.

"Is that not the reason?"

"Sure. Yes."

An awkward silence fell over the table in reaction to Habika's obvious lie.

"Tell me this story about the ghost," she quickly said to Shifu.

"It's a good story. Great one," Tigress said, also quickly, also to Shifu.

He gave a brief chuckle at the women's desperation to get the attention off their bumbling exchange. "Well, this happened when Tigress was - "

"I was sixteen," Tigress interrupted.

"Yes. Sixteen," he began again.

"There was a big meeting of the Masters in Shanghai, and - "

"Tigress my dear, would you like to tell the story, or shall I tell it?" Shifu asked.

She glanced down at the table, chastened. "No no, you tell it."

He patted her hand and continued. "I wanted to take Tigress to see this meeting of the Masters. She was of age and had never taken part before. The meeting of the Masters is -"

"An awesome gathering of all twenty nine kung fu schools and their Masters! Happens once every fifteen years! Everyone shows off their awesomeness and total bodacity!"

"Ah. Po's back," Tigress said.

"I can't wait for next year," he said.

"Po, would you like to tell the story?" Shifu asked.

"What, the ghost story? I don't even know the ghost story."

"Exactly. If I may…?"

"Oh yeah, Sure. Sorry," he said, also chastened.

Shifu cleared his throat. "Tigress and I were on the road, and we stayed at a crowded inn one night. It was very expensive so we ended up sharing a large room with a few other Masters we'd met along the way. Everyone was asleep save Tigress and I. We were talking quietly, and suddenly the room grew very cold. The one candle still lit blew out."

"Every hair on my head stood on end," Tigress said.

"Mine too. So we were sitting there in silence, and this … thing came through the wall."

Habika's eyes widened. "Thing?"

Shifu nodded. "It was long and thin and moved in waves, like a snake or a dragon. It came through the wall, went right past our heads, and through the other side of the room. And then, once it was gone -"

"The candle re-lit," Tigress said. "By itself."

"No," Habika said.

"I swear on Oogway's staff," Shifu said, holding his hand over his start. "Damndest thing I ever saw."

"Spooky times," Mantis said.

Shifu nodded. "To be honest I'd never felt quite so … helpless."

Tigress looked surprised. "Really? You didn't seem scared at all."

"Of course I didn't. But I was quite thoroughly spooked. As I recall you eventually fell asleep. I stayed up the entire night wondering what in the hell I was to do about a ghost? Punch it?"

"Kick it's face off," Po said.

"There are scrolls on how to deal with sprits, aren't there?" Viper asked, her first comment all night. Shifu had almost forgotten she was there.

"There are, but I had not yet studied them," he said, taking a drink of wine. "And that is the ghost story," he said.

"I liked the part where you kicked the ghost's face off," Habika said.

"I think it needs more fire," Mantis said. "Flaming things."

"Flaming," Tigress said. "Like Tai Lung."

Suddenly every eye was on Tigress. Her face dropped, as though she just realized she'd spoken her thoughts aloud. She gingerly lowered her wine glass and picked up a cup of water.

"What in the world do you mean by that?" Shifu asked, incredulous.

A fierce blush crossed her face.

"Out with it," Shifu demanded.

Tigress took a long swig of water and cleared her throat. "Tai Lung is … " she glanced at Po, "… was … gay. Flamingly so. Father."

Dead silence.

"And you came to this conclusion how, exactly?" Shifu asked evenly.

"Well … if you remember, he used that freezing nerve technique on us…?"

"Yes? So?"

She raised her eyebrow hopefully, as though hoping Shifu would infer her meaning.

"I agree. For the record," Viper said.

"Agree with what?" Shifu looked to Monkey, Mantis, and Po, who seemed just as lost as he did.

"Oh, gods," Tigress said, putting her face in her hands. "Father - if you had just spent twenty years in a prison, hadn't so much seen a woman in twenty years … " She made a summoning gesture with her hand, urging the wheels to turn in his mind.

He looked at her blankly. Took a sip of wine.

"He had me there -" she said, incredulous, "-a full grown woman his size and species - frozen and utterly helpless - and he didn't even so much as - "

Shifu spat his wine all over the table.

"Oh lord," Mantis said.

"Maybe you weren't his type," Po said.

Tigress's jaw dropped.

"Not his type?" Viper asked. "If Tigress wasn't his type, women weren't his type."

Shifu coughed violently into his hand, eyes watering. Habika patted him on the back as he took a sip of water. "Didn't you say he had a girlfriend, or … something?" she asked.

He cleared his throat. "No, he was taken as a third, once."

Po shook his head consolingly at Tigress. "Looks like you were't his type, miss thing."

"That means nothing," Shifu said. "He did it for money. To be perfectly honest, Tai Lung's type …" he began chuckling, then laughing in earnest, "...was...you know, I'm not...sure."

"It's a possibility then?" Tigress asked.

Shifu shrugged. "Anything is possible."

Sex was more than he wanted to think about, but bnder the table he put his hand on Habika's thigh. It was an unconscious movement but in the midst of it he suddenly remembered how badly he wanted her, needed her. Daughter be damned, he'd bring that woman to his bed tonight. Life was too goddamn short and full of sadness to let a night like this go to waste.

ooo

That night in the quiet barracks, Shifu held a finger to Habika's lips.

She looked up at him with wide eyes. She hand't heard him come in, and he planned it that way. The floors in the barracks were incredibly creaky, but after forty five years he knew the exact right pattern of steps to get down the hall in perfect silence.

"I'm stealing you," he whispered.

"Oooh. My naughty, naughty warrior," she whispered back, then wrapped her arms around his neck and kissed him. He slid his hands around her waist, his fingertips just touching the curve of her behind, pressing her body to his. Her grip tightened; she wanted him.

He heaved her up and over his shoulder. She pressed her hand to her mouth to muffle her giggling. He slid her door open, saw that the coast was clear, and began the pattern of elaborate steps down the hall.

Suddenly Po's door burst open and he lumbered out of his room, sleepily scratching his belly, heading towards the bathroom. Shifu froze on one foot, horrified. When Po saw them he jumped, releasing a tiny, musical fart. Habika's other hand flew to her mouth.

They stared at each other for a moment, a slow grin spreading over Po's face. There was a crash from downstairs. "Dammit!" Tigress said, a though she had just stubbed her toe.

Po made a shooing motion at them. "Hurry! Go, go, go, I'll distract her!"

Habika gave Po a thumbs-up behind his back as Shifu nodded and leapt away.

"Close one, my warrior," she said once they were outside.

"Now I owe Po," Shifu said wrly.

"Teach me how to get down that hall silently, will you?"

He gave her a quick smack on the behind. "Some things you have to earn, little one."

Afterwards, Habika chuckled at his relief. "You poor thing."

"She's a sadist!" he cried.

"You have no idea."

"I do. Five hundred runs of that course? That's just silly."

"The only thing for it is to have as much sex as possible tonight," she said. "Is there any more of that wine left?"

"So we're getting vengeance drunk and having revenge sex? Is that it?"

"Yes. Yes we are. Fuck kung fu. Kung fu can go to hell. I'm getting the wine and then more fucking and don't make me run any goddamn course."

"As you wish, Princess."

"And don't call me Princess!" she said, rising from the bed, then tumbling over her own feet to the floor.

ooo

"Ouch!" Tigress said as Po inspected her big toe. They sat on the floor of her rooms next to the dragon statue she'd tripped over.

"Well it's not broken, but I think you may have sustained some serious brain injury in the fall," he said.

Tigress gave up and lay down, Po still holding her foot. "I sustained serious brain injury from the wine. I cannot believe I made that crack about Tai Lung in front of Shif - Father," she moaned, covering her face with her hands.

"Why? I've never seen him laugh that hard. Ever."

"It was just wrong. Ugh. Po! I'm a shit kung-fu teacher and a shit daughter. I have achieved the … the critical mass of shit-dom."

"What?" Po asked, surprised. "You are not. Where are you even getting this from?"

Tigress's lower lip quivered, but she held back tears. Instead she burst forth with everything else she'd been holding back. Her fears about teaching the Princess, her insecurities about her new relationship with Shifu. "I don't know how to be a daughter, or how … or how teach kung fu. I'm crap at it and she knows it. You should see how she looked at me today. Ugh. I … I don't know. I don't know anything at all."

During her long venting Po lay down next to her, propped up on his elbow, giving them an intimacy she would have found utterly shocking if not for the wine in her blood.

"I think you're being a little too hard on yourself. Just a little."

"No," she said miserably. "I'm clumsy and stupid and bad at everything. Oh gods, and now I'm being self-indulgent on top of it. It never ends." She closed her eyes and turned away from him. "I can't believe I'm telling you this stuff."

"You can always tell me stuff."

Tigress was quiet for a moment.

"I can?" she asked softly, without opening her eyes.

"Of course," Po said.

She opened her eyes and turned to him. "Are you sure about that?" she asked softly.

"Yeah. Why wouldn't I be?"

She grimaced. "Because there's … a lot … going on with me," she struggled to say.

He smiled down at her, his face as big and round and sweet as the moon.

"I can handle it," he said.

Suddenly Tigress felt warmer than she'd ever felt. She studied his eyes, deep and kind. He really meant it. And what of that warm feeling? She fought to define it for a moment, then realized she was touched. Utterly, deeply touched.

"Po," she began softly. "You - "

"What's going on in here?" Crane said.

They looked up to see Crane standing in the doorway, his hat tucked under his wing, looking utterly exhausted.

"What happened to you?" Tigress asked.

"She means, 'Hey Crane, lovely to see you, how was your date?'" Po corrected.

"Total disaster."

"That good?"

"Oh yeah. Crane strikes out. Again."

"Aw. Poor Crane," Po said.

"Yeah. Poor Crane," Crane said, and walked away looking utterly dejected.

Po sighed and shook his head. He jerked his head towards Crane. "I think I'd better go make sure he doesn't jump off the roof," he said.

"He can fly," Tigress said.

"You get the idea. Man, the barracks are chock full of sad bastards this evening," he said. "At least Shifu's getting some action."

"What!"

Po froze. "I didn't say that. That's not what I said."

"Po!"

"Ok, he kinda sneaked in and stole Habika earlier."

"What, and you just let him!"

"What am I, celibacy enforcement? Who am I to tell my Master he can't sleep with his freakin' girlfriend? Oh gods, now I have the mental image, thanks a lot, Tigress."

Tigress shook her head and sighed. "Just when I thought they took me seriously. Guh I'm too tired to even be mad right now."

Po put an arm around her shoulders and tugged her close in a companionable hug. "Okay, go to bed, drunky. You can yell at Habika in the morning."

"Oh boy," she said ruefully, resting her head briefly against his shoulder.

"Off to save Crane. Dragon Warrior to the rescue," he said, rising suddenly from the floor. "Crane, don't jump!" he called up the hall, glancing back at Tigress to see if the joke took. She smiled and waved him off. After he padded down the hall she rose, shut the door, and tumbled into bed, the memory of Po's heavy, warm hug and moon smile warming her to sleep.

ooo

The next morning went predictably. Tigress felt so sick and hung over she could barely choke down breakfast. Mantis swore she'd feel better after a huge plate of greasy fried tofu but the thought of it made her retch. Instead she forced down two peaches and drank all the water she could get her hands on.

To her credit the Princess was awake and on time, though she looked a wreck. When she saw Tigress she saluted and bowed. "Mast - " she began.

"Don't start," Tigress barked. "I know full well what you two got up to last night."

Habika stared at her for a moment before dropping her salute. "Fine. Whatever."

"Fine, whatever -"

"MASTER, I know," she said, crossing her arms.

"I don't like your attitude this morning," Tigress said warningly.

"I haven't liked yours since we started this farce."

"Farce?" Tigress nearly shouted.

"Yes, farce! Your heart obviously isn't in this!" she almost shouted back.

"You have no business telling me what my heart is and isn't in, Princess."

"I asked you not to call me that."

"I'll call you whatever I damn well please!"

The Princess threw her hands in the air. "Oh, gods, why are you such an insufferable bitch!"

"EXCUSE ME?" Tigress roared, towering over her.

"Let's cut the crap, shall we?" Habika shouted right back up at her. "What are you wasting my time with this? Why did you offer to train me if you can't stand me?"

"For my FATHER!" Tigress yelled, bending down to get in her face.

"Well ME TOO!" Habika shouted, stepping forward, unafraid.

They glared at each other, furious but at a stalemate.

"Master Tigress - ?" came a hesitant voice.

"What!" she barked. She turned to see a quivering Zeng, holding out a scroll.

"This came for you," he said.

She took it, grateful for the distraction. "Thanks," she muttered. He bowed and scuttled off. She took a few steps away from the furious fennec and began to unroll the scroll.

"Oh sure, take your time!" the Princess spat.

Tigress would have responded in kind, but the words on the scroll sent a bolt of pure shock through her chest, and it was all she could do to remain standing.

Written in urgent, sloppy chinese were the words

I DIDN'T DO IT

Her eyes fell to the bottom of the scroll, past the rest of the clumsily written message, and landed on the signature.

-ABASI-

ooo