Lily's Contribution Corner: This episode is brought to you in part by:

-Lilfoc: CEO of Lil' Fockers Day Care! Is your kid annoying? If you said yes, then send them over, where it's okay to call your kids Lil' Fockers! Lil' Fockers Day Care, where we lock your kids up in a janitor's closet because you didn't have enough love to do it yourself! Call us at (857) LIL-FOCK for a free information packet today!

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*Requirements: must be able to roller-skate. Duh.

-BlackWarGreymon, co-founder of Slayerdramon and BlackWarGreymon's Training Ground! This month only: Fitness guru Gotsumon will hold a couple of ab-crunching classes every Tuesday and Thursday night from 4-6 and 7-9! You'll get rock-hard abs in as little as a couple of sessions! Slayerdramon and BlackWarGreymon's Training Ground, where we'll make a man out of you, even if you're a woman!

-Ross, creator of Rosstafarian Shakes! Try our 30 delicious concoctions, including our ever-so-popular Jamaican Me Go Bananas, Limey Jerk, Bob Marlberry, Dreadnut Dreadlocks, Guava Gonja, Reggae Citrus, and so much more!

-Guest, one of the associates at Guest Who, the secret society where even the members don't even know the other society members! Interested in being a part of our elite group? Just go to the phone booth two blocks away and someone will deliver a cryptic message to you. Before you read the letter, make sure no one's watching you. From there, be prepared to start the journey of your life. Guest Who, the secret society of secret members! We would say that James Bond was an alumni, but we're not allowed to deny or reveal any of our club members.


The Final Wipeout! (Part 1)

"Having a big breakfast is a very important part of an active day! Gotta start off the day with lots of proteins and carbs," Gennai sang as he plopped a couple of pancakes on Marcus's plate.

"Wow, this is amazing! Who cooked this?" Kari shoved some pancakes in her mouth.

"Seriously. There must be something wrong with this food because you guys are too cheap to hire a good chef," Rika poked at her Canadian bacon.

"I don't care! This stuff is sooo good!" Kazu slammed his face into his plate. "Nom nom nom!"

"Glad to hear you like it because Mrs. Kamiya cooked this breakfast!" Lily sipped at a protein shake as she picked off the cereal from her Lucky Charms.

"She did? This stuff's actually...good," Marcus stared at his stuffed pancakes.

"Yep, those culinary courses really improved her skills," Gennai chomped on a granola bar.

"Hey kids! I whipped up some more food!" Mrs. Kamiya set a huge pile of Belgian waffles in the middle of the table.

"Yay!" Kazu picked his head up from his plate and snatched a waffle.

"Wow, this has to be the best meal I had since this show started!" Marcus raved.

"Aww, how sweet!" Mrs. Kamiya gushed.

"Oh man! I can feel my food baby kicking!" Kazu rubbed his belly.

"Gross," Rika made a face and went back to wrapping a chicken finger in with a pancake.

"Mom, this is amazing!" Kari said.

"Yeah yeah yeah, it's all good. Now get back in the kitchen!" Gennai slapped Mrs. Kamiya's bum.

"Ooh, cheeky one there," Mrs. Kamiya winked.

"Blechhh," Lily regurgitated her marshmallows back into her bowl. "Save the sexual harassment for behind the camera!"

"Aww, Lil! If it bugs you children that much, then close your eyes!" Gennai stuck his tongue out.

"What are you trying to say?" Lily gave Gennai a stern look.

"I'm not saying anything, but you're throwing a hissy fit, you have a pink crown on your head, you're only eating the marshmallow part of your Lucky Charms, and you're drinking PediaSure from a swirly straw," Gennai smirked.

"And your point is...?" Lily glared at Gennai.

"Nothing really, just that you're being a brat," Gennai casually said.

"Oh yeah?!" Lily yelled. "Just remember that this little brat signs your checks!"

*sploosh*

"Ha hah hah hah hah!" Gennai and Kazu laughed.

"Missed me!" Gennai mocked.

"Ewww," Kari frowned. She had sticky marshmallows all over her hair.

"Hearts, stars and horseshoes, clovers and blue moons," Kazu picked the marshmallows out of Kari's hair and ate them. "Pots of gold and rainbows, and the red balloon!"

"I'm finished," Lily calmly placed her sticky spoon down on the table. "When you kids are done with breakfast, head off to the purple trailer parked in front. The makeover stylists will be waiting out there for you."

"Oh boy," Kazu rubbed his hands together.

"Oh boy," everyone else groaned.


Camera Confessions...

"I'm so gonna kick everyone's ass!" Kazu raised his fist in the air.


"I'm so gonna kick Kazu's ass," Rika slammed her fist against her palm.


"I'm so gonna kick Kazu's ass," Marcus cracked his knuckles.


"Does my ass look too big in these shorts?" Kari turned her butt to the camera.

Daily Poll: Does Kari's ass look too big in those shorts? Send the codes below to TDIFI (83434) * to tell us what you think!

PLANK if you think Kari's seeing things because she only has back and legs, and nothing in between.

JLO if you think Kari's ass looks perfectly cute in those shorts.

SLIMFAST if you think...well, the code kinda makes it obvious of what you think.

*Message and data rates may apply.


TDI Sports Commentary With Lily and Gennai!

"This is our last challenge, so we have to make it big! Extravagant! Bigger than Kari's ass in those hideous shorts! Humongous! Grande!" Lily boomed.

"I think you've got the point across, Nicki Minaj," Gennai smirked. He shook his head disapprovingly at the crewmen who were renovating the BMX track into a Colosseum arena.

"What? I happen to love this outfit! I picked it out myself!" Lily stood up and twirled in front of the camera. She was wearing a tiny purple top hat, a pink tutu, mismatched polkadot socks, neon green high-tops, a hot pink wristband on one arm and a bunch of neon slap bracelets on the other.

"I can clearly see that," Gennai flatly said. "You look like what would happen if the 80's threw up all over the Mad Hatter."

"And you look like an old man!" Lily snapped. "Now shut the hell up! This is supposed to be a sports commentary, not a fashion commentary!"

"I look like an old man?! But I just got this reconstructive surgery a couple of months ago!" Gennai pulled out a mirror and looked at his reflection.

"Fellow viewers, this is the moment you've all been waiting for! Over the past several weeks, we've seen our 26 contestants dwindle down to our Final Four! Now, the time has come for us to see who will claim the victory! Gennai! Can you please be a doll and remind the viewers of what the grand prize is?" Lily said.

"The winner will get a chance to reunite with their digimon, have a feature spread in Gamer Magazine and best of all...$1,000,000!" Gennai grinned.

"Now, before we start the games, our final contestants will be presented with their tribute tokens!" Lily yelled into her microphone. "From the east wing...our queen of ice, Rika!"

*YAAAAAAY*

Rika walked to the center of the arena, where Jeri gave her a necklace with a diamond pendant on it.

*Woot woot!*

"Like a breath of fresh air, and light as wind...to the west wing is Kari!"

Tai presented Kari with her tribute token. It was a pendant in the shape of a gladiator sandal with wings on the side.

*clap clap clap*

"Seems like Kari has a lot of fan love," Gennai remarked.

"Go Kari, go Kari, GO!" Davis sat in the audience, clapping like a seal.

"She sure does," Lily shot Davis a look of pity.

"Coming from the north wing, with a temper hotter than fire, put your hands together for Marcus!" Gennai announced.

*clap*

Thomas went down on one knee and handed Marcus a dog tag with flames painted on it.

*cricket cricket*

"Thanks guys, thanks! Love the support," Marcus grumbled.


In another world...

"I wonder who he's talking to. It's not like any of us are rooting for him," Kristy dipped her chips in a jar of blue cheese.

"Now Kristy, be nice," Sarah Damon gave her daughter a warning glance.

"Why?" Kristy asked.

"Marcus may not be as...winner-material as Rika, but he's still your brother and my son," Sarah said.

"Then why are you wearing a Team Rika shirt, Sarah?" Sampson tilted his shades.

"Why don't you ever take off those sunglasses? We're indoors," Sarah quipped.

"Because we're too badass to show our eyes to the world," Yamaki said.

"Mom...who the hell is that?" Kristy whispered.

"I have no idea," Sarah snuck a look at Yamaki. She walked up to Sampson and whispered in his ear. "Do you know who that is?"

"No, I thought you invited him," Sampson whispered back.

"These fried eggs are delicious, Sarah," Yamaki said.

"Thanks," Sarah awkwardly nodded.


"And from the south wing, Kazu! Down to earth, and just as low as dirt!" Lily said.

*BOOOOO!*

"Everyone else might hear booing, but I hear nothing but jealousy! Suck it bitches!" Kazu mooned the audience.

"Pull your pants up!" Lily growled.

"Okay," Kazu whined and zipped them back up.

"Hold still," Henry pinned a badge on Kazu's shirt.

"What the hell is that?" Gennai asked Lily.

"I don't know. Cameraman, zoom in on Kazu," Lily said.

"On it," Koji adjusted the camera.

"My badge kinda looks like a turd," Kazu looked at his pin.

"Be nice. Suzie made it for you, since your tribute token had to symbolize dirt," Henry crossed his arms.

"Thanks Suzie! This is the dirtiest turd ever!" Kazu grinned.

"It's supposed to be a lump of earth, not a turd," Henry said through his teeth.

"And there we have it! Earth, Wind, Fire and Ice! These final four will race through the Digital World to go back to where everything started!" Lily said dramatically.

"You mean back to when their parents were completely wasted and nine months later, these kids popped out?" Gennai asked.

"My mom only had me for 6 months. She said I was really advanced compared to all the other kids my age," Kazu bragged.

"That explains a lot," Lily looked at Kazu with concern.


A Health Bulletin From Thomas H. Norstein, M.D.

"Hello. My name is-"

"We already know what your name is!" Takuya yelled.

"Unbelievable," Thomas muttered to himself. "Anyways, I, Thomas H. Norstein, M.D., want to talk to you about premature infants-"

"You mean immature infants!" Matt interrupted.

"Ohhh, that's a good one!" Tai high-fived him.

"The normal term of pregnancy is around 40 weeks, but it's okay if the baby is born a couple of days after or before its due date; nothing has to be completely exact. It only becomes a problem when the standard deviation falls beyond the three-week mark. When your infant is born before 37 weeks, that marks them in the premature category. Because premature babies haven't had as much time to develop as full-term babies, they have a higher chance of health complications, such as autism, cerebral palsy, learning difficulties, behavioral issues, and respiratory, sight, and hearing problems. You are most likely to go through premature labor if you:

-drink, smoke, engage in illicit drugs or other risky behavior

-are black

-work long hours

-live in stressful environment

-are younger than 17 or older than 35

-have poor nutrition

-are either underweight or overweight."

"So you're saying that if you want to delay premature birth, you can't drink alcohol?" Takuya asked.

"Or be black?" Tommy asked.

"No, those are just risk factors that can increase the chance of premature birth," Thomas sighed.

"So I won't necessarily go through premature labor?" an older, overweight black man raised his hand.

"Who's that?" the audience mumbled.

"Well, no. But that's mostly because you are male," Thomas said.

"Thank god!" the man wiped his forehead in relief and sat back down in his chair.

"If I may continue, I'd like to show you a couple of examples. I have two examples of premature labor, and I also provided a control example so you can compare. I will name them Exhibit A, B, and C," Thomas pinned some Polaroids on what used to be the felt top of a pool table. "Exhibit A is a healthy young woman, who never smoked, drank, or did drugs during her pregnancy. Note that she isn't under or overweight, and that she isn't black," Thomas pointed at a Polaroid with a drumstick.

"Uh huh," the audience pulled out mini notebooks and starting jotting stuff down.

"Next up is Exhibit B. She is a successful African-American woman in her mid-30s. Although she has acquired a good-paying job, she has to work long hours in an overwhelming environment," Thomas pointed to the second picture.

"Okay, okay," everyone nodded and scribbled away on their notebooks.

"And the last example, a 16-year-old white girl, who has alcoholism and a strong dependency on hardcore drugs, including meth and cocaine. Obviously, she isn't taking very good care of herself, especially when her drug usage only contributes to her being underweight. Like Exhibit B, she also works long hours, but at a dead-end job at a...," Thomas shuddered.

"Thomas, are you okay?" Sora asked.

"I'm fine. I just don't know how to phrase this without demeaning these women or myself," Thomas said.

"Does she work at a whore house?" Davis grinned.

"Yes," Thomas pressed his palm firmly against his forehead. "Yes, she works at a...gentleman's club."

"She sounds like a hot mess," Yoshi frowned.

"Now that we have the introductions out of the way, I will show you how the results of their pregnancies. Exhibit A will be used as the standard to show you how an infant turns out after a normal pregnancy," Thomas ripped off the picture of Exhibit A to reveal another photograph underneath it.

"Hey! That's you!" Joe gasped.

"Correct," Thomas said. "Now let me show you how Exhibit B's offspring turned out," he ripped Exhibit B's picture out of the board.

"Holy crap! That's Kenta!" the audience gasped.

"Your mom's black?" TK asked in awe.

"Yeah, but Rika said that my real mom gave me up for adoption because she didn't love me," Kenta sighed.

"Then how did you get adopted?" Zoe asked.

"Rika said my real mom paid my parents lots of money to take me," Kenta frowned.

"Are you going to listen to everything Rika says?" Izzy asked.

"Wouldn't you? She is one of the smarter contestants," Ryo said.

"Let's move on, please," Thomas tapped his foot. "As you can see in this example, Exhibit B's child suffers with some sight issues," Thomas tapped on Kenta's picture. "If you have been acquainted with him, you would also know he has poor coordination skills, even worse social skills, and uses an inhaler."

"Oh my gosh, that's so true!" Takato gasped.

"And now we move on to the most tragic of all examples. Due to her lifestyle choices, her child is severely...," Thomas paused.

"What is it now?" Ken gave Thomas a concerned look.

"I don't know how to say this without sounding offensive...," Thomas took in a deep breath.

"You need to stop mincing your words! Just say what's in your heart, your soul!" Takuya slid his hands all over his chest.

"No, it's politically incorrect," Thomas said.

"Takuya's got a point. Just say the kid turned out to be completely retarded and let's move on," Yolei huffed.

"Fine, but your words, not mine," Thomas sighed. "Anyways, this is Exhibit C's child."

"I knew his mom was a crack whore!" Ryo jumped out of his seat.

"Hey, that's not very nice! Kazu's mom is a nice lady!" Kenta yelled.

"That doesn't mean she isn't a crack whore," JP shrugged.

"Why do I bother teaching these people anything?" Thomas groaned.

"Hey everyone!" Mimi walked in front of the room, with a tray in her hands.

"Mimi?" everyone froze.

"I made some desserts. I hope you like them," Mimi held the tray up.

"Cinnamon buns!" everyone tackled her.

"Ahhh!" Mimi fell back as everyone grabbed a cinnamon bun.

"Phffft!"

"Yuck!"

"Blech!"

"Guys, what's wrong?" Mimi got up from the floor.

"These things suck!" Davis licked his arm.

"They're not cooked all the way," Ken explained.

"Darnfuckits! Those buns came out of the oven too early!" Mimi pouted.


We now bring you back to our regular programming!

"Are you guys ready to fight?" Lily hollered.

"Yeah!" everyone yelled back.

"Okay then! Time to strap you guys up!" As soon as Lily said that, the ground began to shake. The colosseum bleachers sunk underneath and a huge cylinder popped up. A couple of burly interns began to pick up the kids and bring them over to the cylinder.

"Don't you even think about it," Marcus growled.

"Okay, just go," the intern pointed in the direction of the cylinder.

"Good, good, everyone's strapped in," Lily jumped off her podium and circled around the cylinder. "Okay, before we start, put these on," she put orange sunglasses on everyone.

"What the?"

"Whoaaaa, radical!"

"What's the big deal?"

"I can't see clearly in these!"

"Good! Only makes things funner!" Lily squealed. "We're going to start off the games with a little something I like to call the Dizzy Dummy! Gennai, will you do the honors?"

"With pleasure!" Gennai pulled out a mallet and slammed it against a big orange button. The cylinder began spinning really fast.

"Whoooaaaahhhh!" Kari screamed.

"Oh no! My water broke! My food baby's gonna come out!" Kazu shouted.

"You better keep it in your pants!" Rika yelled.

"Hah! That's what she said!" Marcus laughed.

"How can you be making jokes like this when we're spinning at 120 miles an hour?" Kari queasily said.

"Having fun, guys?" Lily asked.

"Not really," everyone said at the same time.

"Aww, pooh!" Lily frowned.

"POO!" Kazu yelled.

"You better not! I'm not fucking joking! I will beat the fuck out of you!" Marcus threatened.

"Okay, Gennai! Stop the machine before anyone splatters!" Lily called out.

"Alright," Gennai whined. "Uh, Lily?"

"What?"

"The button isn't working...," Gennai frantically pushed the button.

"What?!" the kids shrieked.

"Don't worry! This machine will run out of power eventually, right Izzy?" Lily grabbed Izzy's shoulder.

"Yeah, when it gets darker," Izzy said.

"What?!" Lily shrieked.

"This contraption is powered by solar energy," Izzy said.

"Whose dumb idea was that?" Lily scoffed.

"Yours," Gennai and Izzy said in unison.

"You did want to make this show somewhat eco-friendly to gain approval from other TV networks," Izzy said.

"So this thing isn't going to stop any time soon?" Kari screamed.

"I'm afraid so," Izzy replied.

"Oh, the button works after all! You just need to give it a little punch!" Gennai pressed the button.

*screeeech* The cylinder jerked and came to a quick halt. The interns rushed over and unbuckled the kids.

"I don't feel too good," Kari slurred.

"Awesome! That means it's going as I planned!" Lily squealed. "How are the rest of you holding up?"

"I'm feeling tipsy," Marcus stumbled.

"That's because you guys are also wearing beer goggles! Now, you guys have to go straight ahead to that Bugles-shaped cone. Over there, you'll find some stuff that'll help you out during this challenge. I suggest you get there before anyone else, because there's only enough stuff for two people. From there, you'll get more instructions! Have fun on the Final Wipeout, and may the odds be ever in your favor!" Lily said in a silly accent. She pulled out a bag of Bugles and opened it. "Want some, Izzy?"

"Sure," he grabbed a fistful.

"How about me?" Gennai yelled.

"No," Lily hugged the bag of chips.


"Whoa...," Kazu teetered around.

"Get lost!" Marcus tried to push Kazu away, but completely missed him.

"Hah hah!" Kazu laughed.

"I'm not doing too good," Kari clutched on to her stomach.

"This is stupid. I'm taking these...," Rika pulled on her glasses. "They're not coming off!"

"Hah hah! Your head's too big!" Kazu jeered.

"That's ridiculous! It's not like these glasses are...what the hell?!" Marcus tried to take his goggles off but they were stuck to his head.

"Guys, are you trying to trick me?" Kari panicked.

"Why would I joke around?" Rika snarled.

"Yeah, Kar! Does it look like Rika has a sense of humor?" Kazu laughed.

*trip*

"Can it!" Marcus tripped Kazu and kicked him.

"Don't tell me I'm going to be a gogglehead for the rest of this competition!" Rika growled. "They won't move!"

"How about we stop freaking out and get to the giant Bugle chip? Maybe someone will help us out then?" Kari suggested.

"Seems like Kazu's beating us to the chase," Rika grumbled.

"Not if I can help it! There's no way I'm gonna let that twerp beat me!" Marcus ran after Kazu.

"I already lost my dignity by wearing these goggles, and there's no way I'm letting Kazu take the rest of it away!" Rika stumbled forward.

"Oh boy...," Kari weakly said.


At the Cornucopia, I mean Giant Bugle Chip!

"I...made...it...," Marcus tried to catch his breath.

"Barely!" Kazu scoffed.

"You...," Rika gruffly said. She dragged herself over the sand. She raised her arm and pulled Kazu's foot off the ground.

*crash!*

"What was that for?" Kazu whined.

"Did I miss anything?" Kari panted.

"No. This stupid place is empty! What gives?" Marcus put his hands on his hips.

"Hey! Can you hear me?"

"God? Is that you?" Kazu looked around.

"Aww, people have called me that before!"

"Hi Lily," Marcus groaned.

"Take off your goggles and put them in the trash bin in the corner," she commanded through the intercom.

"But-"

"Just do it!"

"Thank god!" Rika effortlessly whipped her goggles off and dropped them into the wastebasket.

"I can see straight again," Kari sighed.

"Wish we could say the same about Kazu," Marcus muttered.

"Man, I liked these things," Kazu pouted and dropped his glasses into the garbage bin.

"Everyone dropped their beer goggles in?"

"Yes."

"Okay then. Now I want you to turn around. You should see a blue bin on the other side."

"You mean the mailbox looking thing that has a sign that says 'Reesickle' on it?" Kazu squinted his eyes.

"Yes, that one."

"You know you spelled recycle wrong?" Kari said.

"Don't blame me. Izzy wrote the sign," Lily scoffed. "Now, inside that bin are a bunch of recycled digivices. I want you to stick your hands inside and grab the first one you touch. They will serve as your compass throughout the challenge by pointing you in the direction of the winner's circle on File Island. Whether or not you follow the compass is all up to you, but it is very highly recommended that you do follow it. Got it?"

"Yeah," Rika rolled her eyes.

"Who wants to go first?" Kari shuffled her feet in the dirt.

"I'll go," Marcus reached inside the recycle bin and pulled out a red digivice.

"Hey, that's Takato's digivice!" Kazu gasped.

"I told you those things were recycled."

"That's supposed to be a digivice? It looks more like a pedometer," Marcus dangled the digivice in front of his face.


And now, a lovely moment with the (useful) Tamers...

"My digivice does not look like a pedometer! I did download this pedometer app on it, but that doesn't make my digivice a pedometer," Takato said.

"Takato, it kinda does make your digivice a pedometer," Henry pointed out.

"Oh really? Does that mean that your digivice is some kind of psychic because you downloaded some stupid Chinese horoscope app on your digivice?" Takato raised an eyebrow.

"That's not the same thing," Hery crossed his arms.

"Yeah, Takato! It's a half-Chinese horoscope app!" Jeri chimed in.

"How can a horoscope be half-Chinese?" Ryo asked.

"That's what happens when you get the free version. If I want all twelve signs, I have to buy the full app for $3.99," Henry sighed.

"Bummer," everyone frowned.

"Well, at least your digivice worked. Mine is so completely burnt out, they refused to recycle it," Jeri fumbled with her yellow digivice.

"Bummer..."


"Which one did you get?" Kari looked over Rika's shoulder.

"Can you wait until I get my hand out of this stupid mailbox first?" Rika snarled.

"Sorry...," Kari grimaced.

"That used to be Thomas's!" Marcus pointed at Rika's digivice.

"My turn!" Kazu thrust his hand inside the recycle bin and slid his hand over all the digivices. "Eeny, Meeny, Miney-"

"Pick one!" Marcus growled.

"Ah!" Kazu clutched a random digivice and fell backwards.

"That's TK's digivice!" Kari said.

"This is supposed to be a digivice? It looks like if a beeper had sex with a walkie talkie," Kazu held up his digivice by its antennae.

"Alright, Kari. Your turn," Marcus said.

"I don't know why, but I feel so nervous right now," Kari took a deep breath before she reached inside the mailbox.

"Just hurry up. It smells like nachos in here," Rika huffed.

"Okay," Kari pulled a lavender D-Tector from the bin. "Hey, do any of you recognize this digivice?"

"Nope."

"Not a clue."

"Nuh uh."

"That sucks. I was hoping that this one belonged to someone," Kari frowned.

"Just think of it as if you had a brand new digivice. We got all of these used ones," Kazu said. "Don't even get me started on this piece of crap. It looks like something from the 1990's! It looks like the baby monitor my neglectful mother refused to get because she thought the police would use it to bug our house!"


A fine word from the Adventure kids!

"My digivice does not look like a baby monitor. Kazu's completely over exaggerating," TK bit the inside of his cheek.

"How? Everything he said actually made sense," Matt smirked.

"Like the fact that he had a neglectful mother?" Cody said.

"Well, yeah, but that's not the only thing," Sora said.

"Kazu's got a good point. It does look like it was from the 1990's," Joe said.

"And we all know that the 1990's was the era of horrible fashion," Mimi said. "Overalls, crimped hair, butterfly clips, sunflower prints, skorts, jelly shoes? So gross! The only place jelly should be is in a jar!"

"Mimi, didn't you have all of those things?" Tai shot Mimi a mischievous look.

"I was only experimenting! I was a confused little girl back then," Mimi sighed.

"Oooh, tell me more," Yolei grinned.

"She was experimenting with fashion, not with what you're thinking of," Cody gave Yolei a disapproving look.

"Oh. That's boring," Yolei frowned.

"Didn't Gennai make these digivices in the 1990's?" Ken asked.

"Hey, just be happy I finished the damn things. Sure, I procrastinated for at least 1990 years, but at least I made them before 2000!" Gennai huffed.


"How about it Kari? I'll take your pink digivice and you can have TK's," Kazu bargained.

"The pink one suits him better," Rika muttered.

"I dunno. You can't just pick what you want when it comes to the digital world. If it's meant to be, then it's meant to be," Kari said.

"But Takato got to choose his digimon," Rika smirked.

"Didn't you also pick your digimon?" Marcus sneered.

"No. Renamon chose me. Completely different story," Rika shook her head.

"See? With the exception of Takato, we didn't choose our digimon, or digivice," Kari said.

"Hmmm, not good enough reason for me. Hey Lily, can we trade?" Kazu whined.

"No."

"Fine...," Kazu pouted. "Stupid baby monitor."

"Alright, we've got our digivices, now what? We're stuck inside this overgrown chip," Marcus huffed.

"In order to get out of here, you're gonna need to...well, Kazu beat you to the punch," Lily trailed off. There was a huge hole on the side of the Bugle chip.

"He ate the damn wall," Marcus was stunned.

"What are you guys waiting for? At this point, I don't really care who wins, as long as it isn't Kazu!" Rika jumped out of the hole.

"Gotta start movin'!" Marcus leaped out of the Bugle chip.


Camera Confessions...

"Although I really do agree with what Rika said, I don't know if any of us will beat Kazu. He's the first one to make it to the supplies...," Kari paused.


"Anybody hungry? Because you can bite my dust, bitches!" Kazu shuffled his feet backwards in the dirt.

"Dipshit," Marcus flicked Kazu in the head and casually walked over to the supplies.

"Hey, gimme what you got," Marcus leaned over the counter. A short, stocky blond boy and a guy in a huge suit of armor stood behind the booth, and there were a couple of dark crystals sitting on the counter..

"Gimme? Do you really expect me to give you anything with an arrogant attitude like that?" the blond boy took the crystals and placed them to the side. "I can't just give these to anybody, and personally, I don't think you can handle the powers of these elements before me, especially with your lack of-."

"Niceness!" the guy in the suit of armor cut him off.

"I refuse to let these crystals fall into the wrong hands," the blonde boy stated.

"Oh yeah? Well, I'm Marcus freakin' Damon, the ultimate fighter! Who the hell do you think you are to tell me what I can't handle?" Marcus slapped his chest.

"I'm Edward Elric, state alchemist. And that over there is my little brother, Al!" the blonde boy said.

"Hi," the guy in the armor suit waved to Marcus.

"Little? Then why is he bigger than you?" Marcus smirked.

"Shut up! How-dare-you-call-me-a-pipsqueak-so-short-that-I-could-be-a-teller-at-a-piggy-bank?!" Ed spazzed out.

"Ho, buddy! You need to chill out. I never said that! Talk about a Napoleon complex," Marcus grimaced.

"Hey! I do not have a Napoleon complex! What are you trying to say now?! That I'm so short, I make the Keebler Elves look tall?!" Ed yelled.

"Holy crap! I didn't say that...even if it is true," Marcus said haughtily.

"Brother...," Al tapped Ed on the shoulder.

"Not now, Al! I'm in the middle of teaching this guy a lesson!" Ed pushed up the sleeves of his jacket.

"You're gonna teach me a lesson? What is it? How to look taller without using high heels?" Marcus scoffed.

"Why you little-"

"You're the little one," Marcus laughed. "I'm at least two heads taller than you!"

"Brother! That kid just took away the element crystals," Al pointed at Kazu, who was running off.

"Why didn't you warn me?!" Ed yelled.

"I tried to tell you, but you were too busy arguing with Marcus," Al shrugged.

"And you didn't want those crystals to fall into the wrong hands. Pretty smart of you to freak out on me, when he's the one you should have watched out for," Marcus smirked.

"Ayayayayayaya! This is great!" Ed frantically ran his fingers through his hair. "The end of the world as we know it!"

"Brother, you can't necessarily know that. That kid looked completely harmless," Al said.

"Harmless," Marcus said sarcastically.

"Harmless, Al?! The kid's wearing a visor! If that's not a sign of how much of a screw up he is, then I don't what is!" Ed exclaimed.

"Don't worry! I'll take care of him. Trust me on that," Marcus cracked his knuckles. "By the way, thanks for the help! I would have never made it this far without you."

"I don't need your sarcasm!" Ed yelled.

"Geez, I think I know where they get the phrase 'short-tempered' from," Marcus muttered loud enough for Ed to hear him.

"Hey! I am not short-tempered! You come back here! I'll show you!"

"Brother," Al calmly restrained Ed. "It's not worth all your energy to fight over something petty."

"Gah, let me go!"

"Peace out, Midget and Tin Man!" Marcus chuckled and ran off.


Rika scanned her surroundings. There were two booths around, and Marcus was already at one of them, so she walked over to the empty one.

"Hi! Ash Ketchum here! Wanna see my badge collection?" a little boy with messy, dark hair popped up from under the counter.

"No, I don't have time for that. I just need to get my supplies and get out of here," Rika grunted.

"So you don't care about the fact that I have a bunch of badges because I defeated a bunch of Gym Leaders?" Ash asked.

"Not really," Rika impatiently tapped her foot.

"I'm trying to be the best Pokemon master in the world!" Ash said in pride.

"Aren't Pokemon the retarded digimon?" Rika gave Ash a strange look.

"I prefer to call them slowly-developed," Ash pressed his lips together. "I gotta catch 'em all!"

"Why? As far as I'm concerned, Pokemon are useless and defenseless," Rika scoffed.

"That's why! Pokemon are so easy to capture, and I plan to get as much as I can!"

"Oh my god! You're a Digimon Kaiser?!" Kari gasped.

"No. He only goes after the dimwitted Pokemon," Rika said.

"So you're trying to take advantage of the weak ones?" Kari slapped Ash in the face.

"No! It's not what it's like!" Ash rubbed his face.

"Just give me the damn supplies already!" Rika yelled. She looked at the corner of her eye and saw Marcus chasing after Kazu.

"Not until I show you my badge collection!" Ash placed a glass box on the counter.

"Fine. Whatever. Just make it quick," Rika rolled her eyes.

"You see, I won a Volcano Badge, that's a Beacon Badge, oh, this is a Zephyr Badge, a Glacier Badge, an Earth Badge and that's pretty much it so far," Ash shrugged.

"Lamest story ever," Rika droned.

*scrrreeeech*

"What the hell is that?" Rika said, irate.

"I think it's this," Kari said. Her digivice made a sharp, whirring sound.

"Initiating Fractal Code Digitize...," a light beam came out of Kari's digivice and sucked up Ash's badges.

"Hey! You took my badges!" Ash whined.

"Don't tell me those were the supplies," Rika took a deep breath.

"Okay, I won't. I'll just find out for myself. Bye Rika!" Kari dashed off.

"You've got to be frickin' kidding me!" Rika kicked the booth. "I'm not leaving empty-handed!"

"You don't really have a choice," Ash said matter-of-factly.

"Shut up!" Rika jumped behind the counter and punched Ash in the face. "I'll take your stupid hat! And I'll take your backpack too!" Rika grabbed Ash's backpack and leaped over the booth.

"Hey!" Ash groaned.

"You know what? I change my mind. You can have your stupid hat back. It looks like something a gas attendant at the Quick-E Mart would wear," Rika roughly flung the baseball cap at Ash.

"Ow...," Ash whined.

"Great, thanks to those bastards, I'm last place!" Rika grumbled. She slung the green backpack over her shoulder and ran toward her competitors. "Why is everyone stopping?" she wondered. Marcus and Kari were standing over Kazu, who was playing around in the dirt.

"Are you freakin' serious?! You're the dumbest shit I know!" Marcus yelled.

"What? I'm trying to share my elements with you guys, so that we all have something," Kazu said.

"That's really generous, but I think we're all fine," Kari stuttered.

"Do what you want buddy, but just know I'm taking your supplies when you kill yourself," Marcus put his hands on his hips.

"Bah! That's not gonna happen," Kazu sneered.

"I should probably move on ahead, but what's going on?" Rika asked.

"This could finally be the destruction of Kazu," Marcus whispered.

"I think he's doing witchcraft...," Kari nervously looked at Kazu.

"I saw this on TV, so it has to work!" Kazu grinned. He drew a huge circle in the dirt, and then drew a triangle inside the circle. "I will now place these crystals equidistant to each other," he pulled the crystals out of his pocket. "Next thing I do is close my eyes, meditate, and believe in the power of the crystals. The element of steel, thunder, water, wood, and darkness! Combine yourselves into one!" Kazu clapped his hands.

The earth began to shake and trees randomly popped up from the ground. Rain suddenly appeared and it began to heavily downpour. The raindrops fell to the ground and instantly turned into steel ball bearings.

"Ow ow owww!"

Without warning, the sky quickly grew darker and darker and thunder crackled loudly into the sky.

"Kazu, I'd kill you but I can't see anything!" Marcus growled.

"You idiot!" Rika yelled.

*BOOM*

"Ahhh!"

"Kari, are you okay?" Marcus yelled.

"Actually, that was me..."

"Figures it would be Kazu," Rika growled.

"I'm scared," Kari shuddered.

"Just remember, if we die, it's all Kazu's fault!" Marcus said.

"What did I do?" Kazu squeaked.

*BOOM*

"Whoaaaaa!"

"We're all goners!"

To Be Continued...