Twenty Nine

Jane stared at the popcorn ceiling as she hugged her body pillow. It was just another wasted day. And to be frank, she didn't give a damn. Her back ached, but she didn't give a damn. Her stomach growled and yet again, she didn't give a damn. She ran out of fucks to give. She'd been awake for nearly three hours and lost, again, the desire to do the things that needed to get done. Her thoughts continued to drown her to the point of exhaustion. Then, at the corner of her room, a feint tune clouded in her suitcase.

"What the hell?" she looked at her work phone to check if it was ringing. It didn't. It remained black and still. "I don't remember bringing another…"

She got up and followed the melody. Slowly it registered to Jane that…

"Shit!" she yelled out loud. "Where the hell is it?" Crap! When did I put it in my bag? She threw the contents of her luggage everywhere until the melody became clear. It's been a while since I've heard you. Underneath the last shirt, she reached for the phone and took a moment with it.

In her hands, she held the phone she left with four years ago. She smiled as another memory tranced her mind.

"Maur, come on! I've been doing this since forever!" Jane said.

"I still don't understand why you don't want to have a full term contract."

"That's exactly it! It's a contract and I'm probably not going to use all those apps and data and all that crap! Jane stared at the smart phones. "I don't want any of these!"

"Can we at least compromise?" Maura asked. She pointed at the iPhone. "Look at this. It's prepaid and it's…an up to date phone." She looked at Jane's phone. "It's not a flip phone with an antenna."

"Why are you laughing? This phone has been working great since it came out!" she waved the phone in front of Maura's face. "Please Maura! Just let me keep this one. I want a personal phone and another one for work. But just let me keep this one! Please?"

The phone lasted all these years. It lasted throughout high school, the police academy, hell, it even met Maura. It was only when she became a detective, did she receive a smart phone, and that strictly remained her work phone. It was when she left Boston did she carry the old fashioned phone.

She remembered all too vividly how she left her gun, badge, and work phone. The only form of communication she had was that old phone. And it was on its last few days of its contract. But her fourth day in Florida, she was off the grid.

On a whim, Jane suddenly activated the phone again, after four years of it being discontinued. She reactivated it days before finding out about the whole De Guzman case fiasco. Since then, it had been ignored…until now.

She flipped the screen.

"Who the hell has this number?" No one in Florida knew the existence of the phone. She thought about it. "Who the hell is texting me?" she didn't recognize the number, but the message read:

"Meet me at the Sweat Box. 12 noon sharp. Don't be late." She read it multiple times. "Sweat Box. Why does that sound familiar?" The phone number still remained unfamiliar. "It's probably some crazy ass Bostonian waiting to beat the shit outta me." She looked at the clock. Quickly making up her mind, she changed her clothes while thinking about the text. Sweat Box. Sweat Box. Jane hit her head multiple times, as if it would make the answer come faster. Then, it actually did hit her as she slit on a new shirt. Aw for fucks sake. That's where Frankie and I trained while I was at the academy.

"Someone does want to beat the crap outta me." She murmured while slipping on her pants. "What if it's Doyle?" she asked the walls before saying quietly, "No one hurts his daughter. Me included." She grabbed her keys and left for the car, wondering who the hell this mystery person is.

ˣˣ

The Sweat Box hadn't changed at all. In fact, it looked exactly how Jane left in it her academy years. Looking at the entrance, she recalled the times when she and Frankie came here to blow off steam. Frankie would be her live dummy and unfortunately for him, he often came home more sore than deserved. Another thing Jane remembered was the gym hours. They were open all day except for lunch, which lasts from twelve to one thirty.

Now why would mystery man want to meet during lunch?

She drove to the back and parked her car. Even the lot was empty, eventually causing Jane to conclude that no one would be inside. She got out, scouted the area, and went to the back entrance. The doorknob was still the old false iron knob from many years ago. She wiggled it and felt it unlock.

"What the hell?" she whispered. Despite the lack of wow factor of the entire building, as she recalled, the Sweat Box has one of the best security systems. Having a door unlocked and the alarm shut off wasn't a forgetful fit at the store. Instead, it was intended to be unlocked. It was intended that the alarm was off and that the parking would be deserted. Most of all, it was intended that the meeting would take place during lunch. Someone wanted her here alone. Jane opened the door as quiet as possible, but the door squealed. She pushed the door to the wall and entered the semi lit room.

"Nothing's changed." Jane said. The punching bags, jump ropes, speed bags, and protective gear remained in its respective areas. She smiled at each item, again, remembering her times here. She walked towards the bulletin where all the latest events and champions were posted. New faces held certain titles. She remembered when her own face hogged the women's division and ultimately, the males. She'd been the feared boxer in all of Boston, up until she became a full-fledged detective. Work consumed most if not all her time, eventually causing her to be revoked from her titles. Yet despite its 50 year old reign, nobody had beaten Jane's record of sixty four knock outs to this day. Well, at least that's what Jane assumed, since tradition was that the record holder would have their photo next to the bulletin. But no one's picture was next to it. And neither was Jane's.

She turned around to face the ring itself. It had sweat and blood steins all over it and she imagined all the steins she caused herself. Next to the ring, a single plastic fold out table blocked the path to the main punching bag area. However, on it laid a full set of gear. Jane took a closer look. In front of the gloves, a note read:

Locker room is by the back entrance.

"Mystery man really wants to fight huh?" Jane asked…nothing. She looked at the outfit individually. The pants, sleeveless top, shoes, socks, and gloves was all her size. "Mystery man knows my sizes, huh?" Fucking creepy. She looked at the top once more and was disgusted by the fact that it would show her arms. Mystery man's going to see…Jane looked at her scars. "Whatever." She hugged all the items and left for the locker room.

She exited the room and checked outside for any cars. Nothing. Thirty minutes since she arrived and no had showed up. Frustrated, she returned ring side and leaned against the post and while she waited, she looked at the contents of the entire building.

12:30 became 12:45 and slowly 1:00. By then, Jane leaned against the ring, her body facing the front entrance. She watched the cars and people pass by through the bottom quarter of the window, hoping someone would stop and enter. But again, no one stopped. No one even slowed down. Boredom and agitation crumpled Jane. She got up and entered the ring. She stood in the center and glanced at the banners above her. She made a 180 degrees turn when the back entrance door creaked. Jane watched the dark figure.

"Why the hell did I not turn the lights on?" she watched the silhouette open and close the door. From what Jane could see, mystery man was actually mystery woman and this mystery woman was already in her athletic attire. She held onto the gloves and walked towards the ring. Jane squinted her eyes. The woman stepped out from the shadows and all of a sudden, Jane's knees buckled.

"Maura," she whispered. Jane's eyes dried from the lack of blinking. Her heart pressure lowered and only stared. Maura looked at Jane, only once, as she made her way towards the ring, with her chin up.

She's the one who texted me. Maura climbed through the ropes and as she walked towards the center of the ring, she slipped on her gloves. Jane had no idea what to do. Are we going to fight? Here? Now? Without heels, Maura was forced to look up at Jane. Fear settled in Jane's eyes. Maura tried to remain as stoic as possible. She took a step back and saw Jane watch her every move. In the end, however, Jane did not expect what she was getting.

The first punch buzzed Jane in the forehead. Her vision had blurred and struggled to make eye contact with Maura again. Maura's hands were in fighting stance – the very stance Jane taught her many years ago.

"Aren't you going to fight back?" Maura asked. The question pierces Jane harder than the punch itself.

I can't punch her. When Jane didn't respond, Maura continued.

"Fine…if you're not going to fight," she stepped forward, "then you're going to listen." Punch. "Do you know what it's like to be left at a hospital," Punch. "With two newborns? I spent almost three weeks and every day, I waited for you to come back." Jab. Jab. "I spent the next four years raising our kids." Maura pinned Jane at the corner. Punch. Punch. "Up until their second birthday, I gave up. I gave up waiting for you." Jane's eyes were red from the tears she tried to hold in. She still hadn't fought back. "I tried to forget about you." Another punch to the temples. "But I couldn't. How could I? Johnny is you in every single way." Tears began to fall from Maura's eyes. "Eventually, we all gave up. We stopped mentioning your name." Maura continued to cycle the ring, throwing in blind punches through her watery eyes. "We hid your existence…from the kids before they started…" Jab. Jab. Hook. "asking questions." The punches came one after the other, like the end of a fireworks shows. "Nothing was ever okay, no matter how hard I tried to pretend. I wanted to leave Boston, my job, everything! I wanted to go some place that didn't have some sort of memory attached to you. But I couldn't." Maura stopped punching. She stood in front of Jane, head down. Her energy had been spent and all that was left, were the things left unsaid.

Jane huffed and continued to stand her guard. She was surprised by the strong energy bursts from Maura. Has she always been this good? Her entire head throbbed as did her sides. She hadn't had a beating like this since…forever. But Maura continued to cry with her head down. She wanted so badly to comfort her, but Jane had to remind herself that she cause of all this.

Maura's face was no further than two inches from Jane. She sniffled her tears until she could speak again.

"Everything was becoming more manageable." Maura spoke softly. "I thought…I thought if I could last the first four years, I could go on forever." She cupped her face. "But they started asking questions…and I had no answers. They started to ask about you." Jane wiped her own face. "I could never speak directly about you. They…they never asked why they never had a dad. But Tanner," Maura cried harder as she said his name. "He stepped up. And…" Jane clenched her fists. "They asked about their last name…and…and…." Maura grew breathless. Even for a detective, Jane noticed that Maura's breathing had grown towards an unsafe route. Before Jane knew it, Maura was on the floor, passed out.

Jane stood still. She hadn't even grasped the words that were thrown at her. It was all a blur, yet somehow, the tears meant something. She cried because she finally understood the full extent of her actions; the pain she caused – and this was only one person But right now, Jane's dazed attention was on Maura, who grew pale as the seconds passed. She did the usual protocol. Check for pulse, try and wake her up, and so on. She touched Maura's skin, which, if touches could kill, Jane would have died on spot. Maura was as soft as she could remember. However, her body was tense, almost rigid in fact. Jane kneeled down, carried Maura into her arms, put her hand, slowly on Maura's cheek, and rubbed her thumb against her skin. She stared into Maura's eyelids, eyebrows, her entire face, and with her other hand; she brushed Maura's hair off to the side and couldn't help but to gaze upon her.

Jane's mind set changed once she realized again how cold Maura's skin felt. She wiped the sweat off her face and looked at Maura again, mainly because she couldn't help it. She attempted to wake Maura, shook her as gently as possible. But Maura only limped breathlessly in reply. A that point, Jane knew his mishap was out of her hands, and not even her brief emergency medical training could help in the situation. She carried Maura towards the end of the ring. And again, the touch was so fierce, so passionate, yes so strangely foreign. Jane slid out of the ring before carrying Maura towards the parking lot. Her head dangled against Jane's arm. It reminded Jane of a blissful memory back in their dating days. Maura had consumed more alcohol than anticipated, causing Jane to drive and carry Maura back to her apartment.

Jane kicked the back door open. Her car was still out there and next to it, was Maura's Prius.

She never sold it. The weight of Maura on Jane's arms didn't bother her, but the fact that Maura still had…their… Prius nearly knocked Jane on the floor. She hesitated as she stepped closer to the car, contemplating which to take. She looked at the Prius then to the unmarked car and the back to the Prius before puffing in a deep breath and walked to the Prius.

Jane's biceps bulged as she stepped down from the stairs and placed a hand on Maura's car door handle. She wedged it open.

Jeez. You still don't lock your doors.

She put Maura in the passenger seat, attached her seatbelt, and ran to the driver's seat.

Thank fucking God I don't need a key to start this damn car. She adjusted the mirrors and stopped when she looked at Maura, again.

"Craaaap, where do you live?" The hospital was out of the picture. Being there would cause an unwanted commotion. She looked at the dashboard and her eyes trailed off to the side. "Oh duh! GPS!" She pounded the screen, clicked on home, and waited impatiently. Once the GPS found its route, Jane stared at the screen.

She didn't move either. Jane dropped her jaw. She looked back at Maura and repeated, "You never moved." She put her hands back on the wheel, stepped on the brakes, and look back. She stopped and stared at the back seats. Two car seats settled on both end of the door. It was clear who sat where. Johnny on the left and Arissa on the other side.

Another thought hit her. Simple the sight of Arissa's car seat pushed the fact that she was…is…the mother of two kids. More thoughts infested her head as she picture all four of them together in this very car. They would be this cute family going out for a simple day at the park. They could be in the same position in the car and she imagined constantly looking at the rear view mirror, just to check on the kids. At this point, she didn't need a GPS…because, why would she need directions to their home, well…Maura's home.

The drive was nerve wracking. No. The whole fact that Jane was still in Boston wracked all her nerves. But the drive to Maura's home made the top of the list. Everything looked the same. The trees; pavement; weather; neighbors, everything! The only thing that did change was people aged. People grew up and babies were born.

She pulled up on the sidewalk and looked at…their…house. Like the rest of the neighborhood, the house hadn't changed. Not even the crack at the edge of the brick wall that Jane was supposed to fix had changed. It's exactly how she left it.

Maura was still passed out. Her head rested against the window and her skin began to warm up. But with no one telling her what to do, she mustered up the confidence and got out of the car. Running to the other side, she opened the door, quickly catching Maura's head, and lifted her into her arms.

"Okay." She slammed the door shut and huffed. "All I'm going to do is put you on the couch and a wet towel on your forehead. Then I'll be gone." She continued up the porch and noticed how uneven the grass had grown. She could even see the little footprints on the dirt. Off to the side, a small container with worms settled beneath the bush. Jane smiled slightly and wondered just how many things Arissa had in common with Maura.

Almost there…

She wondered if anyone had spotted them. The possibility only made Jane walk faster. She heard voices; the sound of laughter, murmuring, and shushing, behind the door. It was Angela.

"Maura!" It was definitely Angela. "You're back already!" she continued to speak. "You scared us off and-." The door opened and Angela's voice came to a silence. Jane could see her reflection in her mother's eyes. Sheer panic dwelled inside Jane.

"It's not what you think it is," she said as she quickly guided the unconscious body of Maura towards Angela.

"Frankie! Come here!" she called out. Her eyes lacked anger and resentment, but it bore a puddle of confusion. Angela allowed the entire weight of Maura to glide onto her. Jane caught a quick glimpse of their house. It looked the same, except only a little messier and more it had more toys. When she heard Frankie come from the kitchen, she let go of Maura, grasping any last touches she could get, kept her head down, and disappeared into the neighborhood.

"What is it ma?" he asked before he saw the full image. "What happened to her? How did she get here?" he kneeled down and took full support of Maura.

Angela continued to look out the door. "Jane…Jane brought her here…in her car."

"What?! Did she hurt Maura?" he carried her into the living room.

"I don't know. I just looked at Jane…and she said that it's not what we think it is."

"Well, what the hell are we supposed to think? She disappears and come back to their own house while Maura's knocked out."

Angela wondered off into a haze. The questions multiplied in her head and she allowed herself to run on autopilot. She found herself on the couch and wondered what happened between the two.

ˣˣ

Jane was now without a car in a city that wants to destroy her. She grasped both arms, shielding the scars from the sunlight and anyone's vision. Crowds began to pile everywhere. The whispers grew loud and the stares and glares were erupting.

A man hollered from the intersection and said, "Get outta here! You're not wanted here!"

Another man chipped in, "You're the worst thing that ever happened in Boston!"

Jane only kept her head down even as the crowds began to burst her bubble. Then, an angry mob surged all across the streets. The comments became louder, more harsh.

"Detective Jane Rizzoli? The face of Boston? Yeah, my ass! Those headlines are long gone now!"

Then, someone in the crowd shouted," Back off! Don't even plan on stepping another foot near her, homie!"

Jane picked up her head and met everyone's eyes, trying to find the voice.

"Hey! Playa, don't even open your mouth!"

Is that-?

A man appeared in front of Jane.

"Mmmm…man, Vanilla! I never thought I'd see your fine end again!" he said before turning to the crowd. "Ey, back off!" Rondo guided Jane out of the crowds – out of her misery – and stopped at a nearby alley.

"Wait here," Rondo said. He walked into the door, leaving Jane feeling vulnerable in the ghetto. The wind was colder and it was most likely dirty. Rats and cockroaches ran behind dumpsters and into pipes. Trash was scattered everywhere and seemed to storm up a hurricane. Graffiti faded in the moldy cement work. Even without a dead body present, this place was scarier than most crime scenes.

Rondo returned with a glass of orange juice and a sandwich. He handed them over to Jane and sat down on the steps, next to her.

"Vanilla, you cold?" he asked.

"Nah…" she drank from the cup. "Why are you doing this? Are you helping the needy?"

"I always got my Vanilla's back." he said proudly.

Jane smiled.

"Where ya been? I find my homie one night and he says you went off to whereeva' you went off to."

She didn't expect to have this conversation with Rondo, out of all people.

"Alright…You don't gotta answer me." He replied seriously.

"Whose place is this?" Jane asked. The sandwich was a godly one. She bit into it and tasted all the layers.

"Mine and a bunch of other brotha's. Fella's got it together and got Rondo here a job. Now I'm helpin' them out."

"You're a good man, Rondo. Even before…er, before everything. I knew you have a good heart. Where do you work at?"

"Whereva' I can find one. Mainly at the shelter. Gotta get them out the streets. Don't want them playas livin' their life like Rondo here. You know, Angela helps me out too."

"With what?" she replied quickly.

"Feeds me and the Guardians when she can. Sometimes, she even helps fine Rondo here with rent…but a man's gotta stand on his own feet. I'll be right back."

He got up and entered the house. Jane drank the last of her drink and watched pedestrians walk by. She wondered how close Rondo has gotten with…everyone. Then the door swung open.

"Vanilla, I know it…" his tone turn pure solemn. "I know it ain't in my place to ask, but playa be proud to know good people." He handed a picture to Jane. "Rondo here was at their birthday. Every year in fact. Your lady…erm…Maura and Angela are always treating poor Rondo with new clothes."

The picture was of Rondo and the two kids. And he was telling the truth. He was present at their birthday. She took a good look at her kids…yes…her kids. She compared each picture to one another, looking at how they've grown.

"They call me Uncle Rondo." He said. "Neva been proud to have such a title, until now."

"I didn't see you…last week." I was there-."

"I know, Vanilla." He replied. "Rondo here came after you left. Homies dropped me off late. But I was there." He looked at Jane. "You got yourself some good kids."

She looked at the pictures for the last time and handed them over to Rondo. She simple nodded and got up.

"Where you goin' Vanilla?"

"It's been a long day," she said.

"You can't go back out there! Let Rondo take you…home."

She began to walk. "Rondo, I lost my home when I left."

He watched Jane walk out of the alley and into the streets of Boston. The detective he once knew was lost in a black hole filled with self destruction. Though his kind heart wanted so desperately to run after Jane and commence the Rondo charm, the pain he saw in her eyes as she walked away caused an unwanted understanding in his heart. And he knew right then and there that Vanilla was her own blackhole.