Lyrics: Relient K - Let It All Out
Chapter 29: Doubts
It was early in the morning when Dia walked on the path down to the shack. She was going to thank Kurt for giving her those blueberries the day before. She was in the white skirt and the green shirt again. A soft wind blew against her. It was Fall 1 and the rainy season was not expected to hit until Fall 10.
The brothers had already begun to chop wood. The stack grew larger and larger with each working day. Kurt paused as he saw Dia's figure come closer. "Oh, great…" He muttered sarcastically.
"Good morning!" Dia said as she stopped in front of the brothers. "I just came by to thank you Kurt for those blueberries. You spoil me too much!" She chuckled as she cast an innocent glance at Kurt. Kurt was surprised to see that she didn't leave after that, mainly because he was hoping for her to leave after that. "Can you come to the Villa after your work, Kurt?"
"I," He was unable to say no to her, "will come. See you then."
"Bye!" She said as she waved. She slowly walked on the path where she disappeared out of Kurt's sight.
Joe nudged Kurt playfully before they got back to work.
---------------------------------------
He knocked on the door of the Villa.
Gina answered it and said, "She is upstairs in the practice room."
Kurt assumed that the "practice room" was the room with the piano. He opened the door and saw Dia twirling on one foot. She was practicing ballet. When she saw Kurt she stopped and tip toed over to him gracefully. "It's so nice to see you, Kurt." She showed him a wide grin.
"Dia, I have something I need to talk to you about." Kurt said in a serious tone. His body language was rigid and somewhat anxious.
And today I will trust you with the confidence of a man who's never known defeat, but tomorrow upon hearing what I did, I will stare at you in disbelief.
She lightly grabbed one of his hands with both of hers. In almost a whisper she said, "What is it?"
I'll try my best to just forget that that man isn't me.
"Us." He said bluntly. "We can't go on pretending. Soon we'll move to different areas and we'll never see each other again. The closer we get, the more pain it will cause us when we must leave each other." He could not look at her.
I know that this will hurt, but if I don't break your heart then things will just get worse. If the burden seems too much to bear, remember the end will justify the pain it took to get us there.
"I can see it in your face that you regret what you just said. First of all, who put that idea in your head?" She asked plainly.
"As if that matters now." Kurt muttered.
"Kurt," Her eyes stared into his with much intensity, "I can take the pain. The fact that we will be parting soon is all the more reason to spend time together."
Kurt withdrew his hand from hers. "I need some time…alone to figure things out."
"You mean to figure yourself out." Her voice was cold. "Fine, go waste your time doubting yourself." She turned around, her back facing Kurt. "As if what I feel matters now. When did you become so selfish?"
And you promised me (that you believe) in time I will defeat this because somewhere in me, there is strength.
Kurt's mouth hung slightly open as he stood in shock. 'She…how?' He reached out and placed a hand on her delicate shoulder. "I'm doing this for your good, Dia."
She shrugged her shoulders and walked out of Kurt's reach. "Why must there be so much confusion? Was it not for both of our own good that we spent time together before? We were aware that our friendship would end. Why all of this now?"
I know that this will hurt.
'Friendship?' Kurt could not decide whether or not that was a good thing. "I thought that it would be for our best if-"
"Stop thinking. The more you think the more you seem to get wrapped up in consequences that never happen. Just stop it."
"And yet you don't think enough about the consequences of actions. You should think more." He spoke harshly to the poor maiden. She did not respond. He spoke up again in that harsh tone, "I can't take this, Dia. I hardly know who I am anymore. Give me time to sort all of this out!"
Oh, inconsistent me crying out for consistency.
She faced him once more and asked softly, "Will you come back?"
He looked away from her. "I doubt I will."
Her eyes welled with tears. Slowly they started to leak out of her eyelids and stream down her face. He wouldn't dare to look at her. All he thought was, 'She would have been in more pain if we stayed together.' He left the room in a swift move leaving the upset Dia alone. All at once he felt a burden leave his shoulders and a new one crashing down where the old one was.
Tomorrow upon hearing what I did, I will stare at you in disbelief.
Dia sat down in the piano chair and rested her face in her hands. She sniffled a few times as the tears continued to flow. She cursed herself under her breath. "Why did I have to open my big mouth?"
