Alice grabbed her purse on the way out and then shut the door behind her. She made sure to slam it a bit for good measure. As she started down the hall, she heard the door open behind her. Sighing, she stopped as Arizona called her name.

"What?" Alice asked, not turning around.

"Alice...go get her." Arizona said encouragingly. Alice didn't have to turn around to know that she was using a super magic smile, because she felt the corners of her own mouth turning upwards.

"Thanks." Alice said, starting forward again. She focused her mind on the task at hand; her super terrifying date.

Alice hurried out of the apartment building to the bus stop. She arrived just in time to catch the bus. She climbed on, handed the bus driver the fare, and then sat in the back. She had 4 stops until she got up, giving her plenty of time to battle with her inner panic.

As Alice's stop drew nearer and nearer, she felt her heart begin to race. What if Anna didn't want someone who had never been with a girl before? Or what if Alice's past was too dark for her. Not to mention she'd pretty much have to explain everything due to the scars all over her body.

Finally, the bus stopped outside of the restaurant and opened its doors. Alice got up from her seat and exited the bus, stepping down onto the street. She took a deep breath and walked through the doors, into the restaurant.

Anna was waiting just inside the doors. "Hey!" She smiled at her. "They've got a table ready for us." Anna told her. "Awesome." Alice cringed inwardly. Awesome? So riviting it was unreal. She cursed her nerves.

They sat down and ordered drinks and starters. Anna struck up the conversation. "So, where do you go to school?" She asked.

"Uhm, I used to go to Cardinal Carters, but I've been taking online classes. Grade 10 stuff. You?" She scrambled to avoid any questions that would lead to the reason why she wasn't in school.

"I've been wanting to take classes online, but my parents insist I stay in public school." Anna replied, rolling her eyes. Alice chuckled.

"Listen, Anna, I'm going to be honest about this. I've never dated a girl. Hell, I've never even thought about it." Alice admitted, also keeping the conversation from questions that could force her to admit anything about her past.

"Well there's a first time for everything right? I'm just happy I got to you before any of the other girls did." Anna smiled. Alice sighed and felt herself start to relax. This wasn't nearly as stressful as she thought it was going to be.

"Me too. Even though I didn't exactly make the smoothest first impression. I mean, dumping coffee on someone isn't normally how I flirt." Alice said, feeling her stomach flip when Anna's laugh rang out in the full restaurant.

"So it wasn't part of your master plan to get my number?" Anna asked, taking a sip of her drink, which the waiter had just brought.

"Sadly, no. It was just me being a klutz." Alice replied, chuckling a bit.

"Well, you're a pretty damn sexy klutz, I must say." Anna said, causing Alice to nearly choke when she took a drink.

"Is that so?" Alice asked, after recovering. Anna nodded and winked.

Soon, their waiter returned to take their orders, and both girls filled the waiting time with casual conversation. Alice found herself to be the most comfortable she had felt in a very long time. Her father, the scars, Lexie, everything was off of her mind. The food was great, she was at ease, and Anna was...amazing. Finally, the two girls finished their dinner and the check came. Anna insisted on paying, and though Alice protested, she secretly found it adorable.

Eventually, the two girls made their way out of the restaurant and stood on the sidewalk. Alice could see Arizona and Callie's car across the parking lot, and knew she would have to leave soon. Sighing, she turned back to Anna and smiled. Before she knew what was happening, her lips found themselves pressed against Anna's with her hands wrapped around her. Alice felt the other girl's hand caress her cheek and surprisingly found that the contact felt good.

The kiss ended, and both girls leaned back. Alice struggled to catch her breath and Anna smiled. "I'll text you later." The teenager told her, giving her a peck on the cheek before walking away. Alice took a couple seconds to collect herself before starting towards Callie and Arizona's car.

"You kissed her?!" Callie exclaimed as Alice got into the car. Alice looked at her in shock, surprised that she had been seen.

"Yesssss." Alice hissed, embarrassed. The two adults in the front seat giggled.

"So it went good I take it?" Arizona asked as she started the car and pulled out of the parking lot. Alice couldn't help but smile as she nodded.

"I assume there's going to be a second date?" Callie raised an eyebrow and looked in the rearview mirror.

"There better be." Alice replied.

"Judging by the way you two were macking on each other, I'm pretty sure date numero dos will be coming up pretty damn fast." Callie laughed, making Alice blush again.

The car soon arrived at the resident's house and Alice started getting out of the car when Arizona stopped her. The teenager turned to look at her curiously.

"I called Jessica and told her the circumstances. She isn't going to tell Lexie anything. But she did call her while you were on your date and said she'd like to see you. So Lexie scheduled you with her tomorrow." The blonde surgeon said. Alice's face fell, but she nodded.

"Thank you both, for the help." Alice said, before getting out of the car. The two women in the front seats nodded and waved as they pulled away from the curb and drove off.

Alice walked up the porch stairs and entered the house, gripping the bag she had taken her clothes in. She jogged upstairs, finding that her mood had been slightly ruined by the thought of a therapy session tomorrow.


Alice readied herself for the session early that next morning, however begrudgingly. She would go to avoid a fight with Lexie, but she was not in the mood to talk. She was on cloud nine. Her life was finally settling down, and she felt that she no longer needed the help that the psychiatrist so often tried to force on her. She stalled in the atrium, making sure to arrive at the appointment ten minutes late despite Lexie getting to the hospital on time. At 9:10 on the dot, she sauntered in through the open door, latte in hand.

Jessica looked up. Annoyance crossed her face and she started to stand up. Alice waved her off. "Don't bother. This won't take long. I simply came to let you know that these sessions," a look that was a mixture of disgust and contempt crossed her face as she spoke the word bitterly "are done. I don't need you anymore. If you have a problem with this, I'm sure that you can whine about it to Lexie. Oh, no wait. She's too busy being a real doctor as opposed to dividing her time between spouting off bullshit to her desperate patients and doing Starbucks runs. Cheers." Alice said drily, holding up her latte and then spinning on her heal before heading back out of the office, leaving the psychiatrist speechless for once. She slipped into an elevator and hit the close button before Jessica could catch up to her. She leaned against the wall and gave a self-assured smile. Oh yes, she was back and better than ever.

Jessica swore as the elevator door closed. She dodged around a nurse before opening the door that led to the stair well. The psychiatrist sped down the stairs, knowing Alice would be heading towards the main floor.

Alice sighed as the elevator stopped for the second time to let more passengers on. All she wanted was to get out of the damn hospital and enjoy her day. Finally, the doors opened on her floor and she stepped out.

Jessica burst out of the stair well, breathing heavily, just as the elevator opened. She spotted Alice walking out and grabbed her by the arm.

"Jessica, just let me go. There's nothing more you need to do for me." Alice said, almost pleadingly.

"You know there are things I need to help you with." Jessica hissed. Alice's mood darkened.

"I don't need your fucking help." Alice growled, wrenching her arm free.

Jessica yanked Alice back and put a hand to her stomach. The girl gasped and stared at her in shock. Jessica could feel the bandages under her shirt.

"This," Jessica nearly whispered as she put pressure on Alice's abdomen, "this is why you need my help. And if you don't get the hell back into my office, so help me I'll drag you right into Lexie's OR and make you tell her what you're doing straight to her face."

"Good. Cause you aren't going to win this battle, not today. I'm fine. I feel fine, I don't need this today. After everything that has happened, after losing complete control over my life, I have earned the right to make a decision for myself. So today, I'm not coming. And I probably won't be back for weeks, months even. Threaten all you'd like but it won't change my decision. You are a therapist. By law you have no right to force me to do anything. And get your fucking hand off of me. I'm not going to ask twice." Alice glared harshly at her until she withdrew her contact. Alice stepped back and walked out of the hospital, and all Jessica could do was stand and watch because all of what the teen had just said was true.


Now that Alice was out of the hospital, she wasn't quite sure with what to do with herself. It was then that her phone buzzed. She pulled it out of her pocket as she headed down the sidewalk, away from the large building she had just come out of. Anna's name popped up on the screen on her phone and Alice couldn't help but smile. She opened the text, which read: hey beautiful. Whatcha doing?

Alice quickly typed a reply as she dodged pedestrians on the street. Not much, walking around town. You? :)

It only took a minute for Anna to reply; I'm on lunch break at school. You should stop by. Well, now Alice knew what she was doing for the next hour or so. She took the next right and started towards Anna's school.

It took Alice about fifteen minutes to jog to Anna's school. Most of the students were outside, enjoying the sunny day. Alice caught sight of Anna at one of the tables and hurried over to it. She was greeted with a hug and a light kiss, which made her stomach flip.

"Hey." Alice smiled, sitting down next to Anna, who put a hand on her leg.

"Hi. How'd you get here so fast, I didn't see you get dropped off?" The other teenager asked. Alice struggled to think of an answer that wouldn't lead to more explaining.

"I was already nearby when you texted, so I just jogged over." Alice said, hoping she wouldn't be asked where she was. To her relief, she wasn't.

"I see. I only have 15 minutes left, so we won't really get to hang out long." Anna said regretfully, glancing at the clock on her phone.

"Well then maybe we should plan another date if we want to hang out more." Alice winked. Anna chuckled and leaned her head on the other girl's shoulder. Alice found herself more than alright with the contact. In fact, she liked it. A lot.

The next fifteen minutes passed quickly as Alice and Anna planned to go to a movie on Friday. When the bell rang from inside the school, Alice was caught off guard with another kiss before Anna hurried away, into the school building. Alice smiled to herself and started back towards the sidewalk. Just as her feet hit the pavement, her cellphone rang. Alice sighed when she saw it was Arizona.

She promptly hit the ignore button. The phone started ringing again. She ignored two more calls before answering it out of annoyance. "What is it, Arizona?" She snapped.

"Uh, where are you? I was supposed to give you a lift from the hospital like ten minutes ago, remember?" Alice cursed under her breath. She had completely forgotten.

"Uhh, I got caught up in something. I'll be there soon." She hit call end and started in the direction of Seattle Grace, this time sprinting.

She made it back to the hospital in record time, slowing to a walk as she approached Arizona so she wouldn't be so suspicious. Alice realized it was a moot point; Arizona knew about her ditching Jess, she could tell by the look on her face. She was so busted.

"So, where were you actually?" The older blonde wasted no time.

"With Anna. I have my reasons for leaving." Alice replied defensively.

"Yeah, Jessica told me about your 'reasons'." Arizona said.

"Do what you'd like. I however would like to reserve a seat and bring some popcorn when you tell Lexie what you did. Speaking of, when are you going to come out about Anna?" Arizona asked. Alice shrugged.

"Soon, I guess. At least I'll have an explanation of where I went after." She replied

"Well, I guess I should get it over with." Alice said, starting into the hospital. Arizona frowned and hurried after her.

"Whoa, whoa, whoa. I didn't mean you had to do it right this instant." The blonde doctor said. Alice shrugged but stopped walking.

"What time does her shift end?" The teenager asked, following Arizona out to her car.

"I don't know. It's a long one, I think." Alice said as she stepped into the little BMW. "Lexie's place, or mine?" Arizona interrupted her.

"Lexie's, please. I've got some schoolwork to catch up on." Alice pulled a face.

"Ha, wait until you have to do paperwork. Paperwork is worse than school stuff, I guarantee it." It was Arizona's turn to make a face.

The car ride was silent for a few minutes. Finally, Alice spoke up. "How...how do I tell her?" She asked uncertainly.

"Tell her about the cutting or Anna?" Arizona asked.

"Both." Alice replied quietly. Arizona thought for a couple of seconds before she answered.

"I say, tell her about Anna first, because after you tell her about your cutting, you're both going to be pretty emotional. Just say 'Lexie...I've been dating someone and that someone is a girl', or something along those lines." Arizona suggested. Alice nodded.

"And the cutting?" The teenager said, turning to look out the window.

"As for that, you're going to figure out how you want to say it. I can't tell you how to tell her that." Arizona replied.

"Yeah well we can't all be perfect kid savin', wheelie rockin' angels in scrubs Arizona. I'm trying here." Alice retorted. Arizona's reproachful look disappeared. Alice hopped out of the now still vehicle, leaving Arizona in her silence. Alice let herself into the house.

"Hey, I'm back." She called out to no one in particular. Alex answered from somewhere upstairs. Both the time on the wall and the empty void in Alice's stomach informed her that it was lunchtime. She threw together a sandwich and glanced wistfully at the TV before heading with her lunch to her room to finish the schoolwork that she had put off. The seemingly endless projects took nearly six hours to finish, but alas Alice switched her computer off and shoved away from her desk, brain fried.

She sank down onto her bed and sighed with relief. The endless pile of work was finished. Her mind drifted off to thoughts of Anna, but her daydreaming was soon interrupted by the sound of the door opening. Lexie was home, and it was time to tell her. Alice's stomach churned with nerves. She couldn't decide if the confession about cutting, or coming out was making her feel this way. She reluctantly got off of her bed and left the safety of her bedroom and headed down the stairs.

"Hey." Alice said softly when she saw Lexie. The surgeon glanced over at her, and Alice watched as her face shifted into a mask of frustration and resignation.

"Hi. I heard from a less than pleased Jessica that you ditched your session earlier today." Lexie's tone was not amused. Alice glared at her, and then gave a sidelong glance at April who was in the kitchen. She didn't exactly feel like having a battle in front of someone else.

"Then I assume she also told you my reasons for doing so, which by the way are completely valid, so I don't expect to get a hassle over this. Drop it Lexie. I'm right this time." Alice replied firmly. The older girl gave her a look of disbelief before turning around and striding out of the kitchen.

Perfect, Alice thought, just how this night should start. She glanced over at April who was shaking her head. "Oh, don't even go there. I'm right." Alice rolled her eyes and snagged a carrot stick off of her plate as she passed, leaving April to protest to the wall.

"Lexie. Lexie!" Alice hurried after her and up the stairs.

"What now, Alice?" She sounded hassled.

"I left because I'm taking back the control over my life. I'm done with drinking, I'm done with drugs. I don't need someone dictating what I do, and uncovering the past that I'm trying to move on from week after week." Alice watched as Lexie's look softened. She couldn't argue with reason. "You know I'm right on this. So support me on it. Just because I'm not falling apart anymore doesn't mean I don't need you."

Lexie nodded. "Fine. Just be sure of what you're doing, alright?" Lexie responded.

"Absolutely." The teen nodded vigorously. "Since we're on the topic of changes and being in control of my own decisions, I have something else I need to say." Alice chewed nervously on her lip. Lexie looked at her warily.

"Alright, um, holy shit I don't know how to say this. Okay...I've been seeing someone lately. And that someone...and her name is Anna." Alice stumbled through, feeling her heart beat rise. She waited anxiously for a reaction.

"Oh! Well, that's a new one. I've got to say, I thought you were all for the shaggy stoners..." Lexie teased. Alice stuck her tongue out and swatted at her.

"Please. I'm so over Chip. Besides, it turns out guys aren't half the kissers, or the company, as the girls." Alice added in a sudden burst of confidence that was brought on by Lexie's causal acceptance.

"I will back that one up one hundred percent." Callie appeared at the bottom of the staircase. "Appetizers are ready." She added with a wink and then headed to the kitchen.

Lexie and Alice both made their way toward the kitchen, smelling the delicious aroma that the food gave off. Arizona and Callie were some of the best cooks they knew, and it was always nice to not have to worry about dinner for once. Lexie and Alice sat beside each other at the table and Callie and Arizona joined them soon, with plates of good looking food.

Alice was at ease for half of the dinner, joining in on the conversations and honestly enjoying herself. But about halfway through, she remembered that she still had to tell Lexie about the cutting. Suddenly, her appetite was gone, but she continued eating solely on the fact she didn't want Lexie to think something was wrong.

Alice made eye contact with Arizona, who was looking at her almost sympathetically. Alice suddenly put down her fork and knife, then opened her mouth. "Lexie, there's something else I need to tell you." Alice blurted out. Arizona and Callie both shot her surprised looks.

"Okay? Um, do you want to go somewhere more private?" Lexie asked, not liking tone in Alice's voice.

"Actually, Arizona and Callie already know." Alice admitted, refusing to look at either of the adults.

"They do?" Lexie's eyebrows rose as she looked back and forth between Callie and Arizona, who both nodded.

"Lexie, I've been cutting again." Alice forced out. The doctor's eyes rose and she glanced at the other two doctors.

"Upstairs, now." Lexie kept her voice low as she stood up from the table. Alice felt her heart jump, but she reluctantly followed Lexie out of the kitchen and up the stairs. Arizona and Callie exchanged worried looks.
Alice heard Lexie slam the door behind her, and then forced herself to turn around.

"Why didn't you tell me first? And sooner!" It was obvious that Lexie was ticked. Alice struggled to answer.

"I didn't mean for them to find out. Arizona saw the cuts when I went over there before I went out to dinner that one night." She replied. Lexie didn't seem any less mad.

"If you're still struggling with this, then you had no right to walk out on Jessica." So that's why Lexie was so pissed.

"Look, Lexie. I came to you for help, not to get yelled at!" Alice said, starting to turn back to the stairs.

"You want help? Go back to Jessica! This is exactly why you needed her in the first place! I can help you some, but she's is the one to go for this!" Lexie's voice rose in frustration.

"It's not that easy Lexie! It's not some magic fix! You don't understand self-harm if you think that a few therapy sessions is the solution!" Lexie's eyes darkened.

"I understand all right. You're making the conscious decision to damage your body every time you pick up the knife! No one is forcing you to do this! Just stop for god's sake!" Lexie's voice was now a shout.

"No, Lexie! It's not that simple! You know what, screw this. I trusted you not to flip out, and you've done just that! Why is it that you're the only one who can't be reasonable about this?!" Alice matched her tone. Their voices carried out through the entire house.

"Because this isn't something you can reason and deal with! It can't happen!" She shot back. Alice threw her hands up in frustration.

"Fine! If you can't deal with it, I'll find someone else who can." Alice's voice was venomous. She stormed out of the room and down the stairs, out to the porch. The voices of the talking adults were audible, but not clear to Alice. A few minutes later, Callie came out and sat on the porch step beside the teenage girl. "Pack your bags." She said quietly.

"What?" Alice asked in disbelief.

"You heard me. You're going to come stay with us for a few nights, until things cool off." Alice nodded.

"Thanks." She murmured and quickly headed inside to gather her stuff.

Alice got up from the porch step and went back into the house. She hurried up the stairs and grabbed the duffel bag she always kept under her bed. In a couple of minutes, Alice had packed everything she needed and walked quickly down the stairs. She came face to face with Lexie.

Alice averted her gaze from Lexie's angry one and waited for the woman to say something. But the doctor just shook her head and walked away. Alice bit back tears and walked out the door, slamming it behind her.

Alice sat in the car silently watching the porch. The door opened and Callie and Arizona stepped out. Lexie was standing in the doorway. They were talking, but she couldn't make out the muffled voices. They conversed for another ten minutes before Lexie gave a little wave and closed the door. Alice quickly tried to brush away the tears that she had finally allowed to fall.

"You okay?" Callie asked, getting in the driver's seat. She turned around to look at the teenager. Alice simply shrugged and kept her gaze locked on the floor.

"Alice, it'll be okay." Arizona assured her, looking in the rearview mirror. Alice didn't reply.
Callie turned around and started the car, pulling away from the curb quickly. She knew Alice would just want to get to the apartment and be alone, but had something else in mind. She knew Alice wouldn't exactly be stable after what had happened. They would need to keep their eye on her, at least until she went to bed.

The car arrived at Callie and Arizona's apartment complex and came to a stop. Alice was the first one out of the car, slinging her bag over her shoulder as she walked. Both doctors hurried after her.
Alice kept her pace quick and stopped outside of the doctors' door several moments before Callie and Arizona did. She waited for them to unlock the door and then slipped in. The teenager made a bee-line towards the guest room before Callie stopped her.

Alice turned around at the calling of her name and looked at Callie tiredly. Her eyes were red, but she had managed to wipe her face of emotion.

"What?" Alice's voice cracked as she waited for an explanation.

"Don't shut yourself in. We're not going to ask you to talk or anything, just come out and sit with us. We'll put in a movie or something." Callie said, hoping the teen would oblige. Surprisingly, Alice dropped her bag on the floor and nodded.

"Doesn't matter what movie, you guys can pick." She mumbled from within the cupboard where she was searching for the chocolate chips. She could hear the two adults bickering over the movie choice. She found the bag of chocolate long before they decided, but hid in the cupboard to avoid being the swing vote. As she shifted buckets and boxes back into their respectful places, she noticed that there were some bottles in the back. Alice pushed the sugar and flour aside, and smiled at what she saw. Several bottles of liquor lined the back of the cabinet, including Alice's personal favorite; tequila- a learned habit from Lexie. She quickly re-arranged the items to hide her find, making a mental note of the cupboard for later on.

As Alice sat down on the couch, she attempted to keep the booze out of her mind. Arizona wrapped an arm around her, and for once, Alice didn't protest. She leaned up against the blonde doctor and stared at the TV, wondering what Lexie was doing, and also how she was going to get the liquor out of the cabinet.


Lexie wiped at the tears on her face and blew her nose. She hadn't been able to stop the sobbing since the moment the door had shut behind Callie and Arizona. The surgeon got up from the couch and made her way into the kitchen, where she found her phone charging on the counter. Lexie quickly dialed Mark's number. He answered on the third ring. The man immediately knew something was wrong when Lexie once again burst into tears.

"Lex! Lexie, tell me what's wrong! Are you hurt?"

"A-Alice" Was all the surgeon could sob out.

"Alice? Is she hurt? Lex, what's going on?"

"W-we got in a fight, a-and-" Lexie's sentence broke off as her emotions took over again.

"Hey, I'll be over as fast as I can. It's going to be alright." Mark said. Lexie managed to get a 'uh-huh' out and hung up.

15 minutes later, Mark had arrived at the resident house and took Lexie in his arms. She had managed to pull herself together some, and was able to tell him the whole story. The younger woman could tell he was upset as well, but he hid it better than she had been able to. The two adults eventually crawled into bed together, forgetting that they both had early shifts tomorrow, and fell asleep.


As the movie played on, Alice's plan of hitting up the alcohol seemed less and less ideal. If Lexie was upset over her cutting, she couldn't even bear to imagine her reaction over her relapsing and turning to drinking again.

Alice watched the screen with a numb disinterest for a while. The movie bored her but kept her mind off of the fight with Lexie. She shifted on the couch and stretched out, eventually giving in and resting her head in Arizona's lap. She pushed the events of earlier out of her mind and fell asleep.

Hey guys, sorry the update took so long. Hope to see some reviews!