New Twilight
Chapter 29
A Whole New James Potter
Lily's life had become one jumbled up mess; it was as if she'd fallen into a mud pit. She had sunk down to the bottom, able to breathe, but unable to get herself out of it. Her emotions kept going from one extreme to the other. James had taken time off work, but he was always away. She didn't even know where he went, he wasn't speaking to her. Every time he came home, she was so happy to see him yet terrified. She feared he was starting divorce proceedings. He was never home for lunch or dinner; she'd stopped cooking for him because it was just wasted.
The worst thing, of all her son and daughter had yet to write to them. It was well into the school year, yet they hadn't. She had expected Vi to get in touch, even if it was only to demand answers. Now her children weren't talking to her, her husband was not talking to her, still sleeping in the spare bedroom, and her life was at an all time low. All because of something that had happened sixteen years ago. Why couldn't they understand Harry was better off in the world he belonged in?
She truly believed Harry was better off away from them, in a world he felt comfortable in. Petunia had hated her so much, from eight years old to this day, just because she had a gift Petunia envied. Petunia had wanted to be a Witch like her; she had begged Dumbledore to allow her to attend. Unfortunately rejection hadn't sat well with Petunia. Instead she'd turned bitter and angry, even towards their parents. Although petunia had reconciled with her parents before their deaths. Petunia though had never so much as tried to contact her. She knew nothing of her sister, other than the fact she had a seventeen year old son. Petunia had gotten pregnant at the same time as her, but she was unaware of anything else other than that.
She hadn't wanted to raise Harry and Troy in that environment. If she had delved a little deeper into her feelings, she'd have realized she felt superior to her son. She had magic and he didn't, he was a hindrance to her new life. Another part of her had given him up for the sole fact of keeping James. She felt he would have left her if she'd kept a squib son. Confirmed by the fact that James had immediately agreed to get rid of him when she brought it up.
Lily had suggested giving him up, put him into foster care, find a new family for him. Harry was young enough; he'd have found a new family quickly. She knew parents who couldn't conceive wanted adopted children young. The younger the better in their cases.
Unfortunately James hadn't been amendable to that idea; instead he searched high and low for a Muggle who'd want a baby to raise, and in turn offered them a substantial amount of money. Rebecca had been the one James decided on, she herself actually had wizardry in her family line. Not that the girl knew, James never imparted that knowledge on her either. Rebecca only knew that they were different, magical other than that she knew nothing. She did know how to get in touch with them, in emergency she was to use an owl, conveniently forgetting Muggles didn't keep owls. He had told her to give it to any post office and they'd pick it up there. Nothing had ever come, she visited him when needed. Now he was at an age he didn't need money, presents of their visits. She's convinced James to send him overseas, using the Muggle murderer and the fact that their son would be leaving Hogwarts soon. The consequences' of them somehow accidentally bumping into one another.
Of course James had listened, and bought him a house, which had been substantially expensive. Even by their means, but James had always been that way. He ignored her advice of getting him a flat, but at least she had won the round of having him moved to America. No more visits, no more worry and she thought for the first time in sixteen years, she could put the past behind her. Forget about Harry and her failures once and for all. Not failure as a mother unfortunately, no failure in producing a squib.
Lily was selfish, and for the first time, James was beginning to see his wife for what and who she really was. Lily had got big headed when she learned she was a Witch. Different from her family, special. She began to think she was destined for greater things. She soaked up all knowledge about her new world, determined to prove her worth.
It had started when Severus called her a Mudblood. It had made her feel seven years old again, just the same as everyone else, not special. She had never forgiven him, and then she watched others began dating and finding love. Some arranged marriages, some just finding lover early. Like Molly Prewitt, she married Arthur Weasley. When James began paying even more attention to her, when she wasn't with Severus all the time. Adored and revelled in the looks of shock, anger and indignation from the pureblood community. The Potters were one of the purest names, along with the Malfoy line and Black family.
Unfortunately it wasn't anymore, yet most people chose to ignore the fact that she was Muggle Born. Or they had forgotten, and that's the way Lily had wanted it. Giving birth to a squib, made Lily fear that James would annul their marriage and marry a pureblood who'd give him a 'proper Pureblood' child. Thankfully though Troy had magic, getting rid of Harry had made everything, almost go back to normal. Or so she thought, Lily should have realized it wasn't that easy to forget.
"James?" called Lily upon hearing the familiar sound of her husband Apparating into the Manor. When Troy was born, they'd moved into Potter Manor, wanting out of the public lie to help their lives.
As normal James ignored his wife, the urge to drink was strong. Unfortunately he didn't want to succumb to drinking to block it out. He deserved the torture he was going through, he'd given his son away. He didn't deserve to drink away the memories, dull them in any way. He'd taken to hiding away in Godric's Hollow, after retrieving the box of Harry's things he'd stashed away in his vault. Now he spent his days, looking over pictures, torturing himself on what might have been. He'd brought it on himself, he'd agreed to it as much as Lily had. The need to jump on the first plane and see his son, apologize was very wrong. The urge continued to get stronger by the day. He knew he was too weak to withstand the rejection. In his mind he continued to hear everything over and over again.
"Oh," said Remus. "It's okay; it's not the worst thing in the world guys. He'll be fine, it's not as if he's been bitten by a werewolf."
"You'll regret this one day James, it will come back and bite you in the arse when you least expect it." said Sirius.
"So you just thought 'Since I've got another I'll just abandon him?" asked Troy his disgust evident.
"The guy you keep going on about being a slimy Slytherin is ten times better than you," said Troy angrily.
James' heart jerked painfully as those words continued to haunt him. He'd always had a good relationship with Troy. To hear him say that, Merlin Troy might as well have stabbed him. It would have been less painful; nothing could help those bitter words. Even if they were spoken in anger, Troy was telling him how he felt.
"Tabby, Severus' daughter doesn't have magic, she's a squib," said Gellert.
Why hadn't he cared like Snape had? Why hadn't he kept his son? Why had he been so quick to want to get rid of him? Why? Swallowing thickly, tears running down his face, he continued to hear the voices in his mind.
"I never want to speak to you ever again, either of you!" snapped Troy.
His son had stuck to his words so far, he'd not heard from him yet, not even his daughter had written.
"Now that's more like it," said Troy revelling in his father's broken look.
James flinched, he'd been so young and stupid, so spoiled and more concerned about the family name. Merlin his parents would have killed him if had been alive for what he did. They'd had him late in life, trying and failing repeatedly to have a child. He'd been cherished and loved. He had no doubt his parents wouldn't have cared if their grandson was a squib.
"He's not happy! I wrote to him he doesn't even know how to feel about us writing to him!" snapped Troy. "If he doesn't want anything to do with me - then I want nothing to do with you!"
Merlin it probably made the situation worse that they'd found out on their own. It by means wouldn't have helped, but it did make the situation worse. Even his son and daughter didn't care that their brother had no magic. Had he kept them from being brothers and sister? Had he destroyed his relationship with all his children by his actions? He'd been a nineteen year old boy, only in Auror training.
"I'll be fine, I always am." said Harry staring at them no emotion showing on his handsome face. It cut into James heart seeing his son so distant, when Troy and Violet were always so open and happy. Had he caused this?
"Take care of yourself," said Lily softly.
"Will I ever see ya again?" asked Harry. James felt an odd sucker punch to the gut by Harry's question. He didn't even seem bothered about the answer. He just seemed impatient to leave; it occurred to him for the first time that Harry didn't care. Even worse…that Harry had never called them mum or dad…for many years.
"We aren't sure," said James his voice pensive staring at Lily curiously…wondering if he actually would see his child again.
"Right, well, I gotta get goin' I have a plane to catch, it won't wait even fur me…" said Harry clearing his throat.
"Goodbye Harry," said Lily softly.
Merlin Harry was gorgeous, a blend of himself and Lily, he was probably the best looking of them all. Who would have thought it? When he was a baby he'd been a wrinkly little prune. He thought with agonizing pride, he hadn't cared though. He'd proudly shown his son of to the world. He was bitter through, at least with them. He closed eyes and thought deeply, when was the last time his son had called him dad?
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Harry jumped up and down; he knew his other mum and dad would be here soon. He was so excited to see them again; he didn't see them very often. He grinned excitedly as soon as they came, in that special magical way they did. He wasn't supposed to talk about it though, unfortunately. He'd promised them and he'd keep it, even his other mum Rebecca told him it was important not to tell.
"Hey squirt," said James, noticing the big gap in Harry's teeth, his baby teeth had fallen out. He could see one of his adult teeth coming in; he hugged his son close relishing the contact. He didn't get to see his son often, it was his own doing but it would just hurt Harry and himself more if he started coming around two often.
"Happy birthday Harry," said Lily a strained smile on her face, her firstborn son had just turned six years old. Her second born son had just turned five. Harry was in Muggle primary school, had been an entire year. Troy was due to start getting private lessons by a tutor soon. All pureblood children were home taught. Looking around the house, she tutted before removing her wand and flicking it. It began cleaning the place up. Rebecca should keep the place tidier. She didn't want Harry to grow up into a ragamuffin.
"Hey dad," grinned Harry, "I got a new computer today! Come see!" pulling his dad through to his room. Showing off his brand new console, frowning when James just stared at it curiously. Why wasn't he smiling? Or saying anything? A strange smile appeared on his face.
"That's nice; did you have a good day?" James asked his son.
"It was fun," nodded Harry he'd had a party.
"Good," said James satisfied, sitting down on Harry's bed watching his son with a pensive look on his face.
"Will I ever come live with you?" asked Harry quietly sitting on the floor, staring with innocent curiosity at his father. He couldn't understand why he didn't live with them and had to stay with Rebecca.
Too bad Harry hadn't remained that way.
"I don't think so son," said James after a few minutes of silence.
"Why?" asked Harry, as if he was asking why the sky was blue, not why he didn't live with his birth parents.
"Because you belong here, you don't belong in my world, you aren't the same as me…do you understand?" asked James lifting the six year old onto his lap. This boy didn't feel like his son, it didn't even help that he was almost the exact copy of Troy. Or rather Troy looked exactly like him.
"No," said Harry truthfully, his cute little button nose wrinkling in confusion wondering what his father meant.
"You will some day, do you not like Rebecca?" asked James.
"I do, she's the best-est!" claimed Harry nodding his head eagerly.
"Good," said James his small concern evaporating and a knot forming in his stomach at that. His son shouldn't be saying Rebecca was the best; it should be him and Lily. He was jealous and he didn't like it.
"I have something for you," said James, bringing out a picture of himself, Lily, Troy and Violet. He gave it to his son that night.
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That had been the last day his son called him dad, father or any variation of name concerning his title. Had his son realized that early on why he'd been left there? He couldn't say for sure. What he did know was that had been the last time his son had been excited to see him. Sure he'd always been awake waiting on them, but he never begged them to stay, called them by their names never asked any questions. He'd been so young, James though to himself.
A broken sob tore through his lips; his entire world was being turned upside down. He hated how calm his wife was, how she didn't seem affected by all this. Just concerned about their relationship. She really didn't care about Harry at all; if that was the case did she even care about Troy and Violet? Was she merely putting on a front counting down the days till they were out of the manor? Merlin life was so horrific, for once though he was going to be father. He was going to be a man. He was going to apologize to his son.
Next chapter Harry learns potions :D goes to school and Edward and Harry talk as to Jasper and Edward ;) did you like how close i had edward and Jasper in the previous chapters? is there another youd like to see him confide in? such as Rosalie or someone? will James really go or chicken out? will it be his siblings he meets first? will they leave school during the year to see him alerting james to the fact they are missing...and immediately suspecting where they were? or will he fear for his children unaware of where they were? R&R PLEASE! and im sorry its taken so long to update but hey its been done now XD
