Lucy woke up to notice a cloudy sky. Checking the time, she's surprised to realize it's already eleven. The dark clouds threatening rainfall gave an illusion of night. Lucy rose from the hotel bed and fixed herself a cup of tea. Sitting on the couch in her pj's was heavenly. Perhaps she should be out on the job, but today just didn't seem like a day worth stressing.

Lucy stared at the trees as they swayed in the breeze. They truly were fascinating with their multiple colours. Every time a light gust of wind would hit, leaves would break free from their branch and dance before they descend. Autumn was Lucy's favourite season.

The four seasons represent life. Spring; the beginning, a fresh start, growing. Summer; experiencing life, joy, the prime. Autumn; old age, dying, reflecting. Winter; death. Winter also could stand for resurrection, since we head right back into Spring. Lucy's favourite season is Autumn, because that's where she feels she is in her life. Dying on the inside, and reflecting what her life was and what more it could have been.

A smile spreads across Lucy's cheeks. Natsu had given her Spring and Summer... But now he's given her Autumn. So does that mean soon Winter will come and they will become winter? Dead? Even if that's the case and Natsu gives up on her, Lucy will forever be grateful. Before she was with Natsu she was already in the winter phase.

But winter is beautiful. It's the holidays and the holidays are meant to be shared with those you love. What is it like to spend a winter with someone you love? To defy all the odds and not die? All good things come to an end... But why? They only come to an end when people let it. When you become so tired you stop trying. Or maybe you feel like you've been so happy you don't deserve more.

Who said you don't? There's all these questions that should have a definite answer to them but all you can ever do is assume. Why shouldn't you deserve more when you've worked hard all your life to finally get it? Even in weak moments we push through, we live on. We're still alive. We're here.

Every breeze coming in through the window reassures Lucy that yes, she's alive. Sudden rain and crackling thunder begin. Even through this cold pain that forever dwells in her chest she knows she's strong. She made it this far. Too far to just give up. She's been through hell, so what can happen to her that can be worse?

Feeling a sudden surge of determination, Lucy raises to her feet. She proudly states, "I want Natsu back."


"Why the heck did you leave your window open during the storm?!" Yuna proclaims. She shuts the blinds of the window and sits down next to Lucy's bed, offering the blonde a hot mug of tea. "Wasn't it a bit obvious you'd get sick?"

Lucy pulls the blanket over her nose and shakes her head at the tea. "How did you find me anyway?"

"Well you didn't come to run my lines with me for the billionth time, so I asked Natsu what hotel room number you guys were staying in." Yuna explains, setting the mug down on the night table. The room fills with silence or a few seconds before Yuna continues. "He seemed kind of worried. I mean it looked like you were having really bad migraines yesterday."

"I was." Lucy states. As if on cue, she can feel a slight tang in her head. Lucy scrunches her eyes and holds her head. "On second thought Yuna, I'll take that tea. But can you bring me the blue potion from the kitchen?"

Yuna nods and retrieves the potion. Lucy slowly moves into a sitting position and reaches for the mug. Taking the potion, Lucy pours a few droplets of it into the tea. She chugs down the contents of the mug, grateful for the scorching liquid. Once she's done, already the pain is gone. Exhaustion takes over and Lucy snuggles back into her blankets. Feeling curious, Lucy asks, "So... What were you saying about Natsu?"

Yuna stares hard at Lucy. "Are you guys going to get back together or not? Because obviously you two care about each other a lot."

"Obviously not since he decided to rent another room." Lucy retorts. "This one was on the house, but he did it just to be separated from me. Even though I was about to move to your apartment anyway. He's the one being difficult."

"That's just Natsu. And I know you want to be with him, it's all over your face."

It's true. Lucy wanted Natsu to be under the sheets with her warming her up instead of these stupid blankets that make it hard for her to breathe. Lucy shuts her eyes and imagines it. A small smile spreads onto her face but is quickly diminished when realization sets in.

Yuna crouches down and says softly, "Can't you be the first one to say sorry? I can see how badly this is taking a toll on you... I hate seeing you two like this."

Lucy sighs. "I can't. I just—I can't."

"Why?"

How does one explain their insecurities without sounding... petty? Even if Lucy could describe in detail all the reasons she's insecure and all the things she's insecure about, whoever is listening will always say, "But you're amazing! You're beautiful! Don't let anyone tell you any different!" It's just the standard response. They're so tired of you they won't even come up with something original.

And you know you're bothering them. You're getting on their nerve. You sound pathetic and they don't really care. They can't handle you. They don't want to handle you. Because they don't understand what it feels like to be so emotionally drained you mentally and physically can't do anything. And you hate yourself so much.

Lucy narrows her eyes at Yuna. "Have you ever been rejected?"

"No, why?" Yuna responds in confusion.

What Lucy wants to say is, "Because I've been rejected my whole life. And it sucks. But I have to deal with not being wanted. Yeah, Natsu is the only one who saw something in me, but now he's gone too and I don't have the confidence to make the first move because I'm afraid of being rejected by the only person who hasn't rejected me yet."

For the sake of Yuna who has been doing nothing but trying to help, Lucy keeps her mouth shut.

After a while Lucy sighs. "I think I'm going to go to bed if that's okay with you. I'm just so tired..."

Yuna nods and gives Lucy a sad smile before shutting off the lights and exiting.


In her dreams she hears the voice again. "Maybe the moon didn't work... But perhaps a fall on the head will?"

Lucy bolts upright in bed from the falling sensation. Her hands feel tingly and she's finally figured it out. She knows who said it.


"Hurry up! Hurry up! Curtain call is in ten minutes! It's the opening premiere and if any of you mess this up I will personally cut your throats!" Jasmine threatens as she hastily checks off items on her clipboard. "Yuna! Why are you just sitting there! Hurry up and get ready for your cue!"

Yuna jumps up, following the orders. She moves away from Jasmine and to Natsu, who's learning how to pull the curtains open and shut. Yuna leans on the wall. "I'm gonna barf."

"You'll do great." Natsu says a bit remotely. His eyes are roaming the entire scene. At the crowd who are taking their seats, to the backstage crew. Any sign of suspicious activity and Natsu was ready to pounce. He leans his head in Yuna's direction and asks, "Where's Lucy? She should be here."

"She got sick yesterday, remember? That's why she's been missing." Yuna replies. "I visited her and she should be fine. She's still getting a few headaches but she's taking a potion for it. Her condition is bad, Natsu, and I think that's due to stress. Why can't you two just make up already?"

Natsu glares at Yuna. "I know you're trying to help your friend, but it's not that simple."

"And why is that? Why should it be so difficult just to apologize and forgive one another?! It's clear how much you two love each other! I can't stress that enough!" Yuna snaps. "I can't just leave you two broken like this. Not when you two are meant to be together."

"Maybe we're not meant to be together okay!" Natsu shouts.

Silence.

Yuna opens her mouth and says, "Wow."

"How's it going back here?" The owner woman, Eleanor Shizuka asks. She seems stressed and a bit nervous, but there's a smile across her face. It's clear she's too worried about the show to sense the tense atmosphere. "I want to make sure there's no funny business and the show runs smoothly as planned."

"Everything's fine, Mrs. Shizuka. Is your husband able to make the premiere?" Yuna speaks in a stiff voice.

Mrs. Shizuka smiles. "No, but I'll make sure to give him a play-by-play when he gets back. Thanks for all the hard work. I'll see you up on the stage! Good luck!"

After Mrs. Shizuka leaves, Yuna gives Natsu a death glare. "You don't deserve Lucy."

"You think I don't know that? You think I think of myself as all mighty and above others? Do you think that I don't love Lucy?" Natsu questions, feeling his anger fire him up. "Because I do. I love her more than I love myself. I love her more than anything. I'd give up anything to be with her. How can I ever deserve someone who's stronger than me? Who has gone through so much and yet is so compassionate? Someone like her doesn't exist in this world. It will only ever be her. So no, I don't deserve someone as wonderful and beautiful as Lucy, but you know what else I don't deserve? Being judged by someone who needs to mind their own business!

"I'm hurting too, Yuna. Do you not see that? I hate hearing that Lucy's sick and I can't be there with her to make her feel better but what can I do? I hate that she's hurting because of me. All I ever wanted was to see her smile, to finally allow her to feel safe and happy. I know it wasn't all her fault but she went into there alone. It was inevitable a guy like that would do something like that to her. She hurt me too... I just wish she had more faith in me." Natsu rants, tears streaming down his face.

Yuna smiles slightly. "That's all you need to say to her to fix this, you know. She'll take you back in a heartbeat and I know you'll do the same."

"EVERYONE GET IN YOUR POSITIONS RIGHT NOW!" Jasmine shouts. Yuna scrambles away, getting into position. Jasmine looks at Natsu. Ignoring his tears, she orders, "Open the curtains."

Natsu pulls on the ropes and the crowd hushes down.

"Wait!" A strained voice calls. Jasmine and Natsu look over to see a pale Lucy, panting and holding onto the wall for support. "The saboteur! She's—huh, huh—here!"

But it's too late.


A/N: I told you I'd upload a chapter this month! :D Are you guys loving the Autumn spirit or what? It actually just snowed today, so my bad, I'm a bit late. Whatever. :P

So the whole community thing! I hope you guys all join the community Fake Smilers. I wrote a "fic" under another account and posted it into the community. It's going to be a place to share thoughts and have conversations. Remember to listen to others, and don't be afraid to share your own story. Our community is a place of understanding! We already have 18 subscribers to the community and 5 staff members. Contact me by PMing me if you want to be a staff member.

Thank you guys all once again. You gays are the people making me smile. :) (and it's not a fake one ;) )

So who do you think is the saboteur? ;) Review!