AN: For those of you who mentioned getting a little teary at other chapters: hold on to your tissue boxes, this is going to be a bumpy ride.


The Heart of Matters

Molly didn't know how long she had been curled up on the sofa crying, now lying on her side rather than sitting. She stopped though, when she heard a familiar voice from the doorway.

"John thinks you are suffering from post-traumatic stress disorder, but that's not why you're crying now, and I doubt that's why you have been miserable all day either." Sherlock said softly. Molly's head snapped up to see him standing just inside the flat, looking at her with a truly sorry expression.

She shook her head, pushing herself upright and trying to control the tears.

"You heard me and John talking from inside the bathroom, that's why you couldn't look at me when you came out. Did you hear me telling him then that I would go to Lestrade? You did seem genuinely surprised when I mentioned it again at the table." Sherlock deduced. His eyes stared into hers like he was reading the answers straight from her soul, as he moved closer, taking a seat opposite her.

Molly shook her head.

"What did you hear?" He asked, his tone was carefully neutral, while his eyes communicated his concern.

"It was all just repaying your debt to me for saving you. Is that why you found it so easy to just leave without saying goodbye? Because your debt is paid now?" Molly said quietly, unable to look Sherlock in the face as she did.

Sherlock gently put his fingers under her chin, lifting her face to him as he answered. "It wasn't just repaying a debt. And as for leaving, I was coming back. I didn't want Mrs Hudson to have to hear I was alive by some 3rd party. She deserved to find out from me, so I wanted to make sure she did before the news caught on to what was happening. And now I'm back."

"But for how long?" Molly whispered, her eyes swimming.

"Just to get my things and say a proper thank you and goodbye." Sherlock said, with a sorry smile.

Molly burst into tears again, throwing her arms around his shoulders and holding him tightly.

"I don't want you to go!" She sobbed.

Sherlock allowed her a brief hug, rubbing her back, before pulling away.

"It's not the end of the world, Molly. You won't have seen the last at me. Once I'm back on the case I'm sure you'll see plenty of me at Barts. And I'm sure I speak for both John and Mrs Hudson as well when I say you will be welcome at 221b any time. You've been a good friend to all of us." He said warmly, one hand still on her shoulder.

Molly shook her head slightly. "That's not what I want, Sherlock. I want to be more than friends."

Sherlock pulled his hand back, shaking his head as he stood "Molly we've been through this. I am married to my work, I am not interested in-"

"No." Molly cut him off. She stood to match him, although her shorter stature made the gesture less impressive. "No, I don't believe you Sherlock. All your excuses; they're all lies. Lies you tell yourself and others to cover up the fact that you are simply too scared to let yourself love anyone."

Sherlock's head tilted back slightly; the only outward sign he'd allow that she had surprised him with her deductions. "Love is a weakness. Sentiment is chemical defect found in the losing side. It is a distraction from what is important." He said coldly. "Perhaps if I hadn't allowed myself to be distracted by sentiment I would have been able stop those men ever taking you. Any time I allow myself to get distracted by a woman it only leads to trouble. I should have learnt my lesson last time."

Molly felt her temper rising at his stubbornness "You mean with that Adler woman? You can't base your judgements on women on what happened with her! She… she was a piece of work, she was a manipulative, unscrupulous, deceitful, self-centred-"

"That's enough!" Sherlock snapped. His eyes were wide with hurt and anger. "I will not allow you to talk about her like that."

Molly flinched at his harsh rebuttal. She shook slightly, terrified to be on the receiving end of his anger. She took a deep breath, softening her speech. "Okay, I'm sorry. I understand, your feelings for her were very strong, and she hurt you. But you'll never get over her if you never let anyone else show you how good it can be to be loved by someone who truly cares for you."

"I don't need to get over her, I am over her!" Sherlock insisted "She is just a reminder to me of what I already knew. All lives end, all hearts are broken. Caring is not an advantage!" He quoted what his brother had told him.

Molly simply stared at him for a moment, seeing through him as she weighed his words carefully before choosing her answer.

"You're right, Sherlock. Caring does come with its disadvantages. But that doesn't mean you are immune to it. Why else would you jump off a building to save the lives of those you knew, if not because you cared about them? There was never a guarantee you'd survive."

Sherlock stiffened. "It was one life for three. It was the only right thing to do." He said blankly.

"Okay. But when you came to me for help, you suspected something similar, but you thought it was just John. One life for another, a fair trade. Would you still have jumped?"

Sherlock's jaw tightened, a crack showing in his resolve. "Yes."

"What if it was me?" Molly asked in a small voice, her heart in her mouth. She knew she was setting herself up for a potentially painful answer, but she had come to far not to continue.

"Yes." Sherlock's voice had dropped an octave as he said it. His hands were shaking faintly and his face was struggling to remain impassive.

"You see?" Molly asked in breathless relief "You do care. You care just enough to let it hurt you, for it to be a disadvantage, yet you don't allow yourself to care enough to enjoy the benefits. How is that logical?"

Sherlock was speechless. His arms fell down to his side, his whole body frozen in the shock. His expression was empty, his eyes staring blankly through her as though he had retreated into his mind. Molly waited with bated breath for him to come out of his trance, but he didn't. Instead he walked almost mechanically from the flat without a word. Molly sighed. He hadn't rejected her reasoning, therefore she could only assume he was going to think about it. She would just have to wait. He'd be back anyway; he had left empty handed again, and would have to come back for his laptop and other stuff.


AN: Thanks for all the comments yesterday, was greatly appreciated. You can stop begging for an extension now though, I already said yes. :P