*Barrel's POV*
I got back to my base, and slammed the door so hard, a potion glass fell off the shelf. It hit against the ground, and shattered...just like my heart did. Not knowing what to do, I paced the room with angry strides. I was so frustrated - I took good care of Gonzales and Mayo, and they go out and betray me...while I was standing right there!
As I paced, a tear ran down my cheek. I wiped it away angrily. "Don't you dare start crying, Barrel!," I yelled at myself, my voice cracking twice. "Only weak guys cry. You're tough...you're brave!" That didn't help at all; it just made me even more sad. I exploded into loud sobs, tears running down my cheeks. The last time I cried this hard was when Barry died, so I knew that I was pretty upset without even having to think.
Feeling like I had nothing left, I got into my "comfort position." I dropped to a squat, buried my face in my hands, and rested my elbows on my knees. It was over. I took care of Mayo like a son, and Gonzales like my very close brother. They were gone. Not only did I miss them, but I wouldn't have anyone to pour my feelings out onto. I had to keep everything bottled inside of me.
That's when something popped into my head. "It's a dream," I told myself through sobs. "It's all just a bad, bad dream. All ya gotta do is wake up, and it'll be all over. It'll be all done." I reached into my shirt, and under my arm. I gave my armpit a pinch, making sure to twist the skin so hard it turned red.
It was painful. It hurt, and very uncomfortable. However, no matter how hard I pinched, I wasn't wakin' up. Everything was all real. I was really all alone. I buried my face in his hands, and cried harder than I already was. "I wish it was a dream!"
I felt like a weakling. I felt like such a baby. But my heart...it was sore! It beat with pain and it really hurt. It might've had a black and blue bruise right in the middle of it. My heart was shattered, and I was a wreck. Pain traveled through every single vein, and it hurt.
It was a thunderous pain. I didn't like it at all, and wanted it to stop. Standing up, I went over to my potion supply. I surfed through all the vials and found my vial of Soothe Potion - the same kind I used to help stop the hurt and calm him down when Mayo was attacked.
I got a syringe, and filled it all the way to the top with the potion. I paced a little bit, and stopped in the middle of the room. I shook my left arm out of the sleeve, and stuck it out in front of me. Tensing the arm and holding my breath, I held the needle high above my bicep. With a tiny bit of hesitation, I stabbed my arm, and pushed the plunger down.
The was a sharp pain for a few short seconds. Then it faded, I started to feel calm. As blood streamed down from the wound, and under my armpit, onto the floor, and down the rest of my arm, I began feeling very good. Happy, almost.
The whole room began fading into a sky blue light. My heart pounded so hard inside my chest it was sore. I had reached paradise. I fell to the ground with the needle still halfway out of my arm, and closed my eyes.
