Chapter 16
Memory
Alex stood in front of Voldemort's dead body. Tears streaked her face. No one said anything. She spun around beginning to run from the Entrance Hall. She was stopped by someone grabbing her arm. She spun around and saw no one. Her hand shot out and grasped fabric. She pulled the invisibility cloak off Harry.
"He lied to me," she whispered. "He said you wouldn't die. What was I supposed to think when they said you had?"
"Why did you step in to fight him?" Harry asked.
"Well, I thought you were dead."
She backed away from him and turned to run. Her path was blocked by Aurors. Mad-Eye Moody walked up to her, wand on her.
"What did you mean by that?" he growled. "'I didn't think I could kill my own father.' What did that mean?"
"Alex," Tonks said, "war is hard on everyone. To admit something that isn't true. We understand what you must be going through."
"No, you don't," Alex snapped. "No one does. It doesn't matter. I'm tired of it, tired of the hiding behind myself, tired of being ashamed of what I am. I may not like it, but it's better than having nothing linked to me."
"We can help you, Alex. We can do whatever you ask."
"Like you did earlier? No thank you. I swore to him to do everything in my power for you. When you don't listen it makes that request hard to fulfill.
"No one seems to understand how hard some people's lives can be. I have a friend who never knew his parents. He was raised by his grandmother. He always heard how brave him parents were, what great people they were. He never knew them, not really. He knew very few things. They loved him. They died fighting. They died to make the world a better place. They died back to back. They were shunned from the Wizarding World because his father was a werewolf.
"Before I left, he had one request, he wanted his parents. I gave that to him."
"If his parents are dead," Remus asked, "how can you give him that request?"
"The same way I did everything else. I was in the way. I did the same thing I did with everyone else, Sirius, Mad-Eye Moody, Ted Tonks, Collin, Remus, Tonks, Fred. I was in the way."
"You seem to be in the way a lot," Moody said skeptically.
"Good thing, too, or they'd all be dead."
Moody laughed, but stopped when Alex's face didn't change.
"So you knew who was being targeted?"
"No, I knew what was going to happen. I don't know what would be easier anymore, to let you be skeptical of me or to tell you the truth and have you not believe me. I mean, I don't even have to stay anymore. Voldemort is dead, I'm born, and I gave Teddy his parents. I just don't know if I have a home to go back to. I changed so much."
"Alex," Luna said, "tell them. I want you to stay."
"I don't know if I'm brave enough," Alex whispered. "With the way I was raised, I'll be lucky if I live through the night."
"You've changed since then. You aren't even the same person anymore. Show them."
"Alex, Teddy who?" Hermione said.
"My best friend, the boy who saved me by being what he was, by existing. He's the reason I'm here. If it wasn't for him, you'd all be in for one hell of a future, one with an invincible Dark Lord," she laughed to herself, "Dark Lady."
"What are you talking about?"
"I can show you better than I can tell you."
A silver fog surrounded them, and Alex stepped forward.
A sloping lawn appeared out of the fog. Two children, one boy, one girl ran across it.
"Come on, Teddy," the girl called.
"I'm coming, Alex," he yelled back.
They ran into the house at the other end of the lawn. A blond man walked out of the study.
"Alexandria!" he yelled.
"Uncle," Alex said, "this is my friend. His name is Teddy Lupin."
The man froze as she said the name.
"Alexandria, kill him."
"Why?"
"His father was a werewolf."
"So?"
"You're going to follow your father."
He pointed his wand at Teddy.
"Crucio."
Teddy screamed in pain.
"Crucio."
Alex jumped in front of Teddy.
"Teddy," she screamed, "run."
"What would the Dark Lord think of his daughter protecting a werewolf's brat?"
Teddy's eyes widened in fear. He turned and ran from the house. The man pointed his wand at Alex, and she started struggling for breath. She was lifted off the ground, and she clawed at something unseen at her neck.
"I told you to kill him, Alexandria," the man yelled. "I will not have my niece consorting with those kinds of people."
"Please, Uncle," Alex gasped, "I just wanted a friend."
"And you chose that? If you won't finish him off, I will."
"No, please, Uncle, I won't see him ever again. I swear. I swear it on my father's grave."
"You do not respect him to keep that promise," he roared.
"I swear on my own life, I won't see him again."
He smiled.
"I know you won't, Alexandria. I'm going to kill him."
"NO!" Alex screamed.
A spiral of color spun out from her. He was knocked backward.
"You little, bitch."
Alex pointed at him, and he fell to the ground, dead. Tears streamed down her face. Another man rushed in and tried to stop her, as she ran for the door.
"Crucio!"
She screamed. The flows of color flew out in a bubble around her, destroying the house. It spun back toward the girl's small body, rapping around her in a cocoon. She ran away from the collapsing house. She tripped on an exposed tree root, twisting her ankle and screaming in pain. A dark figure walked toward her as she cowered behind the tree.
A man came into view. She shivered as he towered over her. She looked up at him, but said nothing. He walked closer to her, and her hair changed from brown to purple.
"Are you alright?" he asked quietly.
Alex said nothing.
"Where are your parents?" the man asked, walking closer. "I work at the Ministry. I can help you find them."
"I know who you are," the girl said in a small voice. "You're Harry Potter."
"So, where are your parents?"
"Dead."
His expression showed surprise but understanding.
"Do you need a place to stay?"
She shrugged.
"Okay, come on."
The man helped her to her feet, but she fell into him.
"Is your ankle okay?"
"It hurts."
"I'm not too good at healing anything that might be broken, so we'll go talk to someone who knows about that stuff."
He picked up the girl and Disapparated.
The scene faded and was replaced by another.
There were seven people in a cozy room with a roaring fire. Three were older, two in their mid-twenties, and the last two were Alex and Teddy.
"What is your name?" the youngest woman asked calmly.
The girl said nothing.
"Who do you live with?"
Again, she said nothing.
"How did you break your ankle?"
Alex continued to sit staring at the floor.
"Will you tell me your name?"
The girl shook her head.
"What do you want us to do?"
The girl looked at the woman and said, "I want to help in any way I can."
"What do you mean?"
"I want to help the Order of the Phoenix."
"You might be able to, eventually, but why do you want to help us?"
The girl looked down again. "They wanted me to kill him. They didn't want me to be friends with him. They didn't like him because of his godfather."
"Who are they?"
The girl said nothing, again.
"The Malfoys," Harry said.
Alex looked up at him with sad eyes.
The scene was replaced by another.
Alex sat at a table arms crossed. Harry stood in front of her.
"If you want to help us," he said, "we need you know more about you. You've been here a week and haven't said anything. Teddy won't talk to us either."
"I hate my family," Alex whispered.
"Who are they?"
"You know, Harry Potter. You just don't want to believe it."
"Voldemort?"
"I hate him."
"Why? Most people do, but what makes you case different?"
"Besides the fact that he's my father?" she replied bitterly.
She unfolded her arms and showed him her left forearm, the Dark Mark emblazoned on it.
"I've had it for as long as I can remember."
The next memories flashed by quickly, Sirius's death, Dumbledore's death, the battle with Voldemort, seeing Remus, Tonks, and Fred dead.
Alex was standing in front of Harry.
"What do you want me to change?" Alex asked.
"Anything. You cannot effect your own birth or help my with the mission Dumbledore gives me."
"What mission?"
"You'll know when you get to it."
"I'll try."
Memories flashed by again though first year, second year, third year, fourth year, before settling.
Alex paced in the Forbidden Forest.
"It's your fault," she hissed, "your fault Cedric's dead. You could have stopped it. But you couldn't have gone to that graveyard. You could have screwed everything up. This is only going to get harder. What happens when I actually save someone?"
She sank to the forest floor, racking her hands through her hair, growling to herself.
The memories of fifth and sixth year flashed by before settling on another memory.
Alex was standing by Dumbledore's tomb while the trio talked.
"Alex," Hermione said, "We have to get back to the school."
"He made me swear," Alex whispered as a single tear fell down her cheek.
She quickly brushed it away and turned toward the castle. She shifted into many animals consisting of a turtle, a fish, and a sloth before turning back into a human and running into the Forest.
She fell to her knees, crying.
"Why wouldn't you let me?" she whispered. "I could have saved you. Why did you make me swear?"
The next memory was the night of the ambush.
The red curse rocketed toward George from Snape's wand. Alex spun around and caught the spell in the arm screaming in pain. She fought through it and found Mad-Eye Moody. She dove in front of the Avada Kadavra curse. The spell illuminated Alex's face before in impacted her in the chest. She fell toward the ground before bursting into flames.
More memories from the year appeared, before finally fading into the silvery mist.
Alex sank to the floor. Everyone was watching her.
"I never said anything to anyone," she said, "because telling others means you accept it yourself. I never wanted it to be true. I was fine with being a nobody, a cast off, a not quite pureblood. I didn't want to be anyone powerful, anyone infamous. I wanted to sink into the unknown pile.
"Everyone knows Harry Potter because he didn't die. everyone knows Voldemort, the darkest wizard to ever exist. Everyone knows Lily and James Potter because they were killed when Harry lived. Everyone knows Albus Dumbledore, the only one Voldemort ever feared. Everyone knows Helga Hufflepuff, Rowena Ravenclaw, Godric Gryffindor, and Salazar Slytherin, the founders of the big name magic schools. Everyone knows the ex-convict Sirius Black. Everyone knows Mad-Eye Moody, the best Auror in the world. Everyone knows Hermione Granger and Ron Weasley, Harry Potter's best friends. Everyone knows Ginny Weasley, the girl who captured Harry's heart.
"Then, there's me. People wanted me to be a powerful dark witch. I got known for being the daughter of Bellatrix and Voldemort, the girl who ran from destiny, the girl who ran to Harry Potter, the world class time traveler. I never wanted anything. I didn't want to be a big name. I wanted to sink into the unknown. Now, I'm Alex Matthews, Harry Potter's friend, the one who killed Voldemort, because I thought that Harry was dead, that I had changed too much.
"I was terrified that my past would change, because Harry died. I guess he just didn't tell me that he faked it, that he was a coward."
"I had my reasons for doing it," Harry said.
"I have ceased in caring what you do. I'm done. I'm going home. I can't even imagine how much my life has changed because of this."
Alex walked away, through the crowd.
