Chapter Twenty Nine

Sometimes beginnings aren't so simple
Sometimes goodbye's the only way

And the sun will set for you
The sun will set for you
And the shadow of the day
Will embrace the world in grey
And the sun will set for you

Linkin Park - Shadows of the Day

Mia really did not want to be here. The bar was far too crowded, and full of cops. It was Saturday night and she'd been physically escorted here by Aiden and Sam under the threat that Aiden would knock her out and literally carry her to the bar if she did not go along willingly. Mia had no choice but to comply, hence why she was wedged between Danny and Hawkes, drinking beer and trying to decide whether to move onto shots or stick with her poison of choice.

To her surprise, everyone except Mac and Stella had turned up the bar. The six of them had managed to squeeze into a booth. Someone had slipped money to the bartender so every time the pitcher of beer evaporated another appeared in its place.

The conversation was free flowing. Danny and Flack were arguing about the latest Mets game, whilst the rest of them were listening to Sam tell a story about shooting a perp in the ass. The atmosphere was noisy and boisterous and on the other side of the bar, someone was having a farewell party.

She didn't want to be here, she wanted to be somewhere quiet where she could deal with things on her own. She felt stifled by the bustling atmosphere. There was too much going on.

Mia rose to her feet, muttering the word "bathroom" as she shimmied past Danny and Aiden. The minute she stepped out of the booth she was lost in the crowd of the bar so no one saw her slip out the front door.

It was quieter outside, more mellow. She could breathe in the cool air and she could think.

"You shouldn't be out here without a coat." Patrick said from the opposite side of the exit.

Mia turned to see him lighting up a cigarette, before she tilted her head back towards the moon.

"I'll go back in a minute, I just need a sec." she said, enjoying the coldness that brushed over her skin.

"You're not going back in there." Patrick stated, she turned to look at him surprised as he shrugged off his own jacket.

"You don't know that." Mia reminded him.

"I know you, and I know right now you just wanna be at home, curled up watching whatever movie's on T.V." he told her, draping his coat around her shoulders.

She opened her mouth to protest but found herself interrupted.

"It's the least I can do." he said with a shrug.

Mia sighed deeply, before taking a step forward, she needed to walk this off. She needed to sort through her feelings and see what she was left with.

"I'm leaving the precinct." Patrick said quietly.

Mia stared at him stunned, her lips parted in surprise.

"We can't work around each other, it'll drive me crazy being around you but not being able to actually reach out and touch you." he told her.

Another blow to her heart. Another piece of her breaking. She couldn't stand it anymore. She couldn't stand his closeness. The scent of him on the jacket made her want to give in, and she couldn't do that. It was time to walk away, she couldn't stay here right now. She had to leave right now.

She stepped into the road, oblivious to everything but the tears that were streaming down her face. She heard her name being called. Then shouted. Two voices calling out at the same time. She turned, blinded suddenly by head lights. She heard the roar of the engine in her ears and then the squeal of the breaks.

Hands grabbed her hips, and suddenly she was propelled backwards, her heel hit the curb sending her flat on her back on the concrete. Her body vibrated in pain as she struggled to sit up, her head spinning, trying to understand what happened as the sudden thud erupted in her ears.

She screamed his name as his body took the whole impact of the car. There hadn't been time for him to move, he couldn't even defend himself. His body smashed against the windscreen before rolling off the hood as the car came to a stop.

"Patrick." she whispered.

He lay on his stomach, his large body splayed out across the road. His leg was bent at unnatural angle. Blood was pooling around his head as she crawled over to him, her hand gripping his shirt and shaking him lightly.

"Patrick..." she pleaded. "Patrick, please."

There was no response. His head was tilted away from her, his body was still warm to touch through his shirt. Her hand brushed his throat, she was shaking. Her fingers tried to seek out his pulse. There was talking and shouting behind her. Se couldn't pay attention she had to find his pulse. She moved her fingers over his rough stubble trying to pinpoint the right area.

A familiar voice was talking to her, hands rested on her shoulders drawing her backwards as Hawkes crouched down on the opposite side of Patrick.

"I can't find a pulse." Mia babbled. "I can't find it Hawkes."

She sagged against the person who knelt behind her as Hawkes' expression turned grim and then to one of extreme sorrow as he studied Patrick. She knew, she already knew, but it didn't make the words easier.

"Mia, I'm so sorry, his neck is broken."

She choked. She couldn't breath, couldn't feel, couldn't think. The cry of anguish, didn't sound like her own but it erupted form her mouth. Her whole body lurched towards him, her hands reached for his warm unfeeling body.

Danny's hands gripped her shoulders, guiding her backwards as he stared at O'Malley's body. Mia was wriggled against him, still trying to get to their fallen colleague. There were sirens in the background, Mia as still franticly calling Patrick's name.

He couldn't wrap his head around it. O'Malley had saved her; he'd pulled her out the way of a speeding car. He'd followed Mia after he'd seen her slip out the door, he'd had ring side seats to the whole event. There wasn't a chance in hell he could have made it to the road in time. He'd been too far away. Even when she'd landed at his feet, body scraping agins the pavement he'd found himself frozen in horror as O'Malley's body bounced up onto the bonnet.

His arms wrapped around her as he buried his face in her shoulder. He knew he was selfish. He knew it was sick for him to be glad that it was O'Malley and not her lying breathless on the ground. He inhaled her scent as she finally stopped struggling.

Mia's body shook and quivered as Sam knelt down in front of her friend, taking her hands and blocking the view of Patrick's body.

"He's gone. I'm so sorry Mia, but Patrick is gone." Sam said.

Mia's gaze was drawn to Sam as the words filtered through to her consciousness. The blood drained from her face as Mia felt herself turning numb. Sickness clawed at her stomach a she squeezed Sam's hands tightly.

"I stepped out, Sammie, I didn't even look." she murmured.

The light had died in her eyes. She wasn't seeing anybody now. She was shutting down completely, locking every single emotion and letting the numbness fill her senses. She welcomed it. More than anything she needed it because she couldn't deal with this. Danny was holding onto her, but she couldn't feel the connection between them, she was shutting out everything. Her body was aching, it hurt to move. She tried to raise o her feet and found she couldn't.

"I'm ok." she muttered as Danny helped her to her feet. "I'm ok."

Sam lingered worrisomely, ready to step in.

"I've got her." Danny told the other woman, as Mia clung to him, her gaze on Patrick's broken body.

"He needs his jacket." Mia murmured, pushing it off of her shoulders

Sam nodded her understanding, taking the jacket and crouching beside Patrick. She spread the jacket over his back smoothing it out tenderly.

"I'll take care of her Patrick." She promised.

"We all will." Hawkes confirmed from the opposite side of their colleague's body.

The crowd of cops on the sidewalk parted, Mia didn't feel their eyes on her, she didn't hear the whispers as Danny half carried her into the bar. All she could see was Patrick's smiling face as he lay beside her, his arm propping up his head on the pillow. The numbness was evaporating. Pain ricocheted around her body, her heart wanted to burst because she couldn't comprehend the agony that burned inside her.

He was dead. Sweet, charming, Irish Patrick was lying dead in the street.

Her eyes prickled like someone was stabbing tiny needles in to them.

And by some random twist of fate, she was alive.

Hey guys, just another quick update! We're getting some scorching hot temperatures here so I'm enjoying the heat.

Thankies to Sparkycsi and to all of you reviewers! Let me know what you think about my latest twist.

Delko: lol it's her honest line of thinking, and I wouldn't want to play second fiddle.

Nik: I loved the Izzy and Sam part. lol thanks do much for your kind wordss. He's lovable but in the end he's not strong enough to give her up.

CSINY: lol wait and see. lol what did you think of this?

Hist: lol you got your wish.

Blue: lol on some level I wish that Danny had smacked Patrick.

Sparky: lol I totally agee with you. I would have ended up butting her myself.