Disclaimer: SM owns everything Twilight but I own this story. Thank God for that because I wouldn't be able to make them do stupid shit. They are definitely not LDS in my shit and that's why my story is rated MA. It has adult situations and if you are not a fan of rape talk, anything other than missionary position, or swear words…well then I suggest you read no further hahahahaha.
I am getting this chapter out before the holidays and it will probably be the last one until after the New Year. I MIGHT get another one snuck in, but I highly doubt it. I only get to see my nephews once a year because they live over 2,000 miles away and this year it's during Christmas. YAY!
Your responses to the last chapter had me giggling a lot…Edward not so much. Lol. Sarah loved it and maybe we'll do another one again in the future who knows.
I have to thank Sarah for pre-reading and Jess who quickly made sure I didn't totally screw this up because my beta Mandee was busy with RL. Love ya Mandee
I felt like the story was lagging a bit and going too slow, so I've jumped us forward in a way I hope like hell works. I guess we'll see.
Thank all of you who have just started reading and joined our crazy journey. We are very glad to have you and hope you stick with us. Please forgive me if I don't answer your reviews. I do read each and every one.
Oh and I think I should say one more thing. WARNING: You may be upset with me at the end of this chapter. Just thought I'd warn ya in advance lol.
Merry Christmas and Happy New Year!
Chapter 29:Recovery
BPOV
December 21st
"Place your hand here on the arm of the wheel chair," Joe, my physical therapist said, as he pointed to the arm of the wheelchair closest to the bed. I did as he asked knowing he would just drive me insane if I didn't. Joe had been helping me, for the past couple of days, to adjust as well as building muscle strength in my arms and legs. The first two times I saw him, he nearly killed me with his workouts. I have seen him four or five times a day the last few days and I learned really fast he wasn't one to take shit. He not only put me in my place, but didn't take any lip from Edward either when he bitched about my pain tolerance. Joe was pushing me, as he bent my legs at the knee then thigh, and I had tears running down my cheeks which made Edward a little livid. He also didn't like the fact Joe was a man and he had his hands on my body. After a much heated, fists clenched discussion, Edward relented and Joe did therapy on my legs until I nearly passed out. Then he started on my arm lifts and it hurt like a mother fucker, but he pushed me to keep going and I was glad he did. My legs didn't hurt because I had gotten more blood flow yesterday and now I was able to lift myself into the damn wheelchair sitting next to my bed. I hoped.
"Now…scoot your butt over to the edge of the bed using your upper body strength," he said and I looked at him with a raised eyebrow. He chuckled and crossed his arms over his chest.
"The break is on and you're basically just going to fall into the chair. You want to be able to go the bathroom yourself don't you?" He smirked with an eyebrow raised, knowing full well that I was sick of having no privacy to pee, and I rolled my eyes at him as a slid my happy ass toward the edge of the bed.
"Good, now move that hand," he pointed to the one I had on the wheelchair, "to the other arm and slide off the bed into it."
My mouth popped open and I just stared at him. Was he crazy? I was a known klutz and he wanted me to catch myself on a damn wheelchair.
"I…I…" was all I could get out before he raised his eyebrow in challenge.
"Just slide in and I'm here to catch you if you start falling." I did what he said and just let my ass fall into the chair and caught myself as best I could with a slight grunt. I looked up and Joe smiled.
"Great...now I'll push you into the bathroom...and show you how to get on and off the shitter." I groaned. This was going to be a long few hours.
December 22nd
I pulled myself back into the wheelchair after I washed my hands in the sink. I had gotten really good at the in and out part, over the last sixteen hours, now that the damn IV had been taken out of my arm. Of course I still couldn't get myself back into the bed so I had to rely on someone else.
"Okay I'm ready," I said and Sam opened the bathroom door and I wheeled myself to the bed.
"Thanks Sam," I whispered as he lifted me out of my chair and back into my hospital bed.
He just gave me a nod before he crossed his arms over his chest and stood next to my bed.
"Okay Miss Dwyer, where were we?" Detective dumbass asked as he opened his notebook and licked the end of his pen. I wasn't sure how my dad pulled that shit off, but everyone who knew me as Isabella Swan was no longer around, and my records now stated I was Elizabeth Dwyer. I was going to ask him as soon as I could, but for now I was going to deal with tweedle dee and tweedle dumb that stood staring at me. They were from the SVU unit and had shown up about thirty minutes ago to ask questions about what happened. I was not being very cooperative because detectives Hoyt and Roundy, or as I decided to call them dumbass and dipshit, were incompetent. They asked me five times already if I was certain there were two people holding me hostage. I answered them the same each time, but obviously they didn't understand English.
"Did you ever see Mr. Calls 'brother'?" Detective dipshit asked; air quoting with his hands.
"I already told you before…yes I saw him, but he wore a mask and I never got a clear look at his face," I said through clenched teeth knowing they didn't believe shit about there being another person at the cabin with Embry.
"I think we need to move on to another question gentlemen," Sam said and I mouthed a 'thank you' to him.
"Do you recall what happened the day you were found?" Detective dumbass asked. I sighed and told them how I was making breakfast for Embry and his brother, how I remember his brother coming upstairs and getting behind me, then how I thought he shot Embry and I passed out. They asked a few more retarded questions before thanking me.
"We'll be in touch Miss Dwyer…we have the results from the rape kits, the statements from yourself, Mr. Cullen, and from the officers so we'll do our best to get things taken care of. We'll try to find this 'brother' but in the meantime… if you remember anything else please give us a call," Detective dipshit said as he handed me a card and they walked out the door.
"Please tell me my dad is not relying on dumbass and dipshit there to solve this case." I rolled my eyes at Sam who was trying to hold in his laughter, but I could see his shoulders shaking.
"I'll be right outside if you need me," he said through his laughs and went back to his post.
December 23
"Stop shutting me out!" I screamed for the tenth time. We had been arguing for the last thirty minutes. Today was December 23 and The Cowboys were playing, at home. I was going, but Edward was adamant about me staying in this damn hospital another day.
"I'm not shutting you out!" he screamed back, but it was total bullshit and we both knew it. I knew why he was freaking out. He was scared and didn't know how to handle the situation. The problem was if I wasn't there he was likely to get hurt worrying about me. That is something I couldn't handle…especially not now… not with everything else I was handling at the moment.
"You are…you're not giving me any reasons… just your stupid do-as-I-say bullshit…I'm going and that's final." I cross my arms like a petulant child. I know I was being difficult, but he was too. He isn't the one sitting in this damn hospital bed worrying about the future…well he worries…but not like I had to worry.
"Fuck!" he screamed in frustration and pulls on his unruly hair.
"Edward," I whispered trying to calm the situation. He looks at me and I can see the fear he's trying to avoid in his eyes.
"We're better off together…if we're apart it will just make us both worry."
"It's too dangerous," he said and I can see the pain on his face.
"It's too dangerous for us to be apart. I'll worry about you getting hurt and you'll worry about my safety…so I'm going." I know…difficult. Okay maybe right out pain in the ass, but too damn bad. I wanted the truth from him. The truth that he couldn't control the situation and it scared him. Well damn it…Edward wasn't the only one scared. I might have been a little worried…fine…I was freaking the fuck out about being left here with just a couple of 'The Goon Squad'. I was afraid…afraid and I didn't want to admit it. I was scared shitless that if Edward left my sight or we were apart I would never see him again. I know it was probably some PTSD bullshit, but the fact was I couldn't handle being away from him. I didn't want to be away from him because he was the only thing keeping me sane. He had left my side, only once to go shower, I woke up and when I couldn't find him I became hysterical, and had to be sedated.
"Don't push me Isabella…You're safer here," he states matter-of-factly.
"I'll be safe there too…the entire fucking goon squad will be there," I huffed and tried to hold back the tears that were now pooling in my eyes.
"No!" he screamed with a look of pure anger in his eyes.
"I am not staying here damn it…you're dad said it was fine and he won't leave my side!" I yell back. Dr. Cullen had taken over my case when he showed up a few days ago. They were planning on flying in for the holidays, but came early after the media had gotten wind of me being in the hospital. Instead of them getting their facts right they made shit up. The news had said Edward had been admitted to the Parkland Hospital for emergency trauma surgery and was in critical condition. We had no idea any of the news shit was going on. I guess Edwards's mom, Esme, called Emmett in a panic. Thankfully Emmett was able to calm her down and told her what really happened. When they found out I had been rescued they flew right out. Dr. Cullen pulled some favors and took over my case. I was really grateful because now I knew exactly what I was up against. The only problem I had now was Edward the dominant asshole was in full force.
"Bella…be reasonable. It's not fucking safe and you know it," he said with a hint of sadness in his voice as he pulled on his untamed hair again.
I was sick of the 'be reasonable' I kept hearing from everyone. Reasonable was me not losing my fucking mind after everything I had learned over the past few days. Dr. Cullen wasn't anything like Dr. Riley which was good and bad. Dr. Cullen was straightforward and explained everything I had been through physically while I was…away. I was extremely dehydrated and malnourished when I arrived, but the IV was coming out in thirty minutes. I had died twice on the damn operating table and was revived, but not without issues to my system. I was healing as expected physically, but mentally they were concerned. Dr. Cullen was having a shrink come by and talk to me after the Christmas holiday and assess my needs on a physiological level. That was the only good news…well good as I was going to get for the time being.
The mutilation to my ankles, where the hooks had been imbedded in my skin, needed surgery. There was significant damage to the tendons, muscles and bone. They all had to be repaired for my capabilities to return. Over the next year I would have to have multiple reconstructive surgeries on both legs as well as a skin graph on my stomach. I was going to be in a wheel chair for god only knew how long and would have to rely on someone for most of my basic necessities until I learned how to maneuver in and out of the wheelchair. I was going to have to learn to walk again and I may even have to use braces for the rest of my life. I had a mental cluster fuck going on in my brain because I hadn't been raped at all like I thought. There was speculation about them raping girls in the same room as I was in, to make me think it was happening to me, so they could manipulate me easier. I was trying to figure out what was reality and what was from the drugs they had me doped up on in captivity.
I hid the cringes when people touched me, which was not as successful as I hoped, and I could see pain on Edwards face every time I flinched. I worried I would not be able to be held in his arms ever again. What if I couldn't stand to be touched in any form? I was scared shitless about the future and what it meant for me and the man I loved. I was worried he wouldn't want me anymore. I tried to keep my body covered when he was near me just so he wouldn't be appalled by me. I think for everything I had gone through and was still going through, I was being damn reasonable. I just didn't want to spend one more minute in this damn room when it wasn't going to change a thing about my situation.
"It's just as safe as me being in this damn hospital room," I retort hostility seeping through my voice.
"Charlie and Sam-"
"Charlie will be with you and Sam is here with me. I'm not arguing about this any damn more Edward!"
"Isabella!"
"DO NOT Isabella me…you are not going to throw out that dominant shit when you don't get your way…you tried controlling my life once before and that didn't go well!" I spat. Edwards head snaps up toward mine and the hurt on his face makes me realize what I just implied. I gasp and cover my mouth with my hands.
Edward stormed out of the room without a second glance and I felt a tear slips down my face.
"I didn't mean it like that," I whispered into the room as I buried my head in my hands and cried.
I don't blame Edward for my abduction, but he blames himself. He believes if he would have not tried to control the situation, even though he was trying to protect me, I would not have been abducted. Everyone, including me, has tried to get him to see it would have happened eventually anyway. Embry would not have given up and my understanding is he wasn't working alone. My abduction just happened sooner rather than later, but that doesn't change the fact Edward is berating himself about it. I was going to have to fix this and fast. The tears started streaming down my face as I broke down. How had my life become such a mess?
Alice was already talking when she entered the room.
"Your man is going to have to join the hair club for men if he keeps pulling on his hair like that." I quickly tried to wipe my face with my hands before she saw, but it was futile.
"O.M.G…What happened?"
"Nothing," I replied as Alice sat down in the chair.
"You are such a bad liar," Alice said shaking her head. "But I'll get back to that in a minute because I have exciting news." She was nearly bouncing out of her seat with joy as she said this last part.
"Me and Jasper are moving in together," she sighed.
"Oh Alice…that's great," I said with a smile trying to hide the ping of jealousy and hurt I felt. I wasn't sure if I would ever have that with Edward. Not now anyway.
"I know right…I mean it's so great. He's so wonderful and loving. He is the best man I have ever been with. He's so kind and generous. He doesn't even look at other women anymore and the sex, oh my god, the sex is so great. He has the biggest-"
That's when I tuned Alice out. I really didn't want to hear about Jaspers member or what he was capable of doing with it. There was also no way I was going to be able to say a word about it, because Alice was...Alice and when she wanted to tell you something…you'd hear it whether you liked it or not. I just said my mmmhmmms and uhhuhs in what I hoped was the appropriate places as Alice told me her news. Even if I wanted to focus I was unable to completely.
I was worried about Edward. I realized he had been gone longer than ever before. He had to be at the stadium in a few hours, but I figured he'd stick around until then. I needed to fix my mistake of making it sound like I blamed him for what happened. I needed to apologize, because I didn't want to hurt him. I loved him so damn much that it hurt. I was just angry he was trying to control me again, which was stupid. He needed to see that as long as Dr. Cullen and the goon squad would be at the game I would be fine. I needed to get out of here for a little while. I was no longer going to be on the IV and they were going to release me in a few days anyway for Christmas.
"And that's why I'm here," Alice said bringing me out of my thoughts.
"What?" I questioned.
"Bella, haven't you been listening?" she asked annoyed.
"I said…that's why I'm here to get you ready for the game," she said and lifted a huge duffel bag I hadn't noticed she brought in.
"Emmett told Jasper you were going to the game because Dr. C. said you could, so I'm here to help." She rolled her eyes annoyed.
"Sorry Alice, it's just hard to keep up with you," I said honestly.
"I know I'm like an umpa lumpa on crack." She laughed which caused me to laugh.
"Yes…yes you are," I said as our laughing died down which caused us to go into another round of giggles. I was wiping the giggle tears from my face as Alice reached down and picked up a duffel bag.
"Brought you some stuff I thought you'd like to have," she said with a sad smile as she pulled out a bathroom kit. It had my shampoo, comb, razor, and all other necessities I'd need and missed.
"Thank you," I whispered.
Alice pushed the call button on my bed and waited for the nurse to come in. Alice asked if it was alright for me to shower and the nurse gave the green light. I was thankful because I hadn't had a shower since I woke up. The nurse asked if Alice needed help getting me in, but Alice just waved her off. Alice wheeled my chair next to the bed and waited patiently for me to move my ass into it. I was really shocked when Alice was actually able to lift me into the shower. How someone so small had so much strength was amazing. Alice helped me to stand up so I could remove my Johnny and underwear before I got in. There was nothing awkward about the situation, even though I was completely naked. It felt really fucking good to have the water washing all over me. I shaved my arm pits then Alice proceeded to do my legs because I couldn't bend them in the right angle. I felt the panic start in as she reached my ankles, but Alice never said a word; she just looked at me and gave me a reassuring smile. She was mindful of my injuries, physically and mentally, as she finished quite fast. She was about to sit the razor down but hesitated.
"What is it Alice?" I asked afraid she was going to say something about my scars.
"Do you want me to take care of that too?" she asked with her nose scrunched up and I looked at her in confusion.
"Take care of what?"
"That," she said, pointing toward my girlie parts. I blushed, six shades of red, and shook my head because I couldn't answer.
"Okay…but if you decide to…leave the seventies era just let me know," she said with a smile and put the razor on the bathroom shelf.
"I will…thank you," I said blushing even darker. There was no way in hell I could let Alice shave my girlie parts. I'd rather look like I had Don King in a head lock between my knees.
Alice turned off the water and helped me dry myself with a towel. She sat a thick white robe; she took out of the duffel, in the wheelchair before she lifted me out of it. I was able to wrap the robe around my body so I was covered before she proceeded to dry my hair with a blow dryer. I knew it wouldn't be long before she decided to ask me what she wanted to know. I waited patiently and as she started brushing my hair out she spoke.
"Why were you crying when I came in?" she asked as she made another pass over my hair.
I sighed, but knew that I really wanted a third party opinion and who better than Alice.
"We were fighting about me going to the game…he doesn't want me there," I whispered the last part trying to stifle the hurt in my voice. I felt the brush stop, but only for a moment before Alice continued taming my wet hair.
"Why?" she asked.
I shrugged. "I don't know…he says it's safer here in the hospital than it is at the game."
"I don't believe you," she said as she sat the brush down. I bit my lip not sure how much I wanted to tell her, but before I could say anything she started blow drying my hair. We didn't say anything as she put a robe on me, the right way, then dried and styled my hair. When she was done she sat down on the small seat and faced me.
"Bella…I can't even imagine what you've been through and how hard this must be for you…but I'm your friend and I'm here to help…tell me what's going on Bella let me help you," she said grabbing my hands in hers. I looked at our hands and realized I didn't even flinch when she touched me. In fact, I never felt a flinch once in the last half hour. I trusted Alice and I really did need to talk to someone. She was my best friend before I was abducted. We had been through a lot together, so I swallowed over the lump in my throat and began to speak.
"You're the first person who hasn't treated me with…repulsion in their eyes," I said as I chanced a glance at her before I looked at my lap.
"Oh Bella," Alice said as she grabbed me in a hug. She held me for a minute and then slowly let me go and returned to her seat. We both wiped away the few tears we had before I continued.
"Edward and I were fighting before you got here," I said, but she just nodded and motioned for me to continue with a 'no duh' look on her face.
"I got angry because everyone…including him…keeps trying to control everything. I was controlled the entire time I was gone and I just want a little bit of control so I need to go to this game. Edward didn't listen and I…I told him he tried controlling my life once and that didn't go well and he thought I meant it was his fault I was abducted. That's not what I meant at all, but he hasn't come back. I just need to get out of here just for a little while." The tears started falling out of my eyes and I wiped them away as fast as they fell. Alice went to speak, but I needed to get the rest out so I just talked right over her.
"I blame me Alice…me for what happened. I shouldn't have left that day, but I felt so damn…I was just being obstinate and now I'm going to be the one who has to deal with the consequences of that day. No one else is going to have to go through what I am. I am stuck in this fucking wheelchair…"I hiccupped but continued.
"I may never walk again Alice…I have to have many surgeries, if they work then I'll probably be in braces. I will always have be "taken care of" until I can get in and out of the wheelchair alone. Edward has a life Alice and I don't want to be a burden on him not to mention I flinch when anyone…well, but you, touches me. From the first day I woke up all I want is for Edward to just hold me, I wanted to feel the arms I missed and know I was finally safe, but he keeps his distance. I'm just waiting for the minute he doesn't come back…I may have already pushed him to that today. I just want the most time I can with him before he realizes it's better for him to just leave me for good because I'm deformed and fucked up."
"Bella…hunny, Edward loves you."
I shook my head. "I can't ask him to be seen with a cripple, Alice," I sobbed.
Movement at the door caught my attention and Edward was standing there, except it wasn't Edward any longer, it was the dominant that scared me. The green in his eyes had almost disappeared to where his eyes looked black. I flinched as he crossed his arms over his chest. Alice didn't say a word as she excused herself from the bathroom. Edward spoke as soon as the room door clicked shut.
"No more Isabella. I'm done with this situation and I'm moving forward," he stated matter-of-factly without any remorse at all. I gasped sobbed, as tears started running out of my eyes; I was going to be alone…now more than ever…because I had pushed him way to far this time…and this was goodbye.
It will be an HEA I SWEAR! It was getting too long. I had to cut it here...
"Hello this is Officer Charles Swan and Ms. Switz is currently being looked at by Dr. Cullen due to the fact she now has a concussion, because of how she ended the chapter. I am here to tell you what happened. Upon reading the end of the chapter, readers formed an angry mob, armed with weapons, they started chasing Ms. S…She of course started running and dove into her nuclear bomb shelter. She locked it and was tucked safely away. However, after sighing a breath of relief she turned around. Edward, Sarah, Jessica, and Mandee…stood there angry, eyebrows raised, arms crossed over their chests and tapping a foot in unison. Needless to say Ms. Switz decided she'd rather face the angry mob than the angry people in front of her. She opened the door to the shelter and started running toward said angry mob, only to trip on her own feet. She has a small concussion and is really really really sorry she left you with a cliffie."
