Well, ladies and gents, the moment you've all been waiting for(well, one of them), is here! Sauron's long awaited battle!
(sings orchestrated theme, imitates drum cymbals, sings, wheezes for breath, resumes, final note)
It seemed like forever to Ash and his company when they left the empty cabin to return to civilization. Now they were walking around a long grassy area. Except for Ash and A.J., everyone else was growing exhausted and felt they couldn't even continue.
"So exhausted...can't even continue!" James complained.
"Quit your whining rich boy. After all, you and your nutcase friends got yourselves into this crappy mess, you can get yourselves out." Ash snapped.
"How were we supposed to know this would happen?"
"Um, maybe it's because, 1:you never use those things in your heads called brains and 2:there's a friggin' war going on!"
"I wasn't meant to suffer like this!" said Jessie. "My incredible beauty will vanish!"
Ash and A.J. snickered. "Hey, Bitcherella, have you ever once looked in the mirror? Girls like you make boy bands say 'Ewww!!'" The two slapped a high-five. "That was good!" they said to each other. Mentally, Meowth and James laughed out loud, fighting the urge to laugh for real.
"Why I outta...!" the villainess began, but then she tripped over something.
"Ow! What the...?" She looked over and saw a small metal object half buried in the ground. "What's that?"
As a precaution, A.J. called forth Sandslash to dig around the area and scoop it out. "It's a camcorder." he whispered and picked up the device.
"What's a camcorder doin' all da way out here?" Meowth asked.
A.J. fumbled with the thing and found an empty battery slot. "Anyone got three double A batteries?"
James took said batteries out of his pocket and handed them to the Johto marine. He put them in and pressed the camcorder's start button.
The entire group gathered around and watched.
The video displayed a first person view of two people riding around on bicycles. A man seemed to lead the way. He wore a red boonie hat, black shorts, and a shirt with "I 'heart' pokemon!" on the back. The voice of the camera operator sounded female. She wore a green skirt, shoes and a shirt with a cloud and "What? Is it a crime to be pretty?" written on the front. The camera was attached to the girl's head and bike helmet. They were on a date.
"Hey, no fair, Richard! My bike's a cruiser while yours is a dirt bike!" the girl said playfully.
"You didn't think we weren't gonna ride on dirt, did you?" the man teased. "After all, I told you many times before to buy a dirt type, but did you listen? Nnnnoooooooooooooooo!"
"That thing cost $189.79, while mine cost $99.99." the woman said.
"The high cost of mine was well worth it, Amber."
The young couple's fun and adventure was suddenly cut short when they heard a sound.
The couple stopped and stared out in confusion. "What the heck was that?" Amber asked.
"Beats me." said her date. The sound happened again, only it got bigger.
"Richard, I'm getting scared..." said Amber as she got off her bike to get closer to him. Richard hugged her, feeling scared himself.
Something large was moving around. Another followed. The two large objects consisted of a giant pink gorilla and a yellow and purple stripped dinosaur and they were engaged in combat and by their bruises and cuts, both creatures have been duking it out for quite some time.
"What the hell are those things?!" Richard screamed.
Ash and the group stared in shock at the tiny screen. "Sauron and Chaos were here?" he whispered.
The video showed the couple attempting to get away from the deadly titans, but the girl tripped and fell. Her camera detaching from the bike helmet she wore.
"Dammit! I sprained my ankle!" Amber cried. Her lover helped her up and they kept moving. Because of her injury, the lovebirds had to escape by foot. They didn't bother to take the camcorder with them as they headed into the same long grass area the camera's viewers were near right now. It was left behind to record the remainder of the fight.
Chaos slammed his mighty fist right on top of Sauron's head, making him disoriented. Sauron snapped out of it and opened his jaws. A stream of yellow cone-shaped energy shot out and flew straight toward Chaos with a direct hit to the chest.
Chaos screeched from the burning pain of the hit and the charge attack his enemy made. Both of them fell down and wrestled around for a bit.
Sauron's tail swung and smacked Chaos in the face. Chaos got a firm grip on Sauron's throat and delivered a right hook to the hungry god's eye. Sauron stepped back from the blow, allowing Chaos to get up and, with great effort, took a large jump and heavily crashed back down, making the ground shake and chaos lost his balance and fell back down.
Just when he was going to get back up, Sauron jumped again and this time stomped Chaos's left foot, completely crushing it in the process. The Draconian screamed extremely loud from it's now fractured foot, it echoed around. The bones, veins and muscle tissue were as flat as a pancake and blood heavily poured all over.
The assault was repeated on the second foot with the same results as the other one. The god of decay was now incapacitated and Sauron was the dominant one. A blob of disgusting puke came from the fallen gorilla's mouth, but missed its target. The god of hunger grabbed a hold of Chaos by the arm with his powerful jaws, putting up his force field to shield his head from his victim's retaliating hits and with all his strength, pulled and the arm was ripped off the body. Blood sprayed everywhere.
Chaos screamed and was bleeding from his mouth. Sauron successfully did the same with the other limb, he was making his enemy suffer greatly and it worked. The evil god monster was crippled and armless, leaving him wide open for whatever horrifying assault Sauron had in store.
Having enough, he tried crawling away. But Sauron stopped him by grabbing the puking creature by the feet and simply dragging him away. When he stopped, Sauron proceeded to beat Chaos with his feet, tail, and primal scream attack. Almost unconscious but wanting to be, Chaos turned around and got his death wish when the god of hunger delivered the final killing blow by jumping up one last time and landed right on top of Chaos. The stomping resumed again and again until every bone, muscle, and organ was broken and flattened and every single drop of blood, plasma, and brain matter was splattered everywhere, even on the dinosaur that caused it.
"OH, MY GOD!!!" the viewers exclaimed from witnessing the gory fatality.
Because of Chaos's reputation as a decay god, and the evidence was all over the place to prove it, Sauron, initially for the first time in his life, refused to make a meal out of his fallen prey and instead roared in victory and walked away in search of food.
After not finding anything else, the recording ended.
Everybody stood up, the battle now fresh in their heads.
"When did that happen?" Jessie asked.
A.J. looked at the video again and saw the time and date. "According to this, the fight took place about...four days ago around 2:p.m."
A thought came to Ash. "If the fight was here and Chaos died here, then where's his corpse?"
They all turned their heads in dread...and found what they sought!
See? I told you Sauron would be up next. And to whoever asked for Sauron to kill Chaos like that, you got your wish at long last. Well, later!
(turns around and accidentally smashes head into wall)
D'OH!
