Disclaimer: My name is not Stephenie Meyer.

Author's Note: EIGHT! Aww… there aren't many left! This one was co-authored by NerdyGuRu2 (she wrote the last bit) Votes For Return of the Vampire Cat: 3

Prank 42: Take Esme to the flea market (with his credit cards) and tell her to buy whatever she wants

"Here we are, Esme, one of the biggest flea markets in the U S of A," I said, pointing to a huge field full of venders and their wares.

Esme was practically drooling on me, so I drove into the market.

Five hours and about three thousand dollars later…

"You took her where? And you gave her what? And she spent how much?" Carlisle said, after looking at the moving van full of useless junk that Esme had bought at the flea market.

"I took her to one of the largest flea markets in the United States; I gave her your credit cards – which she used at every stall that took them – and she spent three thousand dollars. Exciting, no?"

"NO! MARY ALICE BRANDON-HALE YOU ARE TO NEVER – EVER – TAKE ESME TO THE FLEA MARKET AGAIN! Especially with my credit cards."

I smiled and directed some of the movers to put a pinball table in the family room. "Oh, don't worry. There isn't much in the world that she didn't buy. So we don't have to go again."

Carlisle turned an interesting shade of red, but he composed himself quickly and smoothed his hair back. "Just don't do it again."

Just then a mover walked into the living room. "Where should we put the antique printing press?"

Carlisle turned and gave the mover a murderous glare. "The what?"

"The antique printing press," the mover repeated.

Carlisle looked like he might faint, an impossible thing for vampires. "The DUMPSTER!"

With that, he turned around and stormed off to his office. I heard him bang his head against his desk ten seconds later, and I grinned evilly, high fiving Esme.