Chapter 29: One Step Closer
Don't be afraid. Let go!
Soon as you surrender
What's inside will sweep on through
As the boundaries raised
Between us disappears
And every little step
Every single step
Is one step closer
To talking loud and clear
-Little Mermaid on Broadway
"How was training? Who is the strongest? What did 12..."
"December, my sweet December. I already filled in Chaff, you can get the important details from him. Tonight, I just want to be with you. Can't we pretend for a moment that this is all a blessing and nothing more than a chance to see each other?" He came towards me quickly, lifting off the ground and twirling me as if I was a flimsy doll.
"You're stronger then you were on the Victory Tour, but I don't doubt that Cato could throw me across the room. Most of all, we need to learn Katniss's strengths. She looks like she has some secret up her sleeve. Were they dressed the same? How was the boy, Peeta? What about..."
"December, my sweet, my darling girl, no more. Be here with me, not the Games." I started to open my mouth and he blocked all words with a sweet kiss. I smiled, giving in to his kisses and trying to pull my mind from strategy. "You do have one thing to teach me though. When I win and come to the Victor ball I want to be able to dance with you perfectly, in Capitol style. Teach me."
I laughed, dragging him over to the music box on the wall and scanning through the choices until I found a simple dance tune, giggling from his kisses while the box warmed up.
"Hands on my waist." He immediately pulled me in, our fronts to using as he grasped me firm, planting another kiss on my neck. "Not that close, my love. There is a type of etiquette over dating in the upper class that the screens don't really show."
"And how is some lowly District boy supposed to know that? If he's taken by a beautiful woman that somehow he got in his arms, why should he risk letting go?" That time, I kissed him on the cheek with a light peck.
"Now, you count in 9, then repeat the numbers and for the first three sets of counting the steps always stay the same in most dances. Parties like the Victor ball don't usually have perfect dancing, it's one of the biggest parties of the year and not everyone there is used to the patterns. If you learn a few basic ones, then you can just switch back and forth every three." He nodded, never loosening his grip on my waist. "Ok, here we go. 1, left foot to the right. 2, right foot back. 3, half turn. 4, back to start. 5, lift me through 6. 7, down. 8 separate. 9, together. Then repeat."
I continued taking through the steps; slowly adding in the little flourishes Capitol citizens spent hours learning. I watched him mouthing the numbers, carefully watching his feet and slowly gaining confidence to raise his eyes to meet my face.
When he mastered it, I closed my eyes, leaning closer on his chest and the beat of heart overpowering the music. "You are going to catch every girl's eye at the ball."
He didn't reply at first, just placing a single finger over my lips before whispering softly. "Shh. Let me just have you in my arms and feel you. I get to hear your voice all the time, but I rarely can touch you." I smiled as he again tightened his grasp.
Dancing usually bored me, yet I wasn't even bothered that we continuously repeated the same set of 9 counts, solely focused on Thresh's skin against mine, the steadiness of his breathing and the soft gaze he focused on me with, the never ending loving look from his eyes.
"Why do I love you so much?" His voice was teasing, a thin whisper in my ear as the song ended and we stayed still, wrapped in each other's arms in the middle of the room.
"I have no idea." I threw my head back in laughter and he kissed my neck.
"I love you for your smile," He kissed the lowest part of my neck, right on my blouse hemline. "Your laughter," He planted another kiss a tad further up. "Your silly little gem in the corner of your eye, that stupid line you always say on the screens, our similarities, and our difference." He pecked me once for every thought, kisses overwhelming my neck. "I love your honesty, your fear and your bravery, your red strand of hair, your diamonds, the memory of you in Trina's straw hat, your carelessness, and your caution." I barely comprehended his words anymore, a light swoon coming over me though I didn't want to admit how weak anyone could make me feel. "Most of all, I love your love for me."
Tears moistened my eyes, and my voice was but a whisper. "Don't let me go." I couldn't imagine the feeling of his touch ever leaving my skin.
"Never." He scooped me up as I buried my face in shirt, him sitting carefully on the edge of the bed. "I couldn't ever to let you go." A knock on the door snapped me back into alertness, Kirsti slipping into the room and tapping her wrist watch. Time was up for the day and I started to move away slowly. "Don't go, you don't need to."
"Yes I do, you need rest for training tomorrow. The Game makers really start figuring out scores at this point, and you need yours to be high. The higher it is, people will question less if I back you."
"I don't need training right now, I need you." I waved Kirsti from the room, knowing she would head home to meet me there. "I need our time together, right now. Nothing else is worth anything to me."
"We'll have a lot of time in less than a month. Once you're a Victor, no one will care if you are always at my side." I placed my hand on his cheek and he rested his on top.
"Tell me you love me, let me hear it one more time."
I sat back in his lap, wrapping my legs around him as I leaned in towards his ear. "I love you, Thresh Frawley, and I always will." I kissed him lightly, ignoring the single tear running down his cheek. "I'll see you in the morning, the Game makers usually let me peak in on the second day for a little bit." He didn't say anything, just holding my face between his hands and staring into my eyes. "I need to go, you need sleep."
"What sleep could help me now, what training could help me?" His voice was distant, and it tingled my veins. I gave him one last kiss, slipping from the room, frightened that he had already lost hope. Didn't he see everything I was doing for him?
The walk home in the night air was calming, reminding me of that single night in District 11 where I walked under the stars and he found me. I felt warm again as I remembered his witty comments, his teasing as he pretended to not know who I was. I desired nothing more then his strong arm around me again as I walked.
I barely noticed the old woman standing in front of my door for a moment, yet it didn't take long to feel the usual chill once I did. She opened the door slowly, slipping into my bedroom and I followed her. "How was your evening, darling?" Her words were warm, but she used the same cold tone she always did to deliver them.
"Fine. Why are you here?" I had work to do, plans to make.
"I just thought I'd offer you some relationship advice. Come and sit with me." She grabbed my arm fast, jerking me to the bed. "Do you like it when he kisses you? What's his name again, the dirty tribute." I looked at her for a moment, unsure of what was happening. "Ah, I remember. Thresh Frawley." That's when my blood started to run cold, when I felt my limbs struggling for escape.
"Now, now, darling, we can work this out. He must be nice, lying to your face about how he likes you, I'm sure he makes you feel nice while he kisses you, maybe more." Would anyone hear me if I screamed? I hadn't seen any peacekeepers, and my family was out at a party at Crane's. I had timed it perfectly to slip in unnoticed, or maybe she had figured out the timing as well. "Hush, my sweet girl, there's no need to fight me. I know he forced you into it, scared you a bit but that's the danger of the Districts. Whatever he bribed you with will be taken care of. Imagine how Crane will treat him in the arena when he hears that the boy raped my adorable grandchild."
At that, I doubled my efforts, but she was strong for an old woman. As she pressed her hand stronger against my mouth, I bit her quickly, causing her to jerk the rotten flesh away. "He didn't rape me, you know that! What do you really want?"
She smiled lightly, releasing me fully as she walked towards the door. "You married off to someone for the sake of your brother and to never hear from your sorry ass again." The door slammed and I curled up in a ball, seeing Kirsti emerge from a darkened corner out of the corner of my eye as I simply began to cry.
