AL:
Hello all,
If any old readers find this and have returned, wow and welcome back.
It's been a long while since the last time I came back to this site.
Going through things, I found some new messages, reviews and it got me thinking to the last 'update' I made and how things have changed drastically since then. And I'd like to share a small update with everyone.
First, my father is no longer with us. Maybe not physically but I know in my heart, he's in my corner and always there with me. It was a little dark for a while after his absence but please don't feel sad dear reader for there have been so much more light than dark these previous years.
I wrote this story when I was healing from the aftermath of a break up. Hoping to heal, I had connected with these two characters from Once Upon A Time and as a self-healing project, began writing. Through writing I met a woman. The most… kind hearted, soft, gentle and soulful person I have had the honour and pleasure of loving for four years now.
It began timidly with a lot of uncertainty from my part. We were thousands of miles away from each other and I didn't know if I could deal with that distance. On top of that, she lived in a country where English wasn't the first language and I was terrified. How was this going to work? Was I ever going to move? Was she going to move? And if I did, would I pick up the language easily? All these questions based of fear lead me into a downward spiral where I finally gave in to it during one of the worst fevers I've experienced. In a haze of nausea, I was almost demanding a break up. Her words, I'll never forget because this is where I knew without a shadow of a doubt, I have found someone truly special, were this, "I'm sorry you feel so bad…" Here I was, ready to break her heart because I couldn't see myself taking such a risk and there she was… still gently caring for me. How could I be scared of this?
I began trusting her. Trusting what we were discovering together.
She has been with me before, during and after my father's passing. I've flown to see her thrice. Her family is beautiful. The most wonderful people I know. Her mom let's me call her from miles away when I need help. Her little nephew looks at me like I'm his giant toy/friend and we always have wonderful fun when I see him and the family. Their bond and love was an absolute contrast to the world I grew up in. I couldn't believe how lucky I was. Out of all the people on this planet, I found them.
Don't get me wrong there have been hard days. Really, REALLY hard days but I wouldn't be where I am now without her. Joyful. In love.
Oh. And I proposed to her last month.
When will I move? I don't know.
When will we get married? I don't know.
But. Am I moving? Without question.
Am I marrying her? Without question.
Will we make this work? Without question.
Now, I realize this isn't much to go on. But… this story began with so much heartbreak for both me and the characters. And to look back and see just how much things have changed… I am so blessed. And I wanted to share this with everyone who read each chapter and gave such support at a time I had no one and was struggling to heal.
So thank you everyone.
While our Swan Queen ship didn't set sail, there's no end to the story of Luceat Lux Vestra.
Because we're all learning to let our light shine.
I wish you all the best on your journeys,
KT
