I wrote this over a period of three days, because I couldn't focus and had summer classes and my job to do. Hopefully next time I update it will be something I can type up in one go, because no matter what I do, this feels disjointed to me. But I can't pinpoint what's what with it, so I'm going with me being overly critical of myself.
By the time that Bernadette, Penny, Missy, and Raj emerged from the kitchen to announce to Leonard, Howard, Gilda, Mark, and the girls that the meal was ready, it was clear that Sheldon and Amy would not be making an appearance.
Penny's dejected expression didn't go unnoticed among the group. While still in the kitchen, Raj put his arm around her sympathetically. "We just need to get through tonight," he said quietly. "For your girls. And if Missy and I come home upset, Cinnamon will sense it and not be able to sleep."
"I'll try to hold it all together for the dog," Penny said, managing a smile.
When they went to sit down, Gilda touched her arm as they passed, and once in their seats, Leonard quietly took her hand and kissed it.
Bernadette was opening her mouth to speak when Savannah blurted out "I can't have wine!" and Penny jumped up. "I'll get your milk," she said, bolting back into the kitchen. She opened the fridge, and exhaled deeply, dropping on her knees to the floor and putting her face in her hands.
"Oh, Penny."
Penny looked up, shaking her head at her friend. "Bernadette, I can't do this. I can't do it."
Bernadette dropped to the ground and put her arm around Penny's shoulders, and Penny tipped her head to rest against Bernadette's. "I know it hurts," Bernadette said. "But today is for what's going good in your life. What you're thankful for. You've got all of us, and your daughters…"
"My daughters," Penny said, sitting up and shaking her head. " I try so hard to not let them see me cry."
"They aren't seeing you," Bernadette said. "Look, they're eating. They're not looking over here. She glanced up at the shelves inside the fridge. "Penny…"
"I know," Penny said. "I'll be okay in a moment."
"That's good," Bernadette said. "But…the fridge is still open, and…"
"Oh, sorry," Penny said, giving a short laugh as she stood up and removed Savannah's sippy cup. She wiped her eyes and let out a deep sigh. "Time to smile and show Savannah how one gets a toothpaste commercial."
Bernadette smirked.
"Here's your milk, Savvy!" Penny said cheerfully, striding back into the room and handing it to her daughter. Savannah took the cup and put it to her lips.
"What do you say?" Leonard prompted.
Savannah swallowed. "Thank you Mommy," she said, grinning. Penny allowed her smile to remain another moment before sinking down beside Leonard, next to Ada's high chair, and letting out another quiet sigh.
"So," Missy said, sensing the false cheerfulness coming from the other end of the table, "Anyone feeling…particularly thankful for anything?"
"Easy there," Leonard hissed into Penny's ear as she gave Missy a dejected glare. "I, for one," Leonard said, "am thankful for my family." He shrugged. "Cliché, maybe, but…" he smiled to his left, looking at all three of his girls. "I am."
"I," Howard said, "am thankful for my correspondence with Stephen Hawking. He's planning another research trip, and he's dropped a few hints that suggest that it will be within my realm of expertise."
"Wow," Raj said, nodding. "That's amazing!"
"I was going to say I'm thankful for my husband," Bernadette said, giving Howard a mock glare, "but we've clearly shifted from the heartfelt topics to the career ones, so I got that big research grant last month. I'm pretty damn thankful for that."
"I'm not sure I like this change in topic," Raj said. "I haven't made a significant contribution to science in like four years."
"I'll change it back," Gilda said. "I'm thankful for the same thing I am every year – a chance to know all of you. When Leonard and my project didn't get the funding, we fell out of touch, and now years later, not only am I friends again with one of the only people that saw things in the same way I did all those years ago, I'm friends with his fiancé, my daughter is friends with theirs, and I know all of their friends." She smiled. "Not getting to work on that project was hard for me, especially when Leonard's career took off without me. But I really do like how everything turned out. And in the past year, I've fully realized that it's better this way. That project would have meant I wasn't in Florida the winter that I met Mark."
Mark leaned over and kissed Gilda on the cheek. "I'm glad your project fell through."
"Aww," Penny said, smiling at them and then looking at Leonard.
"Would you have met Mommy?" Savannah asked.
The entire group turned to look at Savannah, surprised that a five year old was able to comprehend what Gilda had said. Leonard bit his lip and tapped his fingers on the table before answering. "I'd like to think that Mommy and I would have met no matter what," he said. Savannah smiled and took a bite of turkey.
Leonard and Penny exchanged a look, both knowing full well that that answer had been given for Savannah's benefit only. "And what are you thankful for, Savvy?" Penny asked.
Savannah looked suddenly shy. "Friends," she said quietly, looking at the floor.
"Friends like Iris?" Leonard asked.
Savannah nodded. "And Ada, and Mommy and Daddy." She looked up. "Why isn't Uncle Sheldon and Aunt Amy here?"
"Why aren't Uncle Sheldon and Aunt Amy here," Gilda corrected gently.
"Not now, Gilda!" Penny and Leonard said at the same time. Iris giggled.
"Are Uncle Sheldon and Aunt Amy not thankful for us?" Savannah asked, her lower lip trembling.
"Uncle Sheldon and Aunt Amy don't love us?" Iris asked, her eyes wide. She dropped out of her chair to the floor, and began to cry.
At Iris crying, Savannah lost it, her face crumpling and tears leaking out. She grabbed her mother's arm and pushed her face into Penny's sleeve. Ada, in her high chair next to Penny, began to wiggle, looking like she was about to cry any minute. Howard jumped up and pulled her out of the high chair, trying to prevent the baby from seeing the crying older children.
Penny stood up and picked up Savannah, pushing the girl's head under her neck so the girl couldn't see that Penny, too, was on the edge. Leonard, upon seeing that Howard was bouncing Ada back to tranquility, came up in front of Penny and put his arms around her, their daughter, still in Penny's arms, sandwiched in the middle. Penny dug her chin into Leonard's shoulder and squeezed her eyes shut so her crying daughter, spurred on by Iris's own cries, wouldn't realize that her mother wasn't holding her close to comfort her, but to prevent her from becoming more upset by realizing that Penny was just as concerned about how Sheldon and Amy felt as the little girls were.
There was always that short note Penny had slipped under 4A's door.
