Y/N: The rest of the Digidestined get their starts
U/N: What she said ^
Title: Digimon Adventure: Moments
By: Yukira and UrazamayKing
Disclaimer: I don't own Digimon or its characters.
Chapter 33: Gennai's Test
Willis Kennedy (1994):
"Who are you?" I asked the man who was sitting where my Mom was supposed to sit.
"Willis, this is Jeffery." Mom said quietly as she sipped her tea, sitting in my chair. "I met him today at the super market." I didn't remember that. I went with her...
Oh right. I fell asleep. I liked sleeping but I was really going to have to stop doing that. I was to start school soon. I was so excited though. Mom told me that they got lots of homework, and the longer you were in school the more homework you got. I planned to stay forever so I'd always have homework and something to do.
I was getting really bored with all of the computer games Mom had gotten me.
"Hello." I said as simply as I could. "How are you?"
Jeffy, or whatever Mom had called him smirked into his cup of tea and then set it down softly onto the table.
"I'm doing alright," Jeffy said. "How are you Willis?"
"How do you know my name?" I asked him.
He moved his hand really smoothly—like water—toward my Mom and said, "Your Mother told me."
"Oh, right." I said. "I'm okay."
"Just okay?" He asked, leaning back into his chair and picking up his teacup once more.
"Yeah," I admitted. I didn't get much chance to really talk to anyone, so it was nice to have this Jeffy guy here, even if he was my Mom's friend. Sometimes I wished she'd bring home friends for me instead. "I'm really bored. I beat 'Space Invasion: Fusion Miracle 14' Like three times now." Jeffy gave me the same look all Mom's other friends gave me when I talked about the games I had. They were too old to know them.
"That's a pretty sophisticated game there Willis." He said, his eyebrows really high on his face.
"What?" I gasped, "You know it?"
"Know it?" Jeffy said excitedly, "I love that game!"
"Oh me too!" I said, smiling. I grabbed the stool by the sink that Mom had bought so I could help her with the dirty dishes, and dragged it over to the table so I could sit down. "My favourite part is the ending!"
"The battle against Spurgh?" Jeffy asked, nodding.
"No no," I said shaking my head. "That part is okay. But I like the video at the end where it shows all the planets being happy and living in pieces."
"Peace." Mom corrected with a little giggle.
"Right," I said filing that word in my mental filing cabinet. "I just like how everyone was looking for their miracle, and they wanted me to do it for them. They wanted me to help them—and then I did and now they can all live their lives peacefully. Until I restart the game again."
"That's very... honourable of you Willis."Jeffy said. "You're a smart kid."
Mom snorted into her tea and then said, "You can say that again. I can't get anything past him!"
"Well you don't have to lie to me to get me to do things Mom." I said, "I'm happy to help. If you want my teeth just ask, don't make me put them under the pillow when I sleep. It's weird."
Jeffy and my Mom laughed at me, but I didn't get sad or anything so I knew they were being friendly.
"Will you excuse me?" Mom said, "I just have to..." She trailed off.
"Pee." I finished for her. Her face turned bright red as Jeffy laughed with me. She rushed off and I was left alone with Jeffy.
"Willis," He said after a long empty space with no talking. Silence. The word was silence.
"Yes Jeffy?" I asked. He smirked again.
"My name isn't Jeffy." He said, "It's Gennai."
"No, you're lying." I said, "Mom said Jeffy or something."
"No," He said, "I told your Mother my name was Jeffery, but it is really Gennai." That didn't make sense. Why would he lie about his name? Maybe he hated it. It was kinda weird... "Your Mom is a very sweet lady, but do you know why I'm here?"
I shook my head.
"For you." He said.
"Are you going to kidnap me?" I asked. "Because I have a rape whistle somewhere in my toy box upstairs. I'll go get it."
Jeffy—or whoever he was—bit his bottom lip to avoid laughing.
"No Willis, I'm not going to kidnap—or rape you." Jeffy said serious.
"Good." I said.
"I'm looking for someone to test." Jeffy said. "Someone who I think can handle it. A child. Two children actually. I think you could be the first."
"Tests are for school. I'm not in school yet." I told him.
"No that's okay." Jeffy said. "It's more of a personality test anyway. I have to test it on two children. If children can prove to be open minded and thoughtful enough, then the World might actually be saved."
"I'll be saving the world?" I asked quietly.
Jeffy nodded, "If it works."
"What do I have to do?" I asked.
"You just have to be yourself." Jeffy said, "You won't know when the test begins... because I can't tell you any more information about it. But I have a feeling you'll pass. And if I'm right... then yes, you'll save the world."
"And then everyone can live in peace." I said, just so I'd get to use the new word.
"Indeed." Jeffy said patting my head. For a second I thought he was hurting me because of the weird feeling that went through my body, but it turned out to be just a funny tingly feeling.
"Can we start the test?" I asked.
"No," Jeffy said, "It will take me a long while to set it up. But I promise I won't forget it. It'll happen."
Mom came back from peeing just then and sat down. "Did you have a nice chat?"
I had a feeling I wasn't supposed to tell Mom about the test so I nodded, "Yeah. I'm gonna go play now." I said. "Bye Jeffy."
He waved to me kindly and then I was off to play with my action figures. One of them was missing a leg, and one was missing his head, but that was okay, I wasn't thinking about them anyway, I was thinking about saving the world.
Taichi Yagami (1995):
"You will stay here," Dad said. He was almost snarling. It was really scary, and not just because he looked really mean. Dad pulled me by the arm, and set me—kind of roughly—into a chair in the waiting room. I was given strict instructions "Do. Not. Move," before Dad looked around in search of Mom and Hikari, my sister.
My little sister was in the hospital, and Mom kept talking like she might not make it home again. Did she mean Hikari was going to die? She couldn't! That wasn't fair. All I wanted to do was play soccer; I didn't mean for this to happen. It wasn't supposed to happen. Hikari was the one that said she could go out and play if I wanted to. She said that, not me. I just really wanted to play and I didn't think it was fair that Mom and Dad left me to take care of her. I was just a kid too. I was too young to take care of her properly. So it was their fault, really….though I supposed it was my fault a little bit too. Just a little though.
Hikari had agreed to go to the park with me so we could play with my new ball. She didn't even waste time getting dressed, choosing to stay in her pajamas so that we could play faster. That might've actually been my suggestion…but I couldn't remember exactly. The point was, she was coughing and woozy as she played with me, barefoot in pajamas in the park. She didn't even think to grab a hat. But then again, I hadn't thought of it either, and I was older—and therefore smarter—so it was my responsibility. It was no wonder really why she fell to the ground, limp and unmoving after only twenty minutes of playing.
Mom and Dad came running to the park as soon as they got home and started yelling at me on sight. The yelling got worse when they saw that Hikari was sleeping in the park, only she wasn't sleeping…not really. She was unconscious, and they kept telling me that it was all my fault. It wasn't though. It couldn't be! They rushed to the nearest phone and called for an ambulance and some guys in blue suits took Hikari and Mom away in it. Dad really thought about leaving me at home, but decided he needed to keep an eye on me, and dragged me to our car before following the ambulance to the hospital.
"Taichi," Dad said sternly. "You stay on that chair and you think—really think—about what you did today. Your sister…she could…and you…." He curved his hands into fists and I cowered away from them. He looked between his fisted hands and me and shook his head in disbelief before rushing off down the hallway. He must've caught sight of Mom, because he disappeared into a hospital room shortly after.
I knew that Hikari was hurt and all, but why did they have to leave me alone? I was scared too, not just them. They didn't see it when Hikari's legs wobbled underneath her and she fell on top of my soccer ball—which I'd had to leave in the park because Dad was in a big hurry to get to the hospital. They didn't hear her calling my name, asking me to help her get back up so that we could keep playing. I saw and heard all of it, and no one could tell me that Hikari was going to be okay. Mom and Dad didn't even want to look at me, they were so mad. And Hikari couldn't tell me, because she was still unconscious. She would've if she could though. She was always doing things for me just because I'm her brother. She always put me first.
And, yeah, maybe that day I should have done the same for her, but I didn't. I couldn't change that. But there were a lot of grownups in the waiting room looking at me, wondering why I was there alone, and I was shaking from head to toe because I was panicking about Hikari, and Mom and Dad didn't care at all. They were too scared to notice that I was scared too.
I shouldn't have listened to her when she said she was healthy enough to play soccer with me. She was barely standing when she said it, and she kept coughing… But I really wanted to play! I knew that I could convince her it was a good idea by suggesting just how much I wanted it, and she did exactly as I wanted her to. I was a bully, and I bullied my sister to death.
Death!
Did I really think she was going to die? My hands started shaking worse and I started bawling like a big baby. No one could tell me she wasn't going to die. That meant she was, didn't it? Don't doctors usually tell you if dying was an option or not? Mom and Dad seemed so angry with me and so nervous about Hikari that the doctor must've told them she was going to die.
I started hyperventilating at that point.
"Relax, Taichi," an old man in green clothes. He looked like a doctor, and even had one of those things they used to listen to heartbeats around his throat. "Breath with me."
He breathed in slowly, and held his breath for a couple of seconds before exhaling. He didn't stop doing that until I copied him, and kept going until I was completely calm again.
"That's better, isn't it?" he asked with a smile.
"What good is it if my sister's gonna die?" I said miserably.
"Perk up, Taichi," the man said. "No one told you she would die."
"But I'm scared she will!" I insisted. "They haven't told me anything. They forgot I was here I bet. Or they don't want to tell me because they're punishing me. They won't tell me that she's dying and then I won't get to see her again, or say goodbye and it's all my fault!"
"She's not dying," he said gently. "Taichi, your sister is fine. She's still sick, but she's got a great destiny spread out before her. It is not her time to die."
"Are you sure?" I asked meekly. I hated being scared like that. I was too scared to reach out and cling to the hope he was trying to give me.
"Positive," he assured me.
"Are you a doctor then?" I wanted to know.
"Between you and me," he said. "I'm not. I'm here to meet you and Hikari."
"If you're not a doctor, then you can't know for sure," I exclaimed, feeling the panic growing once more.
"But I am sure," the man insisted. "You made a mistake, Taichi. But so long as you've learned from it, you are already a better person for it."
"What are you talking about? How do you know about that?" I said shakily. How could he know what I did? And if he really did know about it, why did he think I was a good person? "It was really, really bad…"
"I do not blame you, and neither does Hikari," he said.
"But you can't know that," I cried, tears threatening to fall down my face. "She's unconscious because of me."
"You are scared," the man told me, as if I didn't already know that. "And that's a good thing. You can't feel courage without the presence of fear. And that's what you're going to need to find now. You're inner courage. Your parents are just as scared as you, and while they ought to be supporting you as well, this time, maybe you will have to be the brave one. When Hikari wakes up—and she will—she's going to want to see her big, strong, courageous older brother. She'll be happy to know that you're looking out for her."
"But I'm not brave," I told him. "I'm too scared to be brave."
"The courage is inside you," he promised. "I can see that you have it in abundance. Find it and bring it out. You'll need to find something worth trying for, Taichi. Might I suggest your sister?"
"I can do that," I decided. "I think."
"Good," the man said, patting my head. "There are great things ahead for the both of you, and that is just the attitude you're going to need."
I didn't have time to ask what he meant by that though, since I saw Dad come out of the room my sister was in. Mom came out after him and stopped to talk to the nearest doctor. Dad didn't though, he came directly towards me. I could just tell he was going to yell at me. His wild panic was gone—so the man must've been right about Hikari staying alive—and all that was left was his anger. I was in really big trouble.
I turned to ask the man if I really was the right kid—cause it would suck really bad for him to have talked to the wrong one—but he was gone. I caught sight of him slipping into Hikari's room.
I took a deep calming breath. I could do this. So what if Dad was really, really angry with me? I could handle it. I deserved to be in trouble, and it didn't matter how scared I was, because I was a better person already for having learned from my mistakes, just like the man said. And fear didn't matter so much when I was doing this for Hikari. Because I wouldn't ever do anything like this to her again, I just had to prove it to her…and to myself.
I kept my head held high when Dad finally reached me, and boy did he let me have it.
Hikari Yagami (1995):
I woke up when I heard someone talking to me, saying my name over and over. I felt hot, and there was a lot of sweat all over me, and the sheets were sticking to me. I slowly opened my eyes and looked around, frightened. This wasn't my bedroom! Where was I? The walls were very clean, and there was no bed for Taichi to sleep on right above me... I looked down and saw that I was wearing a silly polka doted dress, and there were a few wires on me...
And then I saw the man who had woke me up with his calm voice. He was an old man wearing doctor clothes. Was I in the hospital again?
"Hikari," he said with a big smile, "How do you feel?"
"Hot." I said using my tired voice which broke in the middle of the word. "I'm good." What had happened? Why was I there?
"You were in the park," The man said as if he could read my mind. Oh. That was right. The park... Taichi and I had been playing, and then I fell over... I wanted to keep playing though—I wanted real bad to get back up and play with him because he wanted me to, and I didn't want to let him down. There was nothing worse than upsetting Taichi. I didn't want him to be sad.
"That's right." I nodded, trying to sit up but falling back down quickly. My arms were very weak and my seeing went black.
"Just relax Hikari," the doctor said kindly, "You'll be alright if you just stay calm."
"Okay," I nodded, doing as I was told, "You aren't my usual doctor. Where is he?"
"Oh he'll be around." The doctor said. "To tell the truth, I'm not a doctor." I thought I should have been scared, but I just wasn't. The man made me feel really happy and warm. "I'm a friend," He said, "I've come to talk to you."
"Okay," I smiled as my head started to hurt more. "What do you want to talk about?"
"You," He said, "I want to talk about you and the light."
"It is really bright." I said quietly.
"No, no," The man laughed, shaking his head, "Hikari... I'm going to say this very simply—"
"Is it because I'm little and you don't trust me?" I asked. "Everyone always talks to me like I'm a baby. They think I'm scared and weak." I didn't know I thought that. I didn't know I felt that way, I was just talking by accident.
"I trust you." The man said, "And you're not a baby. You're a very wise girl." I tried to smile at him again, but I just started coughing again. "Hikari... are you okay?"
"I told you," I said, "I'm good. I'm okay."
"No you aren't." He said, "You're such a brave girl, but you're sick. You just need to ask for help. You need to know that no one is judging you—and you have to think of yourself."
"I don't understand." I said.
The man looked to the door nervously when we heard footsteps. He looked back to me and talked quicker, "Hikari, you have an exceptional amount of light and goodness inside of you. But everyone has a balance of dark and light. That means you have very much darkness as well. You will have to overcome the darkness."
I had dark inside me? Well that was probably because there wasn't an electrical outlet to power any light inside... the light didn't reach my insides.
"The darkness is your weakness." He said, "Your mother picked the light, but that means that darkness will harm you. Darkness isn't as dangerous as it seems though. You just have to know how to use it right. Hikari Yagami, you are not alone. Everyone around you wants to help you, and you won't let them. You're not alone—you can let others help you."
"Like when?" I asked.
"Always," the man said even faster. He was scared, and I thought maybe he wasn't supposed to be there. "Just don't be afraid to let your true light shine. Don't keep all of your problems to yourself, others will help you. You don't always have to be the one to help them."
The doorknob shook for a second, but then stopped, and I heard my doctor's voice on the other side. The man leaned toward me and talked quietly, "Hikari, you are not alone." He said again. And then he was gone and the door was opening, and the doctor was leading my mom and dad and brother into the room.
"You're okay!" Mommy screamed, running to my side and falling to my knees. She took my hand and kissed it before pressing it against her forehead and crying. Daddy came to my other side and took my other hand, but I was looking to Taichi who had his hands in his pockets as he looked to his feet and kicked the ground nervously.
"Taichi," Daddy said, "Do you have something to say?"
Taichi looked up at me and I saw that he was very sad, "I'm so sorry Hikari."
"That's okay." I said as my head started hurting really bad. "I'm alright..." I looked to the doctor, "When can I go home?"
"We're not sure yet," He said with a small smile, "Soon, I promise."
"I just want to go play." I said with a small cough. "Taichi wants to play. I'm not good but maybe one day I'll beat him." Taichi looked up to me and shook his head.
"Not likely." He laughed.
My head was hurting really bad, but I didn't care. "Well maybe we can play something that I can win at too?"
"I'd like that." Taichi nodded. I could tell Mom and Dad didn't want me to play with Taichi anymore, but I wanted to still. Any time with Taichi was happy time.
Yamato Ishida (1995):
I sat on the stool in the corner of the room as Mom moved about the room, packing all of Takeru's things. Takeru was running around in circles in front of me telling all about his morning.
"And then I got pancakes!" He cheered excitedly. That was his favourite food so it made me smile that he was so happy. He had a bandage wrapped around his head from where Dad had caused the chair to hit him. "And Auntie's puppy is so mean! He's like... so big. So big! He's..." Takeru ran to his bed and reached as high as he could. "This big!"
"Oh he is not!" Mom laughed as Takeru sat down and slid off of the bed. "He's just as tall as you Takeru."
"But that's pretty big." Takeru said with a smile, "Because I'm real big. Right?"
"Of course," Mom said, snatching him toward her with her arm and kissing his forehead. "My brave little man."
"One day I'll be big like Amato." Takeru grinned as he pushed from Mom's grasp. "Super big and cool."
"Is 'super big' a good thing?" I asked.
"Yep!" Takeru cheered, clapping his hands together.
Mom stood up suddenly and looked to me.
"That's everything." She said, "We're going to have to go soon." She was looking directly at me, "Unless you want to pack your things too?"
"No." I said as firmly as I could. "I'm not leaving Dad all alone."
"But if you don't come then I'll never see you..." Mom said quietly.
"And if I go with you, Dad will never see any of us." I said. "You have Takeru, he gets me."
"Yamato..." Mom said, clearly holding back tears. "Don't you want to see me?" She was making me feel really guilty and I wasn't sure if she was doing it on purpose or just because she really felt that way. But either way my mind was made up. I couldn't leave Dad all alone. I'd been up most of the night listening to him crying... and I couldn't help but feel really sorry for him.
Were they really going to get a divorce though? That wasn't really fair to Takeru and I. We hadn't been given a vote. Weren't people supposed to try to work things out instead of breaking up?
"I do want to see you." I told her, "I love you Mom... but I love Dad too, and I need to make sure he stays happy."
Mom put her hand over her mouth as she strode across the room and fell to her knees in front of me. "I love you Yamato... and please do that. Do you what you can to keep your father happy... don't let his love die."
I had no idea what that meant, but to me it meant that she still cared about him... but if they got a divorce I wasn't going to be okay with it. They could work things out. I knew they could... but once they ended things for good then there was no going back. Were they even thinking about what this would do to Takeru and I?
Takeru would have to move, and be taken away from his father. I'd have no mother and no Takeru... Not to mention what I'd learned from my teacher's divorce last year. Apparently it distorted children's perceptions of love. Apparently her kids were going to need someone to teach them what love really meant. She only told us because she wanted us all to be prepared if our parents divorced because divorce rates were going up...
Did that mean I was going to have to find some expert on love who could fix it all for me? And what if I ran into a problem in my relationships in the future? What was I supposed to do? Just end them?
"I promise I won't." I said to her, hoping that made sense to what she'd said. I hugged her as she wrapped her arms around me.
"I'm going to go say goodbye to your father," Mom said to me, "You can have a moment alone with Takeru if you'd like."
I nodded as Mom closed the door of the room, slipping out into the hallway with the final box of Takeru's toys.
Takeru looked to me with a smile and then looked around. Slowly his smile faded, "There's nothing to play with." He said sadly.
"We can just talk..." I said, "I know you like to talk."
"Okay!" Takeru said, rushing across the room and grabbing the second stool, and dragging it toward mine. He climbed up onto the seat and sat down next to me. "Mommy said that we won't see Daddy much anymore. Is he dead?"
"No." I said quickly, biting my tongue. He didn't understand... "Mom and Dad don't love each other anymore."
"Do they love me?" He asked.
"Yes." I said, cracking a smile, "They do love you."
"That's good..." Takeru said, "So when will we see him?"
"I'm going to see him every day." I said.
"Yay!" Takeru smiled as he gripped the edge of his stool and kicked his feet happily. "The same as now!"
"No." I said, shaking my head, "Not the same. Everything is different. You won't see Dad every day. I won't see Mom every day. And you won't see me every day."
"What?" Takeru asked loudly, his feet hanging still. "No I don't like that. I'll just tell Mommy to fix it."
"She can't fix it—" I was interrupted by a loud smash and the door flying open. Mom was standing in the doorway.
"Takeru, come along sweetheart, we're leaving." She said firmly and she strode across the room and picked up Takeru. "Would you like to walk us to the car Yamato?"
"Sure..." I nodded.
She led the way out of the bedroom and to the front door. She opened it and stepped outside. I looked back to the kitchen table where a vase was broken. Dad was sitting down with his head in his hands.
"I'll be right back." I assured him. He looked up to me, shocked. Had he thought I'd just leave him? That could never happen. I loved him a lot. I turned around and followed Mom out the door, and down to the street where she set Takeru down to hug me. She held me tight and kissed my forehead.
"I love you." She said to me.
"I love you too Mom." I told her. She quickly picked up Takeru and put him in his seat in the back.
So just because Mom and Dad had a fight, Takeru and I had less time to say goodbye? That wasn't fair... And this was the last time I'd see them before they left my life...
I felt a tight squeezing feeling in my stomach and my heart as the door was closed on Takeru. Mom rushed around the other side of the car and got in herself, closing the door behind her. She started the car as Takeru did his best to roll down the window.
"I love you Amato!" He called out of the little crack he'd managed, just as Mom started driving away.
"I... love you too..." I said quietly as I watched the car drive off.
I wanted to turn around and walk back inside. I wanted to run after them. I couldn't make up my mind... but soon it was made up for me. Takeru and my mother were gone. They'd left me here. They'd left Dad. We were alone now...
I felt my legs shaking as I watched them go... I tried to turn around but instead just fell.
Someone caught me though.
"It's alright Yamato." The man who caught me said. He scooped me into his arms and carried me toward the steps to our home. He set me down and then sat next to me.
He was old... a crazy old guy had just helped me...
"Thank you." I said.
"You are quite welcome," He said with a smile.
We sat rather silently for a bit. I wanted to go back inside since I was a little scared of him, but he didn't seem very evil, so I just sat there, waiting for him to talk. But he didn't...
"Who are you?" I asked him finally.
"That is of no importance," The man said, "I'm here to remind you of yourself though."
"What do you mean?" I asked him.
"I mean... you're not alone Yamato." He said, "I know you feel that way, and I know you will have a hard time thinking otherwise, but just always hold onto those words. You're not alone."
Who was this guy? And why did he know what was going on inside my head? Could he read my mind? Was he an angel? Was he God?
"I know I'm not alone... I have my father." I said slowly.
"And your friends from school." He reminded me.
But I didn't count them as friends. They all seemed kind of nice, but they were also pretty annoying most of the time. Takeru was my only friend.
"My best friend was just taken away by my own mother." I whispered.
"You will see him again," The man said. "Do not worry about that. " He put his hand on my shoulder and a strange energy shot through me. "Just hold onto those around you Yamato... It is all rather crucial."
"If you say so..." I said as the door behind me opened up. I looked to Dad who was standing in the doorway and smiled at him.
"Come along Yamato," He said. I turned to say goodbye to the man first but he was gone already so I jumped to my feet and ran up the stairs and into my Dad's arms. I couldn't be alone... not with him here with me.
Takeru Takaishi (1995):
"We're driving and were going away!" I sang as I played with the toys Mommy had left in the back seat for me.
I didn't want to leave Amato and Daddy behind, but Mommy said it was for the best. I didn't want it to be, but I knew Mommy was smart. And it was okay, because I was going to see them soon anyway. I saw them all the time—every time I woke up Amato would be there.
"Hello," I said in a funny voice, using the big monster toy Amato had given me. I picked up the smaller bug toy that I got for Christmas. "Hello!" The bug said in a girl voice. "I am so scared."
"Why is that?" the monster asked.
"I've lost my brother!" The bug said. "He's all gone!"
"It's okay!" The monster said, "You'll see him again soon. Tomorrow maybe!"
I dropped the toys and looked to Mommy who was crying a little in the front seat as she drove the car. "Mommy what's wrong?"
"Nothing sweetheart." She said, "Nothing is wrong..."
"Can we see Amato tomorrow?" I asked her, "I miss him. And Daddy."
"No, we can't." She said in her mean Mommy voice.
"Why not?" I asked, super mad.
"We have to take a break from seeing them." She said. "Maybe Yamato can come over and visit us in a couple of weeks."
"Is that tomorrow?" I asked.
"No," she said, "It's at least fourteen sleeps away." She said.
"THAT'S SO MANY!" I said as loud as I could. I was really mad at Mommy. She was being mean! I wanted to see Amato!
"Takeru, you need to calm down, you just don't understand." She said.
"I want to see Amato!" I yelled, "Mommy! Please!" I didn't mean to, but I had accidentally started to cry... again.
"Takeru, we can't." She said as she turned into the place where she sometimes bought chocolate for me when she gave the car a drink of gazoleen. It was a big word Amato had taught me. I was so smart.
"I want to!" I said. "NOW!"
"WE CAN'T!" She screamed back. I leaned back in my seat and pulled my legs up. Why was she being so mean? I looked to her and she put her fingers through her hair and then turned to me. "I'm so sorry for yelling at you Takeru. Sweetheart... I'm sorry. You just have to understand that Mommy and Daddy are going through Adult problems. You don't understand, I know, but I need you to hang on and join the ride. It's going to be hard, but I know you can handle it."
"Because I'm a big boy?"
"The biggest." She smiled at me and poked my nose. I giggled as she undid her seatbelt. "I'll be right back. I'm locking the doors—don't unlock them this time."
"I promise I won't..." I sighed. I liked unlocking the doors, they made a clicking noise.
Mom smiled at me and got out of the car. I watched her through the window as she made the car not thirsty anymore. She then smiled at me through the window before running toward the building to buy me chocolate I hoped.
"Hello."
"AHHHHHH!" I screamed as loud as I could as I looked to the man in the seat next to me. "Oh thank goodness. Santa, I thought you were a meany!"
"I'm not Santa Clause!" The man said in a 'huff', like Mommy said I do a lot.
"Why are you wearing a dress?" I asked, not paying any attention to his anger.
"Not a dress..." He said slowly.
"It's a dress."
"It's not a dress!" He said.
"It is." I argued. I would win, I was really good at continuing things until I won. Amato gave up easily though.
"Fine."
Told ya.
"Just listen," He said, "Yamato, your brother, he's upset because he lost you. You're his best friend Takeru. But you're upset too, aren't you?"
"Yeah." I said. "I miss him. And I don't think I'll ever see him again. Fourteen sleeps is so far away."
"You'll see your brother less and less Takeru," He said, "But you still love him just as much. The two of you share a very strong bond. You will love each other forever. And if you just have hope, and hang in there, one day things will be better..."
"Thanks Santa. You really know what to say!" I smiled as he growled. I reached over and grabbed his dress. "Where did you get this? I think Mommy will like it for her birthday!" The man took my hand gently and placed it by my side, but my hand was really warm suddenly.
"Your mother is coming." He said, pointing out the window. I turned and smiled as she came out of the store with a chocolate bar!
I looked back to the man to tell him how happy I was, but he was gone—I didn't care though. I got chocolate!
Jou Kido (1995):
"Why do you have to be so mean to them?" I heard Mommy say to Father. I was sitting on the other side of their bedroom door, listening to them.
"Because they need to learn." Father said. "They will never grow into young men correctly if I don't treat them like one now."
"Isao," Mommy said, "You're hurting them more than you know."
"I beg your pardon?" Father said snapping at her.
"You make them feel worthless." She said.
"Did they tell you that?" Father asked.
"No, they didn't have to." Mommy said. "I'm their mother. I know these things."
She was lying for me. I knew that because I had told her. I had told her that when Father yells at me and tells me that I do everything wrong and tells me I'm a waste of space... that it doesn't make me want to be a doctor. It just makes me want to cry.
"Well you're wrong." He told her. "I know them too. I'm their Father. My father treated me this way, and now I'll treat them this way too. They'll grow to be doctors and they'll like it."
"Isao." Mommy's usual pretty, and soft voice was now angry. "You need to stop putting so much pressure on them. If they want to be doctors then they will be. It is no longer your choice. Nor was it ever."
"Are you defying me?"
"If defending my children's rights means that I'm defying you, then yes. I am." Mommy said.
I could hear Father growling, the way he did with me all the time before he hit me so I jumped to my feet and ran down the hall, throwing open Shin's bedroom door and rushing over to him. I shook him to wake him up but he was already awake.
"Go away Jou." Shin said. "They're just fighting."
"But I'm scared." I said quietly. "They're going to get a divorce."
"No they're not." Shin said, "And they won't so long as you do what Father says. Just study hard, be a good doctor okay?"
"I don't want to!" I hissed, "I just want to be married!" I saw Shin smile at me before he pushed me away by putting his hand on my face.
"Just go away." He said, laying down in bed. I crossed my arms and pouted at him before slipping quietly out of his room and into Shuu's bedroom before I remembered that he was at a sleepover. I ran across the hallway and into my own bedroom, and opened the window.
I crawled out onto the roof of the porch, a place Father and Mommy hated me being because it wasn't safe. But right then it seemed like the only safe place. If Shin could hear them fighting in his room, then I'd hear it too. I was closer. But out there I couldn't hear them.
I sat alone for what seemed like four whole minutes and a bunch of seconds when I turned and saw a man sitting next to me.
I wanted to scream at the sight of him, but no sound was coming out. I stood up and fell back over, rolling down the sloped porch roof. Soon the man's hand was wrapped around my wrist and he pulled me up to sit next to him. He was very strong.
"Jou Kido." He said in the way Mommy said when she was giving me trouble. He set me down and I rubbed my wrist where he'd touched it. It felt weird... "You're not supposed to be out here."
"I know." I told him. "I just want to not hear them fighting."
"You know why they are fighting don't you?" He asked me.
"Because I'm a bad kid." I said nodding.
"No Jou," The man said, shaking his head. "It's because they have so much in store for you. Both of them want so much for you and your brothers. They want you to be the best you can be."
"No, Mommy wants that." I said, "Father thinks I'd be best at being a doctor."
"And what do you think?" The man asked.
"I faint when I see blood." I said. He laughed a little. "I don't want to be a doctor. I'd be so bad at it... I'd never win."
"Jou," The man said, "Your parents have a great deal of faith in you. And you have so little in yourself. But if you have faith in yourself then you'd be the greatest doctor ever."
"You think so?" I asked.
"I know so." The man said. "You're putting up with a lot right now aren't you?" I nodded. "It is only going to get worse Jou." That wasn't making me feel better... "But I have faith in you. Your Mother has faith in you, your father as well. Do you?"
I nodded, but when I turned to say 'yes' the man was gone.
I crawled back toward my bedroom window and heard that they had stopped fighting. I climbed through the window and closed it tightly before latching it and drawing the curtains and pulling the box of tacks in front of it. Just in case a burglar tried to sneak in. I had to be safe.
I crawled into bed and sighed. Maybe I would be a good doctor... but I knew that I would have to follow what I wanted, and what I believed in. That mysterious vanishing man had taught me that... And no one, not even Mommy or Father could change that.
Koushiro Izumi (1996):
It was quite awhile after bedtime, but I knew mother wouldn't mind me getting up for a drink of water. I had deduced that thirst was the reason for failing to fall asleep. The hallway was dark. The only light came from under the living room door. I didn't mind though. I'd traversed this hallway countless times in my life, and knew that my memory would not allow me to trip or stumble. And the closer I stepped to the living room door, the easier it was for my vision to locate the desk that held the basket used to collect our mail and the shoe rack on the opposite wall that displayed an array of suitable and sensible footwear.
My thirst, however, was forgotten the instant I reached the door. Mother and Father were behind it, and under normal circumstances, I wouldn't have felt the need to listen to their private discussions, but my name caught my attention.
"Darling, one of these days we're going to have to tell Koushiro the truth about his birth," my mother told my father gently. I wished I'd realized my ailment sooner. I needed to know the context of this statement. I needed to know that what she meant. Had I been a part of a difficult birth? Did I nearly die due to strangulation from the umbilical cord? My curiosity got the better of me, and rather than leaving them to their discussion, as I knew I ought to, I found myself pressing against the door, trying to peer through the space between it and the wall, wanting more than anything to see the two of them as well.
"Couldn't we wait just a bit longer," Dad protested. I didn't want that. I wanted them to inform me of my mysterious birth now. I needed to know. "I'm afraid that if we tell him now, it'll be too big of a shock. I wouldn't want it to affect his school work."
It wouldn't affect it, I wanted to say. I just wanted to know. I wouldn't go into shock.
"But sometimes I wonder if he doesn't sense it," Mom countered. "He's smart. I have a strange feeling that he knows he was adopted, that he's not really our child."
I threw my hand over my mouth to stifle my gasp. To think that my mother—if I could even continue to call her as such—was in there praising my intelligence, while I was standing there completely blindsided. How could I have known? I knew I was different from them, but I'd studied genetics, and figured I was a compilation of suppressed genes in both the family lines. Not once did I consider that I wasn't theirs, that they weren't mine.
"Why do you think that dear?" Dad asked quickly. "Did he say anything?"
"No," Mom sighed. "It's just a mother's intuition."
I couldn't handle being there anymore. I decided to forgo my water in favour of the sanctity of my bedroom. I hurried into my room, and closed the door firmly and quietly before heading directly to the computer Dad had installed in my room when he realized I wasn't being challenged enough in school. I technically wasn't supposed to use it unless I asked—and had completed my homework—but I decided to make an exception to that rule.
I'd been wrong. I said I wouldn't be shocked, but I was. And I was horrified that they'd kept such a momentous secret from me for so long. Did they enjoy watching me go about my day blissfully unaware that I was a stranger not meant to be a part of this family?
I shook my head. Mom wanted to tell me. She knew I needed all the information to make a logical and proper opinion on everything. But was that why she wanted to tell me? Or was I not being good enough? Was I not smart enough? Did she want to get rid of me, and had to tell me why first?
As soon as my computer had loaded, I pulled up a search engine and typed a search for adoptions. I needed to know more about the subject. I couldn't handle such a discovery without knowing everything I could about it.
My family wasn't my family. Not really. It was hard to take in, even after an hour's worth of reading. I belonged to somebody else once upon a time. That's how adoptions worked. I wondered what happened to my birth parents. Did my mother have to give me up, or was it a conscious decision? Was she too young to handle a baby or maybe my real parents just didn't want me. I wasn't good enough for them. But maybe, they couldn't keep me, because something had happened to them. This choice hurt the most, knowing that they could have wanted me, but I lost them before I had a chance to know them.
Just as I was about to click on another promising looking website, a little box appeared on the screen. A chat box…
Gennai: Hello Koushiro. It seems you've learned of your past?
Perplexed by this Gennai's apparent knowledge of my situation, I hastily typed a reply.
K Izumi: How did you find me?
Gennai: I've been watching over you for quite some time now, Koushiro. You are a very bright boy.
K Izumi: Do I know you?
Gennai: Not yet.
I stared at the screen in confusion. Was he implying that he was from the future? Or that perhaps, he was going to manipulate the future so as we were to meet at a later date? Either way, I wasn't sure I could believe him.
Gennai: Your parents want you. They would not have taken you in if they did not.
K Izumi: How do you know all of this?
Gennai: Knowledge is only the first step to acceptance. Once you know enough about this, you have to talk to your parents, Koushiro. Knowledge is powerful, but it is how you use it that will define you.
Gennai has logged off.
It looked like I wouldn't be getting any of my answers from him. Not today at least. I would have to open myself to the possibility that the two of us would meet in the future, and hopefully, I would get my answers then.
But for the time being, I'd have to do my best, always, to be good enough for my mother and father. Because they did want me, and they deserved the best son I could possibly be for their kindness.
Mimi Tachikawa (1996):
I couldn't believe it. I thought these things only happened on the television. I was all alone in the super market. My mom and dad actually left me behind! I was lost. And everywhere I looked there were strange and scary people looking for food to buy. That's how I'd gotten lost. I stopped to look at the watermelons. Mom and Dad always brought me with them to the super market. Every single Saturday. It was our very own family tradition. As usual, Mom and Dad were so caught up in their love for one another—something I hoped to find one day, since it was so beautiful—that they didn't even realize that I'd stopped following them. It was a good reason though. I wanted to see which watermelon was the biggest. I found it too. But when I went to tell Mom and Dad the good news, I saw that they were gone.
They'd abandoned me, left me to face the horrors of the world alone. I almost cried at the thought. It was the perfect plot for a television show, but I didn't want to be on television. I wanted to be shopping with my Mom and Dad. They'd promised to bring me to pick out new shoes after we got the groceries!
I looked back and forth, and jumped up and down, trying to catch sight of them. Nothing. I started to worry. What if they hadn't noticed I wasn't there? They did that sometimes. They were just so in love. It wasn't their fault. I was just annoying and loud. They had to tune me out somehow. Unfortunately, they were really good at tuning me out.
I realized that I couldn't just stand there. People were staring at me a lot more now. I watched a lot of television. I knew about the dangers of a young and very pretty girl being left alone. Someone was bound to want to snatch me up. I was the prettiest little girl in my whole neighbourhood. Mom told me so. Dad reckoned I was the prettiest in the town, but he couldn't tell me who told him that, so I wasn't sure I could believe him. But secretly, I hoped he was right. It would really be a big accomplishment, you know? To be so pretty. And a lot of work. Everyone at school already wanted to be my friend. I was so popular.
I kind of forgot to leave the watermelon stand while I flattered myself, but remembered soon enough, and started to walk quickly—a lady doesn't run, Mom told me so—through the groups of people, trying to catch sight of Dad. He was the tallest guy I knew, and his black hair was the shiniest I'd ever seen. It shouldn't have been so hard to find him. But I couldn't spot him, so I switched to looking for Mom. She always wore really pretty, fluffy dresses. She said they were the style in America in the 1920's. I had to believe her, since I didn't really know what any of that meant, and she was always at the height of fashion. I trusted her opinion and no one else's. Today's dress had been pink, and her shock of orange hair was twisted at the bottom into a little swooping curl. I thought she might've been wearing a headband…but I couldn't remember.
"Oh no," I gasped. I was already forgetting what Mom and Dad looked like! I'd never find them now. I'd be doomed to live on the streets for all eternity. I'd seen what dirt could do to my skin, and it wasn't pretty. The only bright side to that was that if I wasn't pretty anymore, nobody would try to snatch me up. But Mom and Dad wouldn't be able to recognize me…
I really needed to keep looking.
I rushed down the nearest aisle, but didn't spot anyone familiar looking. I was starting to panic. My breathing sped up, and my heart hammered. Oh no! I was having a heart attack like those people on Mom's medical shows. I was gonna die. In a super market. What a way to go.
While I was lamenting my pending demise, a really old, gross, wrinkly man walked over to me. He really needed a better stylist. He had a grey ponytail on the top of his head, but he was bald everywhere else, and he was wearing a tacky, dark blue dress thing that looked a little bit like a bath robe, and bright red shoes. He looked pretty bad, but nobody else seemed to notice.
And then I realized he was looking right at me.
"Please," I begged. "Don't snatch me up. I don't wanna die."
"Calm yourself, Mimi," he told me. "You aren't going to die."
"Are you sure?" I questioned, really hoping he was right.
"I'm sure. You are destined for great things, after all," he promised. Great things? I liked the sounds of it. I'd probably be a millionaire movie star by day and a fashion savvy super spy at night. I sounded awesome.
"You mustn't panic though," he continued. "Though things seem bleak, they aren't nearly as desperate as you feel they are."
I didn't really believe him. You can never trust the word of a fashion-criminal. Mom told me so. But I kind of wanted to trust him…just a little, tiny bit.
"When times seem hard, you must look to yourself," he added. "To what is inside of you, and who you are as a person. Only then will you be able to feel the strength enough to succeed."
"You um…kind of lost me a little while ago," I told him.
"Let me try to explain it better," he suggested. I nodded. He really needed to. I wasn't dumb, but I wasn't exactly what you'd call a genius either. "Be true to yourself. Be pure, undiluted Mimi. Can you do that?"
"Of course I can do that," I scoffed. "I am Mimi. I rock at being Mimi."
"Good," he said with a laugh. "Even if things don't end the way you hoped for them to, you'll be able to feel good about yourself, knowing you were true to who you are."
"It sounds really nice and all," I commented. "But why are you telling me this?"
"Because it is something you need to know," he said, putting a hand on my shoulder. A wave of…something passed through me. I had to close my eyes to try and get a hold of myself. And when I opened them again, ready to tell Mr Creepy-Old-Stranger that one does not simply touch a young lady like that, I saw that he was gone. I looked around, but there was no sign of him. Just like my parents. I sighed. Just my luck. I lost another grown up, however ugly he dressed.
And he was talking a bunch of nonsense. How was being myself supposed to help me right now? And what if I didn't find Mom and Dad? How was I supposed to feel good about being true to myself if I was sleeping in the gutters?
I wasn't that's how.
Besides, what even made me Mimi at all? I was annoying, beautiful, a handful, fashion forward, loud…
I was loud. Really loud.
I quickly searched for the perfect spot. It had to be out in the open. A spot where everyone could see me. But I wasn't that tall. It would have to be higher up, so Mom and Dad could spot me in the crowd. And I found that perfect spot. It was a display of crushed tomato cans. They were lined up in a picturesque pyramid. After quickly scanning the crowd for the store's employees, and thankfully not spotting any, I carefully, and ever so slowly, climbed my way close to the top of the pyramid. And once I was at the top, I let out the loudest, most screechy scream I had ever done in my life.
I watched the crowd, hoping to catch sight of my parents. It was really interesting, to see what they did when a pretty girl started wailing on top of a pile of cans. A lot of them froze mid-step, and some of the others looked at me, and then ran away with their hands over their ears. And two people, the two I wanted to find, started running towards the pile, yelling at me to get down. After ten whole seconds of screaming, I finally found my parents. I stopped screaming, and climbed down. Once I was down far enough, Dad picked me off of the pile, and led me and Mom—whose face was bright red—out of the building, without any groceries.
"We can never show our faces here again," Mom decided.
I didn't care though, because that man had been right. Being Mimi was awesome.
Sora Takenouchi (1998):
"Sweetheart," Mom said quietly into my ear as she leaned toward me from her seat in the still car. "I love you."
"I love you too..." I said. She kissed my head and leaned back to the steering wheel and pressed down on the gas pedal of the car. "I just don't see why boys are so stupid."
"Boys have always been stupid Sora." Mom said with a laugh. "It's in their nature. They always have been, and they always will be stupid. But that's just who they are. We can't penalize them or be upset with them for being their own gender. Though we do anyway... my point, is that boys are silly, and we can't help that."
"But I want to." I said slowly, "I want to be with someone who actually understands my feelings, you know? I want to be with a smart person, but also athletic, but not more athletic than me. Do you see what I'm saying?"
"I do," She said with a wink as she slowed the car down for a red traffic light. "But we can't always get what we want Sora. But if you try really hard, you'll get what you need." I mouthed the end of her sentence with her. She said it so often.
It just didn't apply to what I wanted. I wanted... what I wanted—and not what I needed. If I only got what I needed wouldn't that mean I only got water and bread and a home? And maybe a soccer ball? That didn't seem like an overly fair life to me.
Though every time I thought about it I did realize how lucky I was to have the things I did. My mother was a very kind woman, and I loved her. I loved my father a lot too. They provided me with a home, food, toys, shelter, a room, and most of all, love. I had more than I needed already.
I didn't need a boy, no one really did.
But if no one needed a boy, then where were babies supposed to come from?
Ugh... I did need a boy.
Mom was driving me to soccer practice at the park. I wasn't even sure how many people would show up though since coach had called a last minute practice so we could prepare to win the tournament.
"Sora," Mom said suddenly, "Your father and I were talking about you last night."
Uh oh... "About what?"
"About soccer..." Mom said slowly. "We were wondering if perhaps this should be the last year you played."
"Nope." I said firmly.
"Well, Sora if you'd listen—" Mom tried.
"I'm not listening." I told her as simply as I could so she'd understand. A lot of times when it was something I really cared about she wouldn't understand. "I'm not quitting soccer, it's not open for debate."
"What if you get hurt?" Mom asked.
"Well that's part of the risk of having fun, Mom." I told her sharply, "I might get hurt, but I'm not going to let that stop me from having fun with my friends." I looked out the window and saw that we were pulling up into the park. Oh good, now she'd have time to think over her mistake and let me play next year.
"Sora..." Mom sighed as she stopped the car. "I'm sorry... I just don't see how I could let you play... It's dangerous."
"I'll give you time to think it over," I said with a smile as I patted mom on the shoulder, "But remember, soccer is my favourite thing in the world. It would be like taking flowers away from you."
"Maybe you could like flowers too?" Mom asked as I opened the door.
"No, I don't really think that they're my thing." I said.
"Well you're going to have to find a new thing Sora because you're not playing soccer." Mom said firmly.
My stomach twisted quickly and I bit my bottom lip and hopped out of the car, slamming the door behind me.
Who was she to tell me to not follow my dreams? Who was she to take away everything I loved? Dad would hear reason. At least until I actually got hurt—I'd have to just be really careful.
But I couldn't help but be mad at her... she just couldn't do that... that wasn't like her—being so mean like that. I didn't want to play with flowers all day. Sure they were pretty, but they weren't exciting—all they did was sit still all the time, and smell weird.
I looked over my shoulder and saw my mother sitting still in her car and looking down. She was sad...
I shook my head and turned away, running over the hill to reveal a few people playing soccer. The only problem was that there were only two of them, and one of them wasn't on our team.
I felt my face turn red instantly as I hurried across the grass to greet him. He was talking to one of the girls on my team.
"Hey Taichi! Hello Misa!" I said brightly as I slowed down to a stop beside the two of them.
"See you then," Misa said, wrapping up their conversation. She leaned in and kissed Taichi on the cheek before smiling at me and running off.
My heart seemed to shatter instantly as Taichi turned to me with a smile and a thumbs up. My stomach was twisting around inside. I tried to smile back at him but I couldn't. Everything seemed cold and wrong. I let my soccer bag slip out of my hands.
"Are you okay Sora?" He asked me, "What's wrong?"
"Nothing, it's just—" I tried.
"Hey Taichi!" A boy called, "Hurry up!"
Taichi turned toward them and put up one finger, then turned back to me, "You were saying?"
"Just go." I told him. "I'm fine."
"If you say so..." He said, flashing me a smile before running off.
I reached down and grabbed the bag that lay on the ground and then moved across the grass slowly until I found the bleachers. I climbed to the top of them and sat down in the corner. I slowly leaned my head against the metal railing next to me and started to cry.
I really wasn't used to crying... I tried my best to avoid it at all costs... but I'd never felt this way before. I didn't have to be familiar with this feeling to know that it was heart break.
I was so sure I loved him. So sure that he was the one! And yet he didn't feel the same... And no wonder. I was a mess. Who wanted a girl who could fall apart and cry so easily? But I wouldn't have been crying if it wasn't for boys. Maybe I didn't need a boy...
"Boys are stupid." I said aloud to myself to try and regain control of my emotions.
"Not all boys, I dare say."
I jumped at the sound of a man's voice, and looked sharply away from him. I used my sleeve to wipe away my tears and then turned to him. He was an old man with a pure white ponytail on the top of his head. He was wearing some kind of wizarding robe from those old movies my dad liked so much.
"You're probably just as stupid." I said firmly. I knew it was rude, but I just had to keep assuring myself that boys were stupid.
"I'm actually quite intelligent Sora." He said. How did he know my name? I didn't have a chance to ask him though, "What you're feeling is quite normal I assure you, but I'm afraid this won't be the last time you feel this way. But you mustn't give up faith Sora. Love may sting painfully, but the world has a beautiful plan for you. Many doors will open and close until you find yourself. And when that happens love will reveal itself to you."
"How long will that take?" I asked quietly.
"So long." The man chuckled. That wasn't funny though, so I wasn't sure why. "You mustn't let it get to you though Sora. Wipe those tears and stay strong. You may not have found the love you were looking for but your parents still love you."
"If they really loved me then they'd give me the baby sibling I wanted." I said firmly, "And they'd let me play soccer."
"I have no power to determine your chances of getting a sibling my dear," The man said, "But as for the soccer ordeal... trust your mother, and trust yourself. Find some middle ground. She really does love you Sora... you must remember that." He placed his hand on my shoulder and I shuddered from the strange warmth that shot through me.
"But..." I looked away from him and sighed, how was I supposed to stay strong when something so simple had caused me to cry? I looked back to the man, but he was gone.
I jumped to my feet and looked around for him. All I found was the faint hum of a harmonica, and a large truck driving into the park with a rock band's name on the side of it.
"Sora!"
I looked down and saw Taichi waving to me.
"Hello Taichi." I said, wiping my tears quickly, "What's up?"
"I was wondering if you wanted to play soccer with us since your team's not showing up..." He said.
"I'd love to." I said with a smile as I hurried down the bleachers to join him and his stupid boy friends. Sure he was annoying, but he was still my best friend... even if he did make me sad... "Stupid Taichi..."
Ken Ichijouji (1998):
It was hard, being the younger brother. Osamu got all of Mom and Dad's attention. I just wasn't as smart as he was. I couldn't keep up with the stuff he was always talking about. Mom would sigh, trying to hide her disappointment, and tell me it was alright. I just wasn't genius material, but she loved me just the same. Dad tried less to assure me.
Osamu was the only one that ever seemed to notice whenever I accomplished something. Maybe I got a hundred percent on my spelling test, he'd congratulate me for it, put the test on the bulletin board in our bedroom.
One time Mom congratulated him for one of my tests, thinking he must be really proud of it to hang it up for everyone to see.
He didn't correct her.
He was the perfect child, and he basked in the attention he got. He was a genius, the most sought after achievement of all the Mom's in our building. Mom and Dad bragged about him to no end.
I was his shadow, someone who looked a lot like him, but could never live up to the real thing. I loved him, but I couldn't help but be envious of him. Mom and Dad cared about him so much. And they hardly noticed I was there. They only ever seemed to see me if I screwed something up, like if I broke the living room lamp, or fell off of my bike and ripped my knee open. They never noticed that I'd been on my bike for a whole minute before I fell, just chided me for not trying hard enough to succeed.
"You need to be more like Osamu," Dad would say. "He'd never fail at something so trivial."
"Just try harder dear," Mom would tell me. "Perhaps if you asked Osamu for help…"
I never heard a "Good for you, Ken," or even a "Great try, kiddo." All I wanted was some sort of recognition, something that would make me feel like I was a part of this family too.
Sometimes, like today, Osamu would let it all get to his head. He would take all of Mom and Dad's praise to heart, and he would act as though he was the most important person in the entire world, strutting down the sidewalk with his head held high, smirking whenever somebody looked his way, or pointed him out to their friends, whispering in awe about his intelligence.
I was left to bumble along behind him, trying to keep up, so that I didn't get lost. I didn't doubt that it would take hours—maybe longer—for Mom and Dad, or even Osamu, to notice I was missing if I got lost. I was just an afterthought to them, the child they thought they wanted, but decided they didn't really need when Osamu was declared a genius child. I didn't mind though. I knew there were loads of kids out there that didn't have a Mom or a Dad, and I couldn't complain that mine forgot about me sometimes. It wouldn't be fair to complain when I was already more fortunate than others, I had both after all.
"Hurry up, Ken," Osamu said impatiently. "I want to watch my interview tonight. I'm going to be on television, isn't that the coolest thing ever?"
"You bet," I said cheerfully. "I have the coolest big brother ever!"
"You should have been there when I did the interview," Osamu told me. "The reporter would have eaten that up."
I rolled my eyes. I gave him a compliment, and he complained about my timing. I just could not win.
"When are you going to be on television?" I asked, instead of allowing my complaining to continue. I was fortunate, I had to remember that.
"Tonight stupid," Osamu said. "I just said that."
"What time?" I said more specifically.
"Seven," he told me. "So we've got to hurry up. I want to have snacks while watching it."
"That's ages away," I cried. "And you promised to take me to the park."
"I can't," he decided. "Not today. Tomorrow will be better."
"You said that yesterday," I sighed.
"Then we have a pattern don't we?" he said with a crooked grin. "You like patterns, don't you?"
"I like finding fun patterns," I corrected him. "This one's not fun at all."
"Sorry," he said, but I could tell he didn't mean it. "I'll find some time to bring you to the park someday this week. Does that sound better?"
I thought it over. It was true that he wasn't promising to bring me tomorrow, but there was less of a chance for him to break this promise than there was for all of the others. I would get to go sometime this week, even if that meant it would be last minute Friday afternoon. I'd still get to go.
"Okay," I said cheerfully, slipping my hand into his. He grumbled, but I wouldn't let go. I was too little to cross the road by myself, so he needed to help me. Some ladies were chatting to each other and fawned over Osamu as we passed them while crossing.
"Isn't he just the sweetest," one said. I pretended that she was talking about me and smiled.
"He's just the cutest big brother," the second said.
"Isn't he…?" the last woman asked.
"The Ichijouji genius," the second said excitedly nodding.
"He'll be on television tonight," the third added.
"We'll be watching your interview dear," the first said.
"Oh wow," Osamu said with expertly fake sheepishness. "Thanks. I didn't think it would be so interesting."
"It will," the second lady promised. "I'm going to tape it and show my sister when she's in town."
"Wow, Osamu," I said surprised. "People from outta town are gonna know who you are. You really are the coolest!"
"Bless his heart," the third woman said. "He's smart and a great brother. It was lovely meeting you."
"You as well," Osamu said with a smile, as he led me to the other side of the road and to safety. We were passing the park now. I sighed longingly. "That's what I call good timing. You're getting better at this."
I flushed at the praise. My brother thought I was useful. It made my day. I didn't get to go to the park, but I got complimented by my brother. That was a whole lot more special.
A ball rolled in front of our path, and Osamu stopped to pick it up. It was kind of old looking, and red. It didn't look like it had a lot of bounce left in it. Osamu examined it for awhile, and handed it to me.
"There," he said. "I got you a ball. Does that make up for not going to the park?"
I would have said yes…but he just found the ball on the ground. It rolled in front of us. That meant it belonged to somebody else, somebody who was probably playing with it before Osamu took it.
"Maybe," I said. "But I'm going to give it back."
"I don't want it," he said.
"It's not yours silly," I told him, looking through the fence that surrounded the park. I saw a man standing there, he looked kind of old, and he was staring at me. He wore funny clothes and had his grey hair in a ponytail on top of his head. I looked to the ball and then back at him. I cocked my head, trying to convey my silent question: 'Is this yours?'
He nodded. I smiled brightly and walked right up to the fence. "Here mister."
"Thank you, Ken Ichijouji," he said, reaching down and taking the ball from my outstretched hand. There was a strange sparking feeling when his fingers touched my hand. "You are a kind boy for returning it."
"I was gonna keep it if I didn't find you," I admitted sheepishly. "I'm not so nice."
"But you looked first," he insisted. "You have passed your first test."
"For what?" I asked.
"You will make a great choice," he said simply, and he refused to elaborate any further. I sighed and shrugged my shoulders.
"I have to go home now," I told him. "My brother's gonna be on the television. You should watch it. It would make him so happy if you did."
"Kind," the man murmured again. "Very kind, yes, I think he will work."
"Okay mister," I said confused. "Have a good day. Osamu, look I found the owner."
"He's pretty weird," Osamu decided looking at the still muttering man. "We should probably go. You're just six, and I can't leave you out here with a crazy man."
"I'm not little," I insisted. "And he's not crazy. He gave me a test, and I passed it. I'm a kind boy. That's what he said anyway. I don't see how that was a test though…"
"It wasn't a real test," Osamu told me. "And you probably shouldn't go near that man again, okay?"
"Oh," I said grumpily. "Okay. I won't. I promise."
"Great," Osamu said happily. "Now let's go watch me on the television."
"Only if I get popcorn," I said with a laugh. He nudged me and laughed too. It turned out to be a really good day.
Ryou Akiyama (1999):
I was being stupid. Yeah, I was mad at my dad, but storming out of the house wasn't probably the right way to deal with that anger. I should've gone back immediately to face the music, but I couldn't. I knew he was wrong. I was totally responsible. Granted, my running off did not help my case any, but I was generally a pretty positive person, and I've found over the course of my life—however short it'd been thus far—that positive thinking was typically rewarded with positive results. It wouldn't take too long for me to prove just how responsible I was, to earn dad's trust. I knew how hard getting a pet would be, and especially so for the dog I so desperately wanted. I'd have to take him on walks daily, clean up after him, buy food and treats, purchase dishes, brushes and toys, groom him, train him, teach him tricks. It was a lot of work, but I was up to it. I wasn't just a little kid anymore. I was growing up. It would be good for me to have such a big responsibility. I had to start preparing myself for the big world out there sometime didn't I?
But dad wasn't as sure as I was. In fact he was my exact opposite. Where I always found a ray of sunshine, he desperately searched for storm clouds. He was the most negative, pessimistic person I'd ever met. Mom wasn't much better—strictly neutral on almost all topics. I couldn't fathom where I got my sunny disposition, but I wasn't complaining. I was very thankful for it actually. It made me a ton of friends, and I just loved being around people. Dad hated it. He was always telling me to be thankful while it lasts, because once I get lost in the storm of real life I wasn't going to be able to hold onto happiness. Just look at him.
Yeah…
That was one conversation between us that I couldn't find a positive spin for. He hated his life. Not that it was anything new, he hated everything. It was just that mom and I were a part of his life too. And Uncle Tadao. God, dad hated him more than he hated anything. Tadao went places with his life, unlike dad. Tadao traveled the seas with some ship he called Whamon. I'd never been allowed to ride on it though. I'd never even seen it. I would someday though. I was sure of it. And I'd love every minute of it, because Tadao and I, we were like two peas in a pod.
Tadao always told me that I reminded him of the stories my grandfather told him, from when grandfather was younger. I had the "same spirit" he'd say. I didn't know what it meant exactly, but dad always forced Tadao to leave after he said it. Our visits were never as long as I'd like them to be. Sometimes—very rarely, mind you—I wish that Tadao would just take me with him when he left. Dad would probably be happier in his negativity if I wasn't there. I was pretty sure my sheer happiness made him more miserable than he was on his own. He needed a break, and for a chance to go somewhere exciting, I was more than willing to give him one.
I kicked at a stone on the path in front of me, watching it bounce along the cement walkway before kicking it again, making a game out of it. I'd wait just a few more minutes before going back to see dad. I wasn't getting a dog just yet, I knew that much, but I could probably talk him into a gold fish, and that would be fun too.
"Well—" the loud voice of a girl came behind me. No. Not a girl, a young woman. I was going to tell her it wasn't a problem, since she started to apologize. It was never a problem when a really pretty girl—young woman—knocked you down. Ever. And she was really pretty. She had wavy light brown hair and bright eyes that were just brimming with stories of adventures long past. Oddly specific, I know, but Uncle Tadao had the exact same look whenever he looked at me and told me stories of his life. The young woman was loud though, and had several companions with her. One with her hair tied back with a clip and a pencil skirt and blazer, like reporters on television, and the second clearly had a severe humidity problem, because her hair seemed to be growing by the second in the hot summer heat. It was the third companion—a pink and green flower with eyes, legs and arms—that puzzled me though, but I didn't get the chance to say anything about it.
I didn't get a chance to do more than glance at the lot of them.
Suddenly, just as sudden as their appearance, they were gone. But so was the park. I was still falling through the air, never having reached the ground. The trees and the path melted into a dark cave-like tunnel. There was only one sign of life there, and that was a horrifyingly disfigured and discoloured tree. I stepped towards it, reaching out to touch it. I wanted to know what was wrong with it. I'd worry about being lost in some weird tunnel—and wonder how I got there—later.
But I didn't get a chance to touch the tree either.
The tunnel melted away to a path in the woods. If I didn't know better, I'd say it was the very park I'd been walking in just moments before. But it clearly wasn't. The trees were far more vivacious, and the sky was clear, not a sign of smog or pollution to be seen. I could hear the gentle rush of soft waves rolling into the shore, and took off down the dirt path—not concrete—towards the sound. I emerged from the trees to see a beautiful, crystal clear lake in the middle of the forest. What was that doing there? I could've sworn there wasn't a lake there. If there was, wouldn't someone have mentioned it? But it was far too pure to have been discovered by human eyes before. Someone would have capitalized on its beauty by now.
"Beautiful, isn't it?"
I turned to see a man walking towards me, seeming far livelier than his age would suggest. He was clearly an old man, short too.
"Prettiest I've ever seen, sir," I agreed, and turned back to continue staring at it. What would Tadao give to be able to take his boat out on this? He wasn't going to believe me when I told him.
"I've been waiting for you to arrive," the man told me. "I wasn't sure how you could get here, to a place so far from your own time, but I'm pleased to meet you regardless."
"Who are you?" I asked, not being able to tear my eyes away from the water. This place was surreal. I couldn't figure out where I was, or how I got there, but I didn't even care that nothing made sense. It was too awe inspiring to worry about.
"I am Gennai," he informed me.
"I'm Ryou," I replied.
"Ryou Akiyama," Gennai elaborated. "I know. You have a great destiny before you. You must complete it in order to return to your own time."
"Wow," I gasped, finally looking away from the sparkling lake to look at Gennai more carefully. He seemed to be honest, and so I took his word for it. "I time travelled. That is so cool."
And it was. It was probably the most exciting thing that would ever happen to me in my entire life. No one would believe me, but who cared? I time travelled! This was great!
"Where am I then?" I asked bouncing excitedly on my feet.
"I think the better question might be when," Gennai said with a low chuckle. "It is, on Earth, the year 1999. Here we have experienced far more years than they have. Our time is out of balance, but I expect it will be a problem soon dealt with. As for where, you are in the Digital World. It is a world that lives in tandem with your own. Do not worry."
"I'm not," I assured him. He sent me a small smile.
"You will have many adventures here," he promised. "You will have to. There are many years between now and your home in 2027."
"You're right," I said with a grin. "I'll have way more adventures than Uncle Tadao ever did on Whamon."
"Whamon?" Gennai questioned quietly.
"It's his boat," I explained.
"Whamon is not a boat," Gennai corrected me firmly. "A Whamon is a digimon. A digital monster, he's one of the inhabitants of the Digital World."
"Okay, cool," I said. I was a pretty calm guy. I wasn't going to get all huffy because Tadao didn't tell me something this big. I would just roll with the punches and see where it got me. "So it's like a whale then?"
"Exactly," Gennai said smiling at my easy acceptance. "You have a partner as well."
"Another Whamon?" I asked.
"Oh no. Yours is specifically tailored to your needs. All partners are. They are two pieces to the same puzzle," he said.
"Like soul mates," I decided. Mom was a hopeless romantic, which kind of sucked since she married dad, but whatever. She was always telling me that someday, if I'm lucky—so as not to get my hopes up—I would find my other half, the missing piece to my puzzle. She wasn't wrong. She just didn't realize that I was missing two pieces. No big deal. She didn't realize she was missing another one either, so it was cool.
"I suppose so," Gennai said slowly. "Unfortunately, your partner is lost. You'll have to find him on your own. We didn't realize you would be here so soon. 2027 is still a ways away, you see. We thought we had more time to find him."
"Not a problem," I told him. "That could be my first mission."
"Perhaps," he said cryptically. "I do need you to promise me something."
"Sure," I agreed easily.
"You need to trust in other digimon to help you along the way. You cannot do it alone, and until you find your digimon partner, you will need all the help you can get," he told me seriously.
"I can tell who to trust, no problem," I said. "Maybe I'll see you around?"
"Someday…maybe…" Gennai told me awkwardly. He hugged me then. A totally random thing to do to a guy you'd just met, but I let him. I even hugged him back. A small price to pay when it made the old guy so ridiculously happy. "Goodbye, Ryou Akiyama. Take this digivice, it belongs to you. Your partner will explain its workings when you meet him."
"I'll take good care of it," I promised. "And the Digital World."
"I have no doubts," Gennai told me.
I hurried off into the trees, completely stoked about the journey lying ahead of me. I couldn't wait to explore this new world. I had loads of time. Twenty-eight years worth of time, give or take a few, since the Digital World wasn't on track with Earth right then. This was going to be great!
I started running, desperate to meet a digimon, and see more of the world. I had to stop on a dime though. I heard a noise to my left and had to know what it was. I tried to be as quiet as I could, so I didn't scare whatever it was. There was a blue dinosaur-thing standing in the trees, eating some fruit he'd just picked from the branches. He looked completely trustworthy. I decided I'd better go and talk to him.
"Hey," I said happily. The digimon paused his eating, a piece of fruit was raised halfway to his mouth. "I'm Ryou."
"Hello, Ryou," the digimon said confused. "Do you need something?"
"I'm on an adventure," I told him. "And I've been told I'm going to need some digimon's help. I was wondering if you'd be that digimon for now."
"Yes!" the digimon cheered. "Where are we going? What are we doing?"
"I don't know yet. But we'll find out," I said with a grin. The digimon tossed his uneaten fruit on the ground and hopped to his feet, and started running ahead of me. I rushed after him, laughing as we ran through the trees. "By the way, what's your name?"
"I'm Veemon," the dinosaur told me. "Let's go, let's go, let's go!"
"Yeah," I said happily. I didn't need a pet. I'd have digimon friends instead. If some old guy that I'd never met could trust me with the fate of his home world, I was definitely responsible enough to do it. He seemed like a pretty smart guy. And no goldfish could give me this much of an adventure. "Let's save the world!"
Michael Washington (1999):
I hated that everyone was dressed in black. Mom hated black. They were doing it all wrong. Didn't any of them know anything?
I dressed in my most colourful clothes and had a big old fancy hat on. Mom always liked when I dressed like a goof ball.
But now she'd be gone forever, and I'd never know what she thought about any of my outfits from now until forever. I felt a soft and warm hand take mine and I looked down to Jenna. She was wearing a black dress, but I couldn't blame her. Dad had dressed her. It wasn't her fault. Jenna was wearing a little black hat with a black veil on it. But it was on backwards.
Silly Dad... he would never get it. I knew he'd try as hard as he could, but he'd never be good at these things like Mom was. He'd never be a good cook, and he'd never know where the scissors were hiding, or where my missing socks were. But he'd try... and that's all I could ask for.
As the guy on the stand talked about Mom I fixed Jenna's hat piece. She didn't know any better, and Dad thought it was right... but I knew. I knew how to do it. Maybe I could help Dad learn... help him be more like Mom.
"...she was the sweetest woman I'd ever met." The man said, "Wise beyond her years, and just the right amount of sarcastic." A few people laughed lightly, my dad included as he cried heavily. "I knew her longer than any of you I dare say, and yet, I feel like you all knew her equally well. She wore her heart on her sleeve, and never wasted any moments with anyone."
"I knew her better." I said louder than I had wanted to. Everyone looked to me and my face turned red, but I shook away the embarrassment and continued, "I knew her better than all of you."
"Michael," Dad said, placing his hand on my shoulder, "Son... not right now, okay?"
"Dad..." I said quietly as the man on the stand talked again. I turned around and let go of Jenna's hand, walking off. Dad didn't notice, or if he did he didn't mind. I guess he figured I'd need some time alone...
I walked along the grass and toward a big tree where I looked up at the branches and smiled. Mom liked climbing trees.
I reached as high as I could, trying to grab onto the lowest branch but it was too high. I jumped and grabbed at it, but my foot slipped when I landed and I fell into the cold grass. I was so happy that the clouds covered the sky. Those were Mom's favourite days. We always went for walks when the sky was clouded.
I jumped back to my feet and tried again for the branch, but I missed again. I wasn't tall enough. I jumped again and again, but I couldn't reach it.
But I knew I could do it if I tried hard enough!
I jumped one more time and felt hands grab my sides suddenly as someone lifted me up into the branches.
"Hey!" I shouted down to him, "I can do it myself!" I looked down and saw that it was someone I didn't even recognize. His hair was white and tied in a funny ponytail on his head. His eyes were old and squinted but full of wisdom, just like my grandpa. He was wearing really funny clothes too. He reached up and grabbed the branch and quickly pulled himself up into the tree next to me. For someone so old and in a dress he sure moved really well.
"You don't have to do everything alone you know." He said quietly.
"I like to." I said.
"I know." He said with a nod. "I'm very sorry about your mother Michael." I nodded. At least he seemed kind of nice. "Michael, you're a very wise little boy."
"I'm not little."
"No, you're not." He said, "I'm sorry, you're quite a young man by now. And that is my fault." I was confused. How was me growing up all his fault? Was he God? "I'm late. And for that I am truly, truly sorry."
"What do you mean late?" I asked him.
"I should have known it was you I had to come to." The man said, "But I couldn't be sure. And... you've proven yourself so many times. And for some reason it just didn't seem right to me. But now I'm here..." He patted me on the shoulder and a strange sensation ran through me. I blinked quickly and it seemed to fade. "You've passed your first test over and over again."
"What test?"
"I cannot explain that to you." The man said. "Michael... what is your favourite memory of your mother?" Why was he being so odd? But that didn't really matter I knew my favourite memory already.
"Michael..." She said, "This is your little sister. Her name is Jenna."
"She's real cute."
"Yes," Mom giggled, as she held the sleeping baby, "She is. Can you do me a favour Michael?"
"You want me to protect her dont'cha?" I asked. "You want me to keep her safe and always be a great big brother right? I'll be like... her second daddy! I'll keep her safe. Don't you worry Mom!"
I couldn't help but wonder if that's really what her favour was... but I loved the memory because I made her a promise. And I'd never once broke that promise. I was to keep strong and keep her safe.
"You are a very noble child." The man said, "Sorry... young man."
"That's right." I said with a grin, "That's how I was raised!"
The man chuckled and patted me on the shoulder again, but this time there was no weird sensation. "Michael, a little while ago... something happened. And you were quick to judge someone whom you knew nothing about."
"I-I was?" I asked.
He nodded.
Who was I mean to? I mean, he didn't say mean, but Mom told me that judging a book by its cover was really mean and it usually led to you being wrong. Just like I had about this man. He looked so fragile and weak, but he had climbed this tree way easier than I ever could.
"Perhaps, if ever confronted with this being again, you should rethink your morals?" The man said with a strong sense of dignity. "And maybe then you will find true happiness."
"I don't really know what you're talking about sir." I said bluntly. "You're a little nuts."
The man laughed, "Perhaps I am, Michael, but aren't we all?"
"All the best people are anyway." I told him, saying what my Dad always told me when I asked him if I was crazy.
"You're a very strong man, Michael." The man said suddenly after a long moment of silence where thunder boomed in the distance. It was going to rain soon, which made everything even better and worthwhile. I loved the rain... and so did Mom.
"Really?" I asked him, "Because my dad keeps telling me that I need to put on some muscles..."
"Perhaps that's true," He said, and I shot him a glare, "But I was speaking from within you. You have much strength within."
I wasn't sure at all what that might have meant so I just shrugged my shoulders. "Thanks? I guess?"
"Of course I'm not quite sure you really know how to access it yet." He said with a sigh.
"Sir, to be honest, I don't even know what it means." I told him honestly. He laughed again.
"You will one day." He said. "One day you will see that it is your strength in morals, in your heart, in your mind and in your soul. And even now as I explain it it's going right over your head..." He cleared his throat, "Now, as for right now, you need to go down to the lake where you and your mother saw the big snake."
"It was more than a big snake sir," I informed him.
"I know." He said with a wink, "But we best not tell anyone else or they might thing you've gone nuts like me." I smiled at him as he slipped out of the tree and started walking away, along the grass.
"Bye sir!" I called out.
"Goodbye Michael," He said, waving to me.
I didn't really know who he was, and now that he was gone I was seriously questioning myself. Why had I been so willing to talk to him about everything? He was a stranger. I guessed it was because I wasn't shy, but at the same time, he could have been one of those people my parents warned me about who want to kill us all.
But turns out he wasn't.
So it's okay.
I jumped out of the tree and looked around until I found the hill that led down to the water. I wasn't sure why I was supposed to walk all the way down here when I should probably have been back at the funeral saying a final goodbye to my Mom, but the man seemed to know what he was talking about. So I thought I'd listen.
I walked down the hill in silence watching the pond as the water poured down into the river and off toward the sea. I wondered for a moment where the water itself came from but my mother had once told me that it was connected to the sea underground that was why it was so deep.
There was something in the water though... It was black but I didn't know what it was.
As I got closer I saw that it was a hat of some sort, but it looked familiar. I stepped onto the shore of the river and looked closely at it and suddenly fell into a panic.
It was Jenna's hat.
"Jenna!" I screamed out, "Jenna where are you? JENNA!" I started wading into the cold water as thunder boomed once more and it began to rain slowly. I reached her hat quickly and scooped it out of the water. Was she underneath?
I took a breath and plunged under the water quickly, forcing my eyes open in the murky water, hoping to find her. I searched until I ran out of breath and then resurfaced. I was crying now—where was she? I couldn't break my promise to Mom... I needed Jenna!
As I took another breath I heard a giggle behind me. I spun around and sighed with relief.
"I found you!" Jenna said with a giant grin on her face. I rushed back through the water until I was at the shore and I wrapped my arms around her. "Jenna..." I sighed, "Jenna I thought you'd died!"
"The wind took that." She said, pointing to her hat. I smiled and set it on her head as the water poured over her head and ran down her face and neck. "Hey!" She giggled as she ran into the water to splash me.
"I'm already soaking wet!" I said loudly over nearby thunder as the rain began to pour harder. Both Jenna and I began to laugh as we splashed each other with water. It lasted for quite some time as the rain pounded down from above.
"Hey..." We both looked over to the sound of our father. "Why didn't you invite me?" He asked as he slid down the hill and pointed toward the sky where a thick beam of light shone from the clouds. "Look at that!"
"That's Mommy." Jenna said more confident and serious than she'd ever been in her life. As I stared toward the light my whole body warmed up even though I was standing, drenched in cold water as it rained really hard all around us. Dad put his hand on my shoulder as Jenna grabbed a handful of his pant leg.
I knew Mom wouldn't leave us. Especially not on her favourite kind of day... so we were never really alone. Not so long as she was watching us. And I knew she'd do that forever.
But not while we were in the bathroom. She was really nice like that.
Kurayami Higorashi (2000):
"Just wait here," Daddy said, kissing my forehead and rushing off into the night. I watched him go, into the light of the nearby streetlamp, and then toward the Police station. He was looking for Mommy, and he didn't know where to go. He was asking the police for help now, but he didn't want me involved. I understood what he meant when he said that I wasn't ready to hear it. It meant that it was scary and that it involved that dark place.
I didn't take my eyes off of him as I sat on the bench in the park, not until he was gone, all the way into the building. And then I was alone, and instead of watching Daddy I watched the streetlight, too afraid to look away from the only source of comfort.
But just to be safe I got off of the bench and climbed to the top of the monkey bars where I sat and, once again, watched the light. I was scared. On the TV I saw that most little babies were scared of the dark because of the monsters that were inside of it, but I was never afraid of stupid things like that... well... sometimes maybe. But I was mostly scared of the dark itself. The shadows could grab at me, and I knew that. The other kids didn't know that, and I would never tell them. I didn't want them to be more afraid. Not like I was. Not true fear.
I watched as the streetlight flickered and I gasped in fear, scared. It didn't go out, so that was good, just a small flicker. It couldn't go out—not while I was alone. Besides it was one of the few streetlights still working in this town. I needed it for night time.
And then it went out.
At first I tried to keep from panicking but my breathing became choked and I couldn't handle it anymore, and soon I was having a full on panic attack. Something grabbed my foot and I gasped out a scream as it pulled me from the monkey bars.
"Kurayami" It was dad! "Kurayami, just breath. Out, then in. Out then in." I tried to do as he said, clinging to him as a lifeline as my heart raced inside my chest. And then slowly, his advice payed off and I was breathing normally again. "There, not so hard, was it?"
That wasn't Dad's voice.
I looked up sharply to see who was holding me, ready to start another panic attack, but he stopped me. "It's alright," He said, "I'm a friend."
"Who are you?" I asked, squinting my eyes to get a better look at him through the darkness, but I really just couldn't see anything.
"My name is of no importance." He said quietly, "But I'm here to keep you safe."
"From the darkness?" I asked, hopeful.
"No," He said, shaking his head. "From the things inside the darkness."
"No, the darkness is the real evil." I told him quickly, "It's so frightening."
"No," He said, shaking his head, "The darkness isn't the evil. It's the shadows living within. The shadows from another world. The same ones who, on a regular basis, convince your own mother to walk into their midst for periods of time."
"The ones that grab me?"
"Yes." He said calmly, still holding me with his strong arms. He was the first person I'd felt safe around besides my Grandpa and my Dad, and it was really nice. Odd, since I didn't know him, but nice nonetheless.
"So the darkness isn't evil?"
"No," He said, "The darkness is just the balance of the worlds. It keeps things in line. Without total darkness we could never have total light, and even with total darkness..." He turned and pointed to the sky where probably like at least a hundred stars were shining toward us, and in the center of it all was the big orb, the moon. "Even in total darkness there is always some light, and even in total light there is always some darkness. Light creates darkness, and light is good, so that means darkness has to be good too."
"What if dark is the bad stuff that light doesn't want anymore?" I asked, "Like humans are the light and our poop is the dark." The man let out a loud laugh and I couldn't help but smile as his chest moved alongside his comforting laugh.
"Well, honestly I'm not sure what to tell you," He said calmly, "But Kurayami, just remember that you don't fear the darkness. You fear what's inside it. Some day the balance and the fear will all make sense to you. But until then I really don't think there's anything I can do for you." He set me down and turned to go but I grabbed his leg.
"Don't." I said sharply. "Don't leave me."
He turned and knelt down. "I'll tell you what," he said, raising his hand to my eye level and snapping his fingers.
Suddenly we were surrounded by light—every single streetlight in the city had just turned back on. Who was this man? Was he an electric super hero?
"And look," He said with a big grin, pointing toward the Police Station where Dad was coming out now.
"Daddy!" I gasped, clapping my hands together. I turned back to thank the man for what he'd done but he wasn't there anymore. How could he have done that? But I didn't really care too much. He was probably just a super hero, like I thought. And I forgot about him quickly, running toward my Dad through the lights the man had provided for me.
Neo Saiba (2006):
"Rei—" I tried, but she cut me off.
"I don't want to hear it Neo." She said, wheeling right into the wall.
"Yes you do." I said sharply. "Of course you do." I moved quickly to help her, and pushed her through the door to her room. She was only just getting used to the chair.
"No." She barked. "I don't. All you do is tell me how you're going to get back at him. It wasn't his fault! Yamato did nothing!"
"He did though." I said through gritted teeth. "He ruined your life."
"Nope." Rei said. "No one did. My life isn't ruined! I'm alive Neo! I'm perfectly fine! You should be happy!"
"I am!" I said. Why couldn't she see I was doing this for her? "I just would be happier if you could walk again."
"Well I like the chair." She said, "It gives me an excuse to sit down all the time." She was making a joke, but it wasn't funny. It just made me madder. Not at her. At him. At Yamato. "It's a new challenge. I like challenges Neo. They... well, challenge me. I'll get used to it, and you will too." She reached for the door and slammed it, but it caught on her wheel and bounced back open. "Pretend that slammed." She said.
I nodded and backed off. She didn't want me to hate Yamato for what he did to her. So I wouldn't. Not in front of her anyway. Though having honesty be my policy I'd have to hide it really well. If she asked I'd have to tell her.
I sat down at the computer and mindlessly turned it on. Maybe Hideto would have some creative way for me to destroy Yamato's life.
I waited as the computer turned on, taking a pen and drawing on the desktop. Mom didn't want me to, but I'd already drawn on it so much I didn't see the problem with adding a few more doodles.
Finally, I was opening my email. One from Hideto sat unread. I clicked it open.
No. It was a continuation of our conversation, I guess I'd left while in the middle of it. Neo, it's not his fault. It's my fault. I'm the one who sent her to get the autograph. It's my fault. Or the idiot driver. The light was red Neo, he ran a red light—that's why. It's his fault. It's my fault. It's not Yamato's fault. Stop putting your blame somewhere where it doesn't belong and just punish me. I need to be punished because I can't take it anymore.
I shook my head. Hideto was taking all of the blame on himself. I couldn't let him do that.
Hideto, I wrote in the 'reply' box. Stop blaming yourself for what you know isn't your fault. The driver is to blame, yes. But so is Yamato. He should have saved her—or kept her longer at the autograph booth or something. It's not your fault. But I need your help... I need a way to get back at Yamato. I need to cause him pain.
I clicked send. I did realize how sadistic it sounded but that was how I felt. I felt weird... out of character, and yet completely refreshed. That was what I wanted, I wanted Yamato to feel my pain. But I couldn't harm his little brother. Takeru was a good kid. It wasn't his fault... but that would be the only way to even the playing field.
But I couldn't do to Takeru what had been done to Rei. I would never forgive myself. How had he done it? How had Yamato forgiven himself for what he'd done to my sister?
I shook my head and came back to focus on my email. It was filled with junk mail, so I deleted it all quickly.
As I went to close out of my email another one appeared. One I could've sworn I'd already deleted. I clicked the little box next to it again and deleted it. Once again it came back.
"What the hell?" I muttered aloud. I deleted it a few more times, clicking on the mouse with more force and anger each time.
I decided to inquire what it was. The subject read 'DW'.
I clicked it open and instantly wished I hadn't. I clamped my eyes shut as my stomach flipped and I fell, tumbling through endless darkness—but that was because my eyes were shut. I flung them open just as I slammed against the hard ground.
I laid still for a while, trying to figure out where I hurt. And then it changed to trying to figure out why I wasn't hurt. And then where I was, why I'd fallen when I was checking my email.
Slowly I pulled my face away from the ground, tiny bits of rock had stuck to my cheek. I wiped them off and sat back into a sitting position. I was surrounded by trees...
Trees, rocks, an endless blue sky... I was outside. But that couldn't be right.
Maybe someone had thrown me off of the computer chair and out the office window. No, that couldn't be it. There was no sidewalk or road, and my house wasn't there. Besides, the trees looked different from any I'd ever seen. Their leaves were huge and jagged, and... plastic looking.
"Hello."
I practically jumped out of my skin at the voice coming from behind me. I spun around quickly and found a man standing by me. Behind him in the distance was a tall building. A strange temple. The man's brown hair stood up in spikes, with a long ponytail falling down his back. His body was clad with white robes and he was smiling down at me.
"What can I do for you?" He asked. "What are you doing here?"
"What do you mean?" I asked, "I didn't mean to come."
"Oh dear." The man said, "Well that must have been quite a surprise for you." He began laughing to himself. "I'm sorry, forgive me. I just find the Digidesined's first arrivals always so amusing. Their facial expressions—the confusion." He sighed. "I'm sorry." Then he was sitting next to me on the ground. "My name is Gennai." He said, holding out his hand for me.
I shook it, "Neo." I said. "Where am I?"
"The Digital World." Gennai said. "It's a land parallel to yours, we live simultaneously with very little crossover. Well I'd like to keep saying that, but you kids keep falling in here faster than the leaves fall off of a tree."
"I'm not a kid." I told him sharply.
"Right," He nodded, "I apologize."
"What are Digidestined?" I asked, ignoring his apology. "You said that word. What is that?"
"They are those who are destined to become digital." Gennai said. "It's a little bit of a play on words." He chuckled to himself again.
"And I'm Digital then?" I asked. And then it hit me. "I'm inside my computer." It wasn't a question.
"Yes you are." Gennai nodded. "In a way. You're inside all computers. It's all very confusing I'm sure." I raised my eyebrows but said nothing. "You were chosen you see. As many were."
"There are others?" I asked.
"There were five." Gennai said. "Then they moved on, and so did we."
"So there are others now?" I asked.
"Well originally there were only three." Gennai explained. "Meant to be four, but a slight confusion on my behalf—anyway. Then there were nine. Using the very basics we had to offer them. Eight of them in one county, one in another. Then it proved to be too much for them, and so five more were added to their ranks. And now you as well."
"How many were chosen with me?" I asked, trying to understand. I was keeping up pretty well, but there were so many questions flying around my head.
"None." Gennai said simply. "Though more will be chosen. In fact there already is another. He's just a little hard to locate at the moment. There should be three more you see. To make up all twenty one crests."
I quickly did the math in my head, "That would only be twenty of us though."
"One of you get's two."
"That's hardly fair." I said, though I didn't really mind. "What's a crest anyway?"
"It's a symbol." Gennai said, "An artefact that shows your strongest virtue. One that will ultimately help you in your fight against evil."
"I'm not fighting evil." I said.
"Then you're fighting with evil?" Gennai asked me, his eyebrows raised.
I shook my head, "No, I'm not fighting anything." I told him. "And I don't need a symbol to show me my strongest virtue. I know what it is. It's Honesty."
"Indeed it is." Gennai said with a smile. As he said that a bug flew in front of me. I swatted at it, but realized it was not in my reach. It was actually down the hill—all the way over by the temple. Why could I see it?
"That's a big bug." I said, realizing the answer quite quickly.
"Yeah," Gennai said, "It really is. That's Kuwagamon. He's not a nice guy."
"Why are there giant bugs here, and how can I leave to avoid them?" Gennai laughed, but didn't take me seriously.
"He's a digimon," Gennai said as though it were obvious. "The Digital World is inhabited by them. In fact. As a digidestined, you get one of your own." Before I could protest, telling him that I certainly did not want a giant bug, he'd raised his hand and a gateway appeared in front of him. A small greenish-blue dragon ran out excitedly.
"NEO!" It called out loudly, jumping into my arms and hugging me.
"What are you?" I asked coldly.
"I'm Dracomon." He said, "I'm your partner. Together we'll fight against evil!"
"He's decided to take a neutral, no fighting stance in the war." Gennai filled him in before I could.
"Okay." Dracomon nodded, "Whatever you say sir!" He saluted me to the best of his ability with his tiny arms.
"Why is he so small...?" I asked, "He doesn't look like he'll be able to beat that giant bug..."
"He'll get there." Gennai said, ignoring Dracomon's protesting.
I nodded. "I see... but there are stronger digimon out there now?"
"Of course." Gennai said.
I bet a giant bug could make Yamato feel pain...
"Who are the other Digidestined?" I asked, "Where can I find them?"
Gennai made a weird noise and began counting on his fingers, "Taichi and Hikari Yagami, Koushiro Izumi, Willis Kennedy, Michael Washington, Ken Ichijouji, Sora Takenouchi, Mimi Tachikawa, Iori Hida, Daisuke Motomiya, Takeru Takaishi, Jou Kido, Miyako Inoue... well there's Kurayami Higorashi..." He trailed off, and I tried to ignore that I knew about half of them. "Oh right, Yamato Ishida."
I felt as if he'd punched me in the chest suddenly. I swallowed thickly and nodded. Yamato was a Digidestined. He had one of those crest things. He had one of those digimon things... he was going to be really strong though too if he was one of the original ones which I was sure he was.
I looked to Dracomon who knew I was thinking up a plan already. He wasn't strong enough though. I needed something like that big bug... I needed something helpful... Something old, and something powerful.
"I'd best get back to the temple though," Gennai said, "You have fun tho—I almost forgot!" He reached into his pocket and pulled out a grey device and tossed it to me. "That's your Digivice. That'll come in handy."
"The temple," I said quickly, "Sounds old." Gennai nodded, "And so it probably has like... information about the past? And the world itself?" Again Gennai nodded, "Would you mind if I read some of that? I really would like to get all the answers about this world before I start venturing out."
"I suppose... that would be alright." Gennai said, nodding firmly. "Sure. Yes. Come along then."
Dracomon skipped ahead of me with Gennai as my mind buzzed and whirred. This could be the exact information I'd need to get revenge on Yamato, and this very nice man was taking me straight to it.
