Disclaimer: Samantha would like to remind you-

Me: I don't want to remind them sh-

Disclaimer: *evil glare*

Me: They know already. I don't own Twilight, Google, or Myspace. Anything that might fall into those subdivisions, I also don't own.

Disclaimer: Good job.

Me: Do I get a gold star?

Disclaimer: No . . . ?

Me: *sigh* What's the point . . .


Screen names:

MsFallsAlot - Bella

DoIDazzleU - Edward

ICanCU - Alice

IxFeelxYou - Jasper

SoHawt - Rosalie

HearMeRoar - Emmett

DrShizzle - Carlisle

RUMyMommy - Esme

OffTheLeash - Jacob

SuPaStArSaM - Samantha, Me


DoIDazzleU has entered the chatroom.

IxFeelxYou has entered the chatroom.

HearMeRoar has entered the chatroom.

DrShizzle has entered the chatroom.

DoIDazzleU: Gentlemen, I'm sorry to call another family meeting at such an hour of the evening-

HearMeRoar: It's no problem here, Eddie. I've been helping Rosie organize her fake eyelashes by size and shape for the past hour and half. The break was appreciated.

IxFeelxYou: I hear you there, Emmett. I've been trying to think of ways to get Alice to take me back all day. Everything I think of isn't good enough for her.

HearMeRoar: She's a woman, let's not get carried away . . .

DoIDazzleU: Can I finish?

HearMeRoar: I don't know, will you pay me another dollar? Ah, I couldn't resist finishing that "that's what she said" joke . . .

DoIDazzleU: Immature, Emmett. Anyway, I seem to have a problem.

IxFeelxYou: *rolls eyes* Your problem is smaller than my problem.

DoIDazzleU: How can you know?

IxFeelxYou: I can't know for sure, but I have a feeling.

DoIDazzleU: Cute pun.

IxFeelxYou: Don't flirt with me, asshole. I'm still mad at you.

HearMeRoar: Well, both your problems are tiny compared to my HUMONGOUS problem.

DrShizzle: I've seen all of your "problems", you're all bluffing.

DoIDazzleU: WHY ARE YOU THINKING OF OUR PENISES!

HearMeRoar: Ha! I did spell penises right! But why did Alice tell me I spelt it wrong . . . ?

IxFeelxYou: *ignores Emmett* So any ideas on how to get Alice back?

HearMeRoar: *completely ignoring Jasper's question* So why did Alice tell me I spelt penises wrong?

DoIDazzleU: So you'd have to google it.

DrShizzle: Shouldn't you capitalize Google?

DoIDazzleU: No, I use it as a verb. He googles. She googles. They google.

IxFeelxYou: Any ideas at all? Anything floating in that noodle of yours, Em?

HearMeRoar: *ignoring Jasper again* You know, that was actually kind of evil of Alice. She uses a bunch of empty threats in the books and movies, but in this fanfic, she's a real, evil bitch. My computer got a bunch of viruses because of all the sites I found under "penises".

DrShizzle: ...I still think you should capitalize Google.

DoIDazzleU: No, it looks stupid then. I mean, really, what looks better: I Googled Aro's Myspace or I googled Aro's Myspace.

HearMeRoar: You googled Aro's Myspace?

DrShizzle: Look at what you've done, now even Emmett's using it incorrectly!

IxFeelxYou: Guys! I need help! Are you guys even reading what I write?

HearMeRoar: No, not really.

DoIDazzleU: Jasper, I'd respond to you, but apparently everything I write isn't "fit" to Carlisle's standards.

DrShizzle: No, that sentence was right, for once.

DoIDazzleU: Why must you annoy me?

DrShizzle: You're the eldest and you've yet to bring a lady home . . .

DoIDazzleU: I brought home Bella!

DrShizzle: That savage isn't a lady.

HearMeRoar: Savage. Cabbage. Baggage.

IxFeelxYou: You guys are hopeless, I'll go figure it out by myself.

HearMeRoar: Hey! I've got an idea.

IxFeelxYou: Yeah?

HearMeRoar: Go cut a heart into your arm, that's right up your ally, Jazz-emo.

IxFeelxYou: Bite me.

HearMeRoar: Don't get any ideas.

IxFeelxYou has left the chatroom.

DoIDazzleU: Speaking of bites, Bella wanted to get back together.

HearMeRoar: I don't get the whole "speaking of bites" phrase.

DoIDazzleU: You know, since she was bit.

HearMeRoar: Oh, so now we can joke about it? Because I remember making a joke about that awhile ago and you tore me a new asshole.

DoIDazzleU: I don't want to fight, Em. The main point here is Bella is still wants to be mine forever.

DrShizzle: *bitterly laughs* That isn't so, she was making out with my beloved Esme last night.

DoIDazzleU: *dry sniffles* Oh . . .

HearMeRoar: Speaking of hors-

DoIDazzleU: Whores.

HearMeRoar: I still don't know what a f*ckin' wha-hor-ee is, Edward! Don't interrupt me with your "intelligent" talk, gosh. Where was I?

DrShizzle: Speaking of whores . . .

HearMeRoar: Ah, yes! Speaking of hors-

DoIDazzleU: *sighs*

HearMeRoar: Douche bag say what?

DoIDazzleU: I didn't say-

HearMeRoar: That's right, douche bag says nothing, bitch.

DrShizzle: Boys . . .

HearMeRoar: I'm almost as old enough to be Charlie's grandfather! I'm not a boy anymore! And if that's not enough to convince you, check out Pedro and the fellas.

DoIDazzleU: *shudders*

HearMeRoar: Quit mind-raping me, Edward.

DoIDazzleU: I'm not mind-

HearMeRoar: Little bitch say what?

DrShizzle: I have to go, my break's over. Play nice, Emmett. Send Esme my love, please?

DoIDazzleU: I will as soon as Bella and her stop . . . playing upstairs . . . *dry sobs*

DrShizzle: *sigh* Yeah, bye.

DrShizzle has left the chatroom.

HearMeRoar: And the chatroom suddenly just got a little gayer . . .

HearMeRoar has left the chatroom.

DoIDazzleU: I haven't felt so mentally abused since I met Jane! *continues loud, dry sobs*

DoIDazzleU has left the chatroom.


Hi guys :)

I'm sorry I haven't updated much at all, I just haven't been feeling quite myself lately, therefore I lost my humor . . . and if you read my other story Visions of Dead (I think that's the title . . . ) I am sorry that I haven't updated in FOREVER. I'm writing the chapter now (have been for awhile) and I'm trying to see where I want the story to go . . . (I don't have my story plotted out, I just go with the flow).

Anyway, reviews/favs/alerts are all appreciated :D

I love you, guys. (Except for you, yeah you, the one who read my first chapter, judged my funniness and left, then came back but forwarded to the ones with the funny titles. Titles aren't everything!)

Adios for now,

Sami :) (That actually is my nickname)