Arthur Pendragon hated mornings.
It really didn't matter what morning, he hated it. He hated being roused from sleep, he hated having to get up and get dressed, he hated the responsibilities he would be forced to do. Once he was out of bed, of course, it wasn't as bad as it had seemed, and he enjoyed what the day brought him. But those minutes in bed just before he was forced to rise were the worst.
He groaned as he felt awareness returning to him, light piercing his eyes despite closed lids. Ten more minutes, or at least five. Just a little while longer, and then he'd get up. He wouldn't even throw anything at Merlin when the boy pulled open the curtains, if only he could sleep for a little longer.
It was a slight shock when he felt pain in his gut, but soon enough he felt a mild relief set in. He could skip today, claim illness. It wouldn't even be a lie, and Gaius could confirm it with his father.
No wait. His father had passed on. He was the king. Why was he trying to justify his illness when he was the one in charge?
But that was exactly why he couldn't just stay in bed all day. He would have to push through it, take care of his business, and then retire early to get some extra rest. Gwen would insist that he stay in bed if he was ill, but he couldn't afford that. There was too much he needed to accomplish, and he wanted to finish at least some of it so there wasn't a pile when he returned. Well, so the pile wouldn't be as large when he returned.
He went to sit up and the pain worsened immeasurably. He groaned and felt firm hands on his shoulders, and his mind went reeling. What was going on? Who was there, and what were they doing? There shouldn't be anyone besides his wife, and perhaps Merlin, in his chambers, and they certainly shouldn't be restraining him. He wanted to thrash, but the pain was too great.
He smelled something that irritated the hair in his nose and made him want to sneeze, but he didn't. Slowly, he felt his body grow relaxed, and he felt his mind pulling back into sleep. It should have worried him, of course, but he was too far gone to care. He just wanted sleep. Ten more minutes, or at least five.
M.M.M
Percival, Leon, and Elyan were all required to hold the king still as he began to wake, much too soon. They hadn't had a chance to disinfect or properly bandage the wounds, but he was trying to sit up. Clearly he wasn't completely conscious of his actions, because he muttered something about Merlin being hit. In some back part of Gaius mind where he wasn't desperately trying to keep the king alive, he wished that Merlin had been awake to hear it.
It was only after Gaius resorted to a burning herb that Arthur calmed down and fell back into sleep, unaware of the terrible injury he'd suffered. Gaius immediately set to work, sending the knights away to tend to their own wounds and get some rest. They protested, of course; they wouldn't be knights of Camelot if they didn't protest leaving an injured friend. But eventually they relented, realizing how in the way and unnecessary they truly were in Gaius' efforts.
It was hours later that Gaius was finally satisfied that the king would survive through the initial injury. There was always the chance of infection or other complications, but he could do nothing about that now.
He heard Amethyst enter the room, even though she was trying to be silent. He wasn't sleeping, not with the countless men and some women that needed his attention. Not with Merlin and Arthur both asleep with wounds they shouldn't have in his rooms. So the small cough she gave him as warning was completely unnecessary, although he appreciated the effort.
"Jeremy needed his medicine, but he fell asleep before he could get here." She said quietly, smiling apologetically.
"Quite understandable." Gaius stood and began rummaging through the various bottles he'd pulled for various treatments after the battle. He really needed to take the time to neaten it up and make it simpler on himself, but he was too tired to deal with that at the moment. Later, he kept telling himself. In just a bit, when he felt more up to it, he'd do it.
When he found the right bottle, he offered it to her, but her eyes had wandered to the King on a small cot by the fire, and Merlin a few feet away. Gaius had them both moved to his room once he was sure they would make the trip, because Merlin belonged here and he wanted to keep Arthur close, just to be safe.
"Merlin told me Arthur would come for him. I didn't believe it." She said quietly, watching the boys sleep silently as they healed from injuries. She glanced at Gaius, who had paused at her words. "Is it just Merlin? Or is he that way with everyone?"
Gaius thought over his next words carefully. "A little of both, I suppose." He finally answered, a small smile curling the corners of his mouth as he spoke fondly. "He and Merlin have a strong bond, but Arthur cares about all of his people. He's-"
"Different from Uther. I've gathered." She was quiet for a long moment before she smiled. "Good. Camelot is in good hands."
"So long as-" He stopped himself. He didn't need to burden the queen with the darker possibilities, and he shouldn't dwell on them anyway. Arthur would pull through, just like always.
But Merlin isn't able to save him this time.
Gaius pushed the thought away. Both boys would be fine, with time.
"They're lucky to have you." Amethyst muttered, and Gaius realized with a start that he'd not been controlling his emotions. He smiled gently at the queen.
"You've done a lot for this kingdom as well, your majesty." He gave her a small bow, and she nodded.
"Thank you Gaius." She left quickly and just as quietly as she'd entered. No one tried to speak with her as she walked, and she was sure it was the determined air with which she carried herself. It wasn't intentional; it was a reaction to the turmoil circling within, to hide it until she could deal with it.
When she arrived at the rooms they'd been given in the castle, Jeremy was still asleep. She watched him for a while, the gentle breathing as his body recovered from what had happened to him. He was a beautiful man, and even more so because she'd loved him so much and missed him so long. But there was something else she needed to solve, for herself if not for her husband.
There was minimal questioning when she showed up at the dungeons, because apparently the guards weren't feeling brave enough to discuss her presence for long. When she found Gwaine in the cell, his hands bound together, she felt a twinge of pain in her chest as she saw the once proud posture slumped in defeat. He didn't even look up when she stopped, staring instead at the hands that rested in front of him.
"Gwaine." Her voice was quiet, but she knew he heard it by the way his shoulders slumped further, if that was possible. It hurt, but she didn't let that show. Even if he wouldn't have seen it. She steadied herself and said his name again, louder.
"Highness." He said quietly.
"How are you feeling?"
He glanced up at her then, through layers of knotted hair. Then he returned his gaze to his hands and shrugged. "Like myself."
"Isn't that good?"
"I suppose it is."
His words were missing the lilt that came with his joking personality, and they fell painfully flat and insincere. She felt the frown on her face and didn't try to stop it. He wasn't looking at her anyway, it seemed.
"Do you feel..."
"I can't tell if it's still there. Gaius already asked me."
"I can ask Jeremy-"
"No."
She was startled by his sudden rejection, and it took her a moment to ask, "Why? He's a good man, he'll do whatever he can-"
"I don't trust him."
"Why not?" There was anger layered just under the hurt in her voice, an indignation that made little sense.
"I don't know him."
"I do."
"Do I really know you?"
And there it was. And he was right. That was why she had to ask, to settle things once and for all.
"Did you love me?"
It was his turn to pause, completely still, but she could see the way his mind worked. How to turn down a queen. She would have laughed, if it didn't hurt.
"I could have."
"But I have a husband."
"Yes."
"I never thought that would stop you."
He let out a harsh chuckle, surprised out of him by the ridiculous situation he was in and the way she so casually brought it up. "It wouldn't have."
"Except?"
Gwaine took a deep breath. "He's a good guy, and I know when I'm beat."
"Do you?"
"I do."
"I'm sorry, Gwaine."
"I know."
There wasn't anymore to say, and Amethyst took a few steps away from the cell. It was hard to pull herself away, she'd become invested in what they'd had for a short time. But she knew she would go back to Jeremy, because he was hers, and she was his.
"Thank you." She wasn't sure why she was thanking him. Maybe for the time he'd given her, the piece of his heart he wouldn't get back, the way he let her go. But he seemed to understand, because he nodded and met her eyes again, a small smile on his lips that couldn't be called happy.
M.M.M
Castle life continued, although it was stunted and halting without the king. Gaius informed everyone that Arthur slept for his own good, to regain his strength and heal properly and well. He didn't let them know about the moments when he woke, convinced that he was still in the battle. When he sobbed about the pain, or begged to help Merlin. He gave the king a near constant supply of pain killers and sleeping potions, in the hopes that he wouldn't move too much and cause more strain to the wound. Often it wasn't enough, and he would be forced to have Percival or one of the other knights help him.
Merlin slept for a solid week before he drowsily opened his eyes, muttering about Arthur's armor needing a good polish and he knew who should polish it.
"Merlin." Gaius voice was full of relief, and the warlock frowned for a moment before the memories all flood back through him. He sat up straight, looking everywhere with fear on his face. Morgana was bound to be around somewhere, lurking, waiting for an opportunity, he had to save Arthur-
"Merlin! Settle down, you're still weak-"
"Morgana, where is she? She was-"
"Gone."
"Gone?"
"Gone."
Merlin let himself be coaxed back against a mound of pillows as he processed the information. "What do you mean, gone?"
"She disappeared. No one has found her."
"She's not dead."
"I fear that's probably true."
Merlin took a deep breath and nodded. "But she'll stay away for a while."
"You have time to heal, Merlin. Let yourself."
It didn't take much convincing for the boy to lay down and relax, because the pain still residing in his wounds was a bit more than he could take. He'd put his body through a lot of strain in the past little while, and it was protesting mightily now that there wasn't any immediate danger.
"Where's Arthur?"
Gaius was quiet for a moment, and Merlin could see the hesitation as clearly as if it was his own.
"Gaius. What's happened?" His voice didn't bother to hide the fear or desperation, because nothing was more important than making sure his king was alright.
"After he brought you to me, he was very badly wounded."
"How badly?" He didn't miss that Gaius was attempting to hide the worst of the news from him, and he had a sinking feeling that he already knew. Oh, he was denying it with every fiber of his being, but it still whispered through his mind. Arthur had died. Merlin hadn't been able to save him, Morgana had gotten him and everything had been for naught.
"He's not been coherent when he's woken. He keeps breaking the scab and losing blood. I can't make him calm."
"He's not..." Merlin closed his eyes as relief washed over him. So he could still do something. He could still save his prat of a friend. That was, if Arthur was still willing to let him live in Camelot, if the revelation of his magic hadn't permanently torn that bond. But that was secondary to making sure Arthur lived.
Merlin began pushing himself up again, his eyes wandering over the room for the king. When his eyes found the blonde, he looked much different from the king Merlin had grown used to. His face looked so soft in sleep, but he was a far sight paler than usual, his hair was mussed where it touched the pillow and slick where it clung to his forehead with sweat.
"Merlin, lay back down." Gaius scolded, pressing gently against Merlin's tender shoulders.
"I have to help him-"
"There's nothing more you can do for him right now. You're too weak to be much help. Rest. Before I make you."
The threat was more a promise, and Merlin knew he had a selection of sleeping drafts ready for use the moment he deemed it necessary. He settled back once more, his eyes keeping track of Arthur and the stumbling rise and fall of his chest as he breathed.
"There wasn't poison or anything, was there?"
Gaius shook his head quickly, smoothing some of the frown lines on Merlin's face. "It was just a bad wound, and I'm still watching for infection. But he's doing as well as I expected."
"And..." Merlin wasn't sure he wanted to know, but he had to ask. "How did it...?"
That seemed to make Gaius slouch more than discussing the injuries the king had sustained. Merlin frowned, afraid he knew the answer, unsure how it could have happened.
"Gwaine had escaped from the dungeon and... it was clear to everyone that it wasn't something he wanted to do, and he begged for the king to be saved once it was finished. There will be no charges pressed against him, once we've made sure the curse has run its course."
"Is he-?"
"He's shown no more signs, but he's still being held in the dungeons."
Merlin began to pull himself up, and Gaius sighed heavily. "Merlin, if you would please hold still and rest-"
"I'm going to see him."
"I was afraid you'd say that."
Merlin sat up and threw his legs over the side, ignoring the small pains that broke out along all of the old wounds and the larger pain from where he'd taken Morgana's attacks. Gaius stepped out of the room, and moments later Percival stepped into the room. He arrived at Merlin's side just as the sorcerer stumbled, catching him easily and offering him a steadying arm. Merlin thanked him quietly, glancing at Gaius with the tips of his ears burning red. But he didn't mind much that Percival remained by his side even when he was walking – limping – on his own, and Gaius didn't seem ready to stop him. He must have seen how important it was in Merlin's eyes.
He didn't know that Merlin was determined to do everything he could for the kingdom before Arthur was forced to banish or execute him. He'd leave the castle in good shape, so Arthur would have to deal with as much. He'd have enough to deal with when he woke, anyway.
He wouldn't blame Arthur when it happened. He was strangely prepared for it, ready to accept whatever fate awaited him. He'd done what he was supposed to do. He'd saved Arthur. Maybe, with time, Arthur would realize that was the only thing his magic was for, that not all magic was evil, and that would bring about the changes that Albion so desperately needed.
Percival only offered help when Merlin stumbled and couldn't correct it himself, which the boy appreciated. He wanted to do it on his own, something he'd been struggling with for much too long.
"Alright?" The knight asked after a while in silence, letting Merlin get the hang of walking again after a week of sleep.
"I'm fine."
And unlike Arthur, Percival accepted that it wasn't entirely the truth but it was what Merlin chose to believe. Had to believe, to keep himself going.
When he saw Gwaine, it hurt a little. The knight clearly remembered the events that had occurred, what had happened at his hands but not by his will. It showed in his posture, in the way he stared at a single spot in front of him, his complete ignorance of Merlin's presence.
"Gwaine." The man's head shot up at Merlin's words, and there was a ghost of the smile the sorcerer was used to seeing on the knight's face. It wasn't near as wide as usual, and there was clearly a deep sense of self-loathing beneath it, but at least he wasn't completely ruined by the events he'd been forced to live through.
"Merlin. Alright?"
"Fine. You?"
"I've been better. You here to make sure...?"
Merlin nodded, and Gwaine stood and made his way closer to the bars.
"What do you need me to do?"
"Just stand still." Merlin answered, reaching for the magic that had lain mostly dormant for the week he'd been asleep. It came easily at his call, and he used it to reach into Gwaine to find the darkness that had been present before. When he found nothing, he sighed in relief and met the questioning look in Gwaine's eyes.
"Is it there?" He asked quietly.
"It's gone." He hoped. He'd been wrong before, but now it felt... different. Clean. Whole.
Some of the heaviness lifted from Gwaine's shoulders, and some of the spark returned to his eyes. But there was still a lot of pain in him, and Merlin understood. He wouldn't try to make Gwaine feel better, not right now. That was something only Arthur would be able to do, and once he had received forgiveness from the King, Merlin would offer encouragement.
"You'll have to wait until Arthur..."
"Yeah."
Merlin watched as Gwaine went back to his spot on the floor, leaning against the wall. After a moment, Merlin sat down with only minimal assistance from Percival, who did the same once Merlin was situated.
"What are you doing?"
"Waiting with you."
"Shouldn't you be helping Arthur?" The pain in those words was tangible, and Merlin's resolve hardened. He didn't think the knight should be alone right now, and it was with slight surprise that Percival gave voice to his words.
"You need help, too."
And Gwaine accepted that.
AN/ Hey friendlies, sorry for the long wait on this chapter! Things are wrapping up, I hope to have everything finished in one more chapter (two, if I'm unable). So I hope you enjoyed, please tell me what you think!
