There's this hut that's on the beach, a half-mile from the town; the town which I had decided to name Hellhole. I'd found the hut while chasing after an old lady's hat that was carried by the stupid ocean breeze. She'd given me some sort of cookie as a thank you, but I would've rather had her keep it. It tasted like a sea-sponge.
The hut, I suppose, had once been a home, but it is no bigger than my own bedroom back in District Twelve. It has holes in the rotting wood of its walls, and the metal roof is so rusted in some places that sunlight finds its way into the windowless structure.
This place smells like dead fish, and there are piles of dust and debris in the corners, but it's empty and that's all I need.
This is the place where I breakdown.
I sit in the center of the room, head in my hands, trying to sort through my thoughts. I'm sure Peeta's looking for me, but he can last thirty minute without me by his side. I hope.
I'm one of those people that's never expected to keep their composure, because of my publicity stunts that were broadcasted throughout all of Panem. Everyone knows I speak my mind.
But I'm only good at channeling certain emotions.
Anger is the easiest. I'm easily pissed off, and it's unbearably obvious when I am.
Happiness is a little harder; I've been told I always look depressed, or that I reek of pessimism. But I can act happy if I need to.
The hardest emotion for me to contain, or get across to people, is confusion. I hate being confused. Not having control or knowledge of a situation drives me crazy, and I don't know how to express confusion because, well… I'm confused.
So I have these moments where I sort of mutate my confusion into adrenaline or anger, and let it out that way. In other words, I make it easier on myself.
With my fists by my sides, I take a deep breath through my nose and let it out through my mouth, letting my mind wander through the things I'm questioning, the things I'm not quite sure about, and the things I'm doubting.
I'm questioning the loyalty of the Stark siblings.
I'm not quite sure about how I feel on the topic of Peeta's last episode.
And I'm doubting that I'm going to purely enjoy life for more than two consecutive hours in my entire lifespan.
My head snaps up at the sound of rustling outside the cabin-type building I'm in. I take a deep breath and push myself into a standing position, slowly as to not make any noise. I don't know if I've broken into someone's private property or not.
The makeshift door of the hut swings open, and Reilly's head sticks in. Her eyes are wide, and I hear an exasperated sigh from her lips, although they don't move.
"I'm sorry if I… Like, broke in to someone's… ah…" I stutter, blinking innocently. Of course, who can I fool by pretending to be 'innocent'?
"No, this place has been abandoned for a decade." She takes a step inside and her eyes sweep over the roof and floor until they meet mine.
"Yeah, I kind of figured." I reach out and brush my fingertips against the wall, rusty dust turning them orange.
"It was-" She stops and swallows before continuing, "It's where I was born."
I can see no pain in her expression, but I know it's there. She looks so composed and pulled-together from the outside. I know from experience what that means about her inside.
"I'm sorry." I say, barely audible. Apologies aren't really my forte.
"No, it's okay. Just haven't been here in a while." She chews on her lip, "Well, the reason I'm here is because half the town's looking for you."
"Why?" I ask. Half of the town is only maybe a dozen people, but I've only been gone for maybe ten minutes.
"Something on the television. We all thought you might want to see." She smiles and motions for me to follow her outside.
Most things on the news pertain to me, even if I haven't done anything special in the past year. Of course, the huge wedding catastrophe might have been a hit, but it's been like a month since it happened. And I wouldn't want to see that broadcasted.
We make our way back up the small hill to town, and I see no one in the streets, giving the place an eerie ghost town feeling.
Reilly leads me into one of the bigger buildings on the main street, and I see the whole population of the town gathered around one small buzzing TV. Their full attention is turned from the flashing screen to me and Reilly as we enter, the door slamming obnoxiously noisily behind me. It makes me cringe a little, both the loud noise and the attention.
I see Peeta across the room, and he looks up as the door settles back into its place. His eyes land on me, and he gives a faint smile, one that I can barely see. I smile back at him, still seeing him as vulnerable from his last attack. It pains me to see him like this.
I turn my attention to the TV, head throbbing with an incoming headache.
There's a reporter on the screen, one that's fairly normal looking compared to the old Capitol reporters, whose outfits took up the entire screen.
This woman is fit into a blazer and pencil skirt, and her normal chestnut hair is pulled into a tight ponytail.
"Good afternoon, Panem. This message has been recorded and will be replayed all throughout the day, as to inform every citizen." The audio from the system is terrible, making her voice sound extremely fuzzy. "As you all know, Mr. Peeta Mellark and Ms. Katniss Everdeen's wedding was attacked about one month ago. Since then, we have not heard from them." My old name sounds awkward, rolling off her tongue as I'm sure it has dozens of times before. "Our investigations and processes have led us to believe that the two were abducted by a group of rogue District Four people. What they are doing with the couple has not yet been revealed. This message is for anyone who has any information on the whereabouts of the two. If they have been abducted, the Capitol will find them." The audio turns scratchy, and the woman on the screen is replaced by a shiny blank screen, reflecting the petrified faces of the viewers.
"What does that mean?" I demand.
"It means we have to go back to the Capitol and tell them what's really going on." Peeta's eyebrows are knit together in deep thought, and he makes his way around the crowd to me.
"Back? But that's where we're most vulnerable!" My eyes widen.
"No, Katniss. Why we haven't gone home yet… It's because they're waiting for us to return. The die-hard Capitols." He says slowly, as if my head will explode if he tries to explain any quicker. Which it might.
"So, what? We go back and have every one of them taken into custody, and then live the rest of our lives in constant fear that they've escaped? I don't think so." I look up at him, jaw clenched tight. He reaches up and brushes a strand of hair behind my ear, gently. He is treating me like a dangerous explosive.
"Not at all. We go back, tell them what's been going on, and they handle everything. It's their job to keep us safe."
"Not everyone is successful at their jobs."
"Well then, I have you to protect me, don't I?" he asks quietly, taking my hand in his. "And I'll never let anyone hurt you."
I hate when he does this. His soft tone of voice and gentle touches tear down my defenses, brick by brick. He knows how to persuade me, and I care too much to back down.
He kisses my forehead, and asks in my ear, "Trust me?"
"Okay." I whisper back, one fist clenched by my side. I'm not happy about giving in, but I can't do otherwise with his lips so close to mine. I'm thinking about pressing my mouth to his, but then I remember that the whole town is in the room with us, and I pull back slowly, slipping my hand out of his.
I look over the crowd, all of them watching us, and feel heat rush to my face. Talk about awkward.
"So, who can give us a ride back to the Capitol?" Peeta flashes everyone his award-winning grin.
"I will." A hand is raised in the back of the crowd, "After all, I got you here."
((A/N Review! :D))
