Bruce's Log- Day ?

I lost all sense of time. I walked around the darkness, but there was nothing in it except whatever I was standing on. I couldn't tell where I had been or where I was. I kept walking forward, or tried to. The further I went, the more I felt something changing. I shivered, and realized what it was- somehow, I was getting shorter. I felt like I was a child again. I rubbed my hands together. My fingers and palms had shrunk.

'This can't be happening.'

I felt hot. Heat flared up all around me. The darkness still surrounded me, but it wasn't pitch black. It was dirty, and gray was mixed in with black. I was staring into plumes of smoke. I suddenly found myself huddled in a corner. My hands shook.

'Oh no. I remember this.'

A voice, distinct among the crackling fire that surrounded me, shouted.

"BRUCE! Where are you?"

'Don't come in here. Every time you do, it's the same...'

I couldn't stop myself from answering. My mouth opened and I yelled, even though I willed myself not to. I wasn't in control. I never was in control when I had this nightmare. From within the black smoke a large, strong figure emerged. I only remembered half of his face anymore. He took me up from the nook I had squeezed into, wrapping a blanket around me. I recognized his life long partner, a one-armed Nidoking, ushering him out of the bedroom. Nidoking was holding up the door's frame. It collapsed as soon as his hand moved.

'Run! Run downstairs and get out!'

His voice rang out above the blaze again. I knew what he was going to say. I wanted to stop him, something, anything, to stop him, but I was only reliving the nightmare. I couldn't change it.

"Nidoking, run ahead and try to Dig a tunnel to the outside!"

He flew down the stairs ahead of us. The smoke grew thicker. He started coughing, bent down low to the ground. I was too big for him to carry if he tried to crawl beneath the smoke, but I clung to him anyway. I heard the creak. It was loud, and grew to into a thunderous groan. The ceiling overhead gave way. A huge pile of debris plummeted down all at once. He was sluggish because of the smoke. He only noticed at the last second. I went flying out of his arms. I landed against a wall. The sound of the house foundations collapsing roared over the flames. I looked up at him and I saw his face, what was left of it. He was slowly being crushed under the wreckage and eaten by the fire. I tried to call for Nidoking, but my throat was too hoarse from the smoke. It was too late when he finally heard me. In a fit of desperation he fought to save his master. But even he had trouble breathing in the thick smoke.

"There's not enough time, old friend! Take Bruce and get out! That's an order!"

The purple poison Pokémon cried out. He urged us to leave. I wanted to move to him, but I was too scared by what I saw happening to him. More ceiling came down. Nidoking took me onto his shoulder. I flailed. I watched his face disappear from sight beneath the rest of the collapsing structure.

"DAD!"

For a moment, I was back in darkness. But the nightmare wasn't over. I knew what came next. Nidoking came back into view, on a hospital cot. I was still wrapped in the blanket. I stood next to him. He was burned all over, and his breathing was shallow and ragged. His only arm drifted off the table toward me. His eyes were half-lidded. He cried quietly, feeling my face with his powerful hand. Then he lay still.

'I never forgot. I swear I didn't.'

The darkness came flooding back. I heard Mewtwo's voice again.

"You spent every day since then in fear. Fear of flames. Fear of fire. You cowered from anything that put out heat. Stoves, ovens, even lamps brought you back to that last, disgusting image of your father's face."

The darkness was broken apart by a torrent of images, memories of moments in my childhood that had been ruined by sheer, overwhelming terror. The years of torment cycled through rapidly, forcing me to experience each moment of terror all at once again.

"Yet of all the choices you could have made, you decided to become a trainer, and you made a fire-type your starter."

The images gave way to blinding whiteness, images of Jenso and me slowly passing by. I couldn't respond. My mouth wouldn't move.

"Everyone else you've met on your journey has been fooled by your facade, believing that your bond with your Charizard was special. But I know the truth."

The visions changed. I saw Jenso as a Charmeleon, paralyzed by Erika's Victreebel. I saw him bleeding and battered in chains in Saffron. I saw him standing, barely conscious and fatally wounded, after the collapse of the lab on Cinnabar.

"You chose him because your fear of fire grew into hatred. You picked him because you despise anything that produces fire. You blame them for taking your friend and father from you. You knew the journey would be dangerous, so you brought him with you, because you wanted to watch him suffer, to make him take punishment for their deaths! Every battle he lives through makes you hate him that much more."

My body tensed. I felt my face heat up. I managed to grit my teeth. I hissed.

"No."

Mewtwo didn't hear me. He went on.

"But you hate much more than that."

Nidoking came back, his dying form burned into my eyes.

"You couldn't bring yourself to feel any sympathy for him, nor even express any gratitude. Because you blamed him."

I felt emotion swelling up. My arms shook, straining against the energy that held me.

"Shut. Up."

Mewtwo ignored me.

"You wished he had died instead of your father. You blamed him for not being strong enough. You were an ungrateful brat. But, above all others, you despise-"

Nidoking vanished. My father's face, half-burned and distorted in pain, flooded my mind. I cringed.

"Him. If only he had gotten out sooner, if only he hadn't taken so long finding you. If only, then you wouldn't have spent your childhood tortured by fears of fire. You could have had a normal life. And you finally decided it was his fault."

My father slowly faded. I saw Mewtwo's form in the distance amid the whiteness. His eyes were judgmental.

"What kind of person must you be to hate your starter, your savior, and worst of all, your own fathe-"

My face was burning. My hands clenched into fists. I shook violently free of Mewtwo's hold on my body.

"QUIT ACTING LIKE YOU CAN READ AND UNDERSTAND ME, YOU DAMNED PSYCHOTIC FREAK!"

He was silent. I felt solid ground under my feet again. I had struck a nerve. I was too livid to care. I glared at him, hissing through gritted teeth.

"I chose Jenso for my starter because he's a fire-type, that's true. But not because I wanted some kind of stupid compensation for the years I spent afraid of fire. I did it to prove that I had overcome my fears by learning how to avoid being paralyzed by it!"

I felt my body start growing out of my eight-year-old size, back into my full height.

"I love Jenso. I could never hate him because we support one another! I'm no master, and he is no beast, we are partners!"

I took a step forward. Mewtwo's form flickered.

"Second, my father's Nidoking was my hero as a kid. I regret that I didn't thank him for saving me, but I was too upset over losing him and my father to think about it. Nidoking's strength is a standard that I've held my team to ever since we started our journey, because I respected and admired him that much!"

Mewtwo backed away. He stuttered something, trying to retort, but I wasn't listening and I wasn't through.

"And you have NO right in the world to assume anything about how I feel about my dad! I've wondered about how life would be different if he had survived, but never, EVER, have I blamed him for what happened, or for my childhood! I hold him as MY standard of strength, and my memories of him are what drove me to face my fear!"

I threw my hand out, pointing with a hand shaky from emotion at him.

"You made a huge mistake! Those nightmares are the source of my worst fears, but more than anything else, they motivate me to keep moving forward, so I never have to spend nights tormented by them again! All you managed to do is tick me off! NOW, ARE YOU FINISHED WITH YOUR MIND GAMES?!"

Silence blared in my ears. Mewtwo's form vanished. I was still surrounded by whiteness, but for a moment, I was alone. Then, of all things, a young girl, no older than I was in my nightmares, appeared.

"Hello, Bruce."

She smiled. Part of me was still angry and wary of any more tricks. But I didn't sense the same threatening atmosphere that I had earlier.

"Who are you?"

"I'm Amber. A piece of Mewtwo."

I blinked at her. She hovered closer to me.

"You scare the Manipulator away for a bit, so I'm able to come out now."

I stared at her.

"What are you talking about? I thought-"

"I'm Mewtwo's friend from the lab. I was grown like he was, in a tube. Well, I was grown, he was put into one, but we were next to each other!"

I slowly put pieces together in my head.

"You're a clone?"

"Was a clone. I wasn't strong enough to last. Mewtwo missed me too much, so his mind broke up and part of it became me. I'm not the real Amber, just what he remembers about me."

She looked over her shoulder. She looked nervous.

"Who's the manipulator?"

"He's the one the Beast and I made up to hate humans so that the real Mewtwo wouldn't have to. Ever since the Beast broke us out of the lab and brought us here, he's been in control."

I held my palm to my forehead. She fidgeted with her hair.

"So, you're all in the same body, but different... personalities?"

She clapped her hands and nodded, smiling.

"Yes! Anyway, I can't stay out for very long. He'll come out again soon. But I have a favor to ask."

I shifted my weight from one foot to the other.

"What's that?"

"Save him. My friend, the real Mewtwo."

I stared at her.

"Wha-"

"Please, he's coming back. Promise me."

I scratched my head.

"How do I do that?"

She nudged my forehead.

"You just need to take us away from here. If you can prove to the Manipulator that he can't make you his puppet, he'll have no idea what to do. He won't be able to keep the Beast inside anymore."

I felt sweat on my brow.

"Is the Beast the real one?"

She shook her head.

"No. He's the one I made up to endure the pain in the lab. He's strong, but that's really all he needs to be. He only fights because he's protecting the little one, the real Mewtwo. You just have to prove to the Beast that you can control Mewtwo if he gets emotional. The child won't learn otherwise."

The whiteness around us warped and flickered. Amber's face turned pale.

"Just take the little one somewhere safe and teach him about life, so he can survive without relying on any of us."

Another, stronger flicker distorted the whiteness. Amber's image slowly faded.

"He won't be giving you any chance to argue this time. He's going to throw all the doubt and regret he can at you. Good luck!"

"How am I supposed to fight without my team?"

I couldn't see her anymore. Her voice lingered. She was giggling.

"They haven't gone anywhere. Just call to them, and they'll answer when you need them."

Her voice went quiet. The whiteness gave way to a murky grey. Mewtwo, or, the Manipulator, reappeared. He was smiling. I felt a chill.

"So, you love your Pokémon and your family. That's very good. Excellent, in fact."

A blue glow emanated from his eyes.

"Because your team hates you."

I felt a pang in my chest. I took a step back.

"More and more, every time you let yourself fail them as their trainer."

Six silhouettes appeared between Mewtwo and me. I shuddered. My hands turned cold. I recognized them. A Butterfree. A Pidgey. A Rattata. A Nidoqueen. A Weepinbell. A Sandslash.

"A person who lets his Pokémon, after they put their complete trust in you, die doesn't deserve to be a trainer! Look! Look at them, and see what suffering they're enduring because of you!"

I stepped backward and fell. They were the ones I'd lost. My dead teammates. All of them, Athena, Ares, Gonzales, Xena, Gaia, Baxter, all were standing in front of me. But they weren't whole. They were the same as they had been when I saw them for the last time. I felt nauseous. Athena's wings were shredded, hanging by a thread. Ares wasn't any better. His eyes were gone, his head nearly severed from his body. Gonzales was limping on three legs, his skull cracked open. Xena had a gaping chest wound, her armor almost entirely broken. Gaia was bleeding everywhere, shrapnel and debris embedded in her body. Baxter's chest was gone, only a hole that I could see through remained, his blood soaking the ground.

'No... This isn't real.'

I shut my eyes. I could still hear them. They were moving toward me. I stood up. I focused. I called to my team, one by one.

"DYNO! KRATOS! STARSCREAM! POSEIDON! TYRONE! JENSO!"

I opened my eyes. I saw them. They were ready to fight, and they were with me. I looked back at Mewtwo. He was glowering at me. The injuries of my former teammates faded. Whole again, they charged toward me in succession. I thrust my arm forward.

"Back me up! I need to get through to Mewtwo!"

I started running forward. My team followed. Athena was the first to meet us. I heard a voice in my head. I realized it was hers.

"We trusted you with our lives. We placed them into your hands. Yet you let us down, you betrayed that trust within less than a full week! You watched us die! What right do you have to the trust of the Pokémon you haven't killed yet?"

I sent Starscream forward to face her.

'I don't know why you trusted me so much. But the reasons don't matter. The fact that I trusted all of you until the very end, as much as you trusted me, is what matters! That mutual respect is the only reason I still think I can fill the role of a trainer!'

Starscream knocked her out of the sky. I kept running. Ares came at me next. His voice, loud and brash, rang in my head. I called Kratos.

"We could have been so much more, could have been so much stronger! We would have been, too, all for you! We could have been a part of an unstoppable team! But you never took the time to raise us, to help us realize our full potential! You just kept pushing until you couldn't push us anymore and then you replaced us!"

I kept my pace, but I couldn't help watching little Ares actually match blows with Kratos. I tore my eyes away.

'I never replaced any you. I made new friends. I found new teammates. The place you held with me has never been filled, not in my mind. Every time I failed, I grew from it. I'm sorry it took so much for me to grow as much I needed to, but your memory is what reminds me what it takes to be strong!'

Kratos overpowered Ares, swatting him out of the air. I kept my course straight, focused on Mewtwo. Something small and purple darted around me. Gonzales bared his teeth, leaping for me. Dyno's thunder cracked through the air, knocking him back. His high-pitched voice echoed.

"You resented us, the weakest ones, from the moment you realized how fragile we were! I couldn't help it, but you blamed me anyway! You blamed all of us for being weaker than the others! You kept putting us out in front because you wanted to get rid of us!"

'I put you all out there because you wanted to prove that you could handle the same pace that Jenso and the others could. I never doubted any of you for a moment, and I never blamed any of you for being the way you were. You gave to much for me to resent you at all.'

Dyno overwhelmed even Gonzales with his speed, clashing with him head on and putting him down with a surge of electricity. I didn't stop until I felt the ground rumbling beneath me. The grayness beneath me opened up into a gaping chasm. I saw Xena just ahead, glaring at me. I heard her voice.

"You never lamented or mourned for any of us! We were just machines, shields, drones for you to use that expired in your mind! You never cared if we lost our lives, even if it was for you!"

I yelled for Poseidon. He caught me. I rode across the chasm on his head. Xena leapt toward us, brandishing her horn.

'I mourn a little for each and every one of you every day. I never saw any of you as creatures. You were my friends. Together, we were a family that made my journey, our adventures, possible.'

Poseidon's crest met with Xena's horn. I took a running jump from Poseidon's head, falling through the gray. A storm of vines and leaves erupted toward me from below. Gaia was at their source. Her voice shouted at me.

"You had no excuses! You knew the dangers and the risks each time we fought! Why did you insist on marching us forward so recklessly, without a thought for our safety, for our lives?!"

I yelled for Tyrone to burn the leaves with Night Shade. He caught me long before I hit the ground with Psychic, and we flew above the vines that clawed for me in the air.

'There was no way that I could have known from secondhand accounts what life would be like. I didn't have any other way to learn what it took to survive on a journey like this except for living it with you firsthand.'

I ordered Tyrone to release me. He dropped down to ward off Gaia. I whistled for Jenso. I landed on his back. We sailed through the air toward Mewtwo. Below us, only a few yards away from him, I saw Baxter. His head was hanging. I heard his voice, sniffling and quiet.

"How can you live with yourself, putting more lives at risk even knowing what could happen, after what you did to us? How do you justify it? Do you even care?"

Baxter watched us with teary eyes. His claws were raised, ready to attack. I whispered for Jenso to strike.

'I cared more than anyone else could ever understand. I cherished each of you. And I do still regret losing you, every time I wake up and realize you aren't there. I push forward because of that. So that I can try to give your sacrifices some kind of meaning.'

I slid off Jenso's back as we neared the ground while he let loose a blast of fire.

'I thank you all for each and every day of your lives that you gave to me!'

I glared at Mewtwo. I started sprinting again. There were only a few feet between us. Nothing else stood in my way. He retreated, his hands held out in front of him.

"Stay back! Keep away from me!"

He glowed with psychic energy. My legs grew heavier. I pushed ahead, trudging forward.

"Are you inhuman?! How aren't you broken by all the fear, how aren't you crippled by the shame and regret?!"

I reared my hand behind my head, clenching it into a fist. My arms grew heavy too. I could barely keep one elevated. But I refused to fall to my knees. I knew I wouldn't stand up again.

"I'm reminded of my regrets every day. But I can't let it consume me, or I'll become paralyzed. I've spent too much of my life frozen by fear already, and I'll be damned if I'm going to let doubt do the same!"

He was up against a wall. There were inches between us. I shouted, concentrating everything on hitting him, just once, to end the illusions.

"I'm done playing your games! You can't break me, not now, not ever! So quit toying with me, freak! Come on-"

I swung my fist down at him.

"And fight!"

The grayness around us shattered. I felt a dull thud, and felt pain in my hand. Silence reigned for half an instant. Then, I heard an anguished, bloodcurdling scream more nerve-wracking than anything I'd ever heard. And I knew that I was in for the fight of my life.