Forever Until Now
Chapter 29;; Scarlet Petals
She didn't turn to face him. She knew what would happen if she did. He would pull her back, of course. It would be all too easy for him…
It was bliss. If there was such thing as perfection, Victoria had found it – and in the arms of Macavity, no less.
If anyone had asked her just a few weeks back if she was going to fall for him, she would have said no. In fact, she would have asked them if they were crazy. Victoria with Macavity? It sounded ridiculous. But she couldn't resist him – somehow, he had charmed her. He's not as bad as he makes himself out to be, she argued in her own head.
But when he pulled her into his lap and kissed her neck, all thoughts left her head. She sighed and leant into him, glad that at least they had their own spot of privacy. Of course, it was possible that they would be disturbed, but Macavity had promised her that he wouldn't allow it.
Even so, Victoria wasn't sure if she even minded. She ached for Macavity – how had it changed so quickly? He'd sworn up and down that he hadn't hypnotized her. No, she really, truly wanted him.
"I'm surprised," he murmured in her ear, removing his lips from her neck. His breath fluttered at her ear, tickling.
"Mm?"
"I never thought that this would happen… but here we are." He traced patterns in her fur, eyes bemused. "Macavity… and pretty, pure Victoria."
"I want this," Victoria said with confidence.
"Yeah, I was hoping that."
"So, Macavity… do you love me?" Victoria's asked playfully. She twisted around and locked her arms around his neck.
"Eh, maybe."
"Promise me this'll-"
"Last forever?" Macavity tipped his head to one side, guessing the rest of her sentence. She blushed. "You're so sentimental, Victoria. No such thing as forever, honey. It'll all end someday, the whole world, existence – maybe I'll be the one to destroy it."
"I suppose forever isn't very reliable anyway." Victoria buried her face into his neck. "I should've learned the first time, huh?" she continued, voice muffled.
"Forever is silly," Macavity laughed. "Forever is for sissies."
"Then promise me that this will last." Victoria removed her face from his fur and tightened her grip on his neck so that it was almost choking. "Go on," she cooed.
"It'll last until it ends, I swear," Macavity smirked. "Now, can I go back to kissing you?"
As a response, Victoria pressed her lips to his. Tongues intertwined and explored, body heats rose. When they stopped to breathe, Victoria was dizzy.
"Do you love me?" she pressed.
"Stop with the talking," Macavity growled, bringing his lips back to hers.
She shrugged her shoulders – she would get her answer one day, plain and simple and pulled right from his lips.
When Mungojerrie and Rumpleteazer arrived back at the Junkyard, the last thing they were expecting was for Jemima to greet them so enthusiastically. But she did – and then, what was worse, she continued to drag out her friends and suddenly, they were pinned to the ground.
"Wha' in the world?" Mungojerrie yowled, squirming.
"Ge' off!" Rumpleteazer squealed, thrashing.
"Wait." Electra stepped forward – she had escaped the job of holding the two cats down. "First, we'd like to know exactly where you were the past few days." She grinned devilishly at them. "Then we'll let you go – no strings attached!"
They both faltered in their struggling. "Um, uh," Mungojerrie mumbled. "We were, y'know, on 'oliday with our owners…"
"Lovely," Electra said, her voice infuriatingly pleasant. "Pray tell, where'd you go?"
"The Bahamas!" Rumpleteazer blurted.
Everyone, even Mungojerrie, looked baffled. "Wha' in Heaviside is that?" Mungojerrie hissed.
"Well, thanks, Jer," Rumpleteazer grumbled. "Now look a' wha' yah've done." She gestured towards Electra, who was practically writhing in glee.
"Oh, uh…" Mungojerrie laughed sheepishly. "Yeah, we've been up tah no good, I s'pose. Ou' and abou'… stealin' from the rich, givin' to the poor, y'know…"
"Meeting with Macavity," Electra put in.
Mungojerrie nodded to this. Then, he shook his head fervently. "Ah, no, we've been doin' no such thing," he said defensively.
"Then why'd you nod?" Electra chuckled.
"Cos 'e's stupid, tha's whoi," Rumpleteazer put in before he could speak and ruin everything. "Yah know Mungojerrie… nevah thinks before 'e speaks."
"Oi do so!" Mungojerrie protested indignantly. "Who was the one who blabbed abou' goin' on 'oliday to the bananas, eh?"
"Wha'evah," Rumpleteazer muttered.
"So obviously, we're having trouble coming up with an appropriate lie." Electra looked like she was having way too much fun.
"'Ow did you know anyway?" Rumpleteazer asked with a sigh. "I mean …no' as if we're sayin' you're righ', of course…"
"Misto," Electra answered simply.
Mungojerrie and Rumpleteazer both cursed.
"Whoi are yah spyin' on us anyway?" Mungojerrie groaned. "Oi swear we wasn't up to any bad business! 'E just asked us for a few favors, y'know? There was no 'arm in it!"
"Favors?" Jemima asked from where she was helping Misto hold Rumpleteazer to the ground.
"None a' your business," Rumpleteazer said.
"Where is Macavity right now?" Electra asked, suddenly serious.
"Whoi does it matter to yah?" Mungojerrie growled, his struggles renewed with extra desperation.
"I don't think you're in the position to ask questions," Electra replied menacingly. "Remember, it'd be easy to go to Munkustrap and inform him of certain misdeeds that a certain near identical pair have been up to…" She bared her teeth, looking very odd doing so.
"Yah wouldn't!" Rumpleteazer gasped, horrified. "Tha's blackmail! You… you… you nasty little rats!" she spat, her temper well and truly lost.
"We would," Electra shrugged. "In fact… Jemima, why don't you head off right-"
"Okay, okay!" Mungojerrie relented. "We'll… we'll give the info…" He bit his lip.
"No, Jer… we told Macs…" Rumpleteazer wrung her hands.
"'E's not a good cat anyway," Mungojerrie sighed. To the others, he said, "Look, Oi got no oidea whoi exactly yah wanna know where Macavity is… bu' I got no choice bu' tah tell yah. 'E's at the other end of town with a buncha whoite cats."
Rumpleteazer moaned and clutched at her pearl necklace.
"Thank you very much," Electra said. Plato, Misto and Jemima stood back, releasing their 'captives'. Without a single glance back, they scooted off.
"White cats…" Plato said softly. "Now we know exactly where Macavity is."
Misto just stared uneasily at the ground.
Later, Plato found himself having a very awkward conversation with Tumblebrutus. He'd simply meant to pass by without even a single glance, but the other tom had grabbed him by the arm and pulled him back.
"Look, Plato," he said. "Do you have any idea what's going on?"
Plato blinked slowly, green eyes carefully guarded. "What on earth are you on about, Tumble?" he said in his usual drawl.
"Etcy. She… looks like she's going mad, I swear. And most of my friends – yeah, including you – seem to be hiding something. Sneaking around like thieves. I don't like it, Plato."
"You must be imagining things," Plato shrugged.
"I doubt that. And where is Etcy anyway? I've been looking for her, just to see if she's alright, but I can't find her anywhere!"
This did spark interest within Plato. "You… can't find her? Are you sure?"
"Positive," Tumblebrutus affirmed. "Look, I've been round all her favorite spots a dozen times – I've looked over practically the whole Junkyard! I asked everyone to look out for her, but no one's seen her. She's gone, Plato."
"Fuck."
Plato didn't stay to chat any longer. He went straight to Misto – after all, the conjuring cat was perhaps the only one who could help him.
"Misto," he panted, bursting into the tuxedo cat's den. He was alone, but the scents of Electra and Jemima lingered from a visit probably not too long ago. "Misto, I need your help."
"What's up?"
"Etcy… apparently, she's gone." Plato's voice was edged with fear, and Misto understood the direness of the situation at once. He closed his eyes and let his awareness spread across the Junkyard.
"No sign of her close by," he said vaguely, still searching. "I'm in the outskirts of the Junkyard… she's not here. She is gone."
"Fuck," Plato said again. "Fuck, fuck, fuck."
"Calm down…" Misto said, his voice still dreamy.
"I will not calm down!" Plato yelled. "She's in danger, dammit, Etcy, and she's probably going to get herself killed! Fuck!"
"Shh… I'm still searching…"
Plato sucked in a deep breath and held it. Misto would find her, and then he could go out and fetch her back. No worries. Everything was going to be alright.
"Plato…?" Misto said finally, eyes snapping open at last. Plato jumped and gazed fervently at him, claws digging into the palms of his hands. "Um… bad news," he continued in a small voice. "I can't find her anywhere in this city."
Etcetera stared, wide-eyed, at the white cat. "Victoria?" she whispered, baffled. "I thought… I thought you were dead."
The white queen blinked, and only then did Etcetera note the color of her eyes. Green. "Oh kitten," Alyana chuckled. "Still the same Etcetera I remember."
"What're you doing here?" Etcetera was so sure that she was asleep, yet Alyana looked vividly real. And they were in her den! So, was it real?
"I thought I might do a good deed and show you something you'll like," Alyana replied, smiling broadly.
"Something I might like…?" Etcetera yawned slightly. "Alright, but be quick. I'm tired."
Alyana's lips quirked into something that might or might not have been a smile. She offered a lovely white paw to Etcetera. Feeling nervous for some reason, Etcetera loosely took hold of it. Alyana tightened her own grip and together they strolled as if on a walk through the terraces on a Sunday morning.
"Where are we going?" Etcetera asked, yawning again.
"To a place," Alyana said. "A place of vivid colors and smells – it's lovely." And then she started laughing, so hard that she had to stop and lean against a wall, gasping and clutching at her stomach. Etcetera wanted to rip her paw away and run, but Alyana was surprisingly strong. "Alright. Let's move." She winked at Etcetera, only succeeding in freaking the tabby out.
They walked for a long time – Etcetera's palm grew clammy and she was embarrassed that she was sweating. Alyana wouldn't let go, though. She didn't seem to care. Every time Etcetera tugged away, Alyana just held on harder.
"Here we are." Finally, Alyana let go, only to flourish dramatically. Etcetera glanced around. The first thing the struck her about the unfamiliar place was the flowers. They thrust themselves at her, clamoring to be looked at. Their colors were so vibrant, Etcetera swore that they glowed. Their scent was heavy in the air.
"The flowers," Etcetera said dizzily.
"Do you like my children?" Alyana questioned, eyes glowing as she fingered a petal on a flower fondly.
"Your, er… children?" Etcetera reached out to touch a flower as well, but Alyana slapped her hand away.
"Get off," she snapped. "Now, I don't dare come go any further in…" She had to swallow her laughter before she continued. "So onwards you go." She gestured to a cobblestone path that led into a series of what looked like dens.
"Alone?" Etcetera's eyed widened. "I'll get lost!"
"Do it for Victoria," Alyana cooed.
And then, she was gone, and Etcetera woke up.
And why, just why, was she in the same place she'd been in her dream?
"Would you just calm down, Plato?" Electra snapped.
They were in the old den again, perhaps for the last time. Jemima was leaning, half-asleep, against a wall, her fur mussed and the scents of Alonzo and Pouncival wafting off her. Misto was rubbing his temples and concentrating hard, muttering things under his breath. Electra and Plato were engaged in some sort of argument, Plato's voice rising, Electra's teeth gritted.
"No! We need to find her – now!" Plato half-screamed into her face.
"That's what Misto's doing!" Electra snarled.
"Too right…" Misto agreed, his voice slurred.
"For all we know, she's dead," Plato said quietly.
"You have no faith in her," Electra said, sighing.
"Calm down everyone," Jemima mumbled. "I'm trying to sleep."
Plato turned on her. "It's your own fucking fault you're so tired! Maybe try sleeping rather than making out with your tomfriends all the time?"
Jemima said nothing – she was asleep.
"Ah… gotcha," Misto mumbled. Slowly, his eyes opened, one first, then the next. "C'mon, let's go fetch her."
"You've found her?" Plato jumped up and grabbed Misto's shoulder. "Oh, thank the Everlasting Cat…"
"I hate walking," Electra said. "What a waste of time… we could be off to kill Macavity right now." She swished her tail from side to side. "Lead the way, Misto… Oy, Jemima, get off your slutty butt!" she added in a loud voice, hitting Jemima in her face with her foot.
"Ungh," Jemima moaned, propping herself up and resignedly standing.
They would've left the Junkyard with ease if it weren't for the guard. Unfortunately, it was Alonzo who just happened to be on duty.
"He-ey, Jemima," he chuckled, winking.
Plato made an odd noise in the back of his throat.
"Hi," Jemima replied, suddenly wide awake and overflowing with smiles.
"If we can just pass through," Misto muttered, trying to slip past Alonzo.
"Hey, hold it – where're you guys going?" Alonzo quirked an eyebrow.
"We, uh… need to fetch some herbs for my mum," Electra lied quickly, hoping she sounded sincere.
Alonzo frowned. "Doesn't she usually do that herself?"
"You're just trying to find reasons to be suspicious," Electra replied smoothly, smirking.
"My job, yeah?" he shrugged, chuckling quietly.
Jemima surveyed the conversation with narrowed eyes.
"Alright, off you go – hang on, though, Jemima." Alonzo waved the other three off, taking hold of Jemima's paw.
Jemima smiled and leant in to kiss him, but he shook his head, for once looking serious. "Pouncival told me he was suspicious of you," he said in a low voice.
Jemima's stomach lurched. "He doesn't know about us, does he?" she asked frantically.
Alonzo shook his head, and Jemima buried her face in his chest, flooded with relief. "He thinks that you're up to something, though…and yeah, I have to agree. You're sneaking around, Jemima."
Jemima's heart began to speed up. No, no, this can't be happening…
"So… I'd be happy if you could stay here. Just this once. For me?" He gave her a winning grin.
I have to do something.
She socked him in the jaw, tears spilling from her eyes. He reeled backwards, eyes filled with shock, too surprised to retaliate or even defend himself. "For Victoria," she sobbed as she hit him again, over and over. "Victoria…"
"Jemima," he yowled. There was a trickle of blood coming from his mouth and his eye was glued shut in pain. "Jemima, no, don't!" But he couldn't stop her – he loved her.
And so he let the queen he loved hit him. And so he let himself fall to the ground unconscious.
Feeling hollow inside, Jemima tramped away.
Etcetera picked her way cautiously through the unfamiliar paths, hoping that she wasn't going round in circles. Here and there, she noticed a white cat, and guessed that Alyana was, in reality, following her around. It was strange, though… none of them looked or smelled like her. In fact, a few looked like toms rather than queens. Etcetera shrugged it off – she was probably just imagining things.
A feeling of dread intermingled with the hope Alyana had aroused within her. Do it for Victoria, Alyana had said with that knowing smile on her face. Etcetera felt as if she should've understood this, but she didn't. All she could do was keep walking.
She passed a white cat sitting cross-legged by a bunch of flowers. Alyana, again? Except…except this cat's eyes were a different color entirely. As the queen looked up at Etcetera, shock and recognition flashed across those eyes. Eyes the color of ice.
Victoria's eyes are blue, not green.
Alyana's eyes are green, not blue.
It was as if a light had been switched on in Etcetera's head. Everything… it all snapped into place.
Macavity had never killed Victoria, because the queen that Macavity had killed was in fact… Alyana.
But what did that mean?
It means that she betrayed us all. My own sister… the sister who I was prepared to risk my life for… the one I risked so much for vengeance on her life… she's alive after all.
"You," Etcetera forced through her teeth. "You."
Victoria looked away, back down at the flowers. "Alyana," she murmured. "You promised me I could take one, right? I never did."
"Don't ignore me!" Etcetera snarled.
Victoria didn't say a word. Instead, she bent and picked one of the flowers. She held it with both hands and brought it to her nose. "Mm," she smiled, inhaling its scent. "Lovely."
Etcetera shuddered in anger. "What do you think you're playing at?" she yelled.
Finally, Victoria looked at her. She was the picture of calm and beauty, a delicate flower held level with her chest. Her lips slowly curved up into a smile. "Hello, Etcetera," she said. "What are you doing here?"
"What am I – why the hell does it matter anyway?" Etcetera slumped, falling to her knees. "I just want answers…" she whispered. "Why… why won't anyone tell me… anything?"
"I feel your pain," Victoria said, sounding all-too-sincere.
"No. No, Victoria… no you don't." Etcetera looked away bitterly. "Everyone loves you, right? S'not as if… as if they'd hide anything from pretty, perfect Vicki."
"On the contrary, my entire life so far has been a lie." Victoria glanced down at the flower. "I'm not a Jellicle, Etcetera. And they don't love me."
"What the-"
"You've heard enough."
"Huh?" Etcetera whirled around, only to meet a pair of hard, gold eyes. She quivered. "M-M-Macavity…"
In Macavity's right hand, he held a flower just like Victoria's. He smiled past Etcetera at the white queen. In his left hand, he held a knife. "Long time no see, Etcetera," he said softly, letting the flower fall to the ground. His arm snapped up – suddenly, his hand was at Etcetera's throat. She froze.
"Please," she whispered. "Please, Macavity…"
"Tell me why I shouldn't kill you," he leered. Victoria blanched, gripping the stem of the flower so tightly that juice ran down her fingers.
"No, that isn't it…" Etcetera lowered her eyes and took one step towards Macavity. "Kill me now. No one wants me. No one needs me." She smiled sadly at him. "The world doesn't need a cat like me to weigh it down. So kill me. Free me. We'll all be better off… right?"
"Etcetera," Victoria choked.
"I thought my purpose was to avenge my sister's death. But…" She glanced at Victoria. "She's not even dead. So I have no purpose, now. I don't feel… satisfied. I just feel empty."
"No, Etcy – please." Victoria stumbled forward, but Macavity stood in her way. The white queen stretched out a paw to her 'sister', but Etcetera refused to take it. "I don't want you to die."
"Why?" Etcetera asked.
"… I… I don't know." It was the worst thing Victoria could've said. Etcetera just nodded, her suspicions confirmed.
"Alright. Kill me."
"Wait! Plato… Plato loves you, right…?" Victoria was clutching at straws now. She couldn't stop, though – she wanted her sister to live.
Etcetera's eyes darkened. "I need to keep away from Plato," she said. Suddenly, she just broke. She slumped into Macavity's waiting arms, letting him hold the knife against her throat. A blotch of blood formed and grew. Tears spilt from under her closed eyelids. "Dying… is just one way to do that," she rasped. As the knife cut in, she made a gurgling noise and went limp.
"And lastly, we saw your sister…dead."
Misto frowned. "I'm having trouble tracking her," he said, stopping dead.
"Don't let that stop you – c'mon, move faster," Plato snapped, pushing past him.
The tuxedo tom sighed and used his magic to pinpoint Etcetera's location once again.
Victoria turned away. The flower, red as blood against her white chest, she held in one hand. She began to pull it apart, petal by petal. She could almost hear Alyana screaming. When the petals had all been torn off, she tossed the stalk away. She stood eerily still, scarlet petals scattered around her. And then, feeling dead inside, she began to walk away.
"Why are you leaving?"
She didn't turn to face him. She knew what would happen if she did. He would pull her back, of course. It would be all too easy for him…
"I have to leave," she told him, her voice gentle, yet at the same time, forceful. "I can't stay anymore. It's too dangerous…" She bit her lip, still not facing him. "You're too dangerous."
He didn't move to stop her. "If you go back," he said, "How do you know that they're going to accept you?"
"I don't. But it's better than staying here!" she cried out. "I thought you were good! I loved you! But evidently, those feelings aren't mutual." She lowered her eyes bitterly. "You can't love, can you…?"
Macavity's fists clenched. "I…" But he couldn't say it. He couldn't get the last two words out. Damn it!
"See…?" Victoria sighed. And then she was gone.
Macavity stared after her, emotions bubbling up inside him. Any moment now they would boil and overflow. He began to shake – the magic was already taking him, more powerful and more bent on his mind's destruction than ever before. But he wouldn't let it. He would… he would keep his sanity. He had to.
Give it up.
Macavity's head snapped up. He stepped over where Etcetera lay listless on the ground and trod over all the petals until they were stamped into the ground. "I hate you," he said. "I'll kill you, too. I'll kill…I'll kill everyone." A vicious sneer quirked on his lips.
"If I'm ending, then I'm bringing the world down with me."
A/N: Four chapters to go. ;)
This is the life of my stepbrother's cat:
Cat: MEEOOW, MEEEOOW, MEEOOW, MEEOOW-
Me: GRHAHGGRHA CAT, I'M TRYING TO SLEEP.
Cat: But I got you a sock… :(
Yes, completely unrelated note, I know.
