Chapter 29

Location: Prentiss Household.

Time: 16.45

The loud slamming of the door made JJ jump as Amy stormed her way up stairs, her appointment had taken a lot out of her and even though Emily had gone with her, she had no clue what had been said in the doctor's office.

"Emily?" JJ called as she made her way into the hallway, as the door slammed upstairs. The front door opened slowly again as Emily walked in looking more harassed than ever. "What happened?" JJ asked taking in the whole demur of Emily.

"I don't know" Emily said as her shoulders slumped slightly. "She asked to go in alone and hasn't said a word to me since we left there and as you can tell," JJ nodded "Let me go and talk to her." JJ said softly as she wrapped her arms around Emily.

"I really thought we were getting somewhere," Emily said as she rested her head on JJ's shoulder. "A lot has happened since she has last been, it will be okay," JJ said as she rested her hand against Emily's cheek. Emily could only nod knowing that Amy had not been to her appointment since she had gone undercover or since JJ had been kidnapped.

JJ placed a soft kiss on Emily's cheek before giving her a soft smile. "I won't be long, Henry is in the den" Emily nodded before she made her way through leaving JJ to go and deal with their daughter.


JJ closed her eyes as she stood outside Amy's bedroom, "Amy can I come in please?" JJ asked as she knocked softly on the door. She waited a moment still getting no response, instead of knocking again, she tried the door handle only to find it was firmly wedged shut. "Amy open this door now," JJ said in a firm voice.

The only rule they had set down was that none of their doors ever be locked or barricaded shut, this was due to the fact last time Amy had locked herself in her bedroom she had ended up in the psychiatric unit for two months. Her heart sunk as she spoke firmly again. "Amy open this door right now" JJ said her voice firm with only a slight hint of panic behind it.

Still nothing, she couldn't hear anything, fear and panic began to course through JJ's veins as she shouted for Emily, "EMILY!" the fear laced in her voice could be heard in that one word.

A few moments later Emily was running up the stairs coming to a standstill in front of JJ. "What's going on?" Emily asked as she took in the panic, which was laced over JJ's face. "I can't get in" JJ said the worry lacing her voice. "Amy Lea Prentiss open this door right now," Emily scolded as she turned the handle placing her weight behind it, in a hope she would be able to push it open.

Amy had placed her Chester drawers behind the door knowing that the heavy wood would not allow the door to be moved, Amy was curled up in the corner of the bedroom tears running down her cheeks as she stared blankly at the door.


The voices not fully registering, the slight bang on her door, doing nothing to bring her out of her mind. It was blank, confused her body shook slightly as she tried to curl more into herself.

Her breathing slowed but the feelings that were overwhelming her body had taken over, pain, anger and the guilt ripped through her body; the questions, which played in her young mind, took up a form of voices as though they could give her the answers that she was looking for.

She had been trapped in ever since she had gotten into the car to come home in the blank abyss. However, it didn't feel like home anymore, it was a reminder a constance slap in her face, everything was moving too fast swirling inside her, fear of being left alone, guilt of what had happened to JJ, panic had taken over the feelings in which she alone was to blame for everything.

The words which she had spoken to her Ma in anger before she had left to go undercover, to Amy it was her karma. She had hated her Ma for going wishing her dead, but words of sorry came too late in her mind. Her Mom being kidnapped, the most constance thing in her life was taken, had been hurt and she blamed herself.

As though she was the poison behind it, as though she had been the person whom had hurt her Mom, there was nothing rational in her mind, no voice telling her it was not her fault. To Amy she had chosen between her parents, she loved and wanted one more than the other.

Her Ma had given birth to her, but yet the closeness she had with her Mom seemed to overpower everything and she did not understand. Did she truly hate her Ma? Had she truly meant the words she had said in anger and confusion. Abandonment.

The pounding on the door continued but she was lost, so lost in her mind, it had taken over. She wanted to feel numb; she wanted the feelings to subside so she could breathe, so the voices that reminded her of how much her parents hated her would stop. Everything could be still; she had blamed herself for what happened with her Father and no matter what anyone said, she would always blame herself.

The reason she blamed herself was mainly because if she took all the blame in, if she punished herself, no one else could hurt her. Control, it was about control. Being able to control one part of her life while everything else seemed to fall apart at the seams, her world crashed down around her.

Her Mom was safe, but yet it was to Amy as though she was hiding which somewhere deep down she knew was not true, but as the blackness over took her mind, she had caused this. She had set the wheels in motion, she wanted so badly to know what had happened to see some emotion any type of emotion but instead there was nothing.

The only time she heard it or saw it was at night when her Mom would scream for it to stop, scream for her to run. Then the silence came, as she would watch her Mom shake in her Ma's arm, knowing that there was nothing anybody could do. Amy managed to hide her nightmares, she had not slept properly since JJ had been taken, and the only time she had truly slept was when her Ma had come home.

Each night since her Mom had come back, Amy would lie awake listening, hearing the tears, which came from the bedroom. She would sneak in at some point in the night and curl up with her Mom but it was not the same. Nothing was the same as before, and she hid it so well.

Not one of them had noticed that she was drowning that she was barely keeping her head above the water. She was just holding on by a thread, but her grasp was faltering, it was wavering. In addition, talking today had pushed her over the edge as she allowed the water to fully take her, in Amy's mind if she was not here her Mom and Ma would no longer hurt.

The pain inside her was like a vice and each time she thought about them and what they had been through, she feared what would befall her brother and her unborn sibling if she were still here. Would something bad happen to them if she was around, would it be safer for them all if she was no longer near them, no longer in her life.

The doctor had told her that her feelings were quite normal, but that had then planted the little seed, which was eating at her that her thoughts were true, that the guilt she had was true that her Mom and Ma blamed her. That everything which had happened in her life so far was her fault and now it had been planted she had allowed the darkness to take over.

That they would be better off if she was not around, they would be safe. Her family would be safe from harm if she were not here. In addition, no matter how irrational it was, her mind made her believe it.


Emily tried the door again still unable to budge it, she looked sadly at her wife knowing if she was to use her full strength she could harm their unborn child, she gave JJ a soft smile as she spoke. "Jen, ring Morgan he will be able to open this door" Emily said softly as she shouted Amy's name again trying desperately to get some kind of response. She would not even mind if Amy was screaming at her, shouting obscene words at her it would mean that her daughter was okay, that her baby was okay.

The silence was crippling them both, allowing fear to take over as Emily pounded harder on the door causing her hand to become red, she knew it would take Morgan at least fifteen minutes to get here and she prayed in the back of her mind that it wouldn't be too late.

"Sweetheart, open the door please" Emily tried again, as the emotions laid thickly in her voice, the fear of what was going through her daughters mind, the worry of not knowing what had happened inside that doctors office played on her mind. For the first time in a year now, she had no clue of what her daughter was thinking or feeling.

They had all told Amy a long time ago that no matter how bad things felt or how bad things became in her mind to talk to them to tell them, that they would never judge her they would only try to help and it had worked, or so Emily had thought. "He is five minutes away" JJ said as she made her way towards Emily "Anything?" she asked as she looked at Emily, who now had tears lacing her eyes. "Nothing" she replied in a hushed voice.


The heavy footfalls could be heard coming up the stairs, Morgan looked at them both their expression the same he gave them a slight nod, not asking any questions as to why Amy had locked herself away. "I think her drawers are behind the door" JJ said as she looked at him sadly, he could only nod "Want me to knock first?" he asked with a raised eyebrow. Both Emily and JJ shook their heads, if they could not get through to Amy no one could.

The first few attempts Morgan made were not enough to budge the door, he looked for an unspoken permission to kick the door in, grateful as Emily just nodded, it took him a few attempts with his foot and the use of his shoulders as the hinges gave way on the door, the frame cracking slightly as the force moved the drawers just enough so JJ could squeeze through.

JJ stood in shock for a moment as Morgan pushed the door the rest of the way open. "AMY!" JJ shouted as she took in the fullness of what laid in front of her. "I'll ring an ambulance," Morgan said as he too looked on.