Christmas Nightmare
~ Broken ~

"I hate you. I hate the both of you." As Toshiro said these words, he couldn't help but note the shocked look on Rangiku's face, not to mention the high level of pain in her eyes. As he saw this look, he felt his stomach churning, knotting up due to the fact that he knew he didn't like that look. That said, he couldn't put his finger on why.

Stepping away from her, his mind focused on the fact that he wanted to get away from everyone. No matter which way he thought about the problem, it simply hurt. His hands went into his pockets and he focused on keeping his reiatsu in so that woman wouldn't be able to find him. The last thing he wanted was to talk to her before Gin told her the truth.

Thinking carefully, he wondered if there was a place that Rangiku wouldn't be able to find him. Karakura Town was much smaller then the main area of Soul Society. She was the one person who had the knack of finding him though, when he tried to get away from everyone and everything. Somehow, she just knew. The dragon hummed in his mind. "Perhaps this has to do with the fact that she is your mother?"

"You know that I don't want to hear it." The small taicho snapped his words out mentally. "I don't need any form of lecture from you. You haven't helped one bit in this situation, Hyorinmaru If you have any bright ideas on how to deal with those two idiots, then so be it. Until you give me a good idea of how to handle the situation, shut up."

"I personally understand lashing out at Matsumoto Rangiku on this issue, but why are you also lashing out at your father?" The dragon sidled the words in. "Is it really his fault that we now know where your stubborn streak comes from?"

As his dragon said this, Toshiro rapped his arms around his body, shivering and watching as his breath came out as steam. "Is any of this his fault? He didn't have to tell me the truth." His mind tumbled around the idea, then came to another conclusion. "He didn't do it to spite me. He did say he simply wanted to grant my Christmas Wish."

At that, two teal eyes glanced up at the sky. "This isn't turning out at all like I wanted it to. I imagined I would be disappointed in my parents for a different reason and that I could blame it all on me being a freak of nature and not wanted by anyone. I can accept something like that, but this just hurts more."

At that point, Hitsugaya pushed all his thoughts to the back of his mind, trying to forget the pain he was feeling as he didn't like feeling this level of emotions. Feeling cold and numb in a way helped him to block everything. As he stared forward, his eyes containing a rather vacant look, a voice suddenly spoke up.

"Shiro-chan?" At that, Toshiro glanced up to see Ichimaru smiling at him. He wasn't sure what the man was thinking though, as he stepped forward, due to the fact that the small child had always seen a smile on the man's face, even when there wasn't a reason to do so. The man stepped over and behind Hitsugaya, hanging the jacket over the small shoulders. "Next time you decide to run off, wear the proper clothing."

"Does it really matter?" The boy spoke up, refusing to look at the man as he sat down in the other swing. He pulled the jacket on, thankful to have some warmth for his body.

"Are you trying to ask me if it matters if you remember your jacket, or are you trying to ask me if it matters if you take care of yourself." The man continued to smile as two teal eyes glanced up in surprise. The answer to the first is no, but the answer to the second is yes."

At that, Toshiro glanced forward and let out a deep sigh. "Is this you personally saying this, or is this you saying what you think I want to hear, or is this you saying what you think I need to hear, or is this something to get me to talk to Matsumoto because you're trying to get me to talk to her again and you're trying to convince me that she does care about me?"

It was Ichimaru's turn to let out a sigh. "I need to think about that question. However, you and I both know that Matsumoto cares about you and that isn't the problem between the two of you. You want her to acknowledge you as her son, end of story."

"Have you told her?" Two teal eyes glazed back over, indicating that the hurt wasn't going to be easy to break through.

"Not exactly." Gin glanced up at the sky, looking at the stars.

At that, the child turned his face towards the man, his eyes suddenly welling up. "That isn't fair! I know that she doesn't want to listen to you, but I asked her... I asked her to just this once put away her hurt feelings. And yet you're trying to tell me she does care about me. It doesn't add up."

"I know it doesn't." Two pale eyes gave the boy a sympathetic look. "That said, I never said that she doesn't know the truth now."

At that, Toshiro's face twisted up in bewilderment. "I don't understand."

"Well, that makes a lot of sense due to the fact you were very adamant about me being the one to tell her, but instead ended up telling her yourself." Ichimaru simply pushed on the swing slightly, not looking his son in the eye.

"I didn't say anything." The young voice quickly strained.

"It wasn't something you said, it was something you did." Gin paused for a few seconds in his swinging motion. "You should have believed me when I said Matsumoto would have understood the meaning behind that Christmas gift, despite the fact you are still clueless about the real meaning."

"It doesn't mean love and fidelity?" Toshiro's face twisted in confusion.

"I told you, it had to do with the concept of birthstones. Topaz and turquoise represent December."

The man then watched as the child's face suddenly contorted with frustration. "You could have told me that! You had fun playing a game with my head, didn't you?"

At that, Gin suddenly snapped at the boy. "I gave you more credence then you possibly deserved, Toshiro. I honestly thought you would figure out the whole matter on your own." Two pale teal eyes watched as a different kind of hurt appeared on the boy's face. At that, Ichimaru opened his mouth. "Look, it isn't as if you couldn't have figured it out. I gave you the puzzle at the wrong time."

"Isn't a puzzle a game?" Hitsugaya shook his head.

At that, the man looked at the white haired youth, his smile faltering. "Puzzles are a type of game, yes. However, they are meant to stimulate ones progress mentally, to challenge one. They aren't the kind of game you hand to someone of too low of intellect. You like those strategy games, like Go don't you? That is what a puzzle is. I thought you would have known that."

Ichimaru received no response from the child taicho. After quite a bit of silence, he spoke up again. "You do know that you can have fun every so often, don't you?"

"How did you find me?" Toshiro asked, his head remaining down due to his mood.

At that, it was the older person's turn to remain silent. He then glanced away. "I asked Karin-chan. She knows you pretty well, doesn't she?"

"We've only met a few times. I don't know how she could." The small taicho's head suddenly raised up and he turned to look at his father.

The man glanced over, amused at the boy's statement. "I know that you feel comfortable around her to tell her that I'm your father. You didn't tell her because you felt you needed to, like you did with the Kuchiki girl. You did it because it felt all right to you, meaning the two of you are friends. You've never been attached to anyone friendship wise before, have you?"

The small boy simply didn't speak up and kept swinging slightly. Upon finding himself answered with silence again, he spoke up. "Why don't you have a bit of fun right now? Have you ever been on a swing before, making yourself fly up into the air?"

"I don't care." Toshiro stated, his face suddenly contorting with irritation.

"I'm wondering how it compares to flying with your Bankai. Of course, the only person who can answer that question is you." Gin pushed further.

At that, Hitsugaya turned to the man, his teal eyes filled with a high level of anger. "Just shut up about it! I'm supposed to be the child here, not you and Matsumoto."

"Says the child who refuses to act like anything but an adult." Ichimaru paused his swinging finally. "Honestly, would you rather me use the logic I did, to try and interest you in for once enjoying yourself, or do you want me to flat out tell you that you inability to act your age makes me furious, angry."

At that, Toshiro became agitated. "Do you think that is my fault? I've never been allowed to act like a child, even when I was living with granny. I don't see the point of me changing that now and I don't see the point when I was just doing fine spending time helping her with her needs."

At that, Gin let out a deep size and stood up. "Shiro-chan, humor me for a little bit."

"I don't see why I should." The white haired youth muttered, having forgotten the fact that he had been upset with Matsumoto for a short period of time, his reiatsu flaring out for a short period of time. "And this isn't talking about what needs to be talked about, is it?"

"I said to humor me for a bit." Ichimaru moved to stand behind the small taicho and placed his hands on the boy's shoulders. "I want you to hold onto the chains tightly."

"What are you doing?" Toshiro's voice tightened, not liking the fact that the man was simply doing what he wanted to do. His arms tightened around the links, not because he was wanting to comply with the man, but because he was nervous about the whole situation.

At that, Ichimaru's hands suddenly moved from the boy's shoulders and gently pushed on the boy's back. Hitsugaya found himself suddenly moving away from the man, going up into the air. His legs suddenly flailed and his heart pounded in his chest and things simply didn't go a way that either planed as the ride on the swing was rough.

Gin caught Toshiro under the shoulders as the boy came back up and the boy spluttered out in protest. "Are you trying to kill me, Ichimaru?"

At that, Ichimaru wrapped his arms around Toshiro's chest and his chin dipped down beside Toshiro's ear. "I wouldn't ever do anything that I feel would get you killed."

"You could have fooled me." The boy tensed up, then tried to pull away.

Ichimaru simply looked at the child. "I don't want you to run off anymore without telling someone where you are going, Shiro-chan."

"You know, you're one to talk." The boy's mouth twisted up, wanting to turn and leave. However, he knew full well the meaning behind that kind of action. "You were always running away instead of facing things head on."

"I know what I did was wrong. Do you honestly want to end up like me in this regard?" Gin then continued. "Truth of the matter is, you talk about things that will kill you and you were perfectly safe when I pushed you on the swing, maybe getting a scrape at most. You took off on Rangiku and I, not taking your jacket with you and you run the risk of getting sick."

Two white eyebrow's raised up and Toshiro's lip curled up slightly. "Yeah. You care about me. You're the one who said you don't even understand what love is."

"To you, what is love Toshiro?" Ichimaru suddenly piped up.

"Does it matter. I told you I don't know what it is, anymore then what it is." The boy stated, glancing at the ground.

"You must know what it is, since you've been looking for it, asking for it." Gin piped up.

"Love is where someone cares about someone unconditionally." Hitsugaya glanced at the ground.

However, Ichimaru's words suddenly caused the boy to look up. "Then I can say I do love you and your mother. There are things I don't understand, but I'd give my life to make sure that the two of you were alive."