- Extra:


Yuki's favorite Bender quotes (imagine these delivered in a flat tone of voice):

"What do you mean 'we', flesh-tube?"
"Everybody's a jerk. You, me, this jerk."
"Oh wait, you're serious. Let me laugh even harder."
"Stay away from our women. You've got metal fever, boy. Metal fever."
"Let's face it, comedy's a dead art form. Tragedy, now that's funny."


Obligatory anecdote (a nonexistent conversation):

Author #2: All right. Jig's up, dude. You're busted.

Author #1: What's up?

Author #2: You have to ask? What do you call that wall of text in chapter five?

Author #1: (chuckling) I call it a paragraph.

Author #2: Yeah, right. You want to try again?

Author #1: Okay, I see where you're going with this, but the fact of the matter is that it's a metaphor for making out, and it has absolutely nothing to do with sex.

Author #2: Oh, I see. You think I'm stupid? Come on.

Author #1: (laughing) What are you talking about? You just have a dirty mind, you pervert.

Author #2: ...


About Blogging (chapter 1):

Kyon: Hey Nagato, you know anything about blogging?

Yuki: Of course.

Kyon: I don't suppose you have any experience setting these things up?

Yuki: Isn't a blog just a simplified interface for modifying the site's data?

Kyon: I guess so.

Yuki: Why would you need special software for that?

Kyon: You know, I have no idea.


About the Necklaces (chapter 1):

Kyon: (showing the necklace) I don't suppose there's anything special about this.

Yuki: You have Miss Asahina's necklace.

Kyon: Yeah... How did you know it was hers?

Yuki: Each one carries its own independent space, unique to each necklace.

Kyon: Really?

Yuki: Furthermore, each of those spaces is linked so they can be tracked and identified.

Kyon: (muttering) I really should have known.


It Catches the Eye (chapter 2):

Kyon: That blue TV is an unusual color.

Yuki: Is it?

Kyon: Even sitting in the corner like that, it kind of sticks out a bit.

Yuki: Would you prefer some other color?

Kyon: No, I'm just saying it's unusual.

Yuki: Okay.

Kyon: (keeps looking at the TV) ...

Yuki: You sure?

Kyon: Yeah.


No, Really (chapter 2):

Yuki: It's okay, really.

Kyon: What?

Yuki: About the bedroom. It really wouldn't impress you that much.

Kyon: I suppose, but you know...

Yuki: Yes?

Kyon: Well, going into a girl's bedroom. It's kind of...

Yuki: You didn't have any trouble, previously.

Kyon: I didn't realize it was your bedroom, at the time.

Yuki: Go on. Trust me.

Kyon: ...


An Outsider's Opinion (chapter 3):

Kyon: Let me ask you something.

Mikuru #1: What is it?

Kyon: You overheard?

Mikuru #1: Yeah, so?

Kyon: You think Miss Suzumiya got her work done faster than me?

Mikuru #1: I... (hesitating) I do kind of find that hard to believe.


Too Personal? (chapter 3):

Kyon: I'm just curious... I hope you don't mind.

Mikuru #1: No problem. What is it?

Kyon: I'm going to go see a movie with Miss Nagato tomorrow. Would you consider that a date?

Mikuru #1: (stunned for a moment) Um... Yeah, that does sound like a date.

Kyon: So, is there anything I should do? I don't want to be rude or anything.

Mikuru #1: (having some difficulty) I really have no idea what to say.

Kyon: Sorry, I guess it's too personal.

Mikuru #1: (nervously laughing) No, it's no problem.


Nomenclature (chapter 4):

Kyon #2: Oh, I just realized...

Kyon #1: What?

Kyon #2: You said "Mikurus" before. So, does that mean...?

Kyon #1: (promptly) No.

Kyon #2: It kind of gave me that impression, but I suppose if it's just the two of us...

Kyon #1: Yeah. I mean, I do think of her as "Mikuru," but in public conversation...

Kyon #2: ...it's still "Miss Asahina." Okay, got it.


It's Just Crazy (chapter 4):

Kyon #1: I really have to know something.

Kyon #2: What?

Kyon #1: What's the future like?

Kyon #2: You really want to know?

Kyon #1: Yeah.

Kyon #2: It's crazy. I'm kind of glad I came back.

Kyon #1: What's crazy about it?

Kyon #2: Hmm... I'm not sure how to describe it.


The Verdict (chapter 5):

Kyon: (looking in the bedroom) Nice.

Yuki: You see?

Kyon: Yeah, it looks great.

Yuki: So...

Kyon: Yeah, you were right. I mean, I'm impressed, but that's it. No big deal.

Yuki: ...


Winning... At Playing Hard To Get (chapter 5):

Kyon: (watching TV with Yuki) Oh man! That was hilarious!

Later...

Kyon: (playing a card game with Yuki) I'm on a roll! You sure you want to keep playing me?

Later...

Kyon: (playing mahjong with Yuki) I've got you beat. You up for another go?

Yuki: You know what? Just do what you would naturally do.

Kyon: Naturally? (thinks for a moment) Is that what you want?

Yuki: I insist.


An Interesting Picture (chapter 6):

Kyon #2: (beckoning to Kyon #1) Come here.

Kyon #1: What?

Kyon #2: (unfolding a printout) Check this out.

Kyon #1: Whoa! Is that one of those pictures?

Kyon #2: One of the more inspired ones, I thought.

Kyon #1: (very shocked) That's...

Kyon #2: I know. It's awesome, right?


An Interesting Movie (chapter 6):

Kyon and Yuki are watching the movie. Kyon is fascinated while Yuki looks a little bored.

Hero: (pleading) Would you just give me another chance? There's no reason for any of this. I've got all the supplies you need back at my shop...

Later, Kyon starts to look confused while Yuki starts to look interested.

Villain: (very casual) A man who starts on a job and doesn't see it through is not worth my time. Sometimes, you have to get your hands a little dirty when it comes right down to it...

Later, Kyon looks a little disgusted while Yuki is even more interested.

Hero: (angry) You really piss me off! How old do you think that kid was? Fourteen? Fifteen?

Villain: (a little defensive) Oh. Well, excuse me. I didn't know you were in charge here. Are you my boss? No? Anyway, I told the guy to drop his spear. He waved it in my face. What did you think was going to happen?

Later, Kyon looks a little horrified as Yuki looks on with intense interest.

Villain: (a little irritated) I'm getting a little tired of all this whining.

Kyon flinches at the violent image.

Hero: (relieved) I should have just taken the money in the first place.

Villain: (exhausted) Nah... The guy had it coming.

Yuki smiles as Kyon recoils in shock at the next image.


A Horrible Movie (chapter 7):

Kyon: So, in the end, the hero dies. Not to mention his friend and the villain.

Mikuru: So, who survives?

Kyon: Well, let's see. The villagers survive, and most of the samurai. Oh, and the general somehow survives, too.

Mikuru: So, everybody who tried to kill the hero lives?

Kyon: Yeah, I guess that's what it amounts to.

Mikuru: What a horrible movie.

Kyon: ...

Mikuru: What?

Kyon: I... really liked it.


A Horrible Person (chapter 7):

Kyon: I... have a confession to make.

Mikuru: What?

Kyon: You remember how I said I threw out that necklace?

Mikuru: Yeah.

Kyon: (pulls his necklace out his pocket) I lied.

Mikuru: You jerk!


An Unfortunate Slip (chapter 8):

Kyon: So, Miss Suzumiya really likes me?

Mikuru: How did you come to that conclusion?

Kyon: Well, you sort of implied it there a few minutes ago.

Mikuru: Oh jeez...

Kyon: I'm sorry, but I couldn't help realizing.

Mikuru: Why are we even discussing this?

Kyon: Never mind.


A Scary Thought (chapter 8)

Mikuru: So, what did Miss Suzumiya mean when she said "life-changing?"

Kyon: You didn't hear about the computer?

Mikuru: No. What happened?

Kyon: She got busted posting naked pictures of herself.

Mikuru: (stunned for a moment) Oh, you're kidding!

Kyon: (grinning) Yeah, it was just another hacker.

Mikuru: Don't scare me like that!


A Confusing Turn of Events (chapter 9):

Kyon: One thing I don't understand... What exactly was that Haruhi Suzumiya we saw?

Yuki: Which one?

Kyon: You know, the one who told you to put the knife away.

Yuki: That was the Haruhi Suzumiya from just before she became a higher-level data remnant.

Kyon: The Suzumiya specter? How on Earth do you know that?

Yuki: Because she told me.

Kyon: When did she tell you?

Yuki: (smirking) When I asked her about it.

Kyon: Okay, now I'm even more confused...


A Tragic Turn of Events (chapter 9):

Kyon: Well, at least I finally managed to ditch Koizumi.

Yuki: You think so?

Kyon: What?

Yuki: Haven't you noticed how most of your people tend to act, nowadays?

Kyon: (thinking for a moment) Oh, crap.


Obligatory afterward (from two non-existing authors):

Author #1: Well, that's it. I'm finished murdering these darlings. Anything you want to say?

Author #2: To all you readers, thanks for enduring this crap-storm. I can't think of a better way to describe it.

Author #1: Not to mention all my stupid side stories that really should have been aborted before birth.

Author #2: Sorry. Maybe you'll luck out and read something better next time.