Okay so the planning and the attack on mount weather are going to go down very differently. Since Lexa isn't the commander of the twelve clans the army is going to be significantly smaller and there won't be all those generals. So for that reason I am going to be going away from canon for the build up to mount weather.
A guest asked why Lexa didn't say 'I love you'… But I honestly didn't even notice. I was trying to focus on it more from Clarke's side. I don't think we're really questioning Lexa's love for Clarke. I was trying to show more what Clarke feels for Lexa.
This chapter shows a bit more of Clarke and Lexa's beliefs for how to survive the ground. I think they're growing more into their canon beliefs now and for that reason they are going to clash. One of my favourite things about Clarke is that she does like to look for the option where as many people can survive as possible even if that's not an option. I think that's what makes her so different to Lexa. Lexa is focussed on saving as many of her people as possible whereas Clarke wants to save everyone which is why she obviously feels so much guilt after the mountain. I want to make that more prominent in their characters as we come closer to the end now :)
Yes, I said end.
Disclaimer: I own nothing
Clarke resisted the urge to roll her eyes. It had been two days since she was shot and yes, technically she shouldn't be up and walking, but plans were being made for the attack on mount weather and Clarke wasn't going to miss that for the world.
The problem therefore started the moment she pushed back the furs. Lexa was practically shouting her back down and it took all of Clarke's stubbornness and determination to convince the brunette that she was well enough to make the short walk through TonDC. She thought that would be the end of it but apparently not. Lexa had placed Wyatt, her own personal guard, at Clarke's side. She couldn't decide whether it was endearing or extremely annoying but since Wyatt insisted on following her everywhere she settled on the latter.
Currently Clarke found herself huddled in Lexa's tent around the war table with Anya, Indra and Ryder. Octavia had travelled back to camp Jaha to inform Abby about the attack, check-in with Raven about Monty and, Clarke suspected, see how Lincoln was faring. Octavia was due back today but Clarke doubted she would be getting out of this tent anytime soon. Indra seemed content with disagreeing with every idea Clarke proposed and then shooting glares every time Clarke shot down one of hers. Lexa's jaw was locked as she stared down at the maps letting Clarke know how infuriating this was also becoming for her. Anya just looked impassive next to her.
"Em Pleni!" Growled Lexa slamming her fist onto the table.
Indra looked up in shock and Clarke released the breath she had been holding, "She is not helping Heda. She is disagreeing with every plan we suggest-"
"I'm not," Clarke sighed in frustrating, "But I'm telling you that won't work. You can't just walk up to the mountain! I don't care how great you army is but unless you take out the acid fog then that won't work."
Indra stepped around the table to snarl at the blonde, "And I am telling you that waiting for Monty," She spat his name in disgust and Clarke couldn't supress the eye roll this time, "Is a waste of our time. We do not know you will even be able to stop the acid fog."
"You can't just walk up to mount weather!"
"The reapers do."
Clarke shifted her gaze from Indra to Lexa. The brunette was leaning against the table but watching her with a raised eyebrow asking the silent question.
"We're not reapers," Clarke pointed out.
Lexa nodded, "I know that… But what if we were? What if we were with the reapers?"
"You're talking about getting an army through the reapers tunnels and up to the mountain? They have thermal imaging they'll be able to see your approach from a mile off… A small group approaching might go under the radar but not an army."
Lexa stood up and crossed her arms with a small shake of her head, "I don't want to get the whole army caught. But what if we got inside?"
Clarke nodded slowly, following Lexa's train of thought, "Okay that could work… We would have to be caught by reapers for that to work though and even then we can't predict they won't turn us into reapers."
"All the reapers we have ever seen have been male," Anya offered.
Lexa gave a nod and turned to Clarke expectantly. She bit her lip in thought and glanced down at the map of the mountain in front of them, "So we get caught, they take us into the mountain and we end up in the bleeding room where you were," She glanced at the brunette.
Indra snorted, "So you will be caught, granted they don't recognise you, and then you will be locked in cages. How do you plan to do anything once that happens?"
"Monty," Clarke set her eyes firmly on Indra, "He can release us."
Indra scoffed, "And we are back to Monty."
"We have already made contact with him," Lexa's voice was low in a warning that forced Indra to take a step back from Clarke, "Once Octavia arrives we will know if Monty has made contact again."
"What about the army?" Anya jumped in and Clarke silently thanked her because Indra looked about ready to argue back, "What are your orders for the army?"
Lexa thought for a moment t, "If we can get inside then once the acid fog is taken out I want the army ready and waiting outside the main door to mount weather."
"How do you plan to open the door?"
"Once we're inside we can get to the control room," Clarke said.
The sound of people approaching alerted them to Octavia's arrival. Lexa dismissed them and Indra left immediately with a slight huff. Anya spared a glance to Clarke then followed the general out with Ryder close behind. Clarke was about to leave but Lexa caught her arm and spun the blonde to face her.
"Clarke I do not think that-"
Clarke let out a low growl, "Do not tell me that I'm not coming with you."
Lexa furrowed her brow, "Clarke if they recognise you in there then I can't protect you."
"You can't ask me to stay behind Lexa."
"I'm not!" At Clarke's affronted look she caught the blonde and stared at her pleadingly, "I want you there Clarke but if they recognise you then this plan will fail. We need them to be unaware of our presence and that can't happen if they recognise you. I don't like being separated anymore than you do," Clarke winced at the memories from their previous separation, "But this isn't like last time and we can't afford to put our own feelings first here Clarke. I'm sorry but if this is going to work then I can't afford the chance that the mountain might recognise you."
Clarke let out a frustrated sigh. She didn't like being separated but she also knew that Lexa was right. Unlike Lexa, Clarke had been taken along with the other delinquents. Most of the doctors and guards had seen her face and there was no doubt in her mind that they would recognise her. She didn't want Lexa going in there without her but if she went Clarke would just be putting Lexa in even more danger and that terrified her even more.
"I don't like it."
Lexa cupped her face gently, "Neither do I. I love you Clarke, so much, but we cannot afford to think like that right now."
Clarke leant forward to learn her head against Lexa's and sighed, "I know… but goddammit you better be careful."
"And you…" Lexa kissed her cheek, "Just because you're out here doesn't mean you're in any less danger Clarke." Her fingers brushed the bandage across Clarke's chest and the blonde nodded slowly.
Clarke pulled back just enough to look into Lexa's eyes but so she was still in the brunette's gentle hold, "Who are you taking with you? You can't afford to take any male warriors with you."
"No," Lexa agreed, "And I think taking Indra could cause more harm than good… But I have a good idea."
"Anya?"
Lexa shook her head, "I need Anya here. She's the only one that can watch the Trikru, command the army and keep Indra in line."
"Who then?"
XoXoXoX
"Me?"
Lexa smirked and shared a smug look with Clarke. Octavia stared at her incredulously, "You're not going to get that past Indra."
"I'm the commander," Lexa scoffed, "Watch me."
Octavia had arrived flanked by more people from Camp Jaha than Lexa would have liked but there was no going back now. Bellamy had taken it upon himself to accompany his sister and, much to Clarke and Lexa's surprise, Lincoln had arrived with them as well. He looked slightly pale and there was something distant in his expression but Lexa felt slightly more at ease with having Lincoln around as well. Abby had accompanied them as well which didn't completely shock Clarke but she still found the fuss incredibly frustrating as her mum looked over the already healing wound. It was uncomfortable but not life threatening though with the way Abby had been glaring at Lexa she might as well have shot Clarke herself. The argument that followed burnt up a lot of frustration that had built up inside Clarke over the previous few days.
Octavia grinned and tightened her grip on the blade in her hand, "Who else is coming with us?"
"There's a warrior and a second that will be joining us. Anya introduced me to them and the second is about your age… I'll introduce you to them later." She turned to Clarke.
"Has Monty made contact?" She asked.
Octavia, "He's found the acid fog but said there'll only really get one chance to take it out so he's currently waiting on Raven's orders. She's already recruited Wick into helping with that one."
"Right," Clarke nodded and turned to Lexa, "Once you leave I'll head for Camp Jaha to make contact with Monty. Make sure he knows to get you out."
Octavia's eyes widened, "Monty said a girl called Maya is helping them. There's people in the mountain that are helping our people."
Clarke felt her blood run cold. She shook it off momentarily and forced a smile, "Thanks Octavia. We'll be out in a moment."
Hearing the dismissal Octavia gave a brief nod then turned for the exit. Clarke waited until the tent flap closed behind her before turning to Lexa with a panicked expression, "How do we do this without killing everyone inside?"
Lexa scoffed in disbelief, "Clarke those people are killing our people!"
"Not all of them," She hissed nodding to where Octavia's form had just disappeared, "Some of them are helping, you heard what Octavia said, and they don't deserve to die Lexa."
"It might be an unavoidable outcome Clarke."
Lexa turned to leave but Clarke caught her elbow and forced her back with an angry expression, "No."
"What?" The brunette growled back.
"We are not doing this." Clarke said dangerously with a firm glare, "We are not pushing those people's lives aside because it 'might be an unavoidable outcome' that's not us. We're not murderers."
"No, we're not," Lexa agreed, "We're leaders. Which means we do what we must to save our people."
"We don't have to kill everyone in our way to do that!"
Lexa let out a cry of frustration, "You're not listening Clarke, we might not be able to make that choice. You cannot tell me that you won't choose to save our people over the mountain men. You asked me to get our people out… That is what I'm doing."
"I didn't ask you to kill everyone," Clarke growled, "I'm asking you to save lives not take them."
Lexa shook her head and took a step back from Clarke, "We have all taken lives down here. You killed those Trikru outside at the dropship. You made the decision to take their lives in the name of saving the 100. It is no different to this decision."
"You're wrong," Clarke said simply, "It is different; I'm different. I don't want to be a murderer Lexa. I want to save lives so I'm not going to be the person to put one life above another."
"Even if it means saving our own people?"
"There are innocent people in there Lexa!" Clarke cried in disbelief.
Lexa shook her head, "Nobody is innocent Clarke. Not you, not me, not our people and certainly not the mountain men. All this is… It's doing what we need to survive."
Clarke raised a hand to rub her temple in frustration, "So is this the life we're living in now? One where survival means taking a life? I'm not sure I want to be a part of that…"
"What are you saying?" Lexa's eyes flickered over Clarke's features fearfully.
Clarke took a shaky breath, "I'm saying that this," She indicated around the tent, "This is what you're fighting for. Even if you win this fight with mount weather do you really think the killing will stop? We came from down from space to survive but so far we're just killing each other."
"This is our life down here. This is surviving."
Clarke slumped back against the table and tried it ignore the pain in the green eyes that were watching her pleadingly, "Maybe life should be about more than just surviving… What's the point in surviving if you're not really living?"
"I'm sorry Clarke…" Lexa whispered but she didn't really look like she knew what she was apologising for. Clarke closed her eyes as she felt Lexa move closer. A warm palm came to rest on her cheek but the usual reassurance was gone and instead replaced by something she couldn't explain.
Clarke pulled back from the brunette's embrace and tried to ignore the hurt that flashed across her face. Lexa's hand brushed her own as she passed her and Clarke caught the quiet whisper of, "I love you."
She took a breath but didn't turn around to face her, "And I love you… but I can't kill all those people Lexa and you can't ask me too."
"I'm not," She murmured and took an apprehensive step closer to Clarke, "But I am telling you that saving them may not be a choice we have and when it comes down to it I will put my people first."
Clarke felt fingers brush her hips and she turned in Lexa's hold to stare up into the green eyes, "And who are your people Lexa?"
"You," Her eyes flickered, "The 100… but I have a duty to the Trikru now as well. I will save them all and I will sacrifice the mountain if that's what it takes." Her eyes hardened momentarily.
Clarke scanned Lexa's face, "I'm not prepared to make that sacrifice."
"You're a leader Clarke."
"No," She shook her head, "I'm not. You are… I'm just… I'm trying to save my friends."
Lexa leant forward slowly as if seeing whether Clarke would pull away or not, "But they look to you as a leader. You were born for this Clarke."
Clarke bit her lip and glanced down to see her hand tightened into a fist against Lexa's coat, "I wasn't born for this Lexa. I never asked for that."
"And you think I did?"
"I know you didn't," She whispered then let out a sigh, "But you're prepared to do this, I'm not, and I can't have that on my head. I want to save everyone but… I can't be the one to choose one life over another. Not again."
"Okay."
Clarke looked up in shock to see Lexa watching her with understanding and warmth. She shook her head, "Okay?"
"I won't ask you to make that decision Clarke and I'll be here for anything you need."
"You shouldn't have to make that decision either," Clarke shook her head; "I don't want to push it onto you."
"It already is on me Clarke," Lexa wrapped her arms around Clarke and pulled her into a comforting warmth that released a breath from the blonde that she didn't even realise she had been holding, "But maybe I can ease your pain."
She tried to take reassurance in it. She tried to ease herself into Lexa's assurance… But it stayed at the back of her mind; it might be an unavoidable outcome.
So Clarke's feeling conflicted. Gotta love a bit off foreshadowing.
